Planned treat gone wrong

luckymommy · 10-02-2011, 11:03 AM

Hello fellow chicks,

As you may have read, I was trying to find a way to control my binges by having a planned treat meal once a week and yesterday was the day. Unfortunately, with my warped/twisted mentality, I wasn't able to apply it the way I had hoped. My husband felt very sick with a terrible migraine and he went to bed and all heck broke loose. I started eating everything in sight....even things I don't really enjoy. The plan was that we would go to a restaurant and have something there in a somewhat controlled setting, but when he went to bed, I knew that wasn't going to happen and maybe a part of me just couldn't handle it. I have no idea. I consumed a whole lot of calories and there was none of the dignity and grace involved that I had hoped for. The upside is that I'm back on track this morning and have already had a good workout. I'm not giving up though....I will try again next week. I hope that with some practice, I'll be able to eat more normally. Thanks for listening.

JessLess · 10-02-2011, 11:56 AM

Congratulations for getting right back on track and recognizing your triggers.

yoyoma · 10-02-2011, 12:06 PM

I'm so sorry your plan didn't work out. It's great that you got back on plan so quickly -- in fact it's terrific!!! Way to go!

I guess you will need a backup plan in cases that you can't follow through. Maybe you should plan a takeout meal and limit your indulgence to the meal that you plan (no extras from the pantry). Just a suggestion... you may need to try something else. Good luck finding something that works for you!

runningfromfat · 10-02-2011, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yoyoma

I'm so sorry your plan didn't work out. It's great that you got back on plan so quickly -- in fact it's terrific!!! Way to go!

I guess you will need a backup plan in cases that you can't follow through. Maybe you should plan a takeout meal and limit your indulgence to the meal that you plan (no extras from the pantry). Just a suggestion... you may need to try something else. Good luck finding something that works for you!

I agree with this. Or what about ordering a pizza? Something so you still get a treat but so you don't go nuts either...

luckymommy · 10-02-2011, 04:11 PM

Yes, in the future, I'll try to either order something or just to purchase something in advance? The truth is that I don't know if I would have been able to prevent this even if I had a pizza. I had that out of control situation going and I can't make sense out of it at this point. I really hope that next week, I'll do better. If not, I'll have to rethink the whole thing and figure out another way.

Emme · 10-03-2011, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckymommy

Yes, in the future, I'll try to either order something or just to purchase something in advance? The truth is that I don't know if I would have been able to prevent this even if I had a pizza. I had that out of control situation going and I can't make sense out of it at this point. I really hope that next week, I'll do better. If not, I'll have to rethink the whole thing and figure out another way.

I've had those moments all too often. I'll order something or go out and eat something, but then I'll still go crazy with everything in the house. I'm glad you jumped right back on the wagon.

saef · 10-03-2011, 10:46 AM

Hey, Luckymommy, I don't know about you, but for me, binges nearly always occur when I am alone. Either I'm left alone by others, and in the emptiness, somehow lose control. Or I go off by myself, to be alone with the food & do things to it that I don't want anyone else to see, whether in fast, messy eating or in eyebrow-raising quantities. So, for me, one of the danger signs is being alone. This is why I advise having your "leeway day" as part of a social event, in the company of others. This not only normalizes it, turning it into just another part of a full life, which includes eating alongside others & enjoying oneself, but also gets you out of that scenario of woman alone stuffing herself, just because she can and no one is watching. There is no pleasure in that, just a nearly automatic joyless mechanical movement in response to the sudden & unusual removal of customary restraints.

Mudpie · 10-03-2011, 04:35 PM

If you were looking forward to the treat meal with your hubby then would his being sick and having to bail on you have triggered your binge? I find that, if I get upset by something or don't get to do something I find really pleasureable that I planned I am much more likely to binge eat.

Glad you're back on track!

Dagmar

linJber · 10-03-2011, 10:50 PM

I've been lurking in the maintenance section for a while. I've decided to put a slow-down on my weight loss and see what happens and thought I'd get input in here. I'm saying this to let you know I don't really have any maintenance experience yet.

LuckyMommy - I'm not sure how long you've been maintaining, but I think we all have days like you described. We had them when we were at our heaviest, we had them while we were "dieting," and we will have them when we are at goal. Thin people have days like this, too. I think the key is to realize that and move on.

