I haven't been around much this week. I had hoped to have happy news to share - Jason and I found out we were pregnant right before Christmas. We had our first ultrasound on Monday and got bad news, apparently I had a blighted ovum and an embryo never developed. I decided it would be too hard for me to wait and let nature take its course, and my doctor was wonderful and scheduled me for a D&C yesterday. There was very little discomfort (now I have a little guilt that it should have been much more terrible). I did take my first vicodin yesterday, and Jason says it's a bad idea to become a vicodin fan on Facebook, but it was pretty awesome - Dr. Gregory House should not practice medicine on that stuff!
I have been eating for comfort this week, but I need to get back on track. We're still getting married on 2-20 (something good to look forward to!). The alterations are finished on my dress and I get to pick it up tomorrow, I was so worried it wouldn't fit because of the baby, now I don't want to worry it won't fit because I've been eating smores! (Jason got this little fun microwave smores kit for Christmas and I've been eating them).
I'm trying to be easy/good to myself. We were so happy and excited to get pregnant - I'm 40 and really feeling like we are running out of time (like I told Jason, it's not just a biological clock ticking, it's a full on Hunchback of Notre Dame ringing the bells kind of a thing). It's been a long time since I've felt like emotional eating, or feeling like I should eat something because I deserve it because "something bad happened". I have nothing but healthy stuff for today. I think I will have some wine this weekend though, of course I haven't had any since before Christmas!
I just keep reminding myself that food might taste good, but it is not truly comfort.
Monday was very very sad, but Jason has been a total rock and we are getting better every day. The doctor said early miscarriages are common and there is no reason why we can't try again. After the sadness of untelling friends/family, I am definitely going to wait until we see the heartbeat next time!
Oh no. That's so sad. I'm sorry. How wonderful that you are able to move forward - looking forward to your wedding to someone you love and who loves you. Even if you have may have low points in your day here and there you have a great attitude and you two will pull through! Blessings to you guys!
It seems to me to be a good sign that you're not being too hard on yourself for eating at this time & that you seem to understand what's happening.
Please don't go silent. I've so enjoyed your posts. Your words have always really "spoken" to me through my computer screen, and though I don't know you, I wish you well in this difficult time.
Hey all
I'm so sorry Glory. 
