Book Alert - Frances Kuffel's new book is coming out in January!

[tealover]

Hi Meg, thank you for the welcome!

Meg and Robin, OMG I'm just noticing your stats and you have both lost very well over 100 pounds! That is so awesome! I raise my big mug of morning tea and give a big shout-out of congratulations to you both!

I will definitely stay on the maintenance forum. I want to learn from those who have been there, done that, and still have the weight loss to confirm success.

This is a great forum.

[tealover]

rockinrobin, if you're reading this, I just want to thank you. Since I read your post (above) this morning, I keep thinking of something you said in one small sentence. You said there has to be a restrictive component to weight loss. I thought of this in relation to my goal weight which I posted as 150. But that is actually 10 pounds over a healthy BMI for me, which is 140 lbs.

I chose 150 because I am 56, tired of the restrictive diets I've been on all my life which only made me fatter, and was thinking at least I'd be annoyingly overweight at 150 instead of obese, which I am now.

But I want to be healthy, and at a BMI of 24 (140 lbs), I will be at lowest risk for disease. And now I'm thinking "restriction" is not such a bad thing. At 150 I can maintain at 1800 calories. At 140 I need to restrict myself to 1680 calories. Big deal. That's still not the starvation diets I've lived on.

So your one simple sentence made me realize restriction (if not too severe) is not so bad.

Why not be the best I can be?

So thanks for putting that little bug in my head.

[WhitePicketFences]

Thanks Sidhe and other posters; I actually didn't know there was such a specific OA plan, very interesting.

I feel I have been particularly restrictive/hardcore in weight loss, so that's partly why I asked -- soaking up everyone's maintenance successes and failures -- but then again, I don't have any off-limit foods and have surprised myself with moderation. So I guess it's all how you look at it.

Robin, the 'that's how I got/stayed fat' is exactly what popped in my head one moment last week when my mother was lecturing me about not denying myself ... She and I popped into a restaurant/bar downtown while waiting on my husband to join us at another place. The plan was to go to an acclaimed restaurant where my mother (famously dieting) and I planned to split a somewhat decadent dinner.

My half of the calorific dinner was allotted in my day's plan and fit into my calories for the day. But it was cold waiting on my husband to meet us post-shopping, and she suggested we duck into a bar for a drink. Okay. Sat down and she ordered us each a glass of merlot for our wait. Well, I didn't have room for a glass of wine that day and so of course demurred.

My mom was clearly annoyed and lectured me somewhat on moderation, blah blah blah. Well, yeah. We had red wine the night before, as I do several times a week, and it was nice, but I pair wine with low-cal meals like a 4 oz piece of fish and a vegetable. Not the higher-calorie meal we were getting later; there was no room that day. I didn't bother to get into it, as my husband is the only person outside 3fc with whom I discuss such things.

Still, it just struck me as one of the million little banal things that come up and require discipline. I don't get to see my mother much, as we live in far-flung states and it was a rare, fun-making time out together. But no matter the occasion, this is just the way my life is now. I have anything on plan, but there's almost nothing I have on the spur of the moment.

And later, when we finally went to dinner, we got our own dishes after all, instead of splitting -- and she kept talking about feeling bad about how much she ate ... it was obvious that she resented me for only eating half my dish. And then she insisted on the waiter boxing it up, when I had already told him no thanks, and on bringing it home for me to have as lunch the next day even though I told her I had no need for such a rich lunch and even though I tried to 'forget' it on the table, too. No, I didn't eat the leftovers, and no, actually, my mother is not usually like this.

(I do wish I didn't have this effect on other would-be or want-to-be dieters, and that trying to get me to eat more was not the key to other people feeling better about "breaking" their every-other-week on/off "diets" or whatever. But that's another topic entirely!)

[tealover]

Whitepicket, what a great post.

The most I ever kept my weight off was for 1.5 years, I believe. That was on my last "least restrictive" eating plan, the one that is closest to what I am doing now.

"I have anything on plan, but there's almost nothing I have on the spur of the moment."

That is what I did back then, and keeping my weight off was almost effortless...UNTIL I started giving in, wanting to fit in and be "liked" and "accepted", by eating what others were eating. Of course there were other issues as well, but when I stopped planning and being focused, I ran into trouble with my weight that's lasted for years.

Thanks for the reminder that it's good to be selfish about our food needs, even if it makes others uncomfortable.

[WhitePicketFences]

Thanks tealover; your past experience is a powerful reminder to me, too. This is the first time I have ever lost more than 25 lbs at once, and I am just determined to do whatever it takes to keep it off ... I am really into reading about others' experiences with maintenance.

[rockinrobin]

Whitepicket, I too loved your post. I've been in similar circumstances. Those comments - "can't you eat it just this one time?" Well actually I eat it plenty of times, when I've planned it and DECIDE to - not when I've no interest in it, thank you very much. Or. "Sheesh, you just gotta live sometimes". Well yes I do and that's EXACTLY what I'm hoping for. A happy, active, productive, interesting, fun, joyous and LONG life, thank you very much!

It's all perspective. And frankly, I find very few people (except for here at 3FC) have my perspective. It's quite sad actually.

tealover, you're very welcome! I've had many people ask me why I had to get *this* thin (as if it's there business). I'm like what??? I should have settled for a lower quality of life, not giving myself the best chance at optimal health just because I started out so heavy? Am I not entitled to the same health benefits of everyone else? The truth is it would STILL be restrictive to maintain a higher weight. So why not tighten it up and strive for the VERY BEST? I no longer settle for just "good enough", not when better is available.

Yes, it is restrictive. Somewhat. I actually enjoy having for the first time n my life guidelines and boundaries to adhere to. When I didn't I was MISERABLE. Now I am thrilled with myself and life in general. Thrilled. I don't find this lifestyle to be a burden or a hardship. I find it to be freeing, comforting and joyful.

[JayEll]

It is only restrictive in the context of previously eating anything you want, whenever you want it. As time goes on, what seemed restrictive at one time will seem normal--which it actually is!

Jay

[WaterRat]

I personally don't believe in restriction at all. But, having said that, I certainly do work on my emotions and behaviors to naturally make the best choices for myself. At the end of the day its just semantics I guess.

Exactly! I think that what we consider making good choices others would call restriction. I don't rule any foods (except those I don't like ) out of my diet, but I do choose to limit the amount/frequency that I eat some of them. Other people would call that restricting. It's like when others call us obsessed with exercise, while we say we're dedicated, or committed. It's all in how you percieve things.