Steph I'm so sorry about your cat. They do tend to keep illness and injury very much to themselves. We generally don't know something is very wrong with a cat until it's too late.
I was not a productive human being over my long weekend. My BF tells me to not be so hard on myself, that it's ok I relaxed. I'm not very good at doing that. I'm dreading a phone call I need to make once 9:00 rolls around at work. I have some researchers coming in the spring, and had talked with my supervisor about what parts of our facility they could use unsupervised, what resources we could offer them, etc, told them this. I spoke with my supervisor's supervisor and he (who is in fact the one in charge) is on a totally different page. I feel terrible they've been planning their research thinking they will have resources they will not - this will drastically change their project. And I'm the one who has to deliver this news. This isn't the first time my supervisor's lack of communication has caused me to have to backtrack. At this point I feel like I should "check" anything she tells me w her supervisor, which is awkward. It is frustrating.
Life lesson: Communication skills are important, people! Very, very important.
Michele, hopefully your doctor's close attention to your thyroid & hormone levels will result in him being able to help you. I hope so. You've had a tough go with the scale lately.
Saef, how did your interview go? Did you "speak his language" to your boss's boss?
Shannon, how was the dinner?
Allison, sorry about the unwanted houseguests. I would be telling my BF it's his duty to cook, clean, and entertain, it's his family! How was the cruise?
Steph, I'm so sorry. It is so difficult when we lose one of our furry companions.
Off to work. I hear the boss coming. Have a good day all.
So sorry about your cat, Steph. It is so hard to lose a pet--and to have it so unexpected makes it much worse.
Megan~the cruise was spectacular! The music was absolutely to die for. There were so many people who had done this cruise several times before and they said we'd love it and we did.
I thought I'd get home and get right back on the diet bandwagon but with house guests it is not to be. Last night we went to MIL's for dinner. Burgers on white buns with baked beans. No salad except the lettuce and tomato for the burgers. Tonight we're on our own, but she made spaghetti the other night and there are tons of that left over. Tomorrow everyone is coming over for pizza. Thankfully the house guests leave Thursday (and the house cleaners come then, too!).
So while MIL stayed with us she did some grocery shopping for me (I wish she hadn't). Non-whole wheat bread (that is already feeling stale), sourdough muffins (instead of my whole wheat), a red pepper that should have been eaten a week ago (I'll throw most of this out). And half a dozen avocados which will probably go bad before I have a chance to eat them.
Allison - this too shall pass, they will be gone soon. I'm glad that you enjoyed the cruise, though!
Megan - it seems like we talk to people all the time, communication should be so easy but it isn't. I'm sorry you have to give bad news to your researchers.
Michele - exercise always makes me swing up in weight, too. Makes me crazy. I don't actually know what peri-menopausal means in the real world, but I hope that the doctor sorts things out for you.
Sheila - I hope DH's interview goes well today, honey!
Saef - how did your interview go yesterday?
My dinner went well last night. The restaurant was not busy at all for dinner, they were busier during the day apparently but died after 6. They were listed on the website and on FB as open until 9, though as we were leaving at 9 we realized that they were actually only open until 8. Eek. As there weren't very many people there when we arrived at 7 anyway we just figured it was slow on Monday, had no idea we kept them an hour late. They didn't give us a hard time at all - they sold us fantastic desserts after 8, didn't pressure us to leave, didn't let us know that they were closed, nothing. And the food was fantastic. My friend wanted southern food, so I found him southern food. I considered other things on the menu, but when in Rome. We had fried green tomatoes and handmade potato chips with melted cheese and hot sauce for appetizers, I had fried chicken with collard greens and cheese grits for the entree, mini cornbread muffins, some of my friend's macaroni and cheese, shared pecan pie and peach cobbler for dessert. It was fantastic. Just fantastic. And my weight was the same today as it was yesterday - a little high from popcorn on Sunday, but not nearly as bad as expected. Back in the real world today I hope. LOL We have the potential of dinner out with friends again tonight, I'll pick somewhere with healthier choices.
Thanks, all, for the sympathy. He was a really good cat and I'll miss him.
Shannon, homemade chips with cheese and hot sauce sound fabulous. I may have to try some variation of that.
