I spend a lot of time reading the maintainers forum, soaking up some wisdom from the experts.
I’ve been able to stay OP for 3 months and I’ve managed to lose 20 lbs, but I have to admit that there have been times that it’s been so tough for me. And it’s only been 3 mos and I know this is for the rest of my life. Something that scares me a lot, not the fact that it’s a change for life, but the fact that there’s so much temptation out there.
You as maintainers have been able to keep the weight off for and I’m sure you’ve had weak moments. Do you ever give in and eat with reckless abandon, ever? How do you pull yourself out of it? And what’s your damage control strategy?
I’m trying to learn the skills to be able to maintain, that’s why I’m always here avidly reading your posts and looking for any information that helps towards that goal.
Do I ever eat with reckless abandon? No, not really. But I do (semi-often, even) choose to eat things that aren't on my normal eating plan.
Because I think of it as a choice, not just "giving in", it's a lot easier to choose to eat on-plan afterward..I never lost control, I just chose to eat a less healthy food, so there is no reason control has to be refound.
If I do go off the handle, which happens infrequently but HAS happened (ie, Christmas, where I was off plan for a good 2-3 weeks...oops), I have a 3 step plan.
1. Get immediately back to plan. Throw out all the "junk" foods, stock your house with on-plan foods, and plan a menu for an entire week (meals, snacks, and all) with the healthy foods. Schedule in your exercise like a meeting and commit to being fully on plan for that week.
2. Figure out what went wrong, whether it was eating due to stress/emotional reasons, not having healthy foods on hand, eating your trigger foods...whether you've been off plan for a day or a week, it can be useful to see why the problem arose in the first place, because it can help you prevent it in the future.
3. Forgive and move on. Guilt can lead to guilt-eating. Once you've figured out what went wrong, you've done all you can do...time to let it go.
Do I ever give in and eat with reckless abandon? Yes and no. On holidays and special occasions, I go ahead and eat whatever I want in general, which often ends up with me feeling so stuffed I can barely move. I don't know if that counts as reckless abandon -- I have never really been a binge eater. Nowadays I have gotten to the point where feeling so full grosses me out enough that I approach these situations with more of a plan. For me, if I am going to splurge on a meal and not be on plan, I decide in advance which foods I want the most. My plan for Thanksgiving, for example, was to avoid appetizers, only take a little piece of meat since I don't like it that much, no stuffing since I don't like stuffing, load up on the veggies, and leave space in my stomach for a big pile of sweet potatoes and multiple desserts. Yeah, not the healthiest, but if I'm going to splurge I want it to be on the foods I love that I don't eat very often.
That said, usually if I have a meal or a day of reckless abandon, it is only one meal or only one day. I try to pick myself back up the next morning and be more on plan. I guess that counts as pulling myself out of it -- I only allow splurges occasionally. If I splurge too often and my weight goes up, I go back to basics until it goes back down. Many of us around here have a "red line" -- when we get to that weight, we know it's time to work on losing again. The goal is to never allow yourself to go above that red line. It's like a wake-up call. I guess that is the damage control strategy too!
Reckless abandon? Not for me. Give into temptation? Quite often--but with moderation.
I'm all about moderation.
If I have a craving, I give into it (with moderation) because I know that the craving will not go away--it intensifies with me, so if I don't give into it, it will get worse which might mean devouring with almost reckless abandon and I don't want to do that.
I have to say that I've never been a binge eater, but to give into temptation without letting it escalate means a small bowl of ice cream rather than a large bowl. Or some baby potatoes rather than a huge baked potato. I think you get my point.
When I am on vacation, I usually allow myself to eat whatever I want. Sometimes I don't even bother to try to make smart choices. But it's not really the same as eating with reckless abandon, because I still limit myself to reasonable quantities and try to eat only when I'm actually hungry. And I don't eat many sweets.
I do have times where things just go awry and I feel like I can't stop eating. They don't happen very often, but they do happen sometimes. For example, visiting my parents is often like this--they just have so much tempting food around the house--but luckily I only see them once or twice a year. Times like this are always triggered by the fact that I'm not writing down what I eat. I never go far off plan if I am writing things down. So I get myself back on plan by forcing myself to write down everything I'm eating. Usually I start back on plan the next day (or if I am out of town, when I get back home). At Christmas I was off-plan for about two weeks; I picked Jan 2 to get back on plan. On that day, I started writing everything down again.
In addition to writing down everything I eat, a few other strategies that help get me get on plan and stay on plan are:
1. Reminding myself that I don't have to do this. I don't have to be thin; there's no law. I can stop and eat with reckless abandon any time I want. Remembering that this is a conscious choice I have made for myself and that, if I really want a treat, I can have one, helps more than you might think. Sometimes I get into a mindframe where I start thinking that I absolutely have to have a piece of cake or brownie or some other high caloric treat. If I remind myself that there will be lots of opportunities to eat cake (for example, if I pass on the cake today and really regret it, I can always go to the store and buy a piece of cake to eat tomorrow), it easier to turn down the cake today. And I've never regretted it so much that I had to actually go to the store and buy cake the next day.
