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Maintainers Weekly Chat March 17 - 23

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Old 03-17-2014, 06:20 AM   #1
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Default Maintainers Weekly Chat March 17 - 23

Good Morning! Bill is away so I'm starting the thread this week. A lot of us have been struggling with things for the last while. Let's hope whatever we are struggling with starts to resolve soon.

Good day and good week all!

Dagmar
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Old 03-17-2014, 06:29 AM   #2
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That's an appealing plea for resolution to our struggling, Dagmar. I often observe that my struggles, once resolved, were closer to molehills than the mountains that I'd dreaded.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day - a big celebration in the Boston area. Unfortunately a big blow out drinking day for the zillion college students around.

Will have to read the Boston Globe this morning to learn all the names of those who walked and those who didn't walk in the Saint Patrick's Day Parade because Rainbow colors are not yet acceptable in parts of Boston. The negotiations got so sensitive that I'm not sure if Jen (CherryPie99)'s tutu would pass the censors, LOL.
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Old 03-17-2014, 06:31 AM   #3
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Default long post - sorry!

I got on the scale this morning. Funny how I'm relieved that I'm a bit under 140 lbs. A year ago that would have made me furious and guilty and embarrassed. I realize that beating myself up for gaining weight during a winter that just kicked my butt is silly, for me.

I am ready to start taking the winter weight off though. My hankering for salad is an indicator, as is how tight all of my spring pants are right now.

And DH is probably about to receive a major wake up call in the form of his health crisis. He finally called for his blood test results (from Jan.) and the doc wants to test his blood sugar again as it registered quite high in Jan. Chances are good it's type 2 diabetes. It's a manageable condition but I'm curious to see if it really IS a wake-up call. All the rest of DH's obese family has ignored all of their health conditions partially caused by their weight. I hope he will be different but I can only take care of my own health.

That sounds mean but it's just the fact. I try to be healthy and I succeed about 80% of the time. That's quite normal I've read and I'm reasonably happy with it. I'm never going to be perfect and neither is DH. I can lead by example but I can't guilt or nag or force him to do anything. There is room for improvement in both our lives and I hope he takes an active part in his health from now on.

Dagmar
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:32 AM   #4
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Good morning everyone!

Jen, I am very impressed by your running! I ran my first mile in 2005 but I've never managed more than 4 or managed to run a single mile in less than 10 minutes no matter how much I've trained. I've pretty much accepted that my body just is not built for running. At one point I started trying to work up to being able to do a 10k, but then I just ended up with plantar fasciitis. Once I get back to exercising I plan to start with couch to 5k again and at least get back to doing 5k's!

Dagmar, I hope your DH at least takes care of his diabetes if he ends up being diagnosed with it!

Bill, yes, Boston has a long Irish-American history so I'm sure St. Patrick's day is a big deal! To me it generally means two things: 1) the day that it's okay to plant peas outside, and 2) McD's sells shamrock shakes, not that I've had one since college.

It's cold again here today. I'm ready for winter to be done. I've been ready for winter to be done for a long time! Babies are doing well. They are starting to get bored really easily so we're taking them places a lot more. They haven't gotten sick yet but I'm sure they will soon -- yesterday we took them to a different library play area and there was a train table, so we put them standing at the table and both girls immediately put the trains in their mouths. Just babies being babies! They are sleeping very well now so I'm happy about that. Putting them on a clock schedule has been the best thing ever! Their days are now much more predictable and we have clear windows of time when it's pretty much guaranteed to be okay to have them out and about without running into mealtime or naptime.

I need to figure out how and when we're supposed to start transitioning them to less milk and more solids and what to do about their dairy issue. I think it might be okay to give them goat milk instead of cow milk if they still can't tolerate cow milk by the time we're ready to wean.
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Old 03-17-2014, 11:40 AM   #5
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Good morning and Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone!

Who was it that was having dog aggression problems? I think Andrea? Anyway, I want to recommend you find a trainer who employs the use of an e-collar and sign up for a session or two. We had our first lesson on Friday and I no longer have to keep Bogey on his leash while in the house. He doesn't chase the cats AT ALL and even my father-in-law who said he'd never bring his cats to our house again for fear Bogey would kill them brought them over yesterday and Bogey was a perfect gentleman with them. He sniffed them when they came up to him and just wagged his tail. He didn't even whine when they hissed at him. I can't tell you how the stress level has changed in both our home and office!
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Old 03-17-2014, 07:17 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alinnell View Post
Good morning and Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone!

