i guess we don't realize how important they are until we're thrown completely off. some folks do well with a topsy turvy day, but i've found, through hard, painful experience, that if my first few hours of the day don['t follow a fairly set pattern, i'm set up for all kinds of problems later in the day. they range from disorganization and hunger to crankiness. anyone have any clue why that happens??????
my routine was SERIOUSLY shredded this morning. instead of getting up around 6:30, getting lunch/food stash together, then tea, protein, hiking or 3 mile walk. and then breakfast on the way to work, it was
up at 6, tea, 30 minute walk, assemble food stash, conference call at 8 am. work on proposal. conference call at 9:30. work on proposal. conference call at 10:30. then breakfast. then off to the office.[and yes, those pretzels are still here!!!!]
it just didn't work!!! i was disoriented, hungry, not refreshed, and didn't recover my equilibrium until lunch at 2:30!!!!!
and because of the deadline-driven stress here, i KNEW i'd succumb to the pretzels, so i brought in a bag [single serving!!!!!] of atkins crunchies. i've eaten 1/2 bag, and it's helped control EVERYTHING: hunger, stress, desire for crunch.
and things are more relaxed. deadlines have been met. i'm so glad it's over. and although i feel as if i've gained about 20 pounds, in my heart of hearts, i KNOW that wasn't possible.
unfortunately, because of the deadlines and my still-not-quite-healthy self, i canceled my appt with the trainer tonight. oh, and did i mention the weather as a contributing factor here???
but i know i will be shoveling, so that's more cardio and weights!!!!
thanks for letting me rant.
tomorrow will be better. and i kept thinking about the need to make choices. and realized that my only hope was to make an effort to salvage the rest of the day, both in terms of food and attitude. one affects the other, and i'm not sure which comes first!!!!
I had a shrink once who used to say "there's a big difference between feeling something and acting on the feeling." In other words, you have an emotion, it triggers an impulse, you act on the impulse. Or don't act on the impulse. My husband might really tick me off, so I have an impulse to bean the guy with a brick. But I don't act on the impulse. If I did I'd be talking to the D.A. right now, lol!
I think most people are pretty good at controlling their impulses, better than they realize, otherwise the world would be a much worse place than it is. But controlling is itself a stress, which might lead to more 'bad' impulses.
My shrink would tell me to go ahead and feel the feeling, let it wash right over me, and soak into every pore, and say to myself "I can feel this, but I am not FORCED to act on it. I feel this, but I don't have to do anything at all about it." So you just learn to let it go.
This little mental trick has really helped my golf game to no end. In golf, you might hit a bad shot, but then you have to totally forget about it and concentrate on the next shot, which is a completely different situation. If you let the stresses from one bad shot carry over to the next, you can set off a chain reaction and have a pretty bad day. So you just try for "emotional amnesia" as you walk from the green to the next shot. You have to just let it go.
People with short attention spans and poor memory, like my husband, have a real advantage in this, lol!
Shoot - I'm going thru topsy-turviness this week - with my meetings and then taking my group out for long dinners (thank goodness tonight's the last one for awhile!).
I'm very much a creature of habit and I enjoy my routine. You know I get so many people at work and the stables and elsewhere in my 'real life' asking me "HOW the heck do you get up so early - do you have a loud alarm clock or what??" The thing is...most days I just wake up, look at the clock and it's around 3:45 or 4 am! (of course, having two hungry kitties that are conditioned to being fed at 4 am doesn't hurt, except on Sundays when I do like to sleep in until around 6 am...)
Now as far as acting on impulse - I've quoted this before but it's been awhile - bears repeating - from Rosemary Green's Diary of a Fat Housewife (paperback version):
Quote:
PRACTICE ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL: ...Pay particular attention to this principle. It has worked miracles in my life. It was only after reaching my goal weight of 135 pounds that I came to understand the critical importance of environmental control. I call it practicing "the common sense of self-defense," and it has not only enabled me to lose the weight - but to keep it off.
