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This maintenance roller coaster

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Old 02-16-2013, 10:15 PM   #1
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Default This maintenance roller coaster

Hello, all! I was an active 3FCer for quite a while, but after transitioning to maintenance in 2011 I needed to focus on other things, and I've been gone from the boards for a little over a year. I peek in from time to time and it's been good to see some familiar, friendly names around.

Here's my maintenance lowdown - the good, bad, and ugly.

Good:
- I've been very happy with my level of fitness. Last year I trained for and completed a half marathon, 1.5 years after starting running. Yay! I exercise 5-6 days a week and love my muscles.
- I love healthy, whole foods. Most days I would rather have a salad with lean protein than anything else. (MOST days.)
- I started seeing a great guy last spring and things are going really well.

Bad:
- While in weight loss mode my only "special occasions" were my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Immediately after going into maintenance, I loosened this just slightly because I was convinced I would somehow wake up the next morning back at 200 pounds. When that didn't happen, my definition of special occasion has - unintentionally and unconsciously - slowly loosened until that phrase is meaningless. I can make myself believe that a day that ends in "y" is a special occasion.
- Weekends with a boyfriend (I wasn't in a relationship while I was losing) are HARD. I want to eat what my 5'11", 200+ guy can eat. Yeah, no.
- Alcohol is evil to my diet. After one beer or wine I completely disregard that food has calories.

Ugly:
I, like many around here, have struggled with binging behaviors while in maintenance. This was an occasional problem in the past, pre-weight loss, but now it's almost a weekly/monthly struggle. I know my emotional triggers and food triggers (sugar) but knowing my triggers doesn't always help me not to succumb to them.

So, I'm back. I need the accountability, the support, and the occasional, well-deserved, smack upside the head. You wonderful people are always good for that.

I'd like to lose 10 pounds and get back to 120, but anything under 125 would be really amazing. It's crazy how 5 pounds can make such a difference to the way my body feels . . . and my pants.

My plan:
- Eliminate alcohol period, while in weight loss mode.
- My trigger foods have already been tossed and the cabinets are bare, so standing firm not to buy them.
- Eric, the BF, also wants to lose some weight. It's sensitive for both of us but I want to talk this over with him and make sure we're on the same page as far as food when we're together/out to eat.
- Recognize true special occasions. Right now, the next one I can think of is a friend's wedding in Oregon in late March.
- Check in regularly here and in my journal. I've been keeping up with my calorie tracker but need to process my thoughts and feelings more.

OK, I think that's it for now. Thanks for letting me show up again, everyone. I hope that I'll be able to contribute around here - I've missed my 3FC people!
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Old 02-16-2013, 11:40 PM   #2
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I think I remember you. Welcome back!
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Old 02-17-2013, 12:19 AM   #3
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Welcome back. It is funny how 5 lbs make such a difference at 130 I thought 125 would definitely not change much, but at 125 I see a whole lot of changes I have decided on 122 now, just to have the extra pounds for those " special occasions" Hope to not get out of hand, I think my jeans will always let me know though, unless I revert back to wearing comfortable, plenty of room left for seconds sweat pants. Best of luck
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:10 AM   #4
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Jen Maintenance is a lifelong effort. I think we are never really "gone' from 3FC. Sometimes we don't need to participate every day or once a month or whatever but then we need to come back. So welcome back!

It sounds like you already have a great plan. Having your BF on board will probably make a big difference. One of my biggest struggles is with my DH, who is NOT on board, though he keeps saying he is.

Looking forward to seeing your posts again.

Dagmar
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Old 02-17-2013, 08:15 AM   #5
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JenMusic, welcome to maintainers.Dagmar said it right maintenance is a lifelong effort. I have to work at it. My feeling any effort I have to make is worth it as I hope never to have to wear clothing sizes that start with X again.
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Old 02-17-2013, 01:28 PM   #6
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Welcome back. I remember you well. Glad there are so many wonderful things in your life. You are smart to refocus when you "only" want to lose a little, not a lot.
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Old 02-17-2013, 01:50 PM   #7
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Welcome back! Sounds like your life has been going pretty well.

Someone said maintenance is like dieting on a short leash--or something like that. It is "funny" how a few pounds can make a difference even if we started out really heavy. I feel better when I'm 4 lbs. lighter than I am now, but if I mention that, people look at me strangely and tell me I'm thin enough.

Regarding binges, I'm reading Brain Over Binge, which is an interesting read. For me, it seems to be helpful.