Who was it that was having dog aggression problems? I think Andrea? Anyway, I want to recommend you find a trainer who employs the use of an e-collar and sign up for a session or two. We had our first lesson on Friday and I no longer have to keep Bogey on his leash while in the house. He doesn't chase the cats AT ALL and even my father-in-law who said he'd never bring his cats to our house again for fear Bogey would kill them brought them over yesterday and Bogey was a perfect gentleman with them. He sniffed them when they came up to him and just wagged his tail. He didn't even whine when they hissed at him. I can't tell you how the stress level has changed in both our home and office!
You need to be quite experienced with dogs to use the e collar properly. Andrea I think Loki is your first dog? The trainer will really have to work with you all to get your timing right with the collar. But whatever method used Loki needs to work with a trainer ASAP. Any dog that's gotten away with biting a human once tends to be more prone to doing it again. The biting without punishment gives them a whole lot of power.

Allison And since all of you are less stressed so I bogey and so he's calmer and less likely to expend nervous energy on chasing the cats. All good!
BTW the sheperd/lab mix tends to be a very smart dog.

Dagmar
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Old 03-17-2014, 09:44 PM   #7
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When a friend saw my tutu she was like " Everyone's going to think you're gay wearing that in a Shamrock Run!" I hadn't even though about the controversy lol.


Jessica - in a million years I wouldn't have thought I would have a natural running ability, but people tell me that I do... You would think that would make me happy but instead it makes me think "what if" and "if only"...

I NARROWLY avoided getting a shamrock shake today - I NEVER go to McDonald's but had to work in this morning in another office 30 minutes away. On my drive back I stopped there for a cup of coffee and ohhhhhh...... I used to LOVE Shamrock shakes!!! I may have cried a little

Tons of stress here - dh's 95 year old father fell and broke his wrist in 2 places a couple weeks ago. Since then he has started to go downhill mentally and it's become obvious that he may not be able to live alone anymore.


I love DH's sister but she is a classic example of a little knowledge being a very dangerous thing. She works as a SITTER at the local hospital and this has apparently led to her knowing EVERYTHING about all medical conditions and exactly what should be done. DH is so upset about everything... and as a in-law, it's hard for me to know my place....
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Old 03-17-2014, 10:17 PM   #8
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Hi, Jen. Just wanted to pop in to add a thought. I've had elderly friends break bones and then "go mentally downhill," but what it really turned out to be was pain meds. Older people just can't handle them as well, and the meds build up. Before anyone decides your dh's father is mentally incompetent, see how he does without any pain meds--assuming he's had them. And look into the other meds he's taking.
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Old 03-18-2014, 06:24 AM   #9
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Jen re your father-in-law. Your DH should make sure all of his father's paperwork is in order - will, POA, and whatever else is needed in the USA. He should have it readily at hand too. I'm sorry but I'm being blunt as I went through the sudden death of a parent without a will or any paperwork ready (mom) and the drawn out death of a parent who only had what I forced him to get (dad). He was fortunate that a family connection was able to get him into a good nursing home other wise he would have spent his last year in a sh*thole.

If you father-in-law hasn't made burial arrangements this is also a necessary time to discuss them. It's one of the hardest things for a child to discuss with a very elderly parent (95!) but better he has some input and your DH starts preparing for this event.

Dagmar
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Old 03-18-2014, 06:36 AM   #10
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Sending supportive thoughts, Jen, as you face the reality of the situation and the flood of emotions that comes with it.
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Old 03-18-2014, 09:27 AM   #11
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Thanks everyone. DH is extremely close to his father. We intentionally bought a house 1/4 mile from him years ago and DH goes down and sees him every day and takes him in once a week to shop. If we hadn't moved so close I think Dad would have had to move out of his own house years ago. Since the broken wrist DH has been down twice per day and has been cooking him meals, cleaning up - it has been extraordinarily stressful for him. I think both he and his sister are in denial about how bad he has gotten. DH went down to see him on Sunday and he was all dressed and sitting there waiting for sister to get there to take him to his appointment - which was on Monday.

