Andrea I think it's a matter of the degree of control we have to exert to maintain our weights. For me the lower the weight the harder it is to maintain.

I am quite satisfied now with my weight being 135 and don't have to do much to maintain it. But getting comfortable with being 10 lbs. over what was originally my goal weight was the biggest obstacle. IMO there is a tendency for a lot of women to think they "should" be thinner than they need to be.

I think most people who maintain a "normal" weight range are a bit careful with what they eat. They occasionally splurge and occasionally cut back. IMO that's just living, not disordered eating. Just sayin'

Dagmar

I agree with Dagmar. 'a bit careful with what they eat' - yes, that sums it up to me.

What's worse is either/or thinking like this with two extremes as the only choices.

Someone who is overweight does not automatically develop high blood pressure and high cholesterol, nor do they always succumb to heart disease and/or diabetes. Correlation is not causation. Normal weight people can and do develop disease.

Yes, my weight has been stable for months now. Would you call me a maintainer? When I tell you it's stable in the obese BMI range, will you still call me a maintainer? Probably not, because the definition is "lost weight and kept it off." That means that whatever the lowest weight was that I last achieved, that's the measure of success. it's crazy. it's arbitrary.

80% of people who lose weight through dieting regain weight eventually. That means weight regain is normal, by definition. We can't conclude that all those people just didn't know how to do it right.

The world is full of people of all shapes and sizes. The current concept of a "normal weight" person is a definition based on some ideal. Better to go out and actually measure a population if you want to know what "normal weight" really is.

So, no, I'm not going there, meaning to that level of constant vigilance and planning for the sake of a scale reading. All it does is make me stressed and unhappy. It's also backwards thinking. What I'm looking for is a healthy way of living that does not mean feeling deprived or vigilant. The question isn't "How much do I weigh?" but "How do I want to live?"

Andrea, I have to disagree with you. I would rather die early than spend my life in misery, never able to enjoy myself because I decided it was that important to be thin. Am I the minority? Maybe.

I don't feel that my eating habits are disordered. It's true that I accept that I am going to maintain in the higher end of the normal weight range rather than the lower end, but that is the trade-off I have made to keep my sanity. Sure, I could diet my way down to 115lbs and take extreme measures to keep my weight there, but if I can be 135lbs and healthy and not have to micromanage every single bite I take, I will gladly accept the additional 20lbs. 135lbs for my height is still a healthy weight.

That said, sure, I weigh a lot more than that at the moment and I'm trying lose it, but while sometimes I think "I would look great if I weighed 115lbs" I am never going to make that a goal because it's just plain not worth it to me. My goal is 130/135 because my goal is something I can live with and enjoy my life. I need to be able to have weekly indulgences. I need to be able to skip a workout every so often without feeling bad about it.

This is clearly a very personal decision and your own personal biology plays a factor as well. If being a size smaller is more important to you than eating dessert once a week, that's your decision to make and I wouldn't fault you for it. For myself, I will take the ice cream and be a size bigger. As long as it's not ice cream every day and increasingly larger and larger sizes, I'm satisfied.

Jessica I'm so glad to see that another woman who is my height and weight is satisfied. I have always felt kinda "fat" when looking at most people's "after" stats here.

Dagmar (it's Friday and the start of a 4-day weekend for me)

First post here and just a quicky. I consider myself a now several year maintainer although, yes, I could lose a few....but I am NOT gaining.

I wanted to share a quote I saw on FB. The scene is a young girl and her mom.

Question: "Mom? What is... Normal?"
Answer: "It's just a setting on the dryer, honey"

tommy - I love that.

Thanks so much Saef! I happened to check in on my way up to our rehearsal and saw your message. It's exactly what I need to remember.

Congrats, JayZeeJay, wishing you much happiness!

My weight hasn't really moved since DD and DH went away, but my diet and exercise have been on track.

I'm sure some folks would consider my current WOE disordered (one meal a day), but I find it simple to follow, works for me mentally (I get to have a *satisfying* meal), and it allows me to eat social dinners without angst (which has been a big issue for me in the past).

I could not really make it appear effortless, but I know that is an important mystique in some circles.

Have fun tomorrow, JZJ!!!

I cannot get that article out of my head. I know how far away from being well and healthy I **really** am when I find myself recognizing another woman's emotional pain and yet part of me is actually envying her for successfully maintaining a low weight through profoundly disordered behavior.

That's because my disordered behavior, which of late has been relaxing, has been unsuccessful, has resulted in regain. Yes, regain. The "r" word. I'm not going to kid myself. I was 142 for a long time. The scale read 154 on Friday. Now granted I've been doing some serious weight-training. My butt and belly have never looked better. But that is NOT all muscle.

And I am feeling badly about my self-image which reflects my feelings about my competency in life in general, as I am overwhelmed with work, with four big writing assignments that came in, all at once, over the past two days, and the prospect of working through the July 4th weekend just to stay even with the pace.

This stress will either result in my bingeing, or obsessing on food (already it started, it's those damned apple chips, currently available readily from the gourmet food section in TJ Maxx, Marshalls or Home Goods) or restricting severely. I've told you, food is not the point, it's just a form of expression, a venue through which I express what is really going on with me.

Saef, yes that article bothered me too because I don't want to be that obsessive, but want to maintain. Sorry that you are so busy and stressed at work. Ridiculous that in the summer they pile on extra work. Not that I'm saying everyone should lounge around all summer, but usually things slow down some.
I'm sure with all the exercise you are doing you look great, but I completely understand the number on the scale controls your day and confidence. You should be proud of how fit you are, I can only hope to reach half of what you are doing one day!

Hope JZJ's day was perfect! Can't wait to hear about it

: today. Down 3 lbs. since last Monday and 1.8 lbs. away from 135 - my first goal in the "summer project". No energy drinks for 3 days and limiting myself to 2 caffeinated drinks (iced coffee, iced tea) per day. I feel much more energetic probably because I'm not waking up with caffeine cravings at 2 a.m.

Dagmar

Thinking of JayZeeJay this morning, and the relief at having completed a big project, like a wedding, the buoyancy afterward, the rebound in one's outlook on life and energy levels -- and then, after a while, maybe how anticlimactic it feels, too.