Not coincidentally, more rational conversations yesterday with my manager about current projects. The head of the dept that I'd be moving to sought me out for a conversation. It was reassuring, but now, on reflection, he's telling me I won't get the job I'm up for, but he'll end up hiring me for the next opening.
Andrea, your post made me squirm, which means you're right.
Andrea I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm maintaining in the range I want to be in. I post in the "weight loss" thread because hardly anyone posts in the "chat" thread.
Dagmar, the class I was taking was titled "Gentle Yoga." But it still evidently included poses that aren't good for me. It seems to be the twisting moves that do it. I think I have too much flexibility in some vertebrae joints but not enough in others. Time to see my chiropractor and get some input about my lower back. Also, I probably need to strengthen my core.
Andrea, you have a good point. I do sometimes wonder about the paradox of a maintenance forum where most people posting are wanting to lose. I don't post here too often, and it's because I've regained. My weight is stable now, but high. I would like to weigh less, but getting lower might take more than I'm willing to give. But I'm relatively healthy and almost 70, which is a different situation than what most posters have.
I want to add, I find it hard to be sympathetic for those who weigh, say, 130 and are unhappy about it. It begins to seem like a mental habit of dissatisfaction more than a concern grounded in reality.
At any rate, I do agree that finding a "serious" weight loss forum might be helpful for those who continually find themselves wanting to weigh less but feeling stuck.
do any of you also read and post in one of the "real" weight-loss forums? It seems as though those of us who post here haven't really changed our weight in a year or more, and it seems a bit disingenuous to keep creating these threads that claim we're losing when we aren't. I'm wondering if we aren't self-reinforcing our failure? That is, by being in this group where all of us are "trying" (but not very hard), we enable each others' lack of real progress?
Spot on. You hit it.
No, I don't post elsewhere. I think it's because I've gotten to "know" everyone here. But you're right. I'm not trying hard enough.
Andrea, a few times when I was really ready to dig in and work on losing a lot I tried creating a separate thread because it felt like it needed a different focus, but it always just ended up being this same thread again.
For myself, I can tell you that when I am here and posting regularly in this thread, I do actually focus on my weight and lose weight. If I don't log in to 3FC at all, I will maintain or gain. To me it's not as much about what thread I'm posting on as it is about the action of going to a place where people are thinking about their weight. All my periods of gain lately have been when I was not checking in regularly here. (Also, I feel like there's a difference between wanting to lose a significant amount of weight and wanting to lose, say, three pounds.)
I think that the psychology of maintaining (Dagmar) is different from that of someone trying to lose 1-9 "vanity" pounds (me; Michele), which is different again from someone who wants to (re)lose a more serious amount of weight (Saef? Silverbirch? Jessica?). I also agree with Jessica that posting regularly (and logging my food, and weighing at least every other day) all help me regardless of the forum, but for me, those tactics and this forum really only work for maintenance, and I need to cultivate a more intense focus on portion control and persistent delay of gratification to lose. Plus it's definitely hard for someone with 30+ pounds to lose to hear about the "trials and tribulations" of a person trying to lose 5, and definitely NOT motivating. I know 'cause I've been the one with 30. For these reasons, I have been going to the Featherweights board (which has issues of its own) for its more intense focus on losing, but find myself coming back here every day or so because I feel like this is my home; the Featherweights definitely don't seem have the kind of depth and thoughtfulness that this group does. It's unfortunate there aren't more of us in this section, so we could split into a "true" maintainers section, an "easygoing" re-losers group and a 3rd one more intensely diet focused.
I think that the psychology of maintaining (Dagmar) is different from that of someone trying to lose 1-9 "vanity" pounds (me; Michele), which is different again from someone who wants to (re)lose a more serious amount of weight (Saef? Silverbirch? Jessica?). I also agree with Jessica that posting regularly (and logging my food, and weighing at least every other day) all help me regardless of the forum, but for me, those tactics and this forum really only work for maintenance, and I need to cultivate a more intense focus on portion control and persistent delay of gratification to lose. Plus it's definitely hard for someone with 30+ pounds to lose to hear about the "trials and tribulations" of a person trying to lose 5, and definitely NOT motivating. I know 'cause I've been the one with 30. For these reasons, I have been going to the Featherweights board (which has issues of its own) for its more intense focus on losing, but find myself coming back here every day or so because I feel like this is my home; the Featherweights definitely don't seem have the kind of depth and thoughtfulness that this group does. It's unfortunate there aren't more of us in this section, so we could split into a "true" maintainers section, an "easygoing" re-losers group and a 3rd one more intensely diet focused.
Yes, I agree completely about the different psychologies. At one time we had did have a weekly chat plus two different threads for vanity and serious amounts of weightloss which allowed those different focuses.
Yes, I'm a 'want to lose a serious amount of weight' person and I'm using the Beck Diet Solution board partly because it's got a good number of participants. It also has a moderator who's there daily (BillBlueEyes) and some degree of structure. I think that the maintainers board swung along pretty well when that was the case here (Meg was the moderator), but it's a few years ago now and we don't have the same number of active posters now although I'm sure we have a lot of lurkers. I've noticed that there are fewer posters overall nowadays, together with fewer active moderators, and I'm not sure why that is. That's partly why I asked where other people are getting support from.
Have to go as a busy day awaits. I may get back later. And then I'm away from crack of dawn tomorrow until Wednesday night, but I may be able to post.