Jayell, I am aware of the elderly and medication issues - unfortunately he is not on any pain meds and the only new medicine that has been introduced was 10 days of antibiotics for an ingrown toenail so I don't think that is it.

Dagmar - DH's father is - or was - UBER organized. He has had a burial plot since DH was about 5 years old. He has an up to date will, executor, etc. etc. - at least we won't have to worry about that.

DH will be spending most of the day with him today taking him shopping and to an MD appointment - I will be anxious to hear how it goes...
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Old 03-18-2014, 11:19 AM   #12
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Dagmar~you are correct that learning to use an e collar is hard. But just his wearing it has calmed him down immensely. Last night we went out to dinner for my birthday and I put both dogs in my bedroom. As we were driving home I thought to myself "I didn't check under the bed for cats before I put the dogs in there." Yep, Ringo (the most reactive of my cats) was under the bed. Totally unscathed. And our office feral cat is no longer afraid of Bogey--still cautious, but that's fine.

Sorry about your FIL, Jen. A note about a burial plot: when my Mom died, she had her plot next to her mother and father (she had all the paperwork from when she was a child). She wanted to be cremated and then interred next to them. Instead my Dad opted for burial at sea (a VA benefit) which was cool as they send you a DVD of the whole ceremony. The reason my Mom couldn't be buried with her parents was that the cost of it all. We're talking thousands of dollars to transport her ashes and then digging and all. Even though it was my Mom's last wishes to be buried there, my sister and Dad opted otherwise. And my Dad is just a bit younger than your FIL and we'd love for him to be in an assisted living center but he won't budge.
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Old 03-18-2014, 04:24 PM   #13
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The older folks get the more they seem determined to stay at home. I can understand that but at a certain point it becomes impossible and they are a danger to themselves.

My godfather is the exception to this. He downsized from a two storey house after his wife died and he began experienced dizzy spells from a heart condition. He enjoyed his apartment for two years but now has moved into an assisted living situation as he's fainted twice, resulting in injuries with a lot of facial bleeding, and had no one to check on him. He still has an apartment (smaller) but he has help with housekeeping and cooking and a social centre he can go to when he wants company. Sensible!

I am looking forward to having other people cook, clean, launder, and do whatever they can for me. I am going to be shameless in my requests for assistance when I get old.
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Old 03-18-2014, 10:37 PM   #14
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Really interesting conversations here.

First of all, this: "I started trying to work up to being able to do a 10k, but then I just ended up with plantar fasciitis" is priceless. LMAO in sympathy. I too s*ck at running. It's a joke in my family that the only "runner's high" I ever get is the euphoria I feel when the run is finally over.

Next, I had to google "e collar." We have our first dog trainer session on Thursday, and I will definitely ask her what she thinks of them, and if she uses them. The trainer comes highly recommended by the behavioral Vet I consulted last fall about Loki's resource guarding, so I'm optimistic that she can help us make him more consistently calm and friendly (especially around children and large burly men).

Finally, Jen, I am a geriatric neurologist- my entire patient population consists of people like your father-in-law. Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions. But I echo what Dagmar wrote: "The older folks get the more they seem determined to stay at home." At 95, even if his mental acuity is perfect he really shouldn't live alone because of physical limitations. There are social workers through community organizations (e.g., in my area there is a "Tri-County Office on Aging) that may be able to help him come to terms with a more supervised (assisted living) setting- sometimes it's easier to accept it when it comes from a neutral 3rd party instead of family.
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Old 03-19-2014, 06:29 AM   #15
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Andrea I'm at your comment about "runner's high" - I understand completely. I too "suck" at running. I was a good recreational jogger though - did 6K 5 mornings a week with my large dog. Took us about 45 minutes every morning.

I ran along the boardwalk while she ran at the water's edge and in the park. We saw some glorious sunrises and had beautiful scenery. I was able to shut off my brain's protests at running and let my body take over by the end of the first K. My body enjoyed trotting along and my brain was then free to problem-solve - mostly work problems of how to translate a designer's vision into something that a press could print.

The good old days. Can't let a dog run free down there now. And my body will no longer tolerate jogging. I've tried several times and I always pull something, even with stretching and warmup before I start.

I still enjoy walking the boardwalk at a brisk pace with one dog. The poodle and I do that 3X per week.

Good hump day all!

Dagmar

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