[tolose85]

I am looking for advice from the pro’s here!

I lost one pound last week which is OK. I know it only gets harder when you are in the final stretch of losing, but this seems SOOOOO slow! I have been battling the temptation of candy corn. A co-worker has it on her desk. Candy corn is my FAVORITE candy at Halloween time! I’ve dipped into it a few times today. I won’t go over one serving size but I shouldn’t even be eating it at all!

I need to do something to get back to business here. For the past week and so far this week, I only exercised a total of 2 times. I have been more liberal in what I am eating and feel very content with where I am weight wise. I don’t want to be content.. I’ve got 13 more pounds to go for my initial goal to be achieved and 23 to reach my “dream” goal.

What can I do to get myself back in gear. I get so pumped up about it but then think well, “I’ll just exercise an extra 30 minutes tonight then I can have this”. I know that’s not so wrong because I am within my 1000 calorie range every day and with exercise (when I get to it) I have ample calories left for little treats.

Fall scares me. I feel like this is the time of year when our bodies start preparing for winter or “hibernation mode”, fat storing, slow down from summer, etc. I cannot and will not let this happen to me!

So. I am looking for suggestions on how to regain control and/or how to get through this last stretch of losing, before maintenance. How can I get back to being more strict with myself. At least until I reach maintenance!!!

You all have been there. What did you do??

[Sweater Girl]

Gretchen: yup, the last part of weight-loss is hard, our weight plateaus, our initial excitement of losing may have disappeared. I know, I am about teh same from my personal goal and although my eating hasn't been terrible, it hasn't been ideal either for the last week. First of all, congratulate yourself on what you have acheived!! You're 72lbs lighter than you were!! Yee-haw, become excited about that, asides from the people you know here on this board, how many people do you know who have done that? See you rock Since chances are this phase of weight-loss may be slower maybe make tiny increment rewards that aren't necessarily weight related. For example if in October you exercise say 4 times a week, each week, get a pedicure to reward yourself with pretty toes.

Learn to think or slow losses or plateaus as practice for maintenance and don't beat yourself up for little indiscretions (heck I plan treats to keep me on plan). I think every maintainer here slips once in a while, it's normal, we're human. The main key is to not let a lapse turn into a slump. I have learned to forgive myself for slips too... not to let them consume me and just make sure my next bite is a good one. I keep thing mantra in my head, "progress not perfection" <even when I do slip in some bday cake and fries this weekend).

You're 13lbs away!! yah!! You're in the home stretch!! Just think of it that way, and just keep plugging at it! You'll be there (regardless on how long it takes you)!


Cheers!

Ali

[Meg]

Hiya Gretchen! Before I take a stab at your question, I have to second Ali — you’re doing FANTASTIC! Take a minute and try to really appreciate how far you’ve come this year — not just the number of pounds lost, but the incredible (and permanent) changes you’ve made to your life.

I’ve been thinking all day about how I want to answer you because you really bring up some important issues. But before I get to my not-so-deep thoughts, I gotta point out that one pound a week is about as good as it gets at this stage of the process, chickie! The days of two and three pounds a week are gone forever, my dear — wave bye bye. It’s s-l-o-w from this point on and don’t be surprised if the day comes when it stops and your body just says: this is it, this is as far as I’m going, and voila! you’re at goal!

All of us can understand how determined you are to lose those last pounds. But instead of giving you diet or exercise tips, I want you to think about something else. This might sound completely crazy, but in my experience, you’re entering into the stage where weight loss/maintenance becomes more of a head game than anything else. You’re already an expert on calories and exercise since that’s what got you to where you are now. You’ve got the nuts and bolts of weight loss down pat, right? You automatically figure out how many calories are in every food you come across and probably do calf raises while you’re in line at the grocery checkout. It’s the head stuff that’s tricky now and on into maintenance.

Here’s what I'm reading in your post: you talk abut being afraid about fall — you’re worried about being content where you are — regaining control — being more strict — wanting to be pumped up again. These are all emotional issues — the head stuff. The problem I see is that you know what to do, but sometimes you’re just having a hard time making yourself do it. And I'm guessing that you're feeling like a little bit of a failure right now and terrified that you'll gain the weight back.

Totally 100% natural and normal.

My advice to you is to forget the numbers on the scale right now. Try to stop focusing quite so hard on how many pounds you have to go to reach goal and instead re-cast this time period as your transition to maintenance, like Ali’s saying. In the end, it doesn’t matter how long it takes for those pounds to come off -- it's not a race. I know you’ve hung around here at Maintainers enough to read that for most of us, maintenance really isn't any different than losing and how important it is to come up with a plan that you can comfortably live with for the rest of your life -- because it’s got to be for the rest of your life!

