Will I Ever Feel Thin Enough?

[Meg]

Dee asked a great question in our thread on body image that I think deserves its own thread:

The thing I am struggling with now is when do I know when I am done losing and really truly at my goal. Will I ever feel thin enough?

What have all of you found? Do you feel like you're done losing weight? Have you redefined your goals? Do you feel 'thin enough'?

[Mel]

Good question! And one that has sparked a lot of debate and unhappiness in this household. No, I don't think I'll ever feel thin enough or that I've achieved goal, because I don't have the bone structure to have the kind of body I want. I've maintained at what was originally my goal weight for 3 years minus 2 weeks now. I wear a size 4-6, but I don't look small other than short. My body pretty much decided that this was my goal weight and just refused to go any lower. If I stopped lifting weights and let my muscle atrophy and ate less, I guess I'd drop a few pounds, but that seems pretty pointless.

I know that I'm at a weight and size that I can maintain through what I consider a reasonable amount of exercise and eating plan. There's not much room for slipping, but it is maintainable. The only times that I've gotten lower have been on competition diets with double sessions of cardio as well as a 4 or 5 day weighlifting split, or in a state of post-surgical anorexia. Neither is a longterm way of life

What is comes down to for me is that I don't like my body shape no matter how "in shape" it is. Intellectually I know that losing more weight won't fix that. I just have to live with it. At least my thick heavy bones are strong!

Mel

[boiaby]

At this point I do feel like I have lost enough weight. In fact, I think that parts of my body could stand to put a few pounds back on. My problems now stem from excess skin issues. I feel like I need to keep my weight lower than I probably could just because I need to be able to fit the extra skin into the clothes that I have and want to wear. If I am ever able to have the extra skin removed then I'm sure I will want to add a few pounds to fill out my upper body a bit. Right now my shoulders, arms, and chest look extremely bony despite the weight training I do to tone my muscles. I'm certain the appearence of my upper body is why some people feel that I've lost a little too much weight. But they don't see the rest of me that I try so hard to keep hidden. In fact, they're quite surprised to learn that I wear a size 10 (at 5'8" and 135 lbs.). Most people just don't understand how much of an issue the extra skin is. But yes, I do feel like I've lost enough, and the number on the scale does not need to be any lower.

Beverly

[Only Me]

I think I feel "thin" enough, but I'm still not really happy with my body. When I look in the mirror I see the saggy, wrinkly skin on my stomach, the thighs that cling onto fat way longer than any other body part, etc. Although I am having difficulty with the idea of not seeing the scale going down anymore, I can accept that I'm at a good weight for me. So I've ended up turning to fitness goals for now. My weight loss journey may have turned into a maintenance journey, but my body is still a work in progress I guess.

[AnneWonders]

I struggle with this one on a daily basis. I never set a weight goal when I was losing weight. I wanted to be healthier and to be thin enough so I could be active, and most of my goals were more fitness oriented rather than scale oriented. So whatever it turned out to be, it turned out to be. Weight is just a number after all--I refuse to let it define me, then or now. But somewhere along the way, I decided I wanted a BMI such that I wasn't defined as overweight.

My original goals are all met--my health is great, cholesterol is where it should be, I've done all kinds of long distance racing, I can shop in a regular store, by body fat is 25%ish, and people don't seem to perceive me as being overweight. Mission accomplished. I'm at a weight that is comfortable to maintain, though I certainly would not say it is easy. I should jump for joy. Some days I do!

But I still want to lose 15 more pounds anyway. Sigh.

[almostheaven]

I started with a 135 goal, then adjusted it to 130. But I keep saying "I'll know when I get there". I know I'm close and that I'll feel thin enough within the lower range of a healthy weight for my height. I feel like I've lost almost enough now, but still need a bit to go around the middle and am hoping the last drop will be from that area.

[Elanajel]

Interesting question. I revised my original WW goal up by 3 lbs. when it was clear I could not maintain at my 1st choice. Today, in talking with my leader, I may revise it up again. I lost 1.2 lbs. this week after 3 consecutive weeks of gainin 2+ lbs./week. I am in a good groove of exercising 4 times/week, tracking food, making healthy choices, drinking a lot of water, feeling good about what I eat.

So I think I will see what I weigh at the next 2 meetings. If I stay where I am now, that is probably going to become my goal. It needs to be a weight I can maintain without a huge struggle.

One drawback I have found with WW (tho. overall the program helped me tremendously) is the focus on a single number. I feel my health has improved, I look great, I'm exercising and I am much more in tune with my body and what it needs. But all I track at WW is the number on the scale--it's a very limiting and limited measure of things.

[jansan]

[quote=Elanajel] So I think I will see what I weigh at the next 2 meetings. If I stay where I am now, that is probably going to become my goal. It needs to be a weight I can maintain without a huge struggle.