Oh, and my 'eat three reasonable meals a day' diet is looking promising. I only eat real food so that's not an issue. I also don't have the brain space for anything clever in the food line so I think it could work. I think this lack of brain space for thinking about and tracking food has been getting in the way. Fingers crossed. I would very much like to get rid of a serious amount of weight.
Forums like this have been declining since the advent of Facebook, haven't they? I like talking with strangers whom I know a little online about the topic of weight, which would be monotonous to people in real life. Also much of my day is taken up in professional interactions and with those, you've got to be so very careful. I am not going to make myself vulnerable to them by sharing my struggles with body image and a strong tendency toward compulsive behaviors.
As for the business of my weight: Down a little more to 159.9.
What is it that makes me gain on weekends when I don't see myself splurging? Again, it's not that I am eating differently, it's that I'm not controlling portions. This weekend I'm going to stay on my feet more and try to observe my behaviors. This morning, it was sleeping in until 6 AM, rather than waking at 4 AM, as I do during weekdays. The same programmed breakfast. I'll be off to the grocery store, where I don't eat, just buy, and then the gym for the leg workout, which is not an easy one. It's the rest of the day, fairly unstructured, that can cause problems.
It's the rest of the day, fairly unstructured, that can cause problems.
This is what has really tripped me over the past two or three years. I've had to be pretty flexible most days so even an outline plan often gets blown out of the water. Circumstances are changing, though, and I'm working on getting the structure back into my days.
This is what has really tripped me over the past two or three years. I've had to be pretty flexible most days so even an outline plan often gets blown out of the water. Circumstances are changing, though, and I'm working on getting the structure back into my days.
Re structure vs freedom. I have a very structured week most of the time. It's easy to eat the same food over and over for brekkie and lunch and snacks and vary dinner. The weekends were where I was falling down. That and consuming alcohol - again on the weekend.
So now I am very aware of what I put in my mouth on the weekends and try to eat a bit less since I'm not putting out the same physical effort I do on weekdays. And I've basically stopped drinking alcohol except for the occasional (every 2nd month or so) 2 beers on Sat. night.
That structure is what I feel is helping me most to maintain within a 3 lb. range with a minimum of effort.
It also helps that, as I age, my body seems to be rejecting a lot of the over eating I was able to do when younger. It physically shuts down after a certain amount of food and I start to feel pain if I eat more. I don't like pain so I stop.
Just had a thought. (I should obviously iron more often!)
If the purpose of this thread isn't being met and no-one is posting much in the weekly chat thread, we could get rid of this thread and the weekly chat and post all of our deep and shallow thoughts and accountability statements in one new thread. It could be called something new, to differentiate it from all historical threads.
Weekly chat is still useful for those who want to post about their pets, their sports, etc. which some object to seeing in the "weight focused" thread.
There are very few new people who come here and stay. It's the same bunch and has been for a long time. And slowly, the long-time posters post less frequently.
The day will come when no one is here... Thus passes the glory of the world!
Those of us long timers that still post obviously are getting something here. Friendship, understanding, support, motivation, etc. I don't know if it matters what we are getting, as long as we feel the forum is still useful to us. I agree with many of you-- my real life family and friends don't want to hear about my weight issues and insecurities, especially as I'm currently a "normal" size. I do rely on the accountability of checking in, and I fear without it I would be less focused health wise. Maybe it's a crutch but it works for me. I also know I need to post more and work on my focus if I want to lose any weight.
I don't care if posters here are happy with their current weight, want to lose a small amount or a considerable amount. I sometimes feel some posters are a little biased against those of us with less to lose. Since I started posting here years ago, my weight has fluctuated up and down about 25 pounds. To me, that is considerable and I hope the forums don't die a slow death. Not sure the chat thread is still needed as it barely gets used. I propose we combine to one weekly thread and try to keep off topic chat to a minimum (but not forbidden as pets and such are important parts of many of our lives).
I hope our regulars keep posting, the lurkers chime in, and we can get some newcomers too!
What is it that makes me gain on weekends when I don't see myself splurging? Again, it's not that I am eating differently, it's that I'm not controlling portions. This weekend I'm going to stay on my feet more and try to observe my behaviors.
This question would be trivially easy to answer if you measured your food for a week or two. Not even truly "measured" - just served yourself using the same size spoon/scoop and put it into a bowl where you could note how high up the food went, instead of on a plate. I know you don't want to bring back your "craziness" around food, but it seems to me that you've been driving yourself just as crazy with this weekday/weekend thing for a couple of years now, and it's a totally answerable question. Just sayin.
As for Silverbirch's idea that we consolidate the 2 threads into one, it does make some sense. If what most of us get from this board isn't really diet motivation but more a place to vent about our weight-related struggles and our lives, and putting as many of us as possible into the conversation would be better. Those who felt the need could then select a more weight-loss-specific board elsewhere on 3FC (or wherever) as a supplement to this one. That's quite logical I think.
I haven't had any "struggles" with my weight for about a year. So should I be here at all? Yes. I have no community anywhere in the "real" world where I can talk to someone or post anything but the most trivial stuff.
I think I would be struggling with my weight if I couldn't come here and post, even though most of my posts are not about weight any more.
I would be happy with whatever thread(s) all of you want. If I become the only one left in "chat" it isn't really chat yes? But I do post about my pets and things I like so you all would have to accept that.
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