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Old 08-21-2004, 10:38 PM   #1  
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Default Extreemly Frustrated with not so well meaning friends and co-workers.

I have had to grow a second skin since I started this new phase of my life. When I realized I was 285 lbs, was waking up with headaches and unable to do the things I loved, I made major changes in my food and life choices. I have now lost 135 lbs. A few people have been supportive (mostly family), but many have been obstacles and even outright hurtful. This week I must not be in a good place because the comments have really sent me to a not so good place. I went out to lunch with co-workers during a planning meeting and when I ordered a salad and Ice Tea, my assistant joked about how I was becoming anorexic ( I didn't find the joke very funny). A 15-minute discussion proceeded regarding my weight loss where I felt like I had to defend myself.
Has anyone else gone through this? If so what did you do to get back on track.
Lynda
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Old 08-22-2004, 10:57 AM   #2  
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Lynda, Jack is absolutly right! Don't ever let anyone discourage you from your dreams. I don't think people realize how thier words can sometimes cut so deep. You have done so well already, you are an inspiration to people that think they can't do it,myself included. I have a few "skinny" pictures of myself and when I get discouraged I look at them or think of wearing a bathing suit to the beach for the first time since middle school. Do what ever it takes to get yourself back on track! You know you have it in you! Good Luck

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Old 08-22-2004, 12:01 PM   #3  
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Thanks for letting me vent. The encouragement is very helpful.
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Old 08-22-2004, 12:57 PM   #4  
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Jack is right, this is very very common. Sometimes it's jealously, sometimes it's discomfort that you aren't who you used to be, either in looks or habits. Sometimes people just think people who take care of themselves are weird, even shallow in a way. (And, the former me used to think like this!). The next time one of these discussions starts, why not say, "I'm really happy with my new lifestyle, but talking about it so boring ... Mary, how's that grandchild of yours?" Or whatever.
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Old 08-23-2004, 04:29 PM   #5  
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Lynda, how odd! My mom was just talking to me about this last night! She was telling me that when she lost weight, everyone around her tried to sabotage her weight loss by telling her that she had lost too much, that she was anorexic, why couldn't she eat like a regular person, etc.

That is so sad! I think your loss is amazing, and that you know best what is feeling right with your body. How you look has little to do with it, and unless they are a good friend, they don't know what is going on with you other than how you appear. What really matters is what is going on inside you. How do you feel? Are you feeling healthy? Are you eating clean? Are you happy and satisfied with yourself? I think, with the great accomplishment you have made, you have earned the right to feel good.

I wish I had great advice for you on how to shut those meanies up, but instead, I offer lots of support! I hope you can find some healthy ways to deal with those bad feelings...maybe one of them will be posting here! Have you found the journals yet? They can be a great way to vent, then see what others have to say about how you feel...if nothing else, you'll know you are not alone!
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Old 08-23-2004, 09:05 PM   #6  
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Well I am in a better place today. Thanks for the encouragement. I was able just to smile and let the comments roll today.
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