Finally, I realized that the typical "here's a diet...now stick to it" line from the doctors simply wasn't enough. I faced the fact that willpower, applied at the wrong point, had failed me for years. Willpower alone simply isn't enough. At least not in the conventional sense. I still cannot trust myself alone with a cheesecake. I am afraid I would eat the whole thing. So should I throw up my arms and give up? Or should I practice "the common sense of self-defense" - a conscious effort at environmental control where food is concerned - and NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO BE ALONE WITH A CHEESECAKE!? You see, I have discovered that we fatties must look further than traditional willpower for a solution. We must implement a little ol' brainpower! We must determine which link is our weak link in the stimulus - response chain that leads to overeating. At which point in the chain can we expect our willpower to fail?
After 20 years I faced the fact that I simply can't control myself once the maple bar is in my hand. At that point, it is not my fault if I eat it. It is literally beyond my control. Like the alcoholic sitting at a bar with his favorite drink in front of him, once that stupid maple bar is in my hand, I am a goner. BUT...I DID have control before I bought the greasy sucker. Or before I walked into the store. Or before I got out of my car. Of before I stepped into my car. Heck, I knew I was going to buy that life-wrecking hunk of sugar and grease before I sneaked out of my house. That is where willpower must be applied! When the first wicked thought of excess calories enters the brain - that is the place to nip it! Benjamin Franklin said "It is easier to suppress the first desire than to satisfy all that follow it." And Mark Twain said "It is easier to stay out than to get out." So I have made a comittment to me: I am Rosemary. I am a foodaholic. I must never again go into a grocery store alone...If I follow that rule, I will never again buy a stupid maple bar. "The common sense of self-defense." The sweet sound of thin and healthy for life! You see, I have become like the alcoholic who was smart enough to get out of the tavern!
Think of the extremes to which a basketball coach goes to win a game. He makes his team carefully scrutinize a videotape of their latest game. They study each move. They discuss each player's strengths and weaknesses. They plan strategies and play sot improve their next game. Their next game. All this planning and scheming...for a GAME!
What I've learned over the years? If you want something badly enough...you have to work at making it second nature. In the past three or so years, I've been taking riding lessons - the first time I've ridden English (hunt seat and dressage) as my parents only wanted me to ride Western (when I did have the chance to ride). The first few months of my lessons, I was so frustrated when trying to post the trot - it's important to stay on the right 'diagonal' (A rider rides on the left of right diagonal at the trot depending on whether he rises as the horse's left or right foreleg moves forward. On a circle, the rider should always rise as the outside foreleg moves forward) while posting and I thought I'd NEVER get it. But with practice, after a few months it finally came to me, and now I don't even think twice about it - it's second nature! Just like getting up early in the AM for my workouts!
you've both raised extremely interesting, and very important points. and they tie in with something i learned in a support group about zen and the art of weight control... in brief, NOTICE the emotion.. don't act on it. just let it happen. and the other part is identifying the links in the chain and then changing them...
so... i'm actually pleased that i sort of did this, but more out of a desperate desire not to fall back into old patterns than a conscious decision to incorporate these attitudes into my day. that's why i had on hand ONLY single serving bags of atkins crunchies [13 grams of protein, 100 calories... works for me!!!!], and not those larger bags of genisoy [single servings of those would be great but i haven't found them]. that's the environmental control... i think.
and i recognized what was going on with the stress ... and just didn't cave into it... but i sure didn't want to acknowledge or look at it.. i just wanted to survive...
and i DID give myself a special treat: tricolor salad [lots of fresh arugula] with balsamic vinaigrette from an excellent italian take out place to go with my chicken for lunch. and instead of eating at my desk, i forced myself to take a lunch break with some of my colleagues... a rowdy bunch who got into friendly arguments about baseball.. and started tossing packets of mustard at each other. <sigh> hard to believe htat they're all over the age of 30!!!!
ans SITC: i used to play golf as well... and i'm planning to return to it. maybe this spring [although i'm not sure spring will actually show up any time soon]. i remember the 'one shot at a time' focus. it's very much a staying in the moment experience.
thank you both.... things will get better. they HAVE to.
hugs to the kitties karen.. i have one as well, and she has the 85 pound lab/rottie very well trained...
Umm, Jiff … snow shoveling is WITHOUT A DOUBT both cardio and weights. But I’m confused here — I thought your trainer was really cute, right? And you’re canceling out on him? Girl, where are your priorities?!
All kidding aside — great post, Jif — it really got me thinking about how very important it is to develop a routine. And it has to be a fail-safe, infallible routine; one that we know without a doubt WORKS to keep us slim and healthy. Just the way you described your typical morning.
