Conquering the Yo Yo

[ncuneo]

We've all heard it - "the real work starts at maintenance" and I'm hear to tell you - it's true! Weight loss is the easy part. However, I'm begining to believe that we can all conquer our yo yo - the trick is doing it on your terms.

I hit goal last year and then gladly fell 10 lbs below it. I maintained that for about 6 months before things began to fall apart and before I knew it I had gained 15 lbs back durning an intense binge/restrict cycle. And then...something clicked. For me it's about finding a systems that is...wait for it...sustainable! Not a system that keeps me at a particular weight, but a system that I can maintain forever. So after much work, I've developed a program of exercise and caloric intake that is suitable for me and my lifestyle and I've stopped comparing it to others or questioning it.

The result? My weight is dropping again and I'm in my goal range and still losing. I'm not sure where my final weight will level out, and honestly it's not important. I'm happy where I am now and I feel like I am eating, exercising and behaving in a way that is true to me and my desires, habits and lifestyle.

I just wanted to throw this out there because I know so many of us maintainers struggle with the yo yo and it can be quite an emotional roller coaster, but I believe that if you're honest with yourself you can find a place where that yo yo gets smaller. Anywho - hope everyone is well!

[nads84]

i'm so happy to hear that you've found that sweet spot!! that's my goal this coming year too. so far i haven't really engaged in the binge/restrict cycle too often, but i have absolutetly binged whenever i restrict too much so that coupled with reading posts on this site from other maintainers has helped me identify these right away.

like you said we NEED to stop comparing ourselves to others and do what works for us so that we can also maintain our sanity.

I want to accept myself even if I am 10 or 15lbs heavier than I would like to be (goal of 115 that I never reached). I want to accept myself even if I gain five pounds and maintain between 128 and 132. I need to be ok with this. Its MUCH better than being 185/200lbs at less than 5'1. I need to be at peace and the maintenance journey so far has had its moments of calm and its moments of despair.

Lets make 2012 the year we quit beating ourselves up and treat ourselves like we would treat our best friends

cheers.

[Victoriap]

Can you post the maintenance plan that is working so well for you? Thanks.

[sontaikle]

I'm just four days into maintenance and I can already see why it's harder than weight loss. Luckily I've read the posts of all you successful maintainers and I've prepared myself for that.

It's going to be a challenge but I KNOW I can do it.

It's good to hear that you've found something that works for you

[ChickieChicks]

Ditto to Sontaikle! Just starting "maintenance", but I hesitate to call it that b/c i haven't yet figured out what works for me. I am still very slowly losing. I may go down another pound or two, but I'm not trying to lose actively. It's just tricky finding the "magic number" of what to eat, working out, etc.

[JayEll]

Hey ncuneo! I agree with what you've discovered... the only way to stay sane in the long run is not to be ruled by numbers on a scale or numbers of calories. In maintenance, I think the scale should be a tool to use weekly or monthly, not the daily measure of our worth. The same is true for calorie counts. When I first lost weight, I really did need to look up everything! And I'll always look up meals in restaurants, because it's hard to know. But it's too easy to play games with calorie counts.

Concentrating on quality of food and regular exercise is a better path, I think. Those of us who have been working on maintenance for awhile know what we should be eating, and we know how much is too much. We know that weight is easy to gain and hard to lose. We know that overrestricting can lead to overeating. We know that the scale can go up a few pounds on any given day for no reason at all! This should not be a surprise anymore.

And many of us know that flirting with certain types of foods--"triggers"--can set us off in a way that's hard to stop. I have seen people learn and re-learn and re-learn this...

Maintenance is about understanding and accepting our own reality when it comes to food--and not about trying to "be normal" like the people in the ads and magazines, who aren't normal at all. Comparing to others just leads to unhappiness.

I hope things go well for you, ncuneo!
Jay

[pageta]

Great post, ncuneo! I've struggled with this for over a year. I got down to a lower weight (about 20 pounds below where I am now) and then life came down hard and I tested the limits for a year, seeing how much I could eat and not gain weigh (which resulted in weight gain from time to time).

Now I seem to have found my groove again, eating power foods and working out, and I am back on track. It's a much better feeling. I feel much better, and the weight is starting to come off again. My version of the yo-yo was to stabilize for a while and then jump up 5 pounds, then stabilize again.

I feel like I've found my sanity again. I'm paying attention to what I eat, but in a way I can sustain over time. I'm also working out again, also in a way I can sustain over time. That is so comforting.

Congratulations on your success! I am so proud of you!

[kaplods]

I think one of the reasons I kept failing at weight loss most of my life, is that I didn't realize that maintenance isn't something you only do when you've lost all the weight you want to. It can, and may need to start with the very first pound.

