Hi guys - just needed to "talk" here for a minute. I got into work this morning and found out that one of my client - who was schedule to graduate in 2 weeks - died of a heroin overdose last night.
I have been just devastated over this - he has been clean for so long and appeared to have his life in order and now he is gone.
I feel like a complete failure - like I should have been able to say/know/do something for him.
I just got off the phone with his mother who was completely blind-sided like the rest of us and she is looking for answers which of course I have none....
Jen
Jen, this is not your fault.You did your best. He is responsible for his actions. So sorry for his Mom, It is not her fault either.
Jen, both JayEll and Dagmar's posts trump anything I could offer. Print and re-read as necessary.
Dagmar, I totally get the appeal of candy and fast-energy. Maybe it would help if you think of your day as a workout (it is!) and consider the desire for candy more as a need for refueling. Do you like/love fruit, or is it just a necessary evil? I find oatmeal with a little honey or maple syrup pretty energizing. I'm thinking your body is screaming for carbs after a rough day, but maybe the better strategy would be to try to substitute some foods that could provide more in terms of nutrition along with the sugars. Might take some trial and error to find something that you would look forward to as much as candy, but if you can find the right food or foods, the good feeling you get from it might trump the candy craving. The emotional hunger ... not near as easy to resolve.
Last edited by ICUwishing; 02-06-2014 at 08:38 AM.
Another day OP and my weight is still 1 pound up from Sunday's low. I bit the bullet and entered it in MFP to be accountable. I think it was the cheese. Yesterday I got home and needed a snack. A bite of shredded cheddar was just not enough so I took a whole slice and sat down to read my book (reading The Goldfinch -- very good!). Dinner and the rest of the day was OP. Hoping that this last few ounces (or is it a pound) are gone by Sunday.
Meanwhile my adoption coordinator is arranging a meet & greet with two dogs this weekend!
Dagmar, I agree with Becky. Maybe you need carbs after a long day, and with the weather being so cold and nasty I would expect that something hot might be more satisfying then cold fruit. Oatmeal, soup that has some starch in it (potatoes or pasta or something, maybe toss in the crock pot in the morning), even hot cocoa made with milk. Or try cooking your fruit!
Just checking in and thanking everyone for all your support and thoughts.
This was definitely not an "accidental" use - there were 3 bottles of urine found with him making me guess he peed before he used and was saving that to use in case he was drug tested.
I know that after the initial shock and my guilt starts to abate, I will be very very angry at him - I might be trying to avoid that, too.
These are the days when I wonder why I do this job!!
Allison-- what is Goldfinch about? I am going to my first book club meeting on Sunday-- only halfway through Aleph now (yuck)... we are supposed to bring suggestions for our next book and I want a GOOD one! Any other suggestions?
It's a "potluck" from 2-4 on Sunday. I've not been before so I'm not sure how heavy everyone eats. I, for one, won't be. Do you all think bringing fruit is adequate or do I need to make something more homemade?
Allison-- what is Goldfinch about? I am going to my first book club meeting on Sunday-- only halfway through Aleph now (yuck)... we are supposed to bring suggestions for our next book and I want a GOOD one! Any other suggestions?
It's a "potluck" from 2-4 on Sunday. I've not been before so I'm not sure how heavy everyone eats. I, for one, won't be. Do you all think bringing fruit is adequate or do I need to make something more homemade?
I'm only partway into The Goldfinch but it is a modern day coming of age story (in a nutshell). It's long--725 pages. But the reviews are good and it's still in the top 10 on the LA Times best seller list. It starts with a young adult holed up in a hotel in Denmark where he may or may not have done something wrong but he isn't sure as he can't read the Danish news. Then a backflash to his growing up in NYC when his mother is tragically killed leaving him all alone. That's where I am now. It also has a lot to do with the art world.
She writes quite beautifully which I like although some people say she's too verbose and "writes two sentences when one will do." They say the last 100 pages are quite exciting.
Last Thursday I had a little surgery, it was because my veins are so tiny it was difficult to do an IV for Chemo so IV is out and Port is in, A Port is implanted under your skin and for Chemo they go through your chest through the port and IV is not used at all. I was kind of nervous but it went OK except for some soreness.
PS My oncologist is pleased with my progress.
bargoo~I think getting a port installed is often best as you don't have to endure all the endless pricks to find a vein. My sister had to have a port installed once when she was on months-on-end IV antibiotics to try and rid her of a nasty foot infection (she's diabetic). It worked, she got the port removed, and the infection returned and she then opted to have a couple toes amputated. She's fine now.
bargoo~I think getting a port installed is often best as you don't have to endure all the endless pricks to find a vein. My sister had to have a port installed once when she was on months-on-end IV antibiotics to try and rid her of a nasty foot infection (she's diabetic). It worked, she got the port removed, and the infection returned and she then opted to have a couple toes amputated. She's fine now.
Thank s for the iinformation..I am glad your sister is doing ok. Is this the sister who had the flu ?
PS I had the cutest male nurse.
Thank s for the iinformation..I am glad your sister is doing ok. Is this the sister who had the flu ?
PS I had the cutest male nurse.
You're funny Bargoo! Thanks for the update... glad you're doing well. My mom also had a port.
My MIL had her shoulder surgery yesterday. Once the doctor got in there and realized how bad her breaks were he did a total shoulder replacement. She is in the hospital and I'm not sure when she'll be out. Also not sure what her recovery will be.
Glad to hear from you, Bargoo. Also glad that you got a good nurse for your procedure. I think of you often, glad you are faring well and the oncologist is pleased.
You're funny Bargoo! Thanks for the update... glad you're doing well. My mom also had a port.
My MIL had her shoulder surgery yesterday. Once the doctor got in there and realized how bad her breaks were he did a total shoulder replacement. She is in the hospital and I'm not sure when she'll be out. Also not sure what her recovery will be.
. I had a broken shoulder, prior to surgery , had a long talk the surgeon he said surgery MAY help with movement and surgery MAY help with pain. I didn't think those odds were good enough so I went for physical therapy only. I don't have full use of my arm but enough to get by.
Good luck for your MIL,
- gating the babies instead of the dog.
I think of you often, glad you are faring well and the oncologist is pleased.