I remember reading that when musicians practice difficult symphonies, over and over again, they’re actually creating new linkages in the brain — synapses, perhaps? — I don’t know the scientific term. New pathways for electrical impulses to travel. In that way, when it’s time to perform, they don’t even have to think about what they’re playing. The music flows effortlessly along all these newly created pathways.
I think it’s similar for us with our maintenance skills. At first, it’s hard; we have to think about everything we’re doing; and we constantly have to practice our new skills. And that’s pretty much what these routines (like your morning routine) are — patterns of learned behaviors and skills, practiced over and over again, until they become effortless. We move through our days, following our routines that we know work, and success becomes almost effortless.
But like you talked about, when that pattern is disrupted, we lose our equilibrium. Success isn’t almost automatic — we’re thrown back into chaos. And it’s SO easy to make bad choices in those circumstances.
You made me stop and think about how much the success of my day depends on all those patterns that I’ve established over the past few years. Planning my meals, AM cardio, oatmeal and protein powder for breakfast, going to the gym, frequent, small meals etc, etc. (all these would be different for each of us). Ideally, I don’t even have to THINK about the basic structure of my day — it flows along in the established patterns and routines that I KNOW work for me in maintaining my weight loss.
I think you deserve huge congratulations on staying out of the pretzels with all that was going on with your job and stress. Perhaps by choosing the Atkins crunchies (a much better choice for you since pretzels are your trigger food), you’ve set up a new and positive routine/pattern of how to deal with stress at work. And if we all keep practicing these new skills and routines, then maybe they’ll become natural and effortless. After all, Karen keeps telling us that maintenance gets easier the longer we practice it!
So thanks for the timely post about the virtues of a routine!
Redundant dip sez "always something there when I need it!" My morning was off today too and resulted in feeling like I lost the opportunities of the day. I didn't accomplish anything except thinking about the things I needed to accomplish.
whew!!!! seems like it's an issue ALL OVER. and maybe this 'routine thing' is one way we can avoid wrecking our entire day. we ALL know that attitude: i screwed up here and there's no way i can recover from it, or "i'm so stressed i deserve a treat.'
i'm here to tell you all... after the last few days. after talking with you all, and with a few other people, i've come to a major conclusion: when i am so stressed it's NOT a treat that i need or deserve. what i REALLY need [and deserve] is to GET BACK INTO THE ROUTINE. i've decided that this is REALLY and TRULY the only way to help me de-stress.
my goodness... is it really jiffypop saying this? the queen of chocolate as the reward food???? what an attitude change!!!!!
Wow. Very timely for me, too. I had my first physical therapy session today and the physical therapist said we are going to train my leg muscles to react. Practice, practice, practice. So today I practiced walking up a single step. Up then down, then up then down, and holding on only a little bit. And I sat on an exercise ball and practiced, well, practiced not falling off!
I can think of my weight/health/exercise journey the same way - just keep practicing not falling off.
What a great thread! You guys have really given me some terrific insights. I love that article you posted, Mrs. Jim ---I always appreciate the wisdom of a Mark Twain quotation.
Perhaps one answer to this is to view those chaotic days as "practice sessions" for future non routine days. Almost like emergency training. If we can devise strategies for staying on program on non-routine days, that's definitely another level of success. My big challenge is when I go on vacation. I've never yet been on vacation and stayed on program to my satisfaction. Usually, I end up chucking the whole program, i.e., not exercising at all and eating the wrong foods frequently. If only I could somehow work even a little exercise into my vacation and eat goodies only a little bit, then I'd feel successful.
It's all a process. At least we're still working on it and not giving up!
I'm not generally a stress eater, I'm a migraineur. So mess with my routine, or stress me, and almost immediately the "aura" will start, and then the pain is not far behind. Once that gets going, I can't stand the sight or especially the smell of food, or sounds, or light, or any other stimulus. For me, the stress = massive sensory overload, and I HAVE to escape it. Either I get in a dark, quiet room and pull the covers over my head, to exclude light, or I just faint dead away.
