Appearances Can Be Deceiving: Knowing How To Acknowledge Weight Loss

[Robin41]

I may be the only one, but I don't care for the reworded comments. Essentially it says that we should assume that everybody might have a closet eating disorder and frame our comments accordingly. This seems like a fairly negative way of going about our lives. Although there may be a disproportionatly high number of people here with a history of eating disorders, the vast majority of people do not have them and appreciate the pat on the back of somebody saying, "Hey you look great".

Yes, it's great to comment on the health and fitness aspects of weight loss, but I'm just not prepared to assume that everybody doing well with their weight loss is potentially a person with an eating disorder.

[kaplods]

I think it is just as presumptive to assume that everyone who loses weight has done so because they wanted to. I remember when I was about 12, my mother ran into a distant cousin she hadn't seen for quite a while. Mom gushed over her weight loss, and asked "how did you do it?" The woman replied "cancer." The woman died of terminal breast cancer within a year.

On the other hand, I know my mother was crushed when her own sisters refused to acknowledge that she had lost over 60 lbs.

I think common sense is in order. If you don't know someone very well, "gushing" over weight loss, pregnancy, or any other personal matters can be insensitive, and rub people the wrong way.

[lipidful]

It's clear that commenting in any way on weight loss is a potential landmine! LOL
If I notice someone has lost weight or notice that they are trying to, I just make no comment in any direction. I know this might offend the ones who think people are being mean by not acknowledging their loss, but I am of the variety that doesn't want any comments, good or bad. I feel my weight is private even though it happens to be publicly visible. There is too much emotional baggage tied into the whole issue, and I think that you risk offending someone, somewhere. LOL
I'm kind of over sensitive and don't like to be noticed too much. This is in no way meant to say that people who want comments are wrong; I'm just saying how I handle it. So if you've lost weight and nobody has said anything, maybe it's because they're afraid of offending you in some way!

[nineteen]

I think if a significant weight loss is evident, it can be thoughtful to say something like, "You look great!" or "You look like you're in really great shape!" But like others have said, comments such as, "Oh, you look so THIN and BEAUTIFUL" are just completely NOT the way to go.

I wish more people in general would complement a person's inner qualities (kindness, determination, loyalty, etc.) instead of constantly complementing hair, clothes, weight, etc.

Maybe it's just easier and more "comfortable" to give a compliment on something more external?