Self-sabotage

MindiV · 04-20-2009, 08:35 AM

Help! These past few weeks I've totally returned to old habits I thought I'd kicked! I find myself eating CONSTANTLY. I'm surprised I haven't gained weight (and thankful), but I know if I keep it up that will certainly change.

For more than a year I was able to beat the cravings. I could make a cake to take to my mother-in-law's house for Sunday dinner and NOT eat a piece there, or not snack while cooking dinner or between meals. A big habit I've fallen back into is snacking when I'm bored (which is a lot when I'm at home). If I'm just sitting, I'm just thinking about food.

Then at work...things had gotten better. Everyone else sort of stopped bringing the sweets for a week or so after Easter, and I got back into the habit of bringing my yogurt or cantaloupe or apple to snack on during the day. But then the sweets popped back up in the fridge, right there with my healthy snacks. And I forgot how to say no again.

I went through a long period where I was "phoning in" my workouts and skipping weight training, but I'm more than back on track with all of that.

I don't know WHY I do this to myself! It's almost as if I'm pushing (again) to see how far I can go before I start gaining. Which, in theory, wouldn't be a bad thing because I never have found out what my upper calorie limit for maintenance is. But I'm not even adding this snack stuff!

Have any of you been in this same place? How did you stop?

kittycat40 · 04-20-2009, 09:28 AM

I was just thinking about something similar. After having read a goal post I reminded myself I have been at goal since end August of 2008. I was thinking about how my food and eating issues are always lurking about and just under the surface of my goal weight self.

What I thought about was how I needed to always remember this and stay diligent about healthy habits and avoiding dangerous urges.

Unfortunately for me, I think that is all there is to it.

kitkat1985 · 04-20-2009, 09:33 AM

I know how you feel. I went to a wedding with my BF this past weekend in SC and it was absolutely wonderful. I had no problem with food. THEN we came back to his place in NC yesterday (I am from Toronto, just visiting) and in the middle of the night I ate 510 calories worth of SF ice cream bars. Why do I do this to myself? I still ended up at 2050 calories for the day, but I feel like a complete failure. Why do I sabotage myself?

MindiV · 04-20-2009, 09:47 AM

If there's a "reason" for mine...the only one I can come up with is that I'm resorting to food to make me feel better. I let too many negative comments get to me entirely too much, and I know I shouldn't. Also, I'm having a severe shortage of clothes for spring and summer...everything I've got is too big and makes me feel just awful! I desperately need a shopping trip, I think...

Maybe some retail therapy will improve my attitude. Maybe seeing that I can look good in clothes will help me re-dedicate myself to keeping it all off...

kittycat40 · 04-20-2009, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MindiV

Maybe some retail therapy will improve my attitude. Maybe seeing that I can look good in clothes will help me re-dedicate myself to keeping it all off...

excellent idea

JulieJ08 · 04-20-2009, 11:19 AM

I think it's natural to have to go through a few phases of change. Sometimes enthusiasm can carry us at first, in spite of some issues that may still remain. But you're clearly not back at square one. You're learning again, but at a far different level than before. Don't beat yourself up, just take the opportunity

rockinrobin · 04-20-2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MindiV

If there's a "reason" for mine...the only one I can come up with is that I'm resorting to food to make me feel better.

Sooo, let me ask you this, or actually ask yourself this - DOES the food actually make you feel better? And for how long? Is it lasting? Or temporary? What is it exactly that you are looking for? Immediate (short term) gratification or - long term satisfaction?

Re-visit why you lost the weight in the first place. Go back to "dieting 101" if need be. The you bite it you right it, the tracking, the planning, the no veering off, the no nibbling, the exercise is a non-negotiable priority.

Oh yes - go shopping!!! Shopping therapy as we call it around here. Talk about immediate gratification!!!! Actually it's kind of long term satisfaction as well. You get to wear the fabulous stuff over and over again. Oh what fun.

One more thing, I think it's great that you recognized this before it got to be too out of hand. I think these things are going to happen from time to time throughout the long journey that is maintenance. It's perfectly normal and we all go through it. The thing of course is to "catch it". Once you do, you do what's necessary to reel it in and then you're back in a "good groove" again.

I love the "good groove" again part

. Love it. You'll get there.

