Silver, I get emotionally attached to some of our long term members too and it breaks my heart when people just disappear. Especially when I can check their stats and see that they're logging on and reading, but not posting. So I try to reach out to let them know that it's OK if they've had a regain, that no one here would ever look down on them for it, and that we would welcome them back with open arms.
Of course, people leave for different reasons and not everyone responds to me, but of those who do, I'd say that weight regain is the #1 reason that people stop posting. In reality, it's the #1 reason why people should keep posting.
Of course, people leave for different reasons and not everyone responds to me, but of those who do, I'd say that weight regain is the #1 reason that people stop posting. In reality, it's the #1 reason why people should keep posting.
From my own experience of being a past regainer, I couldn't agree more.
I was never a regular poster on 3FC, but I stopped lurking for several years while regaining. I didn't like my old stats staring me in the face but I also felt awkward about updating them. Instead of feeling like a failure each time I logged in, I opted to stick my head in the sand. I also stopped weighing myself which was the worst decision for me of all.
I felt sheepish and embarrassed when I came back even though I was too sporadic a poster for anyone to remember me or vice versa, but I'm very glad I did. It's very helpful to me to read these forums to remind myself of the pitfalls of maintenance, but also that it can be done.
Edited addition -
I posted on the UK forum whilst taking the regained weight off, but I would have been interested in a regainers forum too.
I don't like it when people disappear, either. It is amazing how many familiar names fade during a year's time!
As for me, staying at least somewhat active on this forum helps me remain mindful when it comes to maintaining losses. I'm not all the way to my goal yet - and won't be for a while, I don't think, as I figure out this triathlon training - but not regaining what has been lost is critical even midstream like I am.
Just so you know, I have reached goal & continue to maintain. I am not an old timer, & please don't take this as complaining or criticizing, but when I posted on the maintainers intro thread & posted comments on a couple of threads, this board was extremely slow & I got no welcome or response to comments, so I didn't check back for a long time. I am glad I did check today. It's good to see that 'maintainers' is more active now. Maybe the folks you are missing just checked in at the wrong time & saw the lack of interest that I did. I just moved on to a more active forum that's a good fit for me. I certainly hope that the maintainers you are missing are still maintaining. Here's sending them & all of you good thoughts.
Height: 5 foot 2 and a half (Don't forget the half lol!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg
Silver, I get emotionally attached to some of our long term members too and it breaks my heart when people just disappear.
It's not just me, then. On sparkpeople it hurts when I delete a 'friend' off. I see their page, think of their journey, and wonder what happened. There are a few people I'll never delete because it would be like giving up on them, especially when some DO return years later (I am one of them). People who met their goals return when they regain, and people who didn't meet their goals return when they relapse/regain.
When I first found this forum and just HAD to read through every page (sad, I know...), I noticed how certain people gradually stopped posting and others took their place.
If you've regained, don't be afraid to come out! No one will judge you.
Last edited by Heavenseventeen; 01-21-2011 at 07:47 AM.
Reason: second paragraph
For what it's worth, I'm around! I just often feel like there's not much I can add to a lot of current threads, or if it's been a day or two, by the time I get to them, they've kind of moved on, you know?
Just so you know, I have reached goal & continue to maintain. I am not an old timer, & please don't take this as complaining or criticizing, but when I posted on the maintainers intro thread & posted comments on a couple of threads, this board was extremely slow & I got no welcome or response to comments, so I didn't check back for a long time. I am glad I did check today. It's good to see that 'maintainers' is more active now. Maybe the folks you are missing just checked in at the wrong time & saw the lack of interest that I did. I just moved on to a more active forum that's a good fit for me. I certainly hope that the maintainers you are missing are still maintaining. Here's sending them & all of you good thoughts.
I just read this and wanted to respond.
Joyful retiree - I looked back and found your intro post and wanted to let you know why I didn't respond to it. I log into the forum and go straight to the Living Maintenance forum. When that happens I see the threads in that forum in the main list, at the top I see a bold face type with the newest post in the Maintainer's Introductions sections - all threads in that section, not just the 'welcome'. I never go straight there. So, as a result I never saw that you had posted a new post in welcome, it had been replaced in the blurb by another thread. I'm sorry that you felt like no one was paying attention, and I'm going to make an effort to go to the Maintainer's Introductions section to check in more often for new posts. I feel like our Maintainer's forum is pretty active, and I hate that you didn't feel welcome. Sorry.
I get sad when I see people disappear, absolutely. I worry about them - Lilybelle, for example. But I know that it is an online forum, so people drop out all the time.
I need the support network here to keep me focused, here and one other site where I'm active. I use the maintainer's forum and the weight and resistance forum to help me stay on track with my diet and exercise, also for a social outlet to chat with people with similar interests.
On the idea of a regainer's thread and the featherweights section... I remember when we started the 'Operation 5-10' thread people commented that we already had Featherweights, and that was what it was for and questioned why we needed a new thread. I remember commenting at the time that it felt different to be discussing losing 5-10 pounds that we had regained rather than 5-10 pounds we were still trying to lose to reach goal, which was my perception of featherweights. So now, we are talking about a regainer's thread and the question is why do we need a new thread, we already have 'Operation 5-10'? Perception I think. I can see where it would feel somewhat disingenuous to post there if you are looking at a large amount of weight regained, would feel different from the posted goal. Either way, I love the 'Operation 5-10' thread, and I think the regainer's thread is a great idea, too.
Maybe we could rename the thread? Call it 'Operation Back to Goal' or something like that?
Shannon, Thanks for you reply. I wasn't offended by no welcome, & I certainly meant no offense when I posted earlier. This whole bulletin board is a very friendly, but some of the areas are more active than others, & I simply thought this one not very active & moved on.
Height: 5 foot 2 and a half (Don't forget the half lol!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shannon in ATL
On the main thread topic...
I get sad when I see people disappear, absolutely. I worry about them - Lilybelle, for example. But I know that it is an online forum, so people drop out all the time.
I need the support network here to keep me focused, here and one other site where I'm active. I use the maintainer's forum and the weight and resistance forum to help me stay on track with my diet and exercise, also for a social outlet to chat with people with similar interests.
On the idea of a regainer's thread and the featherweights section... I remember when we started the 'Operation 5-10' thread people commented that we already had Featherweights, and that was what it was for and questioned why we needed a new thread. I remember commenting at the time that it felt different to be discussing losing 5-10 pounds that we had regained rather than 5-10 pounds we were still trying to lose to reach goal, which was my perception of featherweights. So now, we are talking about a regainer's thread and the question is why do we need a new thread, we already have 'Operation 5-10'? Perception I think. I can see where it would feel somewhat disingenuous to post there if you are looking at a large amount of weight regained, would feel different from the posted goal. Either way, I love the 'Operation 5-10' thread, and I think the regainer's thread is a great idea, too.
Maybe we could rename the thread? Call it 'Operation Back to Goal' or something like that?
who post every day and never go away (or get to goal 
).
On sparkpeople it hurts when I delete a 'friend' off. I see their page, think of their journey, and wonder what happened. There are a few people I'll never delete because it would be like giving up on them, especially when some DO return years later (I am one of them). People who met their goals return when they regain, and people who didn't meet their goals return when they relapse/regain.
