I too would like to keep this thread. I need this constant in my life...
I am about to move in with my boyfriend and between the stress of moving and (once again) taking the plunge of living with a partner and everything that goes along with it, I'm melting down a bit.
I've been under lots of stress lately, lots of sickness around me, some sickness myself, stress at work, stress at home. Eating and exercise have suffered.
I contacted a personal trainer I know who does online training and will design a plan specifically for you. He says "sounds like you were in a good place for a while and knew what you are doing, why can't you just start doing that again?" So I've been trying to answer that all day.
I think I'm lost. I have reams of notes and charts and graphs, and when I look at all of them to see what I could do I get lost in the details. As such, I'm doing nothing. So it is time once again to get this train back on track and get moving. I know the right thing to do - exercises, eating, sleeping. I know it. I just have to do it. I need to go back to my good habits. And stick with them this time. This thread is one of those good habits.
I completely understand the feeling of being lost, Shannon. It's not like we don't know what to do. It's not like we haven't done it before. It's not like we don't want to do what we need to do. It is the fact that there is something standing in our way. Our own psyche? Time constraints? Family constraints? You name it, it could be standing in our way of getting back to what we need to do.
For me it is time. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to get accomplished the things that I need to do. Yet I do find time to lounge on the couch for an hour before bed. That would be my psyche standing in my way. Thankfully the eating part for me is pretty much consistent in the healthy realm. It's the exercise that I just can't seem to wrap my head around.
There was a little local coffee shop in my neighborhood, when I moved into the area in 2005 it had been there four about 12 years. Owned by a local guy who went to a local college. DH had been going there for a long time. Fantastic shop. Great coffee beverages - unique recipes, good blends, personal service, felt homey. Better prices and better service than Starbucks. They were open limited hours, 6-5 on weekdays, stayed open later on Fri and Sat, til 8. Opened later at 9 on Sat and Sun, closed Sun at 4. On emergency days one person could run the place all day with a part timer coming in to help for a bit. They paid their people higher than minimum wage to attract a high quality staff and offered insurance. Treated people well. They sold great pastry and cakes made by a local baker. They would toast a bagel or muffin for you in the mornings with some cheese or bacon while they made your drink, on the weekends they would sell cold sandwiches at lunch that were just boars head meat and cheese on homemade bread, from the same baker. Some fruit in a basket at the register, a few drink boxes and milk boxes. A customer loyalty program where you could pay $45 up front, get any drink free and have a card in a box that you could pay from until you needed to reload it. Soft music, comfy chairs, free wifi when it became popular. They had rocked on for 12 years like that, with people driving in from all over the county to get drinks there. No big changes over the years other than adding in smoothies and frappes as they became popular.
We come to 2009. The owner moves to Seattle, sells the shop to a long term employee and her husband. For the first few months it was the same. Then... she started opening earlier and closing later - all of a sudden she needed more staff, and and higher expenses for keeping the doors open longer hours. The regulars didn't come in the new hours, so she needed to attract new people. She added in breakfast platters with meats, grits, breads, lots of options - all of a sudden the wait times were LONG in the morning. She lost regular customers, they couldn't get out of the car and come in for the longer wait. Plus, she changed the loyalty program and didn't reward for frequent visits like the old manager did. She changed her products - left the local bakery who had been making her pastries for 17 years by now and got prepackaged items. They didn't sell. Changed to a different coffee, bad. Cut out half the syrups and stripped her menu of drink choices. (I used to get a cinnamon toast or jack frost latte, those were gone.) She wanted to beef up dinner time traffic - started selling 'dinner plates' M-F made by a friend who was a chef. Monday was meat loaf, Tuesday was cube steak, that kind of thing. You couldn't buy an espresso drink during that time, as she didn't run the machine. So people coming in off the street for a coffee drink based on the sign couldn't get coffee. She petitioned the city to sell wine, got approved. Family customers stopped coming in during the day with their kids because she now attracted a college crowd who sat and drank cheap wine for hours and were loud and made the families uncomfortable. Started paying people less and cut the insurance program, the good people quit. She replaced them with people who weren't dependable and called out on her. She and her husband worked 100+ hours a week and couldn't make their expenses. They collapsed under their own weight in less than six months. Food costs, labor costs, utility costs were more than they could handle. All in a business that was making a nice profit a year ago.
