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Maintainers Weekly Chat August 26 - September 1

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Old 08-31-2013, 11:53 AM   #61
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Dagmar, hang in there.

In my experience, these are the hardest kinds of relationships to grieve.

The rituals after death of making the arrangements are helpful. Something about having a to-do list ...
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:13 PM   #62
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Dagmar, condolances to you, I am sure that you are feeling many emotions right now, whatever you feel is OK, you have done the best you could in dealing nwith a difficult situation.
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:22 PM   #63
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dagmar,
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:57 PM   #64
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Thinking of you, Dagmar, and standing close by you.
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Old 08-31-2013, 01:11 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saef View Post
Here's what it looks like. It's probably from around the 1840s. This is African crotch grain mahogany veneer, which has a feathery, waterfall pattern. The restorer has put a really high French polish on it. You can smell the shellac when you walk down the hallway toward the bedroom. In six months, after it cures, he'll come by and apply a beeswax coating to it and then polish that for me, and that woodgrain will look as deep as a riverbed.



Unfortunately, it's three-quarter size, as I said, and I will have to order a mattress for it. If anyone here ever buys an antique bed, try to get the mattress with it, or if you don't, obtain assurance that it will take a standard mattress.

For hundreds of years, people slept comfortably in what would now be considered a twin bed or three-quarter size bed. A full-size mattress was considered massive. Now everyone needs really big beds, queen size at least. I wonder sometimes if this is a little-remarked effect of the obesity epidemic, or is it just part of our need to supersize & take up more & more space, like with square footage of houses & SUVs & etc.

I like sleeping in this bed. I feel like a kitten in a cardboard box.
Your bed is beautiful.
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Old 08-31-2013, 03:10 PM   #66
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Hugs to you Dagmar. Wishing you strength and peace as you handle what is necessary.
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Old 08-31-2013, 03:35 PM   #67
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Dagmar - I am sending my thoughts to you during this incredibly difficult time. I also think that the difficult relationship you had with your father must make this grieving process even harder. You have the absolute right to feel however you want about his passing, and no one here will judge you for it!!

Saef - That bed is breathtakingly beautiful. My husband and I put an addition on our house in 2005 and put a king sized bed in there right away. Even though we are now both MUCH thinner, I have to confess that I like my space when I sleep and he feels like he is MILES away from me and I like that.

Just picked up my race number and timing chip - my Achilles feels pretty okay so I'm hoping for a good race tomorrow!

Jen
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Old 08-31-2013, 05:15 PM   #68
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Good luck with the race Jen!

Dagmar
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Old 08-31-2013, 06:36 PM   #69
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Hugs, Dagmar.
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Old 09-01-2013, 11:05 AM   #70
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I'm so sorry Dagmar.
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Old 09-01-2013, 11:24 AM   #71
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Hey, Dagmar, . You don't need to apologize for not feeling the "right" kind of grief. We've heard your stories about your dad and his treatment of you for a long time. If we can be of any help or support, let us know.

Jen, how did the race go?
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Old 09-01-2013, 02:53 PM   #72
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Back from the race - by FAR the biggest race that I have ever been in. 323 people ran the 1/2 marathon and 318 ran the 18.12 miles. I still think of myself as a slow runner and therefore lined up wayyyy too far back.

I spent the first 2 miles trying to weave my way around people and my times were painfully slow.

It was beautifully sunny and about 70 degrees the whole time - a really nice course.

Came in an official "gun" time of 1:45:38. That placed me 41st overall - meh . I did take 1st place in my age group.

Here I am getting the age group award...

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Old 09-01-2013, 04:22 PM   #73
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Jen, that's awesome!!!!!

I have a couple of race questions for you. I will be doing my first half next month but am planning on walking/running so I know I'll be slow! Is it ok to have music for the race? Also, when you carb load, is that the night before? I rarely eat carbs now, but I'm thinking it would be smart.

An unrelated exercise question for anyone. I've noticed that when I workout and start sweating, I'm emitting an odor that smells like my vitamins/supplements. Does anyone else experience that? I don't notice it in bikram though when I'm pouring sweat. I was self conscious in Zumba this morning but I have no idea whether or not my neighbors could smell it.

I'm having a weird weekend emotionally. I think I'm lonely. When dh started the China job in April, I was busy with the end of school and then dd was home for the summer. Now everyone is gone. I should have planned something with a friend but I always feel like everyone is busy with their families so I don't ask. I am keeping myself busy though. I'm debating going solo to sushi tonight and sitting at the sushi bar.... Dh comes home in a week and he will be home for a few weeks.
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Old 09-01-2013, 04:56 PM   #74
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Michele There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I find being alone great - sometimes. But too much of it and loneliness sets in. Then DH walks in and everything is fine.

Your DH is away a lot. I think it must get very lonely for you sometimes. Nothing wrong with going to a restaurant solo - I do it while on vacation. I take along something to read though because you never know how slow service will be.

We are off to make the final arrangements for my dad's body. There were problems getting him picked up from the hospital and it took me 4 phone calls yesterday to sort things out. They had another person lined up for his bed and the nurse kept calling and telling me to hurry things up. I am taking along a set of clothes for him to be cremated in - including underwear and socks. Somehow it will make the indignity of yesterday a little better for me.

My dad insisted on no funeral, service, or any such "expensive nonsense". Now my cousin is mad that I'm not having some sort of reception. So he's giving one at his house. I have a very polite thank you speech I'm going to give him. My dad is dead. What happens after that isn't really all that important except as comfort for the living. I'm not going to argue with anyone. I'll leave that to DH - just kidding!

He's been a tremendous help with both the new house and with this. He's driving me all over as he doesn't want me to be distracted and get into an accident.

Dagmar
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Old 09-01-2013, 05:16 PM   #75
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My dad didn't want anything either. We had him cremated per his wishes and buried with my moms casket. They are in the veterans cemetery since he was a World War 2 veteran. He had no family left so after he was officially buried, my family of four went out to eat and shared memories of him. That was it.

More hugs to you Dagmar. I think your relationship with your dad has many similarities to mine with my dad. I totally understand your feelings.

Thank you for your kind words to me too.
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