[Ellie R]

Hi Guys,

Hope you don't mind me posing a question to you all.
(I hope to be joining you here soon in this forum, if you'll have me!!)

I have been posting in a couple of threads about this whole issue recently, so though I would ask you guys.

Have any of you had several previous large losses, and then put it all back on - what was different for you this time?

Also, anyone here who lost weight quickly, but still managed to keep it off?

For me, though I can't say for sure yet, as I haven't lost it all, but what seeems to be different is that the maintaining bit has been at the forefront of my mind the whole time, a second phase I want to start, if you will.
The awful fear has been ever present that I might actually let myself put all the weight on again, so I have forced myself to deal with thinking about maintenance more this time (have lost over 100lbs twice before, and other large amounts twice as well).
I amn't a fan of the slow and steady approach when it comes to weighloss - I know, I know... that's not a popular attitude, but it's the only way I am able to do it, so I plan to have a kind of Phase 2 A, where I give myself a couple of months building back to the level of Calories which I can eat at my target weight, before moving on to B actual maintenance at a normal level of calories and excercise.

Would be very interested to hear from those of you who answer yes to either of my two questions - and of course anyone else with a tuppence to throw in!!

Thanks Guys

Ellie

[Meg]

Hi Ellie and to Maintainers! We'd love to have you join us now for your transition to maintenance, so feel to join in!

In answer to your questions, I think most of us have been up and down the weight roller coaster a few times before we got this whole maintenance thing figured out. I got down to 164 after my DD was born (my lowest adult weight) but got pregnant again and put it all back on, plus 30 pounds. But mostly I was one who would lose 25 or 30 pounds, give up, and put it all back on. I've lost literally hundreds of pounds in my life this way.

I can remember sitting in Weight Watchers meeting and actively tuning out any discussion of maintenance. You see, I *knew* that once I got to goal, I'd be a completely transformed person and would just naturally be able to keep the weight off. Chocolate chip cookies? Heavens, no, I'd be craving broccoli and tofu. Keeping the weight off would be easy and effortless. The hard work was losing the weight, of course. Then the job would be done.

Reality bites, doesn't it? I couldn't have been more wrong.

What was different this time?

1. Exercise was and is a big part of my weight loss. I learned to love how my body works and got hooked on endorphins. My only exercise in other attempts had been easy walking. Now I loved being a mom with muscles!

2. I lost all my excess weight and got down to the weight I was in junior high school. It was my dream weight and I was/am willing to fight very hard to maintain there. After 46 years of feeling fat, I was finally "normal" and wasn't about to give that up. I lost 122 pounds of fat but a million pounds of baggage. No way I was going back.

3. I've created a new self-image of myself. It used to be that I measured my value as what a good wife or mom I was. Being in charge of school projects, chairing the PTA, baking the best Christmas cookies, having a spotless house, making every birthday and holiday special ... It all revolved around me taking care of other people. And I was kind of the PS at the end of it all and took care of myself with food, which is quick and easy.

Thinking about it, I suppose that I felt I was unworthy because I was so fat. So I had to compensate by being the best everything else. I never paid attention to my clothes or makeup because I wanted to be invisible. "Look at my good deeds", I wanted to say, "not me".

What changed was I learned how to carve out time for myself to go to the gym every day. It's the "me time". My thinking time. I can work through issues and stress and come out feeling like a million dollars. I learned how to say no. I've learned that the world goes on when the cat fur is a foot deep in the corners.

My whole mental picture of myself has changed with weight loss. I don't feel inferior to anyone (which is huge). I feel strong (both mentally and physically) and confident. I'm a person who works out and eats healthy. That's my self-image. I'm no longer a person who eats a box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting. That's not me.

Gosh, this is getting long, but you got me thinking!

In a sense, I think it's all tied up with losing weight fairly quickly (in reference to your other question). Many people here have had great success in a slower, baby step approach. I was different and changed everything, overnight. I did a total 180 in almost every aspect of my life. In a sense, it was like dying and being reborn on June 1, 2001, as a different person. It was scary and exciting at the same time because I was taking a chance on giving up who I was for the promise of something better.