Allison, think how nice it will be to get your house and routine back! I have a hard time with house guests for more than one night. Fortunately, my house is tiny and I have no guest room so no one wants to stay anyway.
Megan, you are so right about communication. Sometimes it's irritating to have to continually confirm what other people are thinking but it saves trouble in the long run. We humans do a lot of talking but rarely say enough that matters.
I'm having an oddly good day at work which is making me feel guilty about my hopes to leave here soon. I think I need therapy, or medication, or something. Maybe chips with cheese and hot sauce...
Steph, I'm also sorry to hear about your cat's death. I don't have my own cat, but I love deeply my mother's cat, Fritz, as we developed a close relationship when I stayed with her for almost a year while my apartment was renovated. He slept with me every night, and since I was up and about very early in the morning, before going to the gym, I always fed him and let him out & then in again. And when I was working at the desk in the living room, he always walked past to get his ears rubbed, and if he felt so inclined, jumped up on the desk and walked over my laptop keyboard. When I am in my blackest moods, I think of my mother losing Fritz -- because that's what happens with animals, no matter how much you love them -- you lose them. But it's better than never having had them at all, isn't it? And they know when they're loved and safe. That is what you gave to your cat, that kind of love and reassurance. I have to think we're better people for loving & caring for our animals.
I'm here procrastinating over writing my interview thank-you note. I know I did better than when I interviewed with this man last year. Parts of the interview went splendidly. At some points, I know I babbled. I have to remind myself that it's okay to be silent for a moment, to reflect on what I want to say, and also that I must listen. I'm like Scheherazade & think my life depends on my keeping talking, that amusing the sultan can fend off any danger to me.
It's so cold in my apartment today that I'm on my sixth cup of coffee of the day. (I went to decaf by the third cup.) I'll recommend it here: It's New England brand, sold at some mini-marts around here, and the flavor is French Vanilla.
Jen, when I saw those pictures of you in the other thread wearing the bikini, I thought: "This is the woman who doesn't like her thighs?" Um, are you a perfectionist, by any chance? You look like one of the fittest beings I've seen lately outside of professional trainers and high-ranking amateur athletes. Your standards for yourself are very, very high. And yeah, I understand that totally, as you & I are on the same wave length on so many things. I have to admit, I think I'm trying, without stating it outright or admitting it to myself, for a fitness model's midsection. On some level, I know that's insane. On some level, I know it's beyond mere maintenance. It's overcompensation on my part for years of being fat, unfit, far from hot. It's me trying to see how much control I can exert in shaping my body. But this is what I worry about: Will I get to a state where maintaining my appearance crowds out all other interests & hobbies, and can't survive the minor derailments that life throws at us all? How sustainable is this routine of mine? I keep saying, yeah it is, but the truth is, if I get this new job, or if I go back to writing for myself, not just for my job, those things could enrich my life, but it will make it hard to keep up exercising two hours a day & doing all the cooking, recipe research and marketing required to eat as I do. So do I say no, I won't advance in my career, or let the wings of my mind unfurl any further, because I have to use all my energy and time to concentrate on my appearance? That is the hard question that keeps facing me these days.
And the food was fantastic. My friend wanted southern food, so I found him southern food. I considered other things on the menu, but when in Rome. We had fried green tomatoes and handmade potato chips with melted cheese and hot sauce for appetizers, I had fried chicken with collard greens and cheese grits for the entree, mini cornbread muffins, some of my friend's macaroni and cheese, shared pecan pie and peach cobbler for dessert. It was fantastic. Just fantastic. And my weight was the same today as it was yesterday - a little high from popcorn on Sunday, but not nearly as bad as expected.
I'm considering this a major victory, and also, that you had a great time at the restaurant when you'd worried a lot about your evening -- that is a sign of successfully jumping the tracks.
You know, I think I can feel you getting stronger as the days go past, or maybe it's just that you're posting here more, and I have some greater visibility into someone who **already** was strong but underestimated herself.