You have a good plan to get back on track--go for it!
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Old 02-17-2013, 05:07 PM   #8
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Completely agree with a few pounds making a difference when you're close to goal. I am about 4-5 pounds above my goal weight of 129.5-130 (due to too much bingeing behavior in the last month), and I see a HUGE difference in the way my tummy looks and how my clothes fit. My blazers are too tight, whereas at 129.5, they were a little big.

Welcome back! You're on the right track and sounds like you have a good plan and are committed and determined!!!
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:57 PM   #9
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Hi Jen! I was thinking about you the other day when I was in Central Park - you wrote about running there. Glad you are seeing someone and happy with your life in general.

I'm sorry binges have become part of your routine - I was there for several months and regained some and felt awful about it constantly - have you considered the possibility of dropping the "special occasions" rules and loosening the leash, taking focus away from losing weight, and never allowing yourself to feel deprived or get hungry? I really think a satisfied person who feels she can eat whatever she wants is less likely to binge.
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:47 PM   #10
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Thanks for the warm welcome back!

Chubbiegurl - Yes, my jeans have most definitely let me know. I have 2 sizes and have been in the higher size most of the last 3-4 months.

Mudpie - I can't imagine trying to do this without the support factor. Especially when you're trying to eat together - I never understood how difficult that would be before now. You get my respect for that!

Sheila53 - I've read a few books on binging but not Brain over Binge. I'll have to check it out. Thanks!

Krampus - Hey! Ah, yes, my New York trips. Unfortunately my friend with the great apartment on the UWS has now moved to Virginia. I remember that you had some binge struggle and I'm so glad that you have gotten beyond them! I feel like I've gone back and forth and tried so many different things. Sigh. Part of the issue is that I have no concept of stopping eating once I start. I'm a clean plate club girl, and always have been. So, when I tried it, Geneen Roth type intuitive eating was almost torture for me.

Also, I have to say that I (physically) feel like CRAP when I eat sugar now, even in moderation. Sluggish and icky and my joints ache. So there's that motivation as well.

Sometimes I wonder if I just can't let go about this, mentally. That the leap to "taking focus away from losing weight," like you said, is something I'm not capable of. I think it's awesome advice but it scares me to death.

I'm going to start posting over in the maintenance accountability thread, if I can find it.
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Old 02-18-2013, 10:52 PM   #11
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Hey there, Jen! I think about you often, as one of my work commute routes takes me through the side of campus to get to the new road. I'm glad things are going well with the new boyfriend, and understand the slipping of special days, believe me.

Welcome back! We can give you all the support and occasional smack that you need. We all need them sometimes.

Great job on the half, which one did you do?
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:16 AM   #12
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Hey, Shannon! I think about you, too - every time I DON'T go to the Varsity.

I did the Atlanta Half on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone warned me that it was hilly and maybe not the best choice for my first half (actually, my first race!) but I figured any time I made would be a PR. It was really challenging but I'm so glad I did it. Still running but decided not to try to train for the Publix half in March to give myself a mental break from the time commitment.

You'd think the new road would have helped with campus traffic, but no - I'm still stuck behind thousands of undergrads every day. Oh, well.

Thanks for the encouragement!
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Old 02-19-2013, 12:47 PM   #13
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Oh yeah, the Atlanta Half is a tough track, great job! I've looked at it, but can't make that length work on Thanksgiving, I do the Gobble Job in Marietta that day so I can get home earlier. I ran the Publix Half in 2009 & 2010. That is a tough one, too. I just did the Locomotive Half this past weekend here in our part of town, part on the new road!, and it was a great course that I wish I could have enjoyed more. Check out the Locomotive Race Series - it is a progressive four race series all in our area, and the man who puts it on is awesome.

I've noticed the new road isn't getting as much drive as I would have expected, that is annoying! It is a great help to my commute.

I eat here at the V most every day - I have a lot of grilled chicken. LOL
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:38 PM   #14
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Ha! Believe it or not I *have to* go to the V (downtown) with a group. My game plan was the grilled chicken salad, no dressing. I mean, how bad can it bed?
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:49 PM   #15
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It isn't bad at all actually. If they make it the way they do here they will put a little shredded american cheese in a souffle cup, if they put it on it will be about 3/4 of a slice. The chicken will be about 2.5-3 ounces cooked, the salad will contain lettuce, tomato, cucumber and a spring mix. The chicken is cooked on a griddle with a little oil spray, but little added calorie. Ours that we get out here comes to about 135 when cooked. It isn't the most exciting salad - I eat mine without dressing also, and sprinkle in the ground red pepper that is on the table and toss in pickle and diced onion, which they can give you on the side at the register.
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