It's been a little of a struggle so far (honeymoon stage no more, huh?), and somehow I think I've finally put my finger on something that was bothering me, lingering at the back of my mind. I figured out that some of you may have suggestions, or at least have also experienced this stage of 'tiredness' regarding all that weight loss stuff. Unless it's just me, and I'm going through something weird?
The thing is, these days, I'm always thinking about food. Always. Not in a "I'm always hungry" way (healthy foods seldom leave you hungry, after all), but in a "I'm always worried about it" way. To the point of worrying about eating enough and having a healthy snack with me in case of and all that stuff actually makes me hungry just because I think of it!
I have to add that this is new for me--when I lost weight naturally during my very first years of college, as well as 3-4 years ago when I started gaining more, I wouldn't think about food all the time. I've never been a person who "lived to eat", or whatever you want to call it; I was just mostly uninformed and didn't think much about what I was putting in my mouth, not realizing the caloric intake, the importance of exercise, etc.
But now--now, that's just so tiring! It's tiring waking up in the morning and immediately worrying about "if I eat one extra portion of cabbage, how many calories will that be?" It's tiring always wondering about who the heck will bring croissants at the office *again* on Monday, or Tuesday, or also Wednesday while we're at it (most often they don't appeal to me any more, but I'm not that strong yet if caught in a vulnerable state on a particular day). It's not that I'm bored and have nothing to do all day long either, giving me the munchies, on the contrary; however, even having many things to do doesn't prevent me from constantly worrying. Isn't it silly? Worrying about calories while in the middle of revising classes about the theory of semantics! I know about the need to plan, yet as a result? It's like I now already worry the day before about whether my breakfast choice was the good one, and I tell you, falling asleep thinking about food is crap.
Someone please tell me it's just a bad period to go through, and that I won't be miserable like that for the rest of my life... I can muster the strength to temporarily white-knuckle myself into it and not regain all the weight I've lost, but I also can't eternally devote all my inner energy to that (not with a job and studies looming around me all the time). My aim is to find a way of eating/healthy living that will NOT look like a diet, so I also don't want to "do South Beach" or "do WW" or "do whatever official meal plan", even for a few months, because this would just contribute to making me worry some more about points/fat & carb grams/etc, and throw me into a "diet vs. lifestyle" mindset. On the other hand, being small in height and not that big anymore in weight, I'm also aware that even though I am quite active, biking everywhere and never taking the lift and all (I don't count that as exercise anyway), I can't just ignore everything I've learnt so far regarding what and how much to eat, else I know I'll regain. Maybe in a few years, this will be all natural to me and the risk will be lessened, but not now, not yet. (I can pig out and gain weight on bananas and other healthy foods, that's really not a problem, heh.)
Is there anyone among you who went through that, no matter at what stage of your weight loss and/or maintenance? And did you find ways to not always worry (ways that I've probably overlooked because they haven't occurred to me yet, hoping they exist)? Or is it just a bad moment that fortunately goes away all by itself after a while?
Seriously, I'm tired. But I also don't want to let this go on, and give up in a few weeks or months because it's driving me crazy.
I can DEFINITELY relate to you. It's driving me crazy lately too.
Food is constantly on my mind. Probably more so now then it was even in the begining and middle portion of my journey. And I don't care for it much either. I'm always worried thinking about what's next, what food is going to be around where ever I happen to be going. How am I going to deal with it? What's the plan? What's my stategy going to be? What am I going to do here and there and so on and so on.
I do notice though that I go through stages. Some weeks these thoughts are constant, literally constant, even when I'm in the throes of work or dealing with the kids. This is the stage I'm in right this second. Other times, these feelings are not quite as strong. Hopefully these thoughts will diminish for you as well as time goes on. But like I said, I have periods where they are diminished, but then they do seem to come back just as strong - and then they diminish. I can't quite figure out how and why the patterns change for me.
I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I don't enjoy when these feelings and constant thoughts are occuring, but they seem to be totally uncontrollable, despite all my planning and rationalizing and whatnot.
