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Old 02-27-2013, 09:08 AM   #61
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Hey Megan, do you really know how the book club folks eat? I find that people often act as though a meal out was so different from their usual eating pattern - especially I see women do this - but do you really know how they eat otherwise?
No, I guess I don't. And I have no idea if "Scarlet at the BBQ-ing" has gone on or what. I think it's safer for my waistline to assume I just have no idea, and get out my measuring cups at home.

It's actually something I've thought about, though. In the way I will always see myself as "the fat girl" I keep myself compartmentalized even from my friends. I spend time with them, particularly on our book club trips, and then I go home and wonder what it must be like to be "normal" like them and not think about what I'm eating and how I'm exercising all the time. I don't actually dwell on these thoughts a whole lot. I've learned that they're just not productive and quickly discard them and go about my business. But it's that part of my brain that will always be "the fat girl" coupled with "the shy girl", perhaps a little "the teacher's daughter" and "the girl who spends all her time studying" thrown in, that is still there almost 15 years after I've lost the majority of my weight and close to as many years living away from my parents, the teachers, and learning some social skills. That mindset it hard to change.

To be fair to my friends, I assume that they don't think about what they're eating or how they're exercising. I really have no idea. Clearly this says more about me than them.

Scarlet at the Barbecue. I like that. See, I'm just way too straightforward a person most of the time in all aspects of life. I forget or am confused by people's games. Call me naive. I am flashing back to the few first dates I've been on, though. I think there was a similar thing going on. I'd try to eat what I thought was a "normal" meal and not be "piggy", then imagine I'd eaten too much. I guess I'm not immune to Scarlet Syndrome.
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Old 02-27-2013, 10:24 AM   #62
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While we don't know what others do food or exercise wise, I do see several co-workers around my age that are in phenomenal shape-- I see them grabbing a cookie or brownie daily-- they bemoan the fact that they haven't exercised in weeks or have only run once or whatever. I just shake my head. If I did that, I would be 200 plus pounds in a matter of months. To be fair, I have other co-workers that struggle with their weight, I know they workout, and I never see them reach for the crap. And I don't know what anyone does at home, except myself.

As for me, I'm back to 123 today and hoping I don't yo-yo back up again like I keep on doing. I'm wearing my skinny jeans to remind myself. Dh brought home amazing chocolates from Belgium and I have been allowing myself two small ones each night with him. I didn't tell him that I was watching the scale and if it went up I would stop eating them. Since it hasn't, I'm enjoying them immensely. The "old" me would have eaten way more than two daily and they would have been gone by now.
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Old 02-27-2013, 11:04 AM   #63
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Krampus, I NEED CLOSURE on what happened between you and the squishy frosted brownie.

This is how abnormal I can be: I've actually picked out bite-size pieces with my fingers, one by one, and thrown them away, so that the thing looks half-eaten the next time the person walks by, as if I've left it sitting there because something interrupted my enjoyment. And then, when the person isn't looking, I've thrown out the remainder. (I mean, they don't check your trash, do they?)
I put it behind a box out of my line of vision. It's still there. Its texture has not changed. I have been too busy to give it much thought; we are preparing for a lobby day at the Capitol on Monday and that means lots of handsy busywork for me.

I would rather NOT EAT than have to rush a meal - does anyone else feel that way?
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:18 PM   #64
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Maybe we should agree that "normal eaters" don't exist in real life? That might help me keep my sanity and reduce my resentment.

"Scarlett at the barbeque" behavior (love that, saef!) isn't limited to US culture. When I was living in China, I often ate with my university-aged students. In mixed groups, the girls would eat a moderate, maybe even "dainty" amount. When it was just girls, they would chow down with abandon - seconds or thirds on rice, extra (shared) entrees - and even told me they couldn't eat like this in front of the guys because it wasn't considered polite behavior.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:20 PM   #65
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OK I'm HONGRAY and dinner (sushi takeout - a splurge in every sense of the word) is in another 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

What would your Normal Eater do? Have a 190 calorie protein bar and calm down before dinner? Or wait, with the knowledge that the drive to dinner will be perilous due to slow reaction times from low blood sugar?
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:30 PM   #66
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OK I'm HONGRAY and dinner (sushi takeout - a splurge in every sense of the word) is in another 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

What would your Normal Eater do? Have a 190 calorie protein bar and calm down before dinner? Or wait, with the knowledge that the drive to dinner will be perilous due to slow reaction times from low blood sugar?
I think the normal eater would probably have a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk or something similar........something I would never do but would like to do.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:35 PM   #67
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Definitely have a protein bar. It is never a wise idea to go ravenous out to eat!
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:16 PM   #68
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OK I'm HONGRAY and dinner (sushi takeout - a splurge in every sense of the word) is in another 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

What would your Normal Eater do? Have a 190 calorie protein bar and calm down before dinner? Or wait, with the knowledge that the drive to dinner will be perilous due to slow reaction times from low blood sugar?
While I agree with Michele about that protein bar, part of me feels like this hypothetical normal eater we're talking about would just stay hungry, because she knows dinner's coming and she wants to enjoy it.