I averaged 2.4 pounds a week, faster in the beginning, a lot slower at the end. I'm not sure if that's fast or not. Had I had posted today about what I was doing, I'd be lectured about starvation mode but back in 2001, no one was talking about it. And obviously, lots of exercise and low calories didn't have any bad effects since I'm still happily maintaining all these years later.

If I had to do it again, I'd do it exactly the same way. Wouldn't change a thing besides adding in HIIT (something else that wasn't being talked about in 2001). I'm a person who needed to see results on the scale. I had so far to go that losing a pound a week would have made me give up a long time ago.

So I guess you can say that I'm one who lost it fairly quickly and have managed to keep it off.

But what it all comes down to -- and what keeps me from regaining the weight -- is if I gained the weight back, then who would I be? The old Meg has been dead for more than eight years. I don't eat cans of Pringles at 10 pm as my reward after the kids are in bed. I don't wear giant T shirts to disguise my butt. I don't think about my weight every minute of every day and feel the burden of fat dragging behind me like a ball and chain. This is not me.

My favorite dinner is salmon and green beans. I work out every day. I don't eat sugar. I wear size 4 and buy way too many clothes. I'm not afraid of calling attention to myself. This is who I am.

If I gained back 122 pounds, I would lose all of that. I would lose myself -- who I am. The essence of me. It's been more than eight years since I was morbidly obese. Why would I ever permit myself to go back to that place of pain and humiliation?

I apologize for the length of this! Once I started to answer your questions, a lot came pouring out. You can see that this maintenance business is complicated stuff, so we really would love to have you stick around and keeping posting with us. We'll get it all sorted out together!

[yoyoma]

Meg, please go on for as long as you want! As a repeat loser and aspiring maintainer, I am all ears to hear about what made "this time" different.

I think you are onto something with the concept of a new identity. My change has been less dramatic, and more evolutionary, but I am a different person from who I was at the start of my journey and I think that is important.

Thanks for the insights and thanks to Ellie for posting the topic!

[Ellie R]

Thanks Meg, I really appreciate you taking the time to post.
I am exactly the same in that for me a lb a week just doen't cut it on the scales, so it is really good to see that you have maintained after a similarly quick weightloss to mine.

It's tough, the whole thing, isn't it! My mantra at the moment is - just get to target weight, and I think it's interesting what you say about achieving the 'dream weight' and as a result being prepared to fight hard to stay there. that has been a big thing for me this time, as though I lost lots and was relatively slim in the past (about what I am now) I hadn't got to that dream weight, so it was easier to let it slide. I had been thinking that this was maybe another excuse of mine!

The re-birth thing is interesting too, I have had a pretty drastic transformation in a short amount of time, people (obviously not people I know very well), but acquaintances, literally don't recognise me, this happens usually once a week, and though I tell myself it is kind of getting old - I secretly love that!.
I worry sometimes that I am addicted to the praise and compliments and attention when I lose weight. This is one of many theories I have as to why I keep re-gaining!

Ah, I could go on forever, anyway the point was, thanks Meg for your response it has made me feel a little more secure and positive.
x

[bargoo]

I was one who could lose, over and over again, The problem was that I regained it over and over again. I knew how to lose, I didn't know how to keep it off. When I started coming here I wondered about those who had lost a lot of weight and kept it off for a significant amount of time. How did they do it I wondered. The answer was amazingly simple. They kept it off by doing what they did to lose it. What concept !! Obviously they knew something I didn't. This was a light bulb moment. I still count calories, I still plan all my days meals ahead of time., I still keep a food log., I still weigh myself daily, I still exercise. It has been 23 months today since I have mainained my weight loss. I might add that doing all this daily is a minor inconvenience compared to what it would be if I regained it all back, plus more. I do not want to continue the pattern of the past, lose , regain, be miserable for awhile and start all over again. No thanks !

[Glory87]

Wow, when you said "just get to target weight" that set off all sorts of alarm bells for me. Getting to target weight is winning the first skirmish in a life long battle. I don't want to freak you out, because maintenance is so worth it, but it is work. It is work that doesn't end.

