These days when I see classes coming into the library with subs, I cringe. The classes are very difficult to control, no matter the age. Teachers are so much better at knowing the individual students-- what works, what doesn't work, which students not to place together, etc.
Back from my dogsit. Start the next one Friday. Looks like January is "Dogmageddon" month, which is good since I can really use the extra $$$.
I feel a bit sorry for my dad today. Apparently they are going to boot him out of palliative care at the nice nursing home where my cousin's wife works. I did put him on a waiting list for an Estonian home back in 2011. I really hope they will send him there, rather than to the first sh*thole that has an available spot.
More stuff for him to yell at me about. C'est la vie.
No idea what I weigh today and am too tired to care.
Dagmar, I thought of you yesterday when I had my "duty lunch" with my dad. He's quite egotistical, but he doesn't rant or yell at me. It's more a matter of him just talking about himself nonstop, with only the occasional question about me. Not so bad, I guess.
Shannon, glad you're feeling better and that you enjoyed the Shatner show. What did it entail, exactly? Dramatic readings? I love the way he has had such a great late-stage career.
Ishbel, I'm a Walking Dead fan too. So creepy. I'm not sure if I could do a maarathon - one hour at a time is enough!
Sheila, I love Bradley Cooper and wanted to see Silver Linings Playbook. I'll be looking for that on Netflix in the spring.
I just got back from my meetup dinner with strangers. It was a lot of fun. I'm always surprised that I end up being the chatty one at things like this. when I could never make myself go to the office holiday party because I felt like such a wallflower. I think this group has some potential for outings - everyone wants to go hiking or visit museums. I'm glad I went.
I do find, though, that when I get home from social events I really want to eat. I know it's a reaction to the anxiety, a way to bring myself down from the mild excitement of being sociable. I should exercise instead but it's a little late for that and I didn't sleep well last night. Excuses, excuses.
Hi Steph, I know all about excuses! How about this: I had a great food day today but when it hit zero degrees tonight I ate an energy bar. The scale will tell me the cause and effect relationship that exists between what I eat and what I weigh tho. For some reason the scale just doesn't listen to my excuses!
As far as the dreaded cold/flu season, if you feel or even think you feel sick, for the love of Pete, STAY HOME! Our part time girl/intern, who only works on Saturdays, dropped in last Tuesday, after working her shift at the people hospital, coughing and hacking, snotty nose and all. You'd think someone who works in the medical profession would know better.
Watching movies/tv. Don't know when the last time DH and I went to a movie. We have 2 tv's because we have totally different taste in tv.
Mudpie! I have a grandmother in the local nursing home who can be cantankerous as all get out.
Anyway, life is pretty much status quo around here. It's been colder than a well diggers hind end in the Klondike the last few days. New grandson coming March 23!
Seemed to have inherited several kitties, who I think have wandered over from neighboring rental farm house where tenant got kicked out and must have left them. Normally, I would not feed them as I don't need any more cats, but it's been so darn cold and one is so skinny, I have been feeding them. So now, I guess I will bring home a carrier and catch the 2 that are tame and haul them into work and get them fixed and a rabies vaccination. Don't need them adding to the feral kitty population and we had several local cases of confirmed rabies in skunks this summer and now, about 30 miles away, in Colorado they have had 10 or so confirmed cases of rabies in skunks in the last month! The Colorado, USDA Veterinary disease vet called us the other day and gave us a heads up!
Krampus, I love wings! Now I make them out of skinless chicken breast chunks and do them in the oven!
Concocted a new soup tonight! 1 can of fat free refried beans and 1 can of enchilada sauce. Yum! Nice and thick and creamy, the spices give it a bit of heat, and the creaminess and warmth, makes it feel like a good cold weather comfort soup! Sprinkle just a dab of cheese on top, or get a low calorie tortilla, add a bit of cheese and melt, and dip! Enjoy!
Shannon - glad you had a good time at the Shatner show. DH was very jealous when I told him you were going! Shatner just seems like a really cool guy that you could hang out with!
A good friend of mine - who is truly one of the kindest people I have ever met - has Lupus and it is flaring up extremely bad and she is in danger of losing her eyesite - she is 43 years old. She called me yesterday and her father, who has been an emotionally abusive alcoholic her whole life, committed suicide by drinking a bunch of antifreeze. He also left a suicide note tearing her apart and basically saying he never got any support from her. She is totally a wreck. I wish there was more I could do for her.
Had the weirdest dream last night - I was never a binge eater, even at my heaviest. But in this dream there was some get together and there was a large store bought chocolate cake. Everyone had left the room and I just started CRAMMING the cake down my throat. I'm talking no fork, and using both hands to just stuff my face. I woke up with a start and was SO RELIEVED that it was just a dream. Wondering where this came from, though...
Watching the award shows is my secret vice, although I generally mute the speeches. Never worn an evening gown or formal in my life, but I love looking at the fashions and seeing who was in the top 5 of the best and worst dressed. I can only admit that online where anonymity is relatively guaranteed.
