Steph~interlopers are WELCOME!!!!! You've come a long way and don't ever feel like you don't belong! As the rest of will attest to--once a loser, always a loser and once you've lost and maintained a one pound lose, you are a maintainer.
I feel like something of an interloper here, since I haven't made it to my goal weight, but wanted to say that this thread has been very moving and inspirational for me. So, thanks.
As for being too hard on ourselves:
Word.
losermom, ditto to every word of your post. When I was really working my plan last winter, I indulged myself by going to bed before midnight and taking naps on Sunday afternoons rather than by eating. It was lovely and I need to get back to that.
I'm also making a real effort to be more social (and it is an effort). I've joined a couple of MeetUp groups and have a couple of outings planned with total strangers. And I've resigned myself to being the only one who ever hosts anything. The upside: less driving.
Good luck to all in 2013.
Steph, in no way are you an interloper of any kind. The minute you maintained a 1 pound loss you became a maintainer. Welcome! I'm not a very good poster, but I do read a lot.
Regarding the hosting, you're probably right. I don't get it though. It's not like my house is super nice or anything. Most of my friends live in much nicer homes and neighborhoods and are probably better cooks than I am. And you're right about the driving. That way I don't have to worry about how much I drink.
Life is hard. How else are we all gonna get through it okay, if we don't make friends and help one another?
I'm another one who isolates herself. Partly it's from being an only child & being good at amusing myself. Partly it's the effort of maintenance -- I work out alone, I shop & prepare food alone. And partly it's that really, really annoying problem that social gatherings always involve food, and people who are together with other people & happy usually think it's time to indulge, and the herd mentality of giving one another permission "to be bad" (in the cute way that women sometimes talk about it) is not good for me.
Where are the people who meet up to go for a hike instead of to have a huge heavy dinner with wine? Where are the people who'd go horseback riding with me & not require a slice of pizza afterward? Must find these people in 2013. Because I need more friends to help me get through this life.
Life is hard. How else are we all gonna get through it okay, if we don't make friends and help one another?
I'm another one who isolates herself. Partly it's from being an only child & being good at amusing myself. Partly it's the effort of maintenance -- I work out alone, I shop & prepare food alone. And partly it's that really, really annoying problem that social gatherings always involve food, and people who are together with other people & happy usually think it's time to indulge, and the herd mentality of giving one another permission "to be bad" (in the cute way that women sometimes talk about it) is not good for me.
Where are the people who meet up to go for a hike instead of to have a huge heavy dinner with wine? Where are the people who'd go horseback riding with me & not require a slice of pizza afterward? Must find these people in 2013. Because I need more friends to help me get through this life.
I agree with all of this 100%. My problem is I'm too beat from the dogwalking to do anything during the week. I don't drink alcohol so that further complicates socializing (all the other dogwalkers drink so I organized breakfasts as get togethers). I also don't really have the time or energy or money for hobbies.
That leaves??? Church has been suggested but I'm not religious - SIGH. And DH is quite vehemently atheist.
Where are the people who meet up to go for a hike instead of to have a huge heavy dinner with wine? Where are the people who'd go horseback riding with me & not require a slice of pizza afterward? Must find these people in 2013. Because I need more friends to help me get through this life.
Saef, I agree 100%. I'm a little better off because I do have friends already who are very active - they just also happen to be foodies and I think because I've been such a, um, stationary being for so long, that they have stopped asking me to do stuff with them, and we eat instead. Never gave it a thought until you made this post. I bet they silently wish I would offer to come out and play, instead of just go to dinner. Resolution: Play more.
All of you who post on this forum, yes, all of you, are wonderful people.
And all of you are too hard on yourselves.
ETA: Our resolution in 2013 should be to be kinder to ourselves & not just to drive ourselves in areas where we feel we are not quite up to snuff.
I just had to read and reread and reread this thread again before I could reply to it.
Yes, we are all too hard on ourselves. Every one of us.
Steph - not an interloper at all. Welcome.
Becky et al - I also have some friends who would love to go on active outings, yet we always seem to make 'sit and eat' plans. Must get better about that.
Losermom - can I just use your goals? Love them.
Michele - I see myself in so much that you write. I also relaxed this year and have gotten lost in the process. Maybe this year we can both find our balance again.
Back in a few minutes with my official 'goals, hopes and dreams for 2013' post. I don't like the word resolution, I've failed at too many in the past.
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 01-04-2013 at 01:24 PM.
Goals -
1) to be able to touch my toes again by the end of the year - I got there two years ago, but let the yoga slide in 2012 so the ability went away. To get to that goal, I'm going to have to do more yoga. I'm not going to say how much more specifically in a goal, just more.
2) Get my pullups back - another skill I let go in 2012
3) Get back down to a maintenance range where my clothes fit and I feel good about myself. In my head I see that as 130-133, but I may find that I can adjust that if I get close to it again.
4) As I said above, get my balance back. Everywhere.
Now... how am I going to do these things?
I want to remember the things I like about myself. I want to renew my passion for me and the things around me. I want to learn how to loosen my restrictions without losing them completely. I need to relearn moderation and remind myself that I don't need instant gratification. To remember that it is okay to stop eating when I'm full, even if there is food left on the plate or candy in the bag. To get back to exercise, as it makes me feel better about myself and the energy it gives me makes the other things I want to do much easier. I will not reward myself without food. I won't eat out as much and will remember the joy I find in cooking new things.
I will find a balance between being so hard on myself that I close up under the demands of perfection and being stern enough that I have some follow through. I will remember that I have resources here and other places who can help me with this motivation sometimes, that I thrive when I'm sharing my successes and my failures.
I'll look for the things that made me do this in the first place and tap back into them.
I'll do everything I can to stop letting the minutia cover up the big picture.
Thanks, all, for the warm welcome. I'm always trying to find where I fit in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shannon in ATL
I will find a balance between being so hard on myself that I close up under the demands of perfection and being stern enough that I have some follow through.
I just posted almost this exact same sentiment on another thread. I find it hard to find that balance between being too hard on myself and being too self-indulgent.
Saef, there's a great state park somewhere south of Kingston (a friend took me there so I've forgotten the name) that I'd be happy to meet you at. It's got a bunch of carriage trails that go around a lake and is quite lovely. I too would like to find people to do more active stuff with but I don't like being cold, so I'm waiting for spring!
I think my overarching goal for this year is to simply be more active, to be more of a participant in life and less of an observer. I'm going to be 55 this year - not ancient, but old enough to stop frittering away my time. I want to go to NYC and visit some museums, I want to learn some new crafts, I want to run a 5K, I want to volunteer at the food bank. And so I shall!
Resolution: Play more.
Love them. 