MindiV · 04-20-2009, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockinrobin

Sooo, let me ask you this, or actually ask yourself this - DOES the food actually make you feel better? And for how long? Is it lasting? Or temporary? What is it exactly that you are looking for? Immediate (short term) gratification or - long term satisfaction?

Actually, it makes me feel WORSE because I know I shouldn't be eating what I'm eating, yet I do it anyway. Sort of like whacking my head into a wall, huh?

So far I'm doing MUCH better today...went home for lunch and JUST ate what I had planned for lunch, without any little "extras." Lunch has been a bad time, too, because work-related morning stress spills over. I've avoided sweets at work all morning, and have a few hours left to go. Maybe I'll make it after all!

No, I WILL make it!!

rockinrobin · 04-20-2009, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MindiV

Actually, it makes me feel WORSE because I know I shouldn't be eating what I'm eating, yet I do it anyway. Sort of like whacking my head into a wall, huh?

So it makes you feel worse. REMEMBER that. REMIND yourself of it each and every time BEFORE you put something unplanned in your mouth.

Sometimes I wish we could tattoo it on our heads. No it wouldn't work there, couldn't see it. Tattoo it on our hands? Yeah, that might do it.

And a good way to avoid those sweets - bring in healthy snacks of your own. Keep a bottle of water at your desk as well.

And yes, I think you WILL make it.

Shannon in ATL · 04-20-2009, 02:56 PM

Mindi, I have been doing the exact same thing the last few weeks. I haven't gained either, but I sure as heck don't know why not... I've eaten more and exercised less, nibbled more here and there, given in to pathetic exercise excuses. And, felt miserable. I just ate greasy chicken fingers for lunch and now I feel all slimy.

I just ordered some more tea for my drawer at work, and purged all the junk that had rebuilt in my desk drawer.

I know what you mean about clothes that don't fit - I was just thinking the same thing. My clothes look bad, so I don't feel as confident, which makes me more likely to snack.

We can beat this!

MindiV · 04-20-2009, 03:21 PM

Yes, we can!! I'm off Friday, and I feel like a shopping trip is necessary! Even if I only come away with a couple of things, they'll be better than the old, big, misshapen stuff I've got now...

midwife · 04-20-2009, 03:40 PM

I think shopping will really help. It is so hard when the clothes don't fit, they are baggy and it is so frustrating. I think you will really appreciate finding a few things that fit well.

It is a process and I'm just kind of enjoying the "easy" days and figuring out strategies to help with the difficult ones and coming here for a kick in the rear is one of my strategies so I'm glad you did that!

Shannon in ATL · 04-20-2009, 03:57 PM

You mentioned work related stress spillovers, I've been getting more of those lately, too. I've taken to going outside for a few minutes and walking around the parking lot when work is pushing me to the snack point. I also have a pair of chime balls I'm going to bring back to work with me to spin in my hand when I'm anxious - hard to eat when you are trying to keep from dropping two stainless steel balls.

Is there anything you can do at work that will distract you from the munching?

MindiV · 04-20-2009, 04:31 PM

Work is just REALLY stressful this time of year with so much going on...not to mention I've been put in charge of planning the city's centennial celebration. As of May 2 my stress level will decrease a TON...when the centennial thing is OVER.

I've got a squishy stress ball in my desk, and really sugar free gum keeps me from going too overboard at work (as long as I stay away from the candy bowl up front and fridge in the back). It's when I go home that the majority of it really hits me, though, and the worst of the snacking really takes place...these past few days, at least.

However...I've decided on a project to keep me busy. I've been printing out or writing out recipes from online for a long time, and they're all stuffed into a notebook at home. I've bought several spiral notebooks and I'm going to categorize and copy the printed recipes into them. It's food-related, but it's also "busy work" that keeps me from getting my hands on food. We'll see.

Nearly made it through my first day in WEEKS without extra snacking!!

Shannon in ATL · 04-20-2009, 04:48 PM

Wow, planning the centennial sounds neat, but I bet it is stressful. At least it is over soon!

I can't say the same thing as you on the snack free day....

I ate a fun sized bag of skittles that had fallen to the bottom of my drawer... I just pulled everything out to get rid of anything else lurking down there...

Projects at home are good, too. Something to keep the hands busy. My great grandmother used to tat, and I've been thinking about trying to learn how to do that. I could do that while hanging with DH and watching tv, even.

Stay strong on the snack free day!