Shopping = Scary?

MindiV · 09-29-2008, 02:18 PM

Since it's nearly October, I thought I'd bring up my new biggest fear: shopping for clothes.

Wednesday I've got to go to the dentist and get some cavities filled. Normally I'd take half the day off and pick up a couple of new shirts, or new pants, or something...to take my mind off the dental appointment (I HATE the dentist). Well, not this time...I'd prefer to get to the dentist's office EARLY more than I want to go shopping.

It's just so overwhelming. I tried to talk to the husband about it over the weekend, but he just doesn't get it. He thinks I don't LIKE having options now that I never had before. That's not it at all. It's just that I don't know what to do!

Before I would walk into a store...any store...Target, Wal-Mart, JC Penney, Sears...anywhere. And I'd find the "plus size" section, where I could find whatever I needed all right there. Pants? Check. Shirts? Got 'em. Work wear? Yep. Casual T-shirts? Right in front of me. All in one place.

Now I walk into JC Penney and I'm hit with "Misses" and "Juniors" and more. Shirts are one place, pants are another, work clothes in one section, casual somewhere else entirely. And heck if I even know what size I wear these days!

A quick shopping trip recently turned into an all-day, frustrating and confusing affair that involved me going into and out of dressing rooms dozens and dozens of times before leaving empty-handed in frustration.

It's been a while since I bought any new clothes simply because I can't stand the chore of shopping for my new body...therefore everything I have is old and a little too big (since it was bought 20+ pounds ago). So I have to go soon...but gosh I don't want to.

Sorry, y'all...just needed to rant in a place where I thought someone would understand!!!

nelie · 09-29-2008, 02:53 PM

I have the same experience. When I was a teenager, I was shopping at plus size stores. Most plus size stores when I was a teen catered to older women so it sucked but I knew where to get clothes. Growing up obese meant I shopped in smaller stores and had a much smaller selection.

Now I have a hard time and actually order most of my clothes online. I don't get overwhelmed by all the choices and I also don't feel like I have to be sneaky. Whenever I go into the misses section, I feel like someone is going to come up to me and say 'hey big girl, wrong section'. So I usually do a sneak attack into the misses section. I go in, grab some clothes and get out as quick as possible.

PhotoChick · 09-29-2008, 03:01 PM

Wow. I find it's just the opposite for me. I LOVE being able to go into any store and find something in any area that fits. I'm not a big shopping person, but I'm finding a new appreciation for the process now that things fit better.

Hm. Let me think ... maybe a solution to help you feel less overwhelmed would be to avoid the big department stores that have so many different brands and styles and designers.

I have found that The Limited and Eddie Bauer and Ann Taylor often have things that fit me well ... and they're smaller stores, so there's not that sense of "I don't know where to start". Also, I used to think that those stores were expensive and would avoid them, but if you watch for sales, their prices are no higher than what I could find at Target or Kohls.

Maybe pick a few smaller stores like that - off the top of my head, I'd say The Limited, Gap, Eddie Bauer, and Express. They tend to have good prices, good sales, and a range of sizes from 16 on down.

.

MindiV · 09-29-2008, 04:08 PM

Thanks, Photochick...smaller stores might be less overwhelming. We don't have access to a lot of those stores around here, but we DO have some of 'em within driving distance....

And once I figure out my size, online shopping will be a GREAT option, nelie!!

nelie · 09-29-2008, 04:11 PM

small stores are actually more overwhelming for me just because my sneak attack doesn't work very well with them.

carinna · 09-29-2008, 04:13 PM

I can relate. Just in time for Halloween.

WaterRat · 09-29-2008, 05:50 PM

MindiV - I like places like Nordstrom's where the sales people will actually go get another size for you so you don't have to dress/undress constantly. Two other stores/catalogs I like are Coldwater Creek and J. Jill (I'm with Photochick on Eddie Bauer and Land's End

)

MBN · 09-30-2008, 08:27 AM

I went through a similar frustration when I hit my goal weight and couldn't find anything that fit at my "normal" shops anymore. I would go and try repeatedly, only to leave, despairing of ever finding anything to fit anymore. It just wasn't a problem I expected to encounter!! I just kept trying and looking at different places, and eventually found a new set of shops that do carry things in my size, and that fit my fashion style and lifestyle. It just took a little time. Now, I know exactly where to go.

This is just another kind of learning curve, I think. My suggestion is just to keep trying, and recognize that it may take time to find your "new" shopping places and best new look. It's a new adventure!

The other challenging thing is figuring out what looks good on your new body. Can you find a shopping buddy, someone who has a good eye for what looks good on you, and who will be honest with you if it doesn't? Part of the problem is just not knowing where to start, with all of the choices available. Having a "personal shopper" along that you trust would probably help, and make it more fun to boot!

Just a couple of thoughts ...

MindiV · 09-30-2008, 09:05 AM

MBN - That's the same way I feel...this problem wasn't something I expected to happen at all! I knew it would be different, but I didn't expect it to be so hard!

I'll keep trying. I think part of it is a mental block. Part of my brain doesn't realize I've lost weight. For example, my husband took a photo of my on his camera phone the other day, so of course I snatched it away to look at it. OH MY GOSH I was thin!!!! It just hasn't gotten into my brain yet that I'm not a 220 pound woman anymore. When I think in my head of how I look, it's at a higher weight. So when I go shopping I automatically gravitate toward my old stores and sections, and the new places overwhelm me...or are scary because in my head I'm still too big to shop in them.

Yeah, I don't know what looks good anymore. And shopping buddy...nope. I ask people to go with me, but everyone I know is too broke to shop and refuses to go if they can't buy too. Great friends, right? Time to find some new ones...

the slim me · 09-30-2008, 09:12 AM

It's hard to see your body in a new way, when you've lost a lot of weight. I know i'm not there yet either. But buying new clothes should be fun! Find one thing you love and take several sizes in with you to try on. You'll get the feel of it. ENJOY!!!