Yes, we have to try to learn why we do this and try to prevent it from happening too often. I'll bet what you actually ate was less than it seemed to you because you are trying so hard to stay on plan, day after day (at least I assume you are since I don't really "know" many of the people in this part of 3fc yet) and you are probably harder on yourself than you need to be. Does that make sense? No matter what you ate, you realized even as you were doing it that it was not what you really wanted to do. Sometimes it all tastes so good, or feels so good to "be bad." I'm not sure which is worse! The important thing is you know what to do to fix it and you will.

I know I can't always pull a good meal out of thin air when I had plans to go out and they fall through. A good back-up plan might be some frozen meals (packaged or home made) that you can go to in an emergency. Easy to say, harder to do, especially when your brain was in "treat" mode. Someone in the other forum I visit said something to the effect that the food will still be there tomorrow so we don't have to try to eat it all today. When I get "munchy" I try to remember that. And I try to make one choice at a time. Not a whole day - just one choice.

Hope your DH is feeling better. And I hope you snap right back after a day of being off plan.

Lin

luckymommy · 10-04-2011, 06:57 PM

Thanks to ya'll for the thoughtful responses. I have to confess that I didn't end up going right back on track. I did, but only until dinner time the next day. We were planning to go out for sushi but when we got there, the restaurant was closed so we ended up going to a pizza place...uh-oh....pizza....I started justifying this to myself that I can handle it and I deserve some pizza because I"m a "normal" person! Ha! That's a laugh and a half!

I ate pizza and had some of my kid's pizza and then I went out for frozen yogurt with a topping. Then when I got home, I had more food until I was (un)comfortably numb. :/

Anyhow, yes, Saef, I do tend to binge more when alone but hubby has a binge issue as well and so sometimes, we'll binge together. Aren't we a special couple?

Luckily, I did great yesterday. Truly I was proud of myself. I ate very well and worked out a whole bunch ,making me feel a lot better.

Sorry this is such a saga! Today, my best friend called me in tears with a major personal problem. She knows I can't eat breakfast out or it kind of blows my day but she asked and I agreed. I ordered something healthy....an english muffin with crab. I asked for no hollandaise sauce and no butter on the muffin. They put the sauce on the side, but the butter was still on there, so I ate it. And guess what? I was fine. It filled me up a lot and I've been on track with my calories today. I'm sticking to my workouts and all is going great.

This weekend....I'm planning to have some pumpkin pie from Costco. I know it's crazy but I'll try to have it with my family and just have everyone finish it in one shot. Why the pumpkin pie from there? It's my favorite and I like it so much that I wait for it every year.

linJibr....thanks so much for your comments. I'm so glad you've joined us here at the maintenance forum.

Your success is inspirational!

Glory87 · 10-05-2011, 12:43 AM

Breakfast is one of the easiest meals to eat out, for me. I always get two scrambled eggs, dry wheat toast, side of fruit. I ask for salsa to put on my eggs.

Easy peasy - less than 500 calories. Every breakfast place has this stuff.

luckymommy · 10-05-2011, 10:47 PM

Thanks Glory! I actually can't eat a large breakfast because that in and of itself will set off feelings of guilty and make me want to binge the entire day. I appreciate the suggestion though!

I save calories from breakfast into dinner. Ideally, I'd have dinner out and then go home and head to bed in order to limit my waking time and possible feelings of guilt....which I experience even if something is planned.

Glory87 · 10-06-2011, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckymommy

Thanks Glory! I actually can't eat a large breakfast because that in and of itself will set off feelings of guilty and make me want to binge the entire day. I appreciate the suggestion though!

I save calories from breakfast into dinner. Ideally, I'd have dinner out and then go home and head to bed in order to limit my waking time and possible feelings of guilt....which I experience even if something is planned.

Hmmm, I guess it's a mental switch to go from weight loss to maintenance. I don't consider 500 calories of restaurant food to be a large meal - restaurant food can easily surpass 1000+ calories, so I consider this a good breakfast. Nothing to be guilty about at all.

During maintenance, my daily goal is 1800 calories. 500 calories for breakfast lunch and dinner, 2 snacks (100 calories each) and 100 calories of "float" (to handle the little ups and downs of calorie counting).

For me, maintenance and "normal life" means occasionally going out for meals. Since I go out to eat so much, I must make good choices. A 500 calorie breakfast of healthy foods is perfect.

I definitely understand the mental difficulty of moving from weight loss to maintenance and the agony of wondering "can I eat this" "can I eat that" "is this too much". It probably took me a year to feel comfortable and confident with a maintenance level of calories.