Jen, when I saw those pictures of you in the other thread wearing the bikini, I thought: "This is the woman who doesn't like her thighs?" Um, are you a perfectionist, by any chance? You look like one of the fittest beings I've seen lately outside of professional trainers and high-ranking amateur athletes. Your standards for yourself are very, very high. And yeah, I understand that totally, as you & I are on the same wave length on so many things. I have to admit, I think I'm trying, without stating it outright or admitting it to myself, for a fitness model's midsection. On some level, I know that's insane. On some level, I know it's beyond mere maintenance. It's overcompensation on my part for years of being fat, unfit, far from hot. It's me trying to see how much control I can exert in shaping my body. But this is what I worry about: Will I get to a state where maintaining my appearance crowds out all other interests & hobbies, and can't survive the minor derailments that life throws at us all? How sustainable is this routine of mine? I keep saying, yeah it is, but the truth is, if I get this new job, or if I go back to writing for myself, not just for my job, those things could enrich my life, but it will make it hard to keep up exercising two hours a day & doing all the cooking, recipe research and marketing required to eat as I do. So do I say no, I won't advance in my career, or let the wings of my mind unfurl any further, because I have to use all my energy and time to concentrate on my appearance? That is the hard question that keeps facing me these days.
Saef, your response totally and completely threw me - because I don't see this AT ALL! I mean I know that I'm in decent shape, but I don't think of myself at all as being towards the top of any fitness standard! And I know you'll laugh at this but the way I was standing in that pic made my thighs look better then they really do.
But I was thinking of this over the weekend when my scale number was pissing me off - and I think it's along the lines of what you are saying - when I first started this journey, I didn't even want to be "average" I just wanted to be not so fat anymore. At what point did I "have" to be "better than"? I realized this weekend for the first time, believe it or not, that I'm thinner and more fit then the average american woman and it's still not good enough.
I certainly know what you mean about sustainability as well as sacrificing other parts of a quality life for looking good. If anyone here figures out the answer to this, please let me know!!
We all are surrounded by images of women in the media who are unnaturally tall and painfully thin (or photoshopped to look thinner). Since this is mostly what we see we think we have to look like this. Even if our rational minds say "no, regular people don't look like this" we are still awash in a sea of images of unnaturally thin people. I find that this tends to subconsciously colour my impressions of what women "should look like".
I go to the mall sometimes to pick up mail, grocery shop, etc. I get a pretty good reality check of what size and shape a lot of people are in from there.
And most of the other dogwalkers are about my size and roughly my weight or bigger. I am in better shape than most of them as I work out on top of all the walking and I watch what I eat etc. I am quite proud of being one of the oldest dogwalkers in the beach and keeping up with the younger folks.
Speaking of I better go do my yoga - it's minus 20C outside and I need to be limber today to get through the 5 dogwalks.
Saef, when do you find out if you got the management job?
Shannon, sounds like your dinner was lovely!
Jen, now I want to see your bikini photos. Can you link me to where they're posted?
Dagmar, it is quite alarming when you look at the difference between the women you see on TV and the women you see in daily life. There are also regional differences for sure -- I find that here in the midwest there are far more extremely overweight people than there were back in LA.
DH is working from home today because we are getting a new dishwasher! Our old one was leaking, and when DH investigated how to repair it, it turned out that half of it was rusting away anyway so we decided to just replace it. Hopefully the installation will go smoothly. It will be nice to have a working dishwasher again so DH does not have to spend so much time doing dishes (it's true, he does all the dishes, I do none).
In other news I went to Goodwill last night and scored myself a winter coat that will fit my giant belly. I can barely zip up my current coat -- I'm expecting by next week I won't be able to zip it. It was kind of funny because I'm pulling all these gigantic coats off the rack -- men's coats, size 20 coats, etc -- and they look absolutely ridiculous because the shoulder seams are at my elbows and such. Then I found this coat that actually fits my arms and shoulders AND has a gigantic stomach! No tags in it, so I'm not sure whether it's a coat someone made themself, or they just removed the tags, but I'm fairly certain it's either a maternity coat or one that's designed to be super-drapey. The outside is black and some kind of waterproof material, which is fine, but the lining is leopard-print faux fur! Not my style at all, but it only shows at the collar and cuffs, and the coat was only $10, so I will deal.
I'm so sorry about your cat. They do tend to keep illness and injury very much to themselves. We generally don't know something is very wrong with a cat until it's too late.
Can you link me to where they're posted?