As far as being tired of the actual planning and counting, for me, there is no alternative. Tired of it or not, I plan to do it forever. Watching my portions and leaving things to chance just doesn't work for me. I would absolutely love it if it DID work, but that's not the case. So I will continue to count and plan and count some more - the alternative being too risky for me. I'm just not willing to take that chance. Given the 2 choices, I'm just going to have to stick with the counting and planning. I wouldn't exactly say it feels like a "diet" for me, more like this IS a lifestyle. But it's a lifestyle that I need to monitor.
I'm also a very extreme person. I wonder if that's the reason why I'm always thinking about my food? For me not thinking about it, means not caring about it. So, perhaps my mind in its own funny little way, wants to make sure that I'm always caring about my food intake - so therefore I think about it constantly. Who knows?
I hope the constant thinking about it subsides (for the both of us). Not totally, because I think it has its benefits. That awareness that is so important. I mean that's what's going to keep us from overeating, hopefully. I"m pretty sure our long term maintainers around here will chime in and tell us their thoughts. Though I certainly can't speak for them, I'm pretty sure they just might say that in some ways it gets easier, just because they're so used to it and it is more like second nature - and in other ways, not so much.
I'm sorry that it's driving you crazy and you're tired of it and all, but dear Lord, don't you ever talk about giving it up. Remember just how much happier you are now, then when you were heavier. It's all worth it. And hopefully this is just a phase. Hang in there. Just hang in there. It really and truly IS worth it.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 09-08-2007 at 06:06 AM.
I do not want to give up, it's not in my intentions, and counting/weighing food in itself isn't what bothers me. If I could simply be like "OK, here's the food plan for today/this week, I'm going to eat this and that, let's note it down now and I'm settled", and then not worry about it any more because, well, it is settled, it would be just nice. What I'm tired of is really that part about having food worries constantly on my mind, planning or no planning, counting or no counting, because as you put it well enough, it seems to be uncontrollable. Awareness is totally alright, and I believe necessary, too... complete obsession is not.
What's sad is that it IS worth it--being thinner, healthier, able to climb the stairs without panting, etc.--and I don't want to give all of this up, but somehow it doesn't make me truly happy if it means obsessing, being that way in such conditions. I really, really also hope it's a phase that will subside. If I know that it will go away, even if it's to come back and go away again later on, at least it's some kind of comfort, since it means it won't be with me *all* the time...
Well, I guess we'll be the two of us hanging there at the moment. Bugger. As if we needed that on top of having had to do all the work and lose the weight to start with.
i can completely relate to what you are saying too. For a few months in the past winter, i got sooooo sick of worrying about what one extra fruit was going to do to my weight or skipping out on one day at the gym that I did just give up because I got frustrated and thought that I shouldn't live to eat. Rather, I should eat to live.
I ended up gaining around 10 lbs and about 2 months ago, I decided that I was going to restart keeping track of what I eat and trying consciously not to overeat (my problem was never really eating unhealthily but rather portion control). These days, I feel like I've semi gotten over my obsession over food. I still try to watch what I eat and journal my food intake online. But I only do it at the end of each day, so that when I'm deciding what to eat, I'm not driving myself crazy trying to figure out if I have the right number of calories/fat/protein/carbs, etc.
And I've also picked up a habit to try to eat on sort of a schedule so that I train my body to know when it'll be hungry and about how much food it will need at each meal/snack. When I eat on schedule, I find that I'm always eating when I'm hungry and I end up making decently healthy food choices each time I eat without having to over-think anything. I always carry a healthy snack with me too, so that I don't obsess over what will happen if I didn't eat enough at one meal and get hungry in the middle of the day.
I think the biggest hurdle I got over was eating out and eating a treat here & there, like a cookie or ice cream or something. I ate a pretty big meal for dinner at the beginning of my 2 months, and finished off dinner with cake and dessert. but in the big scheme of things, eating that extra dessert and appetizer had no effect on my weight at all. And because of that, each time I feel like I'm not full and I want to eat a little bit more than usual, I just think back to all the times that I did eat more and how in the big scheme of things, it won't really kill any progress I've made so far.
