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Heading towards 10th year of maintenance and it's hard every day

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Old 04-15-2013, 12:37 PM   #1
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Default Heading towards 10th year of maintenance and it's hard every day

I say 10, because I don't count my 2 pregnancies/losses, obviously at 120ish lbs, I had to gain a bit.

But I'm in year 9, heading into year 10, and it's hard every day.

I was (am) an alcoholic - and yet quitting drinking is easier than this. At least I don't have to touch alcohol, but I have to eat every day.

My figure looks so effortless to others but really, every single meal requires thought, planning, or at least a mini-analysis in my head. It sucks. It didn't use to be this way (when I was normally slim in high school without even thinking about it), but once I gained the freshman 15 (and more!!!), it's been a battle every since.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I guess just wondering if there are any other long-term maintainers who can relate.

PS to the short-term maintainers- even though I rant, believe me, it's better than the alternative of when I was winded walking up 10 steps!!!
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Start: 145lbs around December 2012(*Baby born November 2012)
Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
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Long-term goal: 120-125lbs
Losing while nursing... slow and steady
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Old 04-15-2013, 12:44 PM   #2
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Congratulations on maintaining for 9 almost 10 years. That is remarkable ! I have not had as long maintaining as you, but find that is something I have to think about most of the time. My meals are well planned, it does get tiresome at times but I would rather do some planning than have to wear xlarge clothing again.
Excellent job on not drinking, congratulations.
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Old 04-15-2013, 02:39 PM   #3
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Congratulations on maintaining so well for so long. Though I've not been maintaining as long as you, it is a constant struggle and battle. Sometimes I want to give up. Yet, you are right-- others don't see that. They think I'm maintaining easily. They don't see the 10 pounds I've gained that torment me and my mind. Yesterday I went into Cheesecake Factory with my dd because she wanted a piece (she was home from college for the weekend)-- she will need to start watching her weight but I wasn't about to say that-- I hope I've modeled well enough so she knows what to do. While we were looking at the display (and I was trying not to drool-- seriously-- I'm drooling now just thinking about it)-- everyone that was waiting for tables was telling us their favorite types there-- I wanted to yell out-- IT'S NOT FOR ME! I would never eat this! How can you all eat this?! Some of the people were thin, some a little heavy.... normal.... I never feel "normal". It is a battle, but as bargoo says-- I'd much rather be happier with myself in the mirror, in my clothes, and having more energy than I did when I was obese. That is why I rely so heavily on 3FC's. It keeps me sane (somewhat). Let's me vent. Helps to keep me motivated.... Recently, I've started following a lot of fitness/inspirational people on instagram (that and dogs and cats!)-- it always helps me-- though it can be depressing to see bodies that I know I'll never have no matter what.....
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:50 PM   #4
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I'm not even at 1 year yet and I'm 26 and have had no babies, but I had a couple questions -

How many years of maintenance did it take for you to start feeling like it was hard? Was it just always a struggle?

What is the extent of everyone's planning? Obviously a single person with hours and hours of free time every day has more time to cook and therefore doesn't need to make a menu for the week on Sunday or Monday.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:53 PM   #5
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Just wanted to say congratulations!! You have done amazing things with your life and inspire so many of us every day!!
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:02 PM   #6
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Big, big congratulations to you!!

sacha, I always read what you have to say, and have admired your tiny size I know you're just a little north of me, so it's easier to realize you're a real person dealing with everything we all do, yet you have done it!

You have 'chosen your hard' and you can always, always vent or talk about how difficult it is with your 3FC sistahs (and bros)
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:14 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by traveling michele View Post
everyone that was waiting for tables was telling us their favorite types there-- I wanted to yell out-- IT'S NOT FOR ME! I would never eat this! How can you all eat this?!
Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freelancemomma View Post
Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance
I am currently trying to take off 10 pounds that I gained, otherwise I might not be as restrictive. Considering the slices of cheesecake there are mostly over 1,000 calories each, they aren't in my budget at the moment. I gain weight very very easily so it will be a long while before I allow such indulgences (and then it will likely be a few bites-- not a whole piece).
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:30 AM   #9
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Wow, thank you for all the lovely responses!!! I will try and respond to each one of you, just gotta wrangle these two little guys demanding attention 24/7. Give me time!
__________________

Start: 145lbs around December 2012(*Baby born November 2012)
Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
Mini-goal 4: 125lbs
Long-term goal: 120-125lbs
Losing while nursing... slow and steady
Maintainer 2004-2009 & 2 babies & now losing from Nov 2012 - present

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Old 04-16-2013, 06:38 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bargoo View Post
Congratulations on maintaining for 9 almost 10 years. That is remarkable ! I have not had as long maintaining as you, but find that is something I have to think about most of the time. My meals are well planned, it does get tiresome at times but I would rather do some planning than have to wear xlarge clothing again.
Excellent job on not drinking, congratulations.
Thanks Bargoo. My last drink was summer 2009, it was an easier decision because I got pregnant and said I was done. It's been 4 years. It's so much easier to turn down alcohol - after all, I am nursing a baby, it's easy to say no. I live in Quebec, and the idea of not drinking is quite shocking to most, I'm not sure how I will navigate this once my youngest weans.