I kind of get what you're saying about the compliments and praise. I also really enjoyed them. Since I've maintained, I've moved to a new city and no one here knows I was heavy. I've had to replace the praise with other things - like shopping!

On to the questions!

Have any of you had several previous large losses, and then put it all back on - what was different for you this time?

Yes, I started dieting when I was 15. I lost weight, regained, gained more weight all the way up to 200 lbs.

Two things always happened:

1. I would reach a goal weight, stop and eat "normally" and regain all the weight
2. I would get frustrated, overly restrict, binge, give up and eat "normally" and regain all the weight

What was different this time - I sat down and thought to myself "why can I always lose weight and never keep it off?" and realized that I always wanted to diet for a short time and then eat normally. My lightbulb moment was realizing my normal way of eating made me fat and I had to change normal forever.

I eat completely different than I used to. All the things I did to lose weight, I still do. I still pack lunches, weigh/measure food, food journal, estimate calories. Every day. And I plan to forever.

Also, anyone here who lost weight quickly, but still managed to keep it off?

This last time, I had a pretty good rate of loss for the first 60 lbs or so. I average about 2lbs per week. It took quite a bit longer to lose the last 10 lbs.

I definitely think quick weight can be maintained, but I would ask you to have some honest conversations with yourself. You have always been able to lose weight, but you have a hard time keeping it off. If you keep trying an approach that doesn't work for you, it might be time to change that approach.

[Bakewell]

Thanks to the ladies who have posted their insight. I know I'm a long way off joining you on this forum, but having been a yo-yo dieter it's a subject that really concerns me. I'm hoping Ellie's right that the very fact it's at the forefront of my mind means I can do it this time. I'm thinking of getting to target as a step along the way on my healthy lifestyle journey, and not the destination.

Ellie, I've lost count of the times I've read that if you don't actually get to goal you are more likely to put the weight back on. It makes sense to me that getting to goal isn't easy - once you're near you're already looking and feeling so much better so the urgency is gone. It's obvious that it's an important factor and one to bear in mind this time though.

The suggestions that come up when you google maintaining weight loss seem fairly obvious; keep exercising and watching what you eat, weigh yourself regularly to keep a check on things. One thing that did surprise me was that all the sites seem to mention to importance of breakfast. Apparently the vast majority of people who maintain successfully eat breakfast every day. Before starting back on WW I rarely made time for breakfast, so that's definitely a habit I need to keep.

[rockinrobin]

I never lost a large amount of weight prior to this one and only time. For many years I believed I was incapable of really losing all this weight. So, I always gave my "diets" half hearted attempts, thus they didn't last very long.

Then I became really sick and tired and miserable enough and woke up out of my fog and realized that heck, why COULDN'T I lose the weight AND keep it off. Why the heck not? It was something that I was capable of. I did have the choice to be thin or fat.

Why this time was different: Upon deciding to lose the weight though, I knew it had to be different this time. I devised my own plan. I figured out what my worst obstacles were and made a plan to combat them. I'm not sure why, but I did realize from the start, that yes, I would need to CHANGE MY EATING HABITS FOREVER. That this was the only thing that could possibly work for me. I knew that I could not keep sugar and flour-y items in my diet as those were foods that I overdid, so I knew that that would be my answer. I knew I couldn't just watch myself, that I needed the accountability and built-in portion control of calorie counting. And I knew I would need lots and lots of volume, so I turned to veggies. And I was willing, more then willing to do this forever and ever. I made peace with that fact early on. I had finally realized that I needed to stop dieting and just overhaul my lifestyle. I needed to end my bad eating habits and behaviors and incorporate new and healthy ones.

Did I lose weight quickly? Most people would say yes. I lost my first 154 lbs in ten months. Stayed that weight for about 2 months. And then decided to take it down another 11 pounds and did that in one month. I certainly didn't lose it overnight. That's the beauty of having to lose 165 lbs, it just can't be THAT quick, thus I've got these great habits ingrained in my brain. So yes, I've been able to keep it off - for almost 2 1/2 years now. I've been able to keep it off, because that's what I decided to do. I decided to lose the weight and keep it off. No matter what. I'm willing to do whatever it entails. My life is a complete one eighty of what it used to be and I am never going back there.

