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Old 07-20-2010, 01:38 PM   #1  
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Default Exercise did the trick...

Yesterday was a tough day. Actually the past couple months have been tough mentally. Food has been a big pre-occupation and my stupid inner voice has been chanting "I don't care" way too often. Am I maintaining? Yes but that is besides the point. This is a mind game and my mind has been losing the battle. I will win the war but it's been way more difficult then when I was losing. I'm a couple months away from a year of maintaining BUT lately it has been getting harder. I expect hard but all consuming munchie thoughts? It has to stop and more importantly taking little samples when the "I don't care" voice reigns over my will has to stop.

When I started my journey I made a deal with myself - I wouldn't start if I didn't promise to log the rest of my life. I've kept that deal. A marshmallow here, a cherry there. Here an almond, there a pretzel, and everywhere an M&M. They are all logged.

So yesterday the voice was trumping me left and right. I was depressed about money (where the heck does it all go???). And seriously we have no money problems compared to the majority in this economy so I really had no reason to be depressed. But regardless I was.

DH came home and saw me staring at Quicken and I wasn't in my exercise clothes. We talked money then he asked why I wasn't exercising. BTW, he is my true conscience. I said I didn't want to. I was over my calories for where I want to be at that point in the day. So he goes to work on my ailing Jeep and I'm still sitting at the computer.

I eventually close the laptop and make my way to the elliptical. I start my 30 minute workout, morosely blobbing my way. Not a lot of effort was put forth. I lament that my calories were going to be 350 over the mark. At minute 9, DH walks by and he congratulates me for getting on with it. I respond by saying I really don't want to do it. At minute 15, something clicks. I swear I heard the pity machine turn off. I pushed my effort up and suddenly I was having fun. At minute 22 I think about my calories and my choices. If I did this and that, I could make my target. Now I'm pushing on the elliptical, working up a sweat. When I was done, my quads were noodles and I'm nearly euphoric. I felt like something was finally right in my thinking.

I tell DH that I'm having 1/2 a grilled cheese sandwich and fruit for dinner and he's on his own, that he'd promised that if I overate during the day, that I could do what I did while he was on swing shift. No problem he says. I am so blessed to have the most supportive cheerleader. During dinner I show him my iPhone and the calorie log - I said, look at the breakfast entries. He read them aloud. It was really nauseating what I munched on at work.

To make my long story even longer - I made my calorie limit yesterday. And I didn't wake up this morning ravenous. Just a new day with a fresh set of calories to work with. It's 10:30 in the morning and I haven't munched on anything extra. Heck I forgot to finish my breakfast (I'd put it in the fridge when I went to the hair appointment).

I truly know that I would have been over the calorie limit yesterday if I hadn't exercised. I truly feel that I would be letting that "I don't care" devil take over my thoughts again today if I hadn't pushed myself to exercise when I didn't want to.

There are so many thoughts on what makes a successful maintainer. And each is correct for different maintainers. For me, exercise is what did, is, and will make me success on my journey. It is the cog that makes the rest fall into place.

Marie
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Old 07-20-2010, 03:22 PM   #2  
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: congrat:

Congratulations, Marie!! Fantastic post - way to conquer the emotions & take control.

I really needed to read your post, too. I'm only on week 6 of maintenance, and already I feel the poor habits creeping in. Like you, I'm logging it all - sweets, treats, and salty crunchies. Every bite gets logged. I'm typically not over my calorie allotment for the day, but I just don't feel good about the composition of my diet & am having trouble turning it off. I am scared it is a slippery slope back to fatdome...and I'm quite certain I do not have the energy to climb back up that mountain if I go there.

So, like you, I am exercising. I take a "no excuses" policy with myself. It may be 4:50am or 11:30pm, but if I haven't gotten at least 30 minutes in somewhere, I'm gonna do it. Sleep deprived, depressed, frustrated, worried - all if it just melts away as I concentrate on using my body the way it was designed to be used. Sweaty and tired, my mood is ALWAYS improved and I'm able to look at myself & not criticize quite so harshly.

I had a great food day yesterday. Today has been harder, but not off the rails. There is a long night ahead with 2 tired kids & a tired mommy after a looooooong day at work, but I will pick myself up & not let food be my comfort. I have loads & loads to do, so I'll just keep busy & I'm hopeful that this phase will pass & I'll have new insights at the end of it.