You're right, it is tiresome, but it's the alternative that is worse right??


Quote:
Originally Posted by traveling michele View Post
Congratulations on maintaining so well for so long. Though I've not been maintaining as long as you, it is a constant struggle and battle. Sometimes I want to give up. Yet, you are right-- others don't see that. They think I'm maintaining easily. They don't see the 10 pounds I've gained that torment me and my mind. Yesterday I went into Cheesecake Factory with my dd because she wanted a piece (she was home from college for the weekend)-- she will need to start watching her weight but I wasn't about to say that-- I hope I've modeled well enough so she knows what to do. While we were looking at the display (and I was trying not to drool-- seriously-- I'm drooling now just thinking about it)-- everyone that was waiting for tables was telling us their favorite types there-- I wanted to yell out-- IT'S NOT FOR ME! I would never eat this! How can you all eat this?! Some of the people were thin, some a little heavy.... normal.... I never feel "normal". It is a battle, but as bargoo says-- I'd much rather be happier with myself in the mirror, in my clothes, and having more energy than I did when I was obese. That is why I rely so heavily on 3FC's. It keeps me sane (somewhat). Let's me vent. Helps to keep me motivated.... Recently, I've started following a lot of fitness/inspirational people on instagram (that and dogs and cats!)-- it always helps me-- though it can be depressing to see bodies that I know I'll never have no matter what.....
It's amazing what goes on behind the scenes eh? That's what I love about 3FC.

Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
I'm not even at 1 year yet and I'm 26 and have had no babies, but I had a couple questions -

How many years of maintenance did it take for you to start feeling like it was hard? Was it just always a struggle?

What is the extent of everyone's planning? Obviously a single person with hours and hours of free time every day has more time to cook and therefore doesn't need to make a menu for the week on Sunday or Monday.
It was easy from 2004-2009 - when I got pregnant with my 1st baby, I went absolutely nuts with eating because I had been "on plan" for 5 years straight. Gained 40lbs (and only 9 of it was a baby). Excused myself thinking since weight loss was easy the 1st time (at age 20) that it would be easy again. I was a busy college student, no time to think about food. Being a stay at home mom, sitting around bored in a kitchen all day? No time to work out??? Oh boy. Plus, I got into terrible eating habits again. Thin girl trapped in a growing girl's body I guess.

For planning, I just guesstimate for dinners (which is not too hard after 10 years) and count for everything else. 2 kids under 3 means restaurants are easily avoidable, the only ones we go to, are chains with menus published. No poor soul in a nice restaurant should suffer my annoying toddler LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by elvislover324 View Post
Just wanted to say congratulations!! You have done amazing things with your life and inspire so many of us every day!!
Thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by VermontMom View Post
Big, big congratulations to you!!

sacha, I always read what you have to say, and have admired your tiny size I know you're just a little north of me, so it's easier to realize you're a real person dealing with everything we all do, yet you have done it!

You have 'chosen your hard' and you can always, always vent or talk about how difficult it is with your 3FC sistahs (and bros)
True, I'm only 20 minutes from the border Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by freelancemomma View Post
Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance
I've found that over time, over-restriction causes freak outs. I like substitutes - I cannot control myself with a bag of Lays, so I have popcorn with the salt and vinegar shakers! Besides I MUST learn this, because my husband and 2 kids do not adhere to my plan! My kids aren't fed junk, but full fat cheddar is still on their menu. That one is a killer!
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Start: 145lbs around December 2012(*Baby born November 2012)
Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
Mini-goal 4: 125lbs
Long-term goal: 120-125lbs
Losing while nursing... slow and steady
Maintainer 2004-2009 & 2 babies & now losing from Nov 2012 - present


Last edited by sacha : 04-16-2013 at 06:40 AM.
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Old 04-16-2013, 06:59 AM   #11
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Sacha Congrats! re turning down alcohol - I find it easier to walk around with a glass of pop or a beer bottle in my hand I don't drink it but it looks like I'm drinking. Most people will not ask if you have one in your hand.

I have been sober for almost 20 years and you're right - it's easier than food 'cause it's not something you HAVE to have.

Dagmar
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Old 04-16-2013, 07:27 AM   #12
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Congratulations!
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:28 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freelancemomma View Post
Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance
It depends on the person. For some people, it might not be. Like OP said, she has found dealing with her alcoholism easier because she can completely avoid alcohol. One certainly wouldn't ask a recovering alcoholic why having an occasional drink is not compatible with their recovery from alcoholism. The same could be said for certain people who have issues with sugar. There are people, like yourself, who can eat just that one, occasional slice and not trigger a sugar binge. For other people who have problems with sugar, and who weened themselves off of it, having a slice of cheesecake might like the OP deciding to have a drink.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:42 AM   #14
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Sasha, CONGRATS on being SOBER & Congrats on 10 years!!! That is AWESOME!
You ROCK girl & congrats on your new babee too!
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:00 AM   #15
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Congratulations on your years of maintenance!! Quite an accomplishment!
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