2. Forcing myself to acknowledge how many calories are in the food I'm eating. It's a lot harder to eat a whole bag of chips once you know that it is normally your calorie allotment for an entire day!
3. Having a goal; something in the future that I want to look good for that I can focus on. Could be anything--a vacation, a wedding to attend, a presentation I am giving, the start of swimsuit season, or even just a random date that I've chosen. But picking a date and focusing on staying on plan until then really helps me stay focused.
Reckless abandon? Very very very rarely. Even when I'm planning to be off plan (like my weekly dinners out in nice restaurants) I still try to stick to my usual "always rules" - no fried foods (the occasional calimari slips through), no cream-based sauces, limit bread out of the bread basket (sometimes slip up here), no more than 2 drinks. There are some foods I just don't eat EVER - fast food, sugary soda, packaged baked goods.
I don't WANT to eat with reckless abandon anymore - that was the old me. I did not like that about myself. It made me feel unhappy, so even when I am offplan, I am still in control (nearly always - there have been 1-2 times when I did just throw caution to the wind, but even then, I just can't eat as much as I used to, my stomach tends to stop me now).
Giving in to just normal temptations - oh sure, I don't even try to be "perfect" anymore. I aim for consistency. I realize that life is full of temptations and there will be crackers and cheese at work, there will be cake at babyshowers, there will be free truffle samples at Trader Joe's. I generally try to stay on plan, but I don't beat myself up I eat offplan - I just get right back on on plan the next eating opportunity.
Reckless abandon? Nu-uh. Those days are over. In the past I would eat - and eat - and eat - without ever giving it a second thought. These days everything I put into my mouth is thought out and the times when I "plan" to go "off plan", well yes even those are thought out. With limits and restrictions and rules. Things I still need and always will.
And even the times when I go off plan without having intended to (giving into temptation, spur of the moment), there is still *some* thought given to it. I DO have a shut off button. I DO put the brakes on. It is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING like in the old days. My stomach for one simply can not hold what it used to.
When I do go off plan, as planned in advance or unplanned, it is right back to it the VERY NEXT day or usually the very, very next food choice. If I had done that my whole life, had a slip up, and then when right back to it, I never would have become morbidly obese, obese or even overweight. As someone here at 3FC once said, I apologize, but I can't recall who, "When I fall, I have learned to fall gracefully and with as little damage as possible."
Friendlykat, just the fact that you are looking down the road is a GREAT sign. I won't tell you that it's easy every single day, temptation IS everywhere, but having good habits in place (calorie tracking, planning ahead, eating frequently thus not ever getting hungry, having a well stocked home, delicious healthy recipes and foods to eat, weighing myself almost daily, keeping to a set of rules, etc...) does make it simpler and very, very DOABLE. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my life now (yup, even the healthy foods that I eat ) and will never go back to the old, unhappy, underutilized ME.
I wish you continued success.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 04-11-2008 at 05:17 PM.
I occasionally still eat recklessly. It is never without that little voice in the back of my head that is telling me how many calories the food I'm eating has, how much work I will have to do at the gym to make up for it, etc. etc. It sort of ruins the food for me, because I can't enjoy it as much! Honestly I think that it is a teensy bit of a shame that food has become taboo in some ways for me. I wish I could just "be normal" and eat and enjoy my food, and just be at a "normal" weight. But I accepted long ago that I'm not like that, and it's unlikely I will ever be.
Sometimes I'm able to eat "off plan" foods that I wouldn't normally eat, in moderation, and my next meal is OP, and that's just fine with me and the scale and my waistband. However, I have recognized that I don't always do well with moderation (e.g. I can't keep ice cream in the freezer b/c I will keep eating and eating it until it's gone, so if I must have some I get a small container or single serving.)
Sometimes I still slip up and grossly overeat. Last Thanksgiving I ate 1 1/2 pies in 3 days by myself. (I confess!) When something like that happens, I don't believe in trying to crash-diet on really low calories or anything extreme, b/c I know from past experience I can't stick to a plan like that. I go back to my "losing" calorie range, go to the grocery store and get lots of fruits, veggies, lean proteins, and try to eat as clean as I can, drink lots of water, and make sure I'm sticking to my regular workout schedule for the next week or so until the urge to continue eating badly passes.
Somewhere I read "your habits can make you or break you". If eating healthily is your overall 'habit' with an occasional treat, it's the habits that will define your body. I also think it's important to not let foods become "forbidden" or "bad" - this can set up a whole mental mind game that is tough to deal with (like my little voice!).
I think it's wonderful how far you've come and how you're thinking ahead. Keep up the good work!
Yep, I'll eat with reckless abandon from time to time. But I wouldn't usually characterize it as giving in, because for me it usually happens in the sense that my common sense took a vacation for whatever reason, rather than I succumbed to temptation. And yep, I also succumb to temptation but those tend to be smaller episodes, like half a piece of Grandma's pecan pie or something, rather than an entire bag of Doritos.
