There are a lot of really insightful comments in this thread that I need to remember. I'm so glad I read it.
I have been extremely lucky; everyone around me has been very supportive of my weight loss, and genuinely happy for me. But it has gotten a bit weird in a few places just recently, I think maybe because now my appearance is such that I'm no longer overweight. It was maybe easier for some people to be completely supportive when I was still heavier than they were.
Though I've always thought it was unfair to both of us, my sister was always "the pretty, thin one" and I was "the smart one". We're really close in age (15 months apart), so people tend to compare us directly even though we are VERY different people with different goals and interests. My sister still is and always will be the pretty one (I am rather unattractive, and she is definitely pretty)... but with my weight loss we're physically more similar than we've ever been. She's ~2 inches shorter than I am, but my current weight is about the highest point to which her weight ranges (she goes through cycles of gaining and losing between 115 and 140 lbs)... and while I'm not smaller than her now (she told me she's at 127), I'm worried about what might happen if my weight were ever briefly lower than hers or I was temporarily smaller than she was. She's still very supportive of me, but she'd truly be very, very upset - not at me, but about herself. My mother voiced the same fear when I was visiting last weekend; my sister and I went clothes shopping together (her suggestion), and when we came home my mom whispered to me "I was so worried when I heard you went shopping together... please tell me that she's still wearing smaller sizes than you are". And throughout the weekend my mom kept making comments to me about my shape that were reflective of those same fears about my size in comparison to my sister's. I'm not planning to lose much more weight for several reasons... but if that wasn't the case, the worry about my sister alone would probably keep me from wanting to lose more. She's my dad's "little bit" (his nickname for her since she was young), and I KNOW that if I were the same size it would hurt her and make her feel badly about herself. I never want to be a part of her feeling that way. As proud as I am of what I have done, I would lie to her about my weight or clothing size when she asks to keep her from feeling that way.
ANYWAY... I do agree that typically when people don't seem supportive or seem envious it's because they're reflecting on themselves rather than on you. I know that's always been the case for me when I've compared myself to the size of other women, whether I've been larger or smaller - it has zero to do with them and is no judgment about them, and everything to do with how I feel about myself.
Last edited by chickadee32; 04-22-2012 at 03:06 PM.
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