I wonder if stress eaters are feeling the same massive sensory overload, but their "coping mechanism" is a food that has a tranquilizing effect. I've read that carbos and chocolate calm and soothe many people. Oddly enough, sugar and chocolate invariably trigger a migraine, or make it much worse for me. In either case, the process I'm suggesting is overload --> brain malfunction at chemical level --> "coping strategy."
SITC - yes, certain foods in some people will trigger seritonin, thus producing the calming effect. This happens at some time, unbeknownst to the person, and subconscious takes over to remind them the next time stress or anxiety hits, that certain food will help. However, the claming effect is only temporary, and opens the door for a binge. There are many sensory cues, so to speak, most of which we aren't always aware of. This was in the current chapter of Dr. Phil's book we're working up at the book club forum - Key 4: Mastery over Food and Impulse Eating.
I'm with you, Jack. Can't wait for the weather to get cooperative and get out in the gardens and yard.
Dip: I guess I don't make enough serotonin no matter what. A hot bath can help sometimes, it redirects the blood flow from my throbbing face. OTOH the fear of pain keeps me away from certain foods, so maybe there's some good in that, in a twisted way. (End pity party, lol!)
Jack: A suggestion for you, FWIW: have you tried a volunteer job? That would get you out of the house and provide some networking and social contacts. And you could feel good helping out. There are a lot of organizations that would be glad to have you, I'm sure.
Very thought provoking posts here. My life has been nothing but chaos for the last few weeks- sick, sick kid, work schedule that changes daily, dh's work schedule that seems to be 24/7, dd crisis- and eating has been a constant challenge. I didn't give in to it until today and now feel like warmed over crap. And I knew I would when I took the first bite, but for some reason that didn;t stop me. How come knowledge of the outcome is not enough to stop the action?
I'm not sure I go along with the musician analogy. I've practiced difficult piano phrases endlessly (one year my goal was to master all the Bach 2 and 3 part inventions) and I certainly agree that's what's going on physically. Creating new neural pathways and what my old piano teacher called "finger memory" (like muscle memory in the gym) but I don't really think it applies to emotional behavior or reactions. Or I haven't been practicing long enough. But it's been almost 3 year! I could have learned all the Cantatas and the Goldberg Variations by now!
Along those lines, I just wanted to tell you about one of my clients- she has severe nerve damage on the left side of her body. When we started together about 5 weeks ago, she could not lift a 2 pound db with her left arm or do any weight on the leg press with her left leg. Today, after much experimentation on how to re-teach her to connect with her muscles, she was able to curl 12 lb db and do 50 lbs with each leg separately on the LP! Another example of building new neural pathways through practice. I'm so excited for her. I know those aren't huge weights, but she started with nothing and no way to do it.
Now I feel little- shoot if she can persevere through that, I can forego crappy food.
Great thread! You girls have me thinking, thinking, thinking, that next time I have a stress day, that I must at least do ONE thing of routine and that may lead to a SECOND... For me that would be exercise and oatmeal and PP....
mel... your story has me almost speechless. my first reaction was that the lady's progress has nothing to do with your eating habits. she's working out of desperation and your 'crappy eating' <which i'm sure is better than some people's best efforts> sounds only human...
but then i kind of hit myself upside the head with a 'jiff... what have you been working for ALL THIS TIME.' kind of realization...
i was bedridden. on oxygen. not able to walk. or breathe. or talk. i was your client. well, even worse in some respects., at least she's not dragging an oxygen tank! i had to learn to walk again. dragging the damn tank and the physical therapist following me with the wheelchair.
and every single day i am grateful that i'm not back there. and it was literally one step at a time. and i'm not going back there..
it's minute to minute some days. tell your client that we're all cheering her on!!!!
and SITC... i remember something about a link between serotonin and migraines. i'll have to go find it. you have my deepest sympathies.
and jack. i've been in your position. very very frustrating. new jersey has several programs for displaced workers... sessions in resume writing, networking, interviewing, and other job hunting skills. i got so much out of this... is there any possibility that pennsylvania offers something along these lines? it'd be in either the unemployment office or the department of labor.
it gave structure to my day [there's that ROUTINE idea again]. and goals to accomplish. even though it took awhile to find a job, i knew i was getting there and i'm telling you, as a professional writer and editor, i learned SO MUCH from the resume writing class... and i still use it!!!
the virtues of a routine
pretzels 