So, thank you for posting about your experience. I am sorry things have been tough; I am also so impressed at how you literally worked through it!!

Cheryl
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Old 07-20-2010, 04:43 PM   #3  
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Cheryl on Maintenance. Maybe it's something to do with that Minnesota air. I grew up in Minnesota and will be there in 1.5 weeks.

Anyway, it was so cool reading your post. The "just don't feel good about the composition of my diet & am having trouble turning it off" is exactly what I've been fighting. In my head, I know a good chunk of my choices are unwise. That I should be fueling my body but I'm feeding my emotions. Your words are exactly right on with me.

I keep hoping this phase will pass as you mentioned and I'm starting to think it won't. That I will always have this munchie monster inhabiting my brain. I just have to be stronger.

Last night when I showed DH my log, even his unhealthy eating choice eyes went bug-eyed. today I will show him my angelic log. As I wrote yesterday, something just clicked. It was actually the same click that happened two years ago this coming August. I felt it to my core. Now just so my side doesn't come flip the switch again.

Good luck getting that exercise in. It would be so much harder with little kids. I'm so regimented in my routine that is why DH knew I hadn't exercised and that something was wrong. Get home from work, take care of the dogs then exercise (in my mind I hear the "Do not pass go. Do not collect $200). When I vary the routine, then I get screwed up. Tonight it is home and HIIT workout. I'm looking forward to it.
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Old 07-20-2010, 05:37 PM   #4  
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Great post Marie. I battle with these inner demons on an almost daily basis. I've been fighting the munchies for awhile now. Getting too consumed about food. Sometimes while I'm eating I'll be thinking about what I will eat next. It may be healthy choices-- but it's too much!

I try to come to 3FCs when I feel the munchies overtaking me. Reading a few great posts like this one help to remotivate me.

I didn't feel at all like exercising this morning. I just felt like going back to bed. Of course after I exercised I felt better, more energy, etc.
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Old 07-20-2010, 10:38 PM   #5  
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I hope that the MN weather is fabulous when you are here, Marie! How did your HIIT workout go?

Michele - I did giggle a little when I read your "I didn't feel like working out this morning" comment because I NEVER feel like working out in the morning! I am so not a morning person, but I have found that it gives me so much energy to make it through my day & just starts things off right. So, I detest when my alarm goes off, but I do it anyway. I know how guilt-ridden I'll feel the rest of the day if I give into the "I'm too tired" business.

Have a great night everyone. I'm going to attempt to get a decent night's sleep. I know that sleep deprivation has serious impact on my ability to maintain perspective & to control my food. Neither of which are good for me or my family...so I guess some things will wait until tomrrow and for now, I'm headed to bed.

Cheryl
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Old 07-20-2010, 11:48 PM   #6  
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Michele, I've been reading all the maintainer's forum for a few weeks. So much incredible insight. Truly it was helpful to deviate the munching monster. Thing is, I knew it was temporary. I needed to find the passion that started me on the journey so it wouldnt be so all consuming hard to resist temptation. Exercise is my foundation but 3FC comes a close second.

Cheryl, I hope MN weather is nice the first week of August. I like hot but I hate humid. Since hot and humid usually describe a MN August day, I'll be out of luck. DH and I are planning to go to Valleyfair with his sister and her family. A day at the waterpark will be fun. And rollercoasters. I love rollercoasters.

The HIIT workout was good. I was motivated and even did a little strength work afterwards. I've been lax on that until I see the orthopedist about my shoulder. Weights make it worse so I took that as invitation to not do any. Today I did the exercises that don't hurt my shoulder. BTW, I hate strength training.

BTW, I'm a morning exerciser. Since it is hot and I have 4 huskies, we have to do the 1.5 mile hike in the morning instead of after work. I'd rather my "real" workout was in the morning but enjoying the dawn with my dogs and DH isn't a bad way to start the day. The sunrises over the mountains the last couple days have been spectacular.

My food cals were a little lower than target but that was ok. I didn't snack on anything that wasn't thought out. Major progress and such a relief.

Cheryl, I hope you get a good night's sleep. Being tired is another trigger for me as well. Although I think nearly anything is a food trigger for me. As my sister chants "I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm mad. I eat when I'm glad."
Marie
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Old 07-21-2010, 09:03 PM   #7  
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Marie, I'm so glad you posted this problem AND its solution. I'm in the right time and the right place to fully appreciate it. THANK YOU!!!!
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