Maybe the answer isn’t to be more strict with yourself. Maybe the answer is to give yourself a little slack and to ease up a bit? I have to suspect that you're both mentally and physically fatigued from all the months of focused dieting (I sure was). You haven’t lost control — not by a long shot — and you’re going to make it through the fall and winter just fine. Trust yourself. You don't have to be perfect -- all you have to do is make it work for you.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense at all , but the bottom line of what I’m trying to say is: long-term weight loss success or failure ends up being more of a head game than anything else. You’ve made permanent changes to how you deal about food and exercise and emotions. You’re an certified expert at losing weight. Now's the time to integrate those weight loss skills with the rest of your life so that maintenance becomes an easy and effortless part of the background. I don't think you need to be more strict or tough on yourself -- you're doing wonderfully well just as you are, candy corn and all.

[jiffypop]

oh meg, right on the head, once again!!!!

from now on, gretchen, the challenge is to come up with a plan that you can REALLY live with. not one that you have to be OBSESSED about [although i know that some folks seem to need that obsession in order to maintain].

right now, i have 25 pounds to my goal. i'm drifting down at around 1-2 pounds a month, and that's just fine with me... unfortunately, over the past couple of weeks, some personal things have happened and i've gained several pounds. but i'm getting back on track this week [in steps - i can't do everything all at once!!!!] and i KNOW i'll be fine.

this is one point where kindness to yourself, confidence, self-love, all come into play. it's not a time for self-anger or hate.

you have to figure out how to live with this.. peacefully, so that you can be happy.

[Meg]

this is one point where kindness to yourself, confidence, self-love, all come into play. it's not a time for self-anger or hate.

you have to figure out how to live with this.. peacefully, so that you can be happy.

Oh Jiff -- you put into words what I was struggling to say. That's it, in a nutshell.

[funniegrrl]

I echo Meg and Jiffy ... I'm in about the same spot you are goal-wise, and my progress has been slower still. In addition to Meg's wonderful points about reframing your references, I want to toss out this:

When I think about maintenance, I think that having a goal of some sort to move towards is still important. Not a size or weight goal, but some other type of accomplishment to work at. Usually my thoughts in this regard are about physical activity. Taking up a new activity -- think of all the different exercise modalities there are! or sports! Yoga, Pilates, Tae-Bo, biking/spinning, swimming, tai chi, martial arts, dancing (latin, ballroom, belly, whatever), rollerblading, ice skating, basketball, tennis, squash, canoeing, rafting, skiing ....

You get the idea.

Or maybe you can pick some sort of 5K or half-marathon and train for it. Or ... whatever floats your boat. But I think for me it'll be really important to at least periodically have new things I want to tackle. Learning something and trying to master a new set of skills will keep you fresh and interested. Don't worry so much about what this will do for your body. Sure, having your body learn to meet new challenges is GREAT for everything overall. But, also think about what it'll do for your mind!

[tolose85]

Thanks you girls! I really REALLY admire you and truly value your words of wisdom.

I don't feel hatred or anger toward myself, I feel like I let myself eat an extra treat now or then, more than I would have during the major losing focus. I guess it's ok to do that because I know, I won't let it get out of hand and I know I will not go off into some eating frenzy. I am way past that. Even on vacation, I really over indulged and only had to show a 3lb gain for it. The very next week, the weight was all gone and I had lost an additional 2 lbs on top of it. I know I'm OK with controlling my eating habits because I HAVE changed them and know I won't eat like I did before. The troubling part for me is I can't stop feeling guilty for eating a little off plan--eventhough I know the next day/ week I can "make up for it" by being extra good and getting back to where I should be. It's weird. I just know that when I first started out, I let NOTHING tempt me. There were NO off plan days unless it was etched in stone in my journal to have an off day. It just seems that now, I will just go ahead and eat that candy corn (just a few pieces) or go ahead and skip a day of exercise if I don't feel up to it. Neither of the two patterns I just described are long term, meaning I am not going to continuously eat candy corn until I'm sick or stop exercising forever but I have it in my head that if I could just get back to the state of mind I was in when I started, that the weeks of 2-3-4 pounds of losing WILL come back!