I have no shame. The dresses are fascinating to me. If not quite works of art, then they are a form of craft at its highest level. I marvel at the labor they represent. Someone dreamed them up, sketched them, maybe pinned the fabric. Someone else sewed them, individually, largely by hand. (But if you watch "Project Runway" you may already have marveled, as I have, at the process.) The dresses are meant to set off a woman's beauty like a frame around a portrait. The matchmaking that stylists perform to get the right dress for the right woman, well, that, too, is a very high form of craft. Sometimes I wonder if certain of those women wearing the dresses are actually worthy of the thought & man-hours of labor that have been put into their appearance. (Lindsay Lohan ... enough said.) No, I don't own any couture clothing. You know me, I could never justify the expense. But if you also know me, you know my respect for anyone who's an artisan & very focused & incredibly good at what they do, and that respect extends to the dresses, which, sadly, seem to have a lifespan shorter than a bouquet of flowers.
Now I'm settling into the quieter work day that I thought I'd have yesterday. My primary concern is the zoning board meeting that I'll be attending tonight. Back in December, the board reviewed our flood wall plans and several neighbors spoke against it, fearing it would cause displaced water to fill up their properties. Our engineer, Leonard Jackson, testified that it would not, that there is no other solution for our apartment complex, and that he advised other complexes to consider building walls, as no amount of dredging or engineering can undo the loss of wetlands and undeveloped land upstream, which formerly absorbed vast amounts of precipitation, nor will the weather ever return to "normal" again, without periodic catastrophic events.
Again, my apartment complex chartered a bus to get us to the meeting, since so many residents here don't drive at night, don't drive anymore at all, or don't drive outside of the near neighborhood. I'll be there, to listen, show support and help people get in & off the bus.
I really, really hope they approve the wall, and that it is NOT remanded again for further study.
Jen,
I'm sorry about your friend. I sure hope she isn't feeling guilt over losing her dad. Your dream could have been a result of your feeling helpless to support her? Just a thought!
I signed up for my second Tough Mudder in September. Now I have extra motivation to 1. work on my upper body strength and 2. lose a few pounds.... Last year when I participated, I had woeful upper body strength and the two men on our team basically had to hoist me up to the walls to climb over. I'd rather be able to do it more myself ideally, but if they do have to hoist me, I'd rather be a few pounds less!
Good morning all. I'm back at work, though moving a little slowly. I might not make it the entire day at this rate.
The Shatner show was basically just him talking about his life. He touched on childhood, growing up in Montreal, first acting jobs, Star Trek, his wife who drowned, meeting his new wife, raising horses, all kinds of things. Showed a few video clips. Ended it with a song. He talked for two hours. It was fantastic. He really does seem like someone you could just sit and drink a beer with and chat. Or whatever social drink of choice, today for me would be hot tea. LOL
Jen - I'm sorry about your friend. That is terrible.
Dagmar - why is your dad getting kicked out of the nice place? How is he doing otherwise? And how are you? Take care of you.
Saef - hope they approve your wall.
Janelle - I love the idea of that soup. DH doesn't eat beans, but that sounds like a great at work meal for me.
Chris - the scale never listens to my excuses either. Darnit.
Steph - I'm glad the meetup went well. I tend to be kind of quiet and don't seek out social activities, but when I'm in one I'm a talker. I'm a great date at office parties, or so I've been told.
Michele - high five on signing up for another tough mudder! Woo!
Ishbel - the Walking Dead kind of creeps me out. Several of my friends have done those zombie runs where people dress up and chase you through a 5k - I think that would give me nightmares, honestly. I'm prone to suggestion at 2am.
to anyone I missed!
I have a half marathon in four weeks. I have to get better so I can get ready!
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 01-15-2013 at 12:06 PM.
I never dreamed of food until I started spending a lot of my waking life thinking about it. I was a binge eater, but I also think the dream is not quite as matter-of-fact as that. Usually, I'm at some groaning table, as gorgeous as a Dutch still-life painting meant to show the goodness of life. When I have these dreams, it's usually a sign that 1) I feel deprived in some way, not necessarily of food, but perhaps of warmth, love, companionship, you name it, as I'm the only one excluded from the feast and have to steal what others enjoy openly and unreservedly; or 2) I have been too driven, have postponed relaxation or time to exhale for too long, and haven't been very kind to myself or indulgent in simple pleasures. I know I must let up on myself, but if I loosen the reins, I fear I'll go crazy bucking & kicking & run away with myself. Essentially, it's a dream about losing control. Which, apparently, I'm not allowed to do in life, only in dreams.
Oh, and I guess this is kind of related: I am fascinated by "The Walking Dead" and I am extremely impatient with it being on hiatus till football season ends. After the flood, I started liking post-apocalyptic movies. I've thought that during the worst of my binges, during my eating disorder days, I probably looked just about as civilized as one of those guys when sitting down to a meal.