And I've found that no matter what I eat, as long as I stay active and go to the gym, it's very easy for my body to "absorb" the extra calories that I do eat when I go out, etc. And so, it's helped me obsess less. I don't really weigh myself on the scale anymore. Instead, every morning I check how my pants fit when I put them on.
All of those little things have helped me to let go some of the obsessions and fears I'd been carrying with me for almost a year. I don't think I'll ever go back to the way I ate before: eat whatever and whenever. I'll always have to plan how to eat and how much to eat because that's how I can stay healthy in the long run.
So don't give up! Keep on trying to tweak your lifestyle one bit at a time so that you can find the perfect balance between planning and just enjoying yourself.
Interesting discussion! I don't think I've experienced this type of obsession, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because my tendency in the past was to not think about food--and then overeat when I got overly hungry (or really, whenever it was meal or snack time). I've never been one to wonder what I would have for my next meal until it was time to fix it.
Now, I do pay attention to portions, with a mind to how many calories I'm getting--but I don't worry much about it in advance. I enter foods into my FitDay as I go, so I know throughout the day, usually, how much I've already eaten. But I can't say I've ever wondered what the "hit" would be for an extra serving of cabbage! (or whatever)
I wonder where the hypervigilance comes from. One thought I have is that food may have become the focal point for general anxiety. That is, if one is stressed, overworked, anxious, "nervous" as it used to be called, the mind with its great desire for control turns to the food program and worries about that.
Usually when I'm anxious and overworked, my thoughts turn to money--how much is there, how much is needed, where will it come from, etc.
My guess is that there's a mental habit happening. Perhaps next time you find yourself trying to fall asleep and fretting about breakfast choices, you could catch yourself--and ask, "Am I really worried about this, or about something else?" If nothing else, that might break the train of thought.
I get into a spiral. I'm not even sure what starts it. It might be tiredness or busy-ness or having others make plans for me and disrupting my flow
I realise that my day off is almost over- I could run and get a few things that would make eating for a few days a lot easier -but- I feel like tacos -I get low fat stuff but eat too much- my belly complains -the next morning I'm too draggy to prepare a decent lunch -and of course I haven't done it the night before -shrug- I worry all morning that I'll be able to find something helpful in the cafeteria - then eat whatever I feel like anyway - OK I'll stop on the way home and get something better - or I'm too tired on the way home to stop and after all ... there is sandwich stuff - I'll just have one nice lean sandwich - or two and a peanutbutter one too - man I feel like crap - a beer will help me relax - I must do better tomorrow, I must do better tomorrow -runs through my head before I fall asleep - I slug my derriere off to work without breakfast again ... What the heck to you mean that party is tonight? Is it Saturday already? I've been planning all week to get back into the groove properly!
Suddenly, it's almost a week since I've walked. I don't remember when I lifted last. I feel tired, bloated, emotionally drained from all the stewing about it all. The thought even crosses my mind that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to weigh 130 lbs again.
But it's not really about the weight. If I did all the things I need to do ... and that's not bad or hard or complicated ... I'd feel better .... physically, emotionally.
I may indeed have missed the mark on Kery's question, but all this was to say that yes, I think it's a phase we all go thru.
I do this too! It doesn't bother me too much though and I don't know if I've gone as far as you. I do think about food a lot though. I plan my food for the day every morning. Every morning, I know how much and what type of exercise I am going to do. I don't write anything down when I plan, though. The thing is that just about everything I eat, I know the point values in my head (I "do WW" ). So I eat my breakfast, pack my lunch, and know right then how many points I will have leftover for dinner and what I'm planning on doing for exercise throughout the day (a walk at lunch, jogging when I get home, etc depending on my schedule). But even though I've planned the WHOLE DAY, I still think about food A LOT. What if I want popcorn instead of that peach I brought to work with me? How will that effect my day? What if I don't end up fitting in that walk? It gets annoying, but it is WORTH IT to be thinking about these things. I'd rather be semi-obsessive over them and keep losing weight and get to my goal and maintain it than gain the weight back. I did that once before by getting very lax and losing my support structure, and I'm not going to let it happen again!