I guess what I need to realize is that it does slow down toward the end of the losing phase and no matter how hard I exercise or how many perfect eating days I have, I'm still probably going to only lose 1-2 pounds a week... I think I just talked myself into believing this as I am typing!!

I feel much better knowing that you all have been through it. I am so gald I have the opportunity to interact with such brilliant people!!

[almostheaven]

I second these emotions. I'm on my last stretch and I slacked off into a maintaining mode for awhile. The renewed desire to kick back into reducing my calories to bring off the last pounds just came up. I didn't worry about it when I was maintaining. I still wanted to get back into my determined mode and lose that last drop, but I'd worked so hard for so long, I enjoyed a break for a bit. At holidays, I always stopped worrying about it. So what if you gain a couple pounds from a holiday. As many as you've taken off, those will be easy to get a handle on again.

[Sweater Girl]

Funniegirl: Excellent suggestion on training for a race... I have been great at exercising due to training for one myself... After my 5K, I will start training for a 10K in December than a marathon for May because I am insane!!

Gretchen: I know, guilt I find works against me rather than for me (I am sure others use it positively, but not me). For example I had a bad supper and DQ last night... oops, how did that happen? So I sat down this morning and figured out my stratagy for this week and realized yup, I am stressed (I have a lot on my plate right now), yup this week probably won't be any easier, so my conclusion? Focus on one good food habit this week, let myself take some me time to help minimize stress (a long run is always good) and deal with my stress in a positive way... Anyway for me, guilt usually turns into more food, so I will also always try focus on my next bite not my last one.

Cheers!

Ali

Cheers!

Ali

[Mel]

Gretchen,
I go through this on a daily basis. Not the exercise part- that really is a permanent part of my day, but the food. I've been at goal plus or minus 5 pounds for almost 3 years now, and it really is a headgame. I don't know if I'll ever get to the place where the food part is just second nature. I still want to dip into foods that I know are going to hurt me and cause me mental and physical anguish. The trick is to have more good days than bad, and know that you can get back on track quickly.

What you've done so far is fantastic! Now the "living it" part starts.

Mel

[jiffypop]

gretchen: words like 'feeling guilty,' and 'extra good' are little red flags for me. some folks set themselves up for self-punishment. there's a good girl/bad girl thing based on one's food choices that often feeds into people's self worth and self image when these words start creeping in. believe me, i'm really talking about myself here... and i know i'm not alone around here.

it's just something to watch out for. you've done such an incredible job, and as these wise women have said: it's time to live it... making the zillions of little choices every day and balancing your physical and emotional needs.

it's not easy!!! in some respects, losing the weight was the easy part!!!

[Sweater Girl]

Jiffy and Meg: I reread both your posts and were so right about the self-love and the headgames stuff.

Just a side piece of advice, never look at your eating as "All or nothing". When I used to slip, I decided to stay down and just keep eating. I find the best thing for me is to learn from the past but not dwell on it and just look towards the future. Figure out what works for you and what you can live with.

Good luck everyone, I know a lot of us have external stressors right now (breathe deep Ali).

Cheers!

Ali

[Meg]

Keep breathing, Ali!

I just went back and re-read all the posts too and I have to say how impressed I am with all the responses — Jiff cutting right to the heart of the matter (as usual), Funniegrrl’s outstanding suggestions for alternate goals, awesome posts from everyone else. It's what I love about this forum — this is real life and real people struggling to deal with real issues. It’s not some idealized hearts and flowers, “happily ever after” view of weight maintenance — like all our problems magically go away once we reach goal. For a lot of us, this is something that we have to be conscious of and work at for the rest of our lives. But we also have to figure out how to have lives outside of diets and weight loss and exercise. Like Jiff said: we can’t be obsessed forever.

And Jiff said:

it's not easy!!! in some respects, losing the weight was the easy part!!!

Truer words were never spoken.

[jiffypop]

i'm catching up during my lunch break at my desk. and can i EVER relate to that 'all or nothing' idea!!!!" oh my. i ate too many carbs yesterday, and ate too often. not deal-destroying, but NOT the thing to do.

and my eating is OK today. nothing weird. EXCEPT. i don't want to eat!!!! yep. this really is JIFF speaking!!!! so i've had a couple of bites of chicken, and i'm staring at this lovely salad with all kinds of things that i like, and I DON'T WANT TO EAT!!!!

day by day, hour by hour. step by step. it'll get better.

ok i ate a cherry tomato.

[Mel]

Jiffy, can I drive over to Joisey and have you rub my head or something? I eating for both of us, and then some. This has got to stop, NOW!

Mel