Ugh. I hate her.
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:21 PM   #69
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Ugh. I hate her.

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Old 02-27-2013, 09:38 PM   #70
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krampus, it's worrisome that the texture of the brownie hasn't changed. But perhaps now it's more of a science experiment than a tempting treat.

As for the "normal" eater, I think lots of people have a snack when they're hungry and dinner is hours away.

I work with a lot of young women now and, since my desk is inches away from the table at which they eat lunch, I see an interesting array of food. I'm surprised at how many of them order from the local deli/pizza/take out places - but those are generally the heavier girls. The slimmer ones are eating salads or food they brought from home. Not really a complicated cause and effect relationship.

saef, you do have a way with words. And you've got me wondering, when did eating start to be considered to be unladylike? Probably around the same time that wafer-thin women became the ideal, sometime after the Renaissance. Or maybe much later, the 1800s? Hmmm, if only there were some sort of technology that could help me research that...

I had a good today, and am hoping for more.
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Old 02-28-2013, 10:10 AM   #71
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Definitely have a protein bar. It is never a wise idea to go ravenous out to eat!
I don't think the normal eater knows there is such a thing as a protein bar and I an willing to bet she has never walked down the health food aisle at the grocery srore or pharmacy.I am equally sure that she has never eaten a Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine Dinner.
That was my original point, there are people who can eat what they want and never gain an ounce. I wanna be one of them !
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Old 02-28-2013, 10:21 AM   #72
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those are NOT normal people, those are freaks of nature who should have 20,000 children to spread that superpower among us!

I ended up having half a protein bar to take the edge off, and then had 3 rolls and chicken satay and was full but not stuffed. Maybe I am a normal eater. I just get crazy when I'm too hungry...but so does everyone, right?
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Old 02-28-2013, 10:42 AM   #73
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I just get crazy when I'm too hungry...but so does everyone, right?
Umm, YES. I get HANGRY. I don't understand those people (are they the "normal" ones, too?) who can not eat all day and be fine about it. My BF never eats breakfast, sometimes he skips lunch or dinner, too. He'll say in the most mild-mannered tone "I'm kind of hungry, I didn't eat much today." Kind of? And he doesn't even eat a ton when he does eat. A pretty "normal" amount, I'd say. When I get hangry, picture a godzilla-like creature emerging from my brain and yelling "FEED ME!!!!" I don't understand it.

Steph, I do find the opposite going on in my office. The naturally thin people go out to eat more. I'm the one eating salads at my desk and desperately trying to not gain any weight.

Perhaps it's not a matter of behavior but thought. It's not that those normal people may behave differently, but they don't think about food as much as we do. I would love to quiet the loud food voices in my brain. I also wonder if I perceive hunger differently. When I feel hunger, I go from not hungry to starving very quickly. I feel like there's some moderate hunger in the middle I'm missing.
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Old 02-28-2013, 11:08 AM   #74
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I get seriously crazy when I'm hungry, too. Krampus, in your situation yesterday I know people who would just grab a few nuts or a glass of milk and be fine until dinner. Me, I would obsess and panic, not eat in order to eat dinner and then order like a crazy person when I got there...

I love the Scarlet at the BBQ example, and I clearly remember my mom training me on how to eat out in public as a young person. Back in 2006 before I started dieting I was at a work function with pizza. It was 2pm, we had been there since 6am and I had no breakfast and only a little water all day. I had also not eaten much the day before as that meeting had run from 6am - 10pm with a small deli tray for lunch of things I didn't eat and some chips I avoided for snack and no dinner because we worked through it and I fell asleep in the hotel room afterward. I had pretty much had nothing but coffee since breakfast the day before. So I got two pretty decent sized slices of pizza, but not huge. Standard dominos delivery size. One of my coworkers looks at my plate and says "Shannon, I didn't know you were that kind of eater! Wow!" as she ate her 1/2 slice plain cheese pizza. She was 5'3", probably weighed less than 100 pounds. I wanted to punch her in the face. I replay that in my head even now and feel ashamed of myself. And really? Two slices of pizza wasn't all that bad. Oh, and that tiny woman probably put away 8 snack bags of chips each afternoon and a clean dozen of the big as my hand cookies over the four days of the conference. I watched. LOL
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Old 02-28-2013, 11:16 AM   #75
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Oh, Shannon do I remember comments people make. I was at a friends for dinner, dessert was a delicious homemade Red Velvet Cake. As she sliced my portion she asked if that was OK or would I like a smaller slice. I said OH, that is ok.......well that brought about comments about me wanting the larger slice. Embarrassing ! Oh, and I was overweight at the time.
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