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resetting or making excuses?

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Old 04-22-2013, 03:16 PM   #1
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Default resetting or making excuses?

I know this is not a new topic around here and I'm not the first maintainer to hit this wall. So I reached goal in June 2008 with weight loss stopping at 135. I was more surprised than anyone. My original goal was 170, the lowest weight I'd ever maintained as an adult, but when I kept losing I decided to just see where my body landed. For the next 4 years I maintained pretty easily with a winter 10+ that I managed to get off by summer each year. Then last year my spouse was sick for months and died unexpectedly. I was alright for awhile then slowly started to gain over the winter. I'm up around 160 now. the thing is I've got the emotional stuff under control. I'm actually pretty happy these days. I'm wearing a size 10, a size I would have been thrilled to wear before the weight loss. I'm working on improving my fitness level again. I eat pretty well, mostly whole, local, and organic; avoid sugars and processed carbs, no junk. I'm just not getting back into the weight loss mode to get these extra lbs off and the problem is I'm not sure I should. I'm not entirely unhappy at this weight and I kind of like being able to eat without worrying quite so much. Friends and family actually think I look better. But I struggle knowing I could be thinner, that I could have less stress on my joints.

I know I will figure this out eventually but I'm wondering what others have done in this situation? Am I just making excuses or could this be a good place for me to be right now?
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:21 PM   #2
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Cyndi,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your spouse.
You are doing amazingly well in my opinion. I doubt I would be doing as well as you if I were in your shoes. It sounds like if you're in a good place health wise and emotionally, you shouldn't worry about losing. If, at some point down the road you decide you want to lose a little, then you could focus on it. It just doesn't sound important now in the grand scheme of things.
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Old 04-22-2013, 03:46 PM   #3
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I'm asking myself similar questions right now. I'm currently at about 142, wear a 6-8. Considering I was wearing a 16-18 when I started to lose weight, this is a size I used to dream about. I had gotten down to a comfortable 4 with some 2s for a while. While I'd like to be back down to the 4-6, I like being able to eat a little more than I did then. Is it an excuse to stay here? I'm also getting back into exercise and eating better again - I didn't have the same kind of stressors as you, but did have some things that put me into an out of control emotional tail spin. I'm getting my balance back and my exercise, but my food is staying at a higher calorie level than it used to. And I wonder if I should just let that happen. I'm trying to decide if maybe I'm just happy here and need to rest for a bit.

You have had such a hard year, and I'm so impressed at the way that you have picked back up and survived it. Could be that you need to just rest there for a bit, as well.
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:26 PM   #4
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Cyndi., I am sorry about the loss of your spouse. I changed my goal weight several times before I settled where I am now.
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:57 PM   #5
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First, I'm really sorry for your loss. You seem like such a strong person!

I think we all weigh the benefits vs. sacrifices/risks of any given decision in life, even if we don't do so consciously. We do this with jobs, when we buy cars, when we decide where to live, and with other decisions in life. And the thing is, we change. So, I might love my job now, but ten years from now, I may decide that the sacrifices I make for it at that time are not worth the benefits; if that happens, I'll likely look for another job. A change in circumstance or mindset often causes a us to make a life change. Why should weight loss goals be any different? Perhaps when you were losing weight, it was sort of a challenge or a curiosity to see how low you would get if you kept on going. Then, the challenge was to stay that low. Now, though, it seems like you're at a point in your life where your mindset is different. To use a cliche, you've "been there, done that" and you know what it's like to be 135 and what you have to do to stay there. Only now, you've decided that you may not want to make the sacrifices required to stay that low----and what's wrong with that? Nothing. You've made a conscious life choice, and if you're comfortable with it, who can say you're wrong? I think those of us who have been overweight in the past often don't trust ourselves enough to decide whether we're being honest with ourselves or just making excuses. Also, I think we sometimes feel as if we need to prove to the world that we can keep off ALL the weight we lost; we think that others might be saying, "I knew she would gain it back." But your reasons don't sound like "excuses" to me. They seem perfectly logical, and the only way you'll be sure that you are not just making excuses is to give it a go. Besides, you'll know when you're just "making excuses" if your eating gets out of control and you start gaining to the point of discomfort.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:16 PM   #6
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What Lin43 said.

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