The bottom line is - losing weight is a choice. Being fat is a choice. Keeping it off is a choice. As long as I keep choosing to keep it off - I will. No one can make me gain that weight back but me. It's within my hands, my power. I'm choosing to keep the weight off. Today. And every day. We just don't have to be fat if we don't want to be. And I don't want to be. Ever again.

[fruitlady]

I have lost 65lbs. or more three times. First two times I kept it off for 2 yrs. only to regain all the weight and more. This is the third time, you live and learn. I'm older now and I know alot more about whats healthy and what is not. I also exercise now and before i didn't. I lost about 2 lbs. a week eating only natural whole foods and walking. I count calories and fat grams, watch my salt intake and carbs. I've been through this way too many times, gaining it back is just not worth all the work I put into it. This time it's for life! Best of luck!

[Lori Bell]

Hi Ellie. It nice to see you posting here. I just recently took the plunge and became more active on the maintainers forum so I'm not a seasoned maintainer yet...I sure plan to be. Like Robin I reached my original goal, maintained that for a a couple months and then decided to lose some more. I met my original goal on July 3rd, so technically I've been maintaining for around 4 and 1/2 month.

Have any of you had several previous large losses, and then put it all back on - what was different for you this time?

YES, lots of times. I've told several people this lately, but I am an excellent loser, and an even better gainer... Maintenance is SO HARD for me, because I have NEVER grasped the concept of "staying the same". This time is wonderfully different because almost from the start my "real goal" was not to lose 190 pounds, but to never gain it back. I guess one of the things that keeps me motivated is a stupid, small town rumor. After about a 50 to 60 pound loss a local friend told me that another local person told her NOT to be jealous of me for losing weight, because I would gain it all back quickly. It cut like a knife. That is how people saw me...a weak yo-yo dieting mess. SO, that is when I searched for a solution, and that is when I found 3FC. I made it my all time, life long commitment to never gain it back. SO far, so good. Whatever it takes to stay committed.


Also, anyone here who lost weight quickly, but still managed to keep it off? I lost 156 pounds the first year, which I think is fairly quickly, the last 34 have been very slow, but that is OKAY with me. Interesting before now the longest time I ever kept a significant amount of weight off was in High School MANY years ago. I crash dieted, (not recommended) and kept the majority of it off for several years. *I* think, in my humble opinion, that the amount of time it takes to lose it vs. whether you keep it off is exaggerated, but the Mayo Clinic and the weight loss turtles will venomously disagree with me and that is okay too.

[Reg4242]

I having been in the maintenance game for sometime. I lost 120 pounds going on 18 years ago. In that space of time there have been some periods of regaining weight. I have regained up to 40 pounds at one time. Other years there have been 10, 15 pound gains. But the majority of the time I have been under my original goal of 155 pounds. Right now and for the past few years I have been at a lower weight, of 135.

My point is that this is a journey and you need to stay on the course,
and you will get to your destination. There will be potholes, ditches, & slippery roads, but there will also be clear sky's, no traffic, no detours and you can go full speed ahead. So just balance it out for the long haul.

[Ellie R]

Thanks Ladies!

I feel quite comforted that some of you did lose weight fast, as I have, but are maintaining nonetheless.

Right now, I feel pretty confident that I can do the maintaining thing, but I know its going to be tough, and I also know I am going to have to be conscious of my food for the rest of my life. I am still scared of going off track and letting it happen again, but I suppose the point is that I just simply can't, and more to the point that I have to believe that I won't!!!
x

[KforKitty]

Not a long time maintainer but definitely a previous yo-yo dieter. The difference this time is the reality that this journey has no end. To maintain a healthy weight I am going to need to work on it for the rest of my life. The calories I need to maintain my new small frame is no different to those that I lost on in the early stages. That's a truth that I never appreciated before - how much fewer calories a small body needs from a large one.

I didn't lose particularly quickly. Sure the first 50-60lbs went in a few months but its taken me more than a year to lose that last 30 or so but that hasn't really bothered me this time around - after all I've got the rest of my life to figure this out.

Kitty