QUOTE]

I have no idea what my goal weight is. My intermediate goal is 170 but I know it will be less than that eventually. In my youth I would stay at certain weights easily for very long periods without even thinking about it. 144 was one where I stayed the longest, and more than once. Too bad I thought I was too heavy at that size. I guess I am going to have to work that one out when I get closer. My body will make that decision. I also want something sustainable without a huge struggle. I am willing to be vigilent and careful and not eat cake daily. I will be 60 this winter so I dont care if I am a hunk magnate or not - though that might be fun..... I just want to be healthy, active and attractive, and have lots and lots of clothes that fit and are cute.

Counting the months, Jan

[srmb60]

Well, I still have this little roll that hangs over my waistband when I sit. I've ordered a set of body fat calipers and will work on BF% instead of focussing on weight.
I'm quite afraid of complacency so maybe it's all right to think we're not quite there yet. Then there is alway something to strive toward.

[vmelo]

I chose a goal weight of 135, and I have about 2-3 lbs. to go to get to that. However, I'm not sure why I'm focused on 135. After all, what will it really matter if I lose that 1-2 lbs.? It's not as if my body will magically change. Like Mel, I think it's more to do with a body that doesn't look like I thought it might when I reached this weight. I'd like my stomach and butt to be tighter looking, but overall, I'm getting to the point where I'm accepting the way I look . I'm 36 and big breasted --- gravity has kicked in, and there's not much (beyond surgery--which I'm not willing to do) that I can do about it. The good news is that I am happier with the way my body looks now than when I was 180 lbs., and I'm happy and the positive changes to my health.

[featherz]

I'm wearing 2's and 4's in jeans and I'm quite happy with my 'weight' - I think between 125-130 is a good range for me, even if it's a bit higher than others at my height (5'4). HOWEVER, I'm fairly active on the bodybuilding boards and I'm not really happy with my bodyfat levels - still have jiggly thighs and a belly so I am trying to lose BF % and then I'll build muscle (I hope, I hope!). My eventual goal is to maintain around the same weight, just have less of it be fat!

However, if it doesn't work, I'll be happy where I am now.

[Ilene]

Will I ever be thin enough? I really don't want to be thin, I want to be lean and fit... At the moment I'm fairly fit but I'd like to be leaner with less, a lot less body fat... I'll be able to tell that when I get to see more muscles in the mirrors... Things are moving along quite well, although I wish it would go faster, but I'm patient, sometimes...

[jiffypop]

i will NEVER be tiny. and it's unlikely that i'll EVER be actually thin, either. but frankly, it's not possible for me to focus on 'am i done' yet. but i'm THRILLED that even though i'm having a rough time emotionally these days, EVERYTHING STILL FITS the way it did a month or two or three ago. [and i use FITS loosely! just like those jeans i can get off without unbuttoning.. and the shirts whose labels say they're 2x right next to the XLs and occasional L that i figure all fit the same way!!!!] [meg - didja notice i'm trying to inject a little reality into this delusion????!!!!!! ]

anyway, i'm content right now. but part of that contentment is knowing that i still have work to do. i doubt that i'll EVER be 'done.' but that's probably also because i can't imagine living without having to focus on this issue.

[Meg]

Originally Posted by jiffypop

[meg - didja notice i'm trying to inject a little reality into this delusion????!!!!!! ]

Yes, I noticed! I'm proud of you, chickie - now when are you going to ditch those jeans and you and I go shopping?

[Dawnajoy]

i'm content right now. but part of that contentment is knowing that i still have work to do. i doubt that i'll EVER be 'done.' but that's probably also because i can't imagine living without having to focus on this issue.

This was so well said, Jif. Take out the words "having to" and put in "choosing to" and it speaks to me in a good way.

Part of my goal was not to HAVE to run everything through what I call the "fat checker", and I do mean everything. And for me that has happened. I no longer have to think about it in the same way. I can go and do and be whatever I want. What freedom! I fit anywhere I want to go, I have the energy and strength to do anything. I don't think anyone who hasn't had to filter everything in regard to that can truly understand how debilitating it can be.

That said, I differ from many others who have had WLS in that I LIKE eating healthy and exercising. I LIKE coming here and getting ideas. It is part of being a part of the "real" world that I looked forward to. I never expected nor wanted a magic bullet. I wanted a level playing field, and I got it. At this point in my journey, I get out of life exactly what I put into it, just like everyone else. I love that!

As far as feeling thin enough, depends on the day. With so much excess skin, I am never going to see the contours that I'd like, but I can see progress. I can gain muscle. I can get stronger. I like having fitness goals. I like the process, and changing my focus from pounds to fitness has let me continue on a path I really enjoy.

I think for me it is a balancing act. Always something to look forward to, while being kind to myself about where I am right now.

Dawna