I ran into her a year or so ago at Costco. She saw me and burst into tears. Says to me 'I knew what worked, why did I try to change it? I spent everything I had and lost it all, I'll never recover. Why didn't I just do the right thing?'
I was thinking about her today because I'm having a celebratory coffee drink this morning. I came in to work from a different part of town today and passed where her shop had been, and a few years ago I would have gotten my celebration drink from her. Heck, I would have gone out of my way to go to her shop for it. It made me think about change, and myself, and where I am right now.
I know what worked, why did I try to change it? Why don't I just pick back up and do the right thing? In everything? Why do I try new things after new thing after new thing and continue to beat myself down until I collapse under my own circumstance?
Well, this week I'm working to stand back up and do what works. I've exercised two days in a row, I've worked out a budget, I've planned several days of meals, I've started talking here more. After my closing in half an hour I'm going to come back and log my food and exercise. I'm pointed in the right direction, now I need to walk that way. LOL
Thank you guys for all of your support. It helps. Lots.
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 03-27-2013 at 01:17 PM.
Shannon, it sounds like you have figured out what you need to do and are ready to do it. That's all it takes to re-start...now have one good day, then another and you will have regained your momentum.
I just weighed myself after not doing it for about 3 weeks. My delusional nature told me I was still under 140 despite totally slacking - yeah right. 144. OK, it's a starting number.
Hey all! My, what I have missed. I got back from Oregon midday on Monday (red eye flights are the WORST!) and have spend the last few days catching up with work and sleep.
I ate like crap all weekend and feel it. Even binged (a word I don't use lightly) on Monday after I was home. Yuck. So, OK, that's over and done with and I'm moving forward. Again!
(I should say, however, it was a beautiful, intimate, fun wedding, and I did get a 3.3 mile run in on the Oregon coast, which is breath-taking, as well as an hour long kickboxing class led by the bride's sister. So it was a nice weekend, overall.)
As for keeping the thread, I would love to! I don't post in chat or visit much because my schedule is so wonky and it seems impossible to keep up, then I feel self-centered if I go there to talk about weight loss. I like the idea of some sort of accountability thread in Maintainers.
Shannon, I loved your story. It makes so much sense, and I hope that your thinking about it helps provide you with that "click" moment we all need from time to time. It sounds like you have it! I need to tighten up a little bit, too, and remember what helped me lose 80+ pounds in the first place. (Hint: It was NOT overeating like crazy on the weekends!)
OK, I'm off to class, but I'll be around now that life is semi-under control for the moment.
Oh Shannon ....thank you for sharing that story...was like Aesop's Fable..made me really think. I too have always known what was right and worked ...but I just didn't do it ! If wishes were fishes Beggars would ride Horses ..isn't that what they say?
Knowing and DOING are 2 different things ...Despite what Oprah is famous for saying when people know better they do better....Hmmm I don't buy that!
I am a lazy Procrastinator... That requires a fire to be lit under me to get moving...but once I do I am Tenacious and Laser focused!
I usually will sit back and wait for problems to resolve themselves ...only if they don't do I intervene.... Generally in life this has worked to my advantage...Not soo much with Weightloss... Lesson learned!
This thread is getting lose to 500. Looks like the consensus of opinion is to keep it and I agree. Someone willing to start a new thread ?The name usually follows a season, just because that is the way it works out. Any suggestions ? here is a sample.....Maintainers springing into summer.
Welcome back JenM! I'm glad that you enjoyed the trip, even with the food hangover today. LOL I don't know how long you've been in the area, but you might also remember my coffee shop. The original owner went to your school as I remember.
JayZ - you can start back in the right direction with me.
Roo2 - knowing and doing are so different, aren't they?!?!? Sometimes I don't understand why I don't just do a thing.
Bargoo - new thread, yes please. Names... Hm.
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 03-27-2013 at 01:38 PM.