From the start, "this time" I decided that maintenance of the weight I had already lost had to take precedence over losing even one more pound. I had to stop dieting in the way that a small gain was no worse than a large gain - so if I started to "blow it" I would feel entitled (almost obligated) to binge and then "start fresh."

I had to realize that there is no starting fresh, just moving on.

I do weigh daily, and probably always will - but it's not a measure of my worth. It's just like brushing my teeth, something I do every day as part of my self-care routine. It;s just a way to remind me to put maintenance first (because my first and foremost goal is to be maintaining what I've already lost. So if I get on the scale and see no change, I'm celebrating that I didn't gain. And if I did gain, I still celebrate the weight that I've maintained. When I can't celebrate a 101 pound loss, I can celebrate 100 or 99. Every day I get to celebrate success though it may not be the same degree of success every day).

In the past, I would never see the success of on-going maintenance, because I didn't consider maintenance something to think about until all the weight was gone. So while I was losing, if I'd lost 60 lbs, but had gained one - I felt the failure of gaining one pound, but not the success of maintaining a 59 pound loss.

I can honestly say that even though my weight loss has never been nearly this slow (all other weight loss attempts were 5 to 10 times faster - or more), I have never seriously considered quitting - because I always feel successful.

Even when I gain 6 to 10 lbs during TOM (which I always do), even when I gain from overinduging, I don't feel the failure, because I'm always celebrating the success first-and-foremost.

It's kind of crazy, because the success of losing pales in comparison to the success of maintenance. While my average weight loss has only been a couple pounds a month, with water-weight gain (and loss) I've lost and gained as much as 10 lbs in a week. Even a 10 lb gain can't destroy the success of having maintained a 91 lb loss. And even a 10 lb loss can't beat the success of maintaing 101 lb loss.

I've found that the maintenance numbers are inherently more rewarding than the losses - but only because I value maintenance more than losses, and that's not something we're typically taught or encouraged to do.

In the past I always looked at what I still had left to do, and didn't value what I'd already done. It made me feel like I was failing, even though I wasn't.

[evilwomaniamshe]

Yeah ncuneo,
thrilled ya shortened up that yoyo string! AWESOME!

[lin43]

Like kaplods, I started with behaviors that I thought that I could continue longterm. That way, the change didn't seem so drastic and difficult.

I do not believe in a "one size fits all" approach. So, some folks do just fine weighing every day, and doing so does not mean that they are obsessive or "ruled by numbers." Personally, I don't weigh that often, but that's because it doesn't work well for me to do so. I do feel as if I need to be very aware of my calories, though because I know my limitations (poor estimating) and accept them. For now, I feel as if it's a small sacrifice for a big pay-off.

Like you, ncuneo, I am trying to find my "sweet" spot after having hit below my goal weight about a month ago without even initially realizing it (because I had not weighed myself from the start).

[ncuneo]

Thanks everyone! I forgot to mention a key component is the support of all of you!

Victoriap - my plan is essentially a calorie cycle of two low days, three moderate days and two high pretty much unrestricted days. I try to align these days with my workouts to help fuel my activities. So even though a day might be unrestricted, it's almost necessary. I'm a distance runner so fueling is important. Finding the calorie level was a bit of trial and error. I try to get a clean as possible and eat vegetarian 1 - 3xs a week.

All that said I still enjoy my "triggers" but am becoming very aware of when I can and cannot indulge in them and if I decide to partake when I know I shouldn't to know that a binge will likely ensue. And if it does I am quick to move on and not dwell upon it and get right back into my healthy habits. I try very hard to leave the guilt out of it when it happens because that is never productive for me.

Something else that was important was not weighing daily anymore. I weigh 1 - 2xs a week. This honestly was a savior for me. It was hard to do and I actually broke the habit because my scale batteries died and I couldn't weigh for like 4 weeks. It was such a calming freeing experience I can't tell you how important this was for me. I hope that I'm able to remember what I learned from it forever

[indiblue]

Congrats! It sounds like you are in a wonderfully sweet spot indeed ^_^

And thank you for sharing your plan. I feel foolish that I am just now staring to considering calorie cycling a tool of maintenance. For some reason "maintenance" conjures up the same thing every day to me. But for me it makes so much sense... some days I just want to eat more than others, some days less. There's no reason every day should be the same. That's not... wait for it... sustainable!

[lin43]

Originally Posted by ncuneo

. . . my plan is essentially a calorie cycle of two low days, three moderate days and two high pretty much unrestricted days.

This is very similar to what I do. I find that I like having the 2-3 low days because it sort of keeps me on my toes, diet-wise.