For me, I try to cut myself a break. No one is perfect, and even a huge binge will only result in a small amount of body fat, although there may be a much larger temporary scale blip with the associated water/fluids that the body needs to work that quantity of food out of the system. It is the consistency, the pattern that matters. If it happens a couple times a year, it happens. If it happens a couple times a week, it's time to figure out what is going wrong and take some kind of action. I'm too committed to this lifestyle to let it get out of hand for long, willing to sacrifice some short term comfort to make up for it, and as time passes (I'm at 5+ years of this now), it happens less often.
I wouldn't say that I ever eat with reckless abandon. Like others have said, even when I splurge my stomach stops me. I really can't eat like I used too.
I do have what I like to call "nutritionally defunct days" on rare occasion. I don't necessarily eat junk on these days, but when it happens I tend to eat richer foods then normal. These days are usually a bit higher calorie days and I compensate my having a few lower calorie days afterward. There's nothing wrong with splurging now and again as long as you take that in to account the next few days to even it out.
I also consider certain things to be on plan that others might not. Dark chocolate, wine, and full fat cheese are all on plan for me (just in smaller portions.)
I'm not a moderation person....boy, do I wish I could be! I'm on plan most of the time, but have occasional disaster days when I eat mindlessly and damaging quantities. What has changed is what I eat in on those dark days: usually "healthy foods" but in absurd quantities. OK, I guess peanut M&M's really can't be called healthy, but I am a chronic abuser of apples and natural peanut butter. Usually this happens on a weekend, and my damage is limited to one day. I seem to be able to turn it off, but not avoid it entirely.
I do allow myself to go off plan in controlled situations like a restaurant meal where I'll have blue cheese dressing on my salad, wine, and a spoonful of dh's dessert.
THANKS to all you maintainers!!!! This thread has really helped me! I do the same now about the occasional treats....my one thing I have to watch is chocolate! I do allow myself some on occasion, but it is with full knowledge of how many calories and with thought about it prior to just poping a whole bag of hersey kisses in my mouth! I know that each one of those things are at least 25 calories..........and I document eating it. I actually have had very few cravings for chocolate I have not eaten a whole candybar since starting and really have no desire to! But when I want some (usually when someone else is eating one) I take a small bite to kill the craving and I really truly think about the flavor and let it melt in my mouth LOL enjoying it completely. I think because I do this when I do have chocolate I don't need as much to satisfy the craving.
Thank you all for your responses. It's really helpful for me to read them. Sometimes I read the maintainers forum and I sort of get a feeling that you're not human...lol!
I always have this idea in my head that you're all a bit superhuman, and maybe you are, to keep fighting the battle and never give up, to pick yourselves up when you fall. That's a superhero isn't it?
That's why you inspire others like me, who aim to be like you one day!
Last edited by friendlykat4u; 04-12-2008 at 08:39 PM.
Yes, I have to admit, there are times that I just give into temptation. Case in point -- my family went camping a couple of weeks ago, and I just ate, well, everything. All of the things that I hardly ever eat anymore. Lots of it. <My name is MB and I am a carboholic> After 3 days of unrestrained eating, I hit the scale and weighed 10 pounds more, yikes! But, the difference between now and "before", is that I went right back on my weight loss eating plan and was back to my maintenance window within the week.
I'm coming to think that the splurge times are a natural part of maintenance. But I strive to keep them as occasional splurges, rather than something that happens all the time. I try to keep the portions modest (most of the time) and I do a lot better when I faithfully write everything down and count the calories. It's better for me to face (and measure) that I had a 3000 calorie day, rather than live in denial, which is what always got me in trouble before. Then if my weight creeps up, I have to get back on the weight-loss plan as needed to get back down within my target maintenance weight window. I am trying to make all of this intentional, rather than feeling like it's a loss of control. I CHOOSE to eat this now, knowing that I will have to compensate with reduced calories and/or increased exercise at another time.
Boy, this IS all mental. Or I'm mental. Not sure which.
I have been at this maintenance thing only 6 months, and I haven't had any "go crazy" eating binges. I have, however, like many, made the CHOICE to eat something I knew wasn't good or healthy for me, but it tasted so DAMN GOOD! For example, I was away with my family this weekend and wanted a piece of this fabulous looking chocolate cake at a restaurant. Everyone was shocked when it came to order that I ordered my "naked tenders" and then asked that a piece of the chocolate cake and 4 forks be brought to the table immediately. That way, I had the cake before our means, but I only had 1/4 of it and it was FABULOUS! I didn't allow that choice to ruin my day.
Like others, I wrote down that I ate it, but I didn't sweat it. If I made that choice day after day, I'd be a mess weight wise, but making that occasional choice, I think, is what living and eating in a healthy way is also about. I don't have foods that I can't have, but I have some I know I can't control, so I don't have them around--chocolate continues to be one of those items.
Temptation, do you ever give in?
) and will never go back to the old, unhappy, underutilized ME.