Of course, if the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'll be an early one to die, as I absolutely need my 10mg of generic Prozac a day. Or maybe that would turn me into a bada$$ woman in a tanktop, showing off my arms & wearing those cool green khaki knee-length pants, with my hair in a kinda sexy tangle, carrying a katana or a gun, and raiding desolate Walgreens and CVS for pharmaceuticals, killing all the zombie-fied guys in white coats and the teenagers with the wild fingernails to get them.
Today for work I had to take my annual "pack test" and some safety refresher training that allows me to help with prescribed burning. 2 miles, a 25 lb pack, in under 30 minutes, and no running allowed. I mention it here every year. It has become my annual reminder of what it is like to carry extra weight, and the test is only half of the extra weight that I used to carry. It is hard to do, and it is hard on the knees, shins, and back. I did it in 25:43 this year, my best time yet. It is sort of celebratory, and makes me think of what I've accomplished and how much more I can live in my body now. It's also a warning to me. Never regain that weight.
Last night at my book club meeting we discussed "B as in Beauty" which is a book about an overweight woman learning to love herself. It also struck many chords with me. I told my friends how overweight I used to be and that I could relate to B. It caught me off guard for a second when I realized that my friends didn't know how overweight I was when I was a teenager, but they didn't know me then. I could write a novel about my emotions reading this book and discussing it with my friends... but I won't. I have certainly had a lot of reminders in the past day of where I've come from.
Janelle, do you have a "wing" recipe that works well for you? I love buffalo sauce flavors and tend to dump lighter versions of the sauce on boneless skinless chicken parts.
Shannon, get thee to bed! Don't try to push yourself if you're still sick.
Jessica, take care of yourself! I don't think a mask would be out of order if you're really concerned, and also perhaps leave a Lysol can sitting on your desk/periodically spray your doorknob, restroom doorknobs, etc. This flu season is pretty bad.
I do have some sympathy for a few sick people who work. Half of my coworkers are paid pitiful hourly wages, no benefits, no sick leave, so if they don't work they don't get paid and really can't afford not to work. I don't like it when they come in sick, but can't blame them. I did that for 3 years before I got my present position and it was hard to make ends meet.
Jen, I'm so sorry about your friend. How terrible.
Anything remotely scary terrifies me. Always has, always will. I don't care if I know it's fake. No zombies for this woman.
Megan, I think it is horrible that jobs exist that don't have sick leave. It's so stupid. I mean, how much do you save by not giving them sick leave compared to how much you lose by having a sick person infect 90% of your workforce? It's absolutely ridiculous. Same for people who have to use vacation hours for sick leave (my company does this for hourly employees -- I'm salaried so it doesn't apply to me). It's like, what happens if you get sick right after you took a vacation? I guess the rest of the office is going to get infected because you can't stay home.
I could rant about the ridiculousness of American labor laws for ages. I mean, isn't this what all of the strikes and union formations back around the turn of the 20th century were for? Occupational health and safety? It's like we're making backwards progress and it's ridiculous. At least we still have worker's comp and OSHA, even though many people don't have sick leave, vacation hours, medical care, overtime pay, etc. etc. etc.
In any case the folks at my office who I was complaining about coming in sick are all salaried and have the same benefits as me, and are all capable of working remotely with their laptops, so they have no excuse. Sadly people feel like they have to come in in person so as not to give the appearance of slacking off.
Ok, guys, bear with me for a minute as I throw a pity party for myself.
This is turning into a banner week. My weight has spiked up from this weekend and I'm feeling really hungry all the time. I'm about 4 pounds over where I want to be. I can't figure out what is going on.
Then I went out for a run at lunch and my IT Band was KILLING me even wearing the strap and so I could only manage 4 miles.
Now this afternoon I found out that one of my favorite clients relapsed on heroin. I had to call him into my office and then send him to jail so he just left here in cuffs.
Ok, I just needed to vent for a minute. Hope things start looking up!
Jen, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time - and it's awfully difficult to see clients relapse and have to send them to jail. I hope he recovers and a clean future is in the cards. Do you think the hunger and the IT injury stress are related? Injury is incredibly triggering for me.
Jessica, it's pretty brutal out there for a lot of employees. My roommate worked in the restaurant/service industry making a living wage but not a benefit in sight. Now she has medical/dental/sick coverage with her new job at a preschool, but they are paying her just over minimum wage.
Megan - congrats on the new record pack time. I sometimes think about that when I'm lifting at the gym - me plus this dumbbell used to be all me!
Mudpie! I have a grandmother in the local nursing home who can be cantankerous as all get out.
The Colorado, USDA Veterinary disease vet called us the other day and gave us a heads up!
He really does seem like someone you could just sit and drink a beer with and chat. Or whatever social drink of choice, today for me would be hot tea. LOL
to anyone I missed!