I think about it all the time too. What cycles is how much it bothers me.
For example, hubby and I want to have some wine, fruit and cheese tonight. Knowing that, I have to figure out how to build my day around that, not only to get calories in, but enough protein, vegetables, calcium, etc...
When I'm doing well, in my mind this is a challenge! When I'm stressed or really busy, it's a drudgery, or a chain around my neck.
While I was walking Heather posted just what I was thinking.
Somedays it feels like I've aced the game! Other days? crikey, I have to slice tomatoes gain?
This thread jumped out at me this morning. I've also been experiencing feelings of just being tired of it all. It has never gotten easy for me and I still obsess over my food and exercise. I think my biggest problem is that I went the route of Atkins to lose my weight. 6 months after reaching goal I switched to Calorie Counting and began to religiously log my food in Fitday. Now, my Dr. has told me to do South Beach. I'm mainly tired of worrying if I'm eating the right food. It has been so hard to figure out How many carbs, How many Calories, and now what is the Glycemic Index of my foods. I am definitely struggling to maintain my weight and wish I didn't have to worry so much. I guess after 2 yrs., I'm just sick of worrying. But, like others have mentioned, even the worrying seems to come in cycles for me. Some days I will feel like I'm totally stressed about it. Other days it seems easier to just pick the right food and not obsess over it. No matter what, I'm not giving up. The not obsessing and the subsequent consequence of obesity is a worse alternative than the worry that I am experiencing.
I am lucky in that I don't have any major health issues to worry about, and so I made a decision early on to keep things as simple as possible in what I track. I don't track anything but calories. No counting protein, carbs, fat, sodium, fiber, vitamins, minerals or anything else. I keep basic guidelines on what to eat, limit junk food (and we all know what junk food is), and try to get in healthy foods and all the rest takes care of itself. Lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and lean meats and dairy. Indulgences are allowed, but should be worth the calories (and we all know what is worth the calories and what isn't). But you know I have good days and bad days, and it all works out in the end. So after almost 5 years of weight management, I'm pretty good at my baseline diet, and don't really sweat it. I have habits now, and I just do them, and have some faith it'll get me there. I do have to watch it some when I'm not getting enough sleep because it becomes really easy for me to eat sugary junk, but at least I know the pattern, and I know the solution isn't to control the junk, it is to get more sleep.
The trouble I have (mostly) with other people's stuff. Here's news for the boss. When donuts come to the meeting, I don't think about the meeting. When people bring chocolate to work, my productivity takes a dive, because I'm thinking about the chocolate, how much I want it, how to avoid eating it, how much I wish I wouldn't have eaten it, etc. I've had some progress with that in the last couple of weeks. Well, with the behavior anyway. I just keep telling myself, it really isn't that big a deal if there is food around and slowly I'm beginning to believe myself and act accordingly. The world will not come to an end if I don't eat the cookies. It also won't come to an end if I do. Oddly enough, this realization makes it easier to make a good choice and not obsess about it so much, although I doubt there will every be a point in my life where I would barely even notice the cookies. Again, good days and bad days on the cookie obsession. Good months and bad months, and having been doing this for a while now it looks like, sigh, good years and bad years.
The other thing that occurs to me with this thread is the issue of being tired of it, actively managing my weight. Yes, I get tired of it. I'm also tired of going to work, dealing with a kid who is at the peak of the terrible twos, flossing my teeth, reminding DH yet again to do something he said he'd do, etc etc etc. And yet what are the options? There are none. You just do it. I tell myself, that not every part of life is fun, but in the end, it is all rewarding. Weight management is just one more thing. I just do it. The days are rough, but the results are rewarding.
I wonder where the hypervigilance comes from. One thought I have is that food may have become the focal point for general anxiety. That is, if one is stressed, overworked, anxious, "nervous" as it used to be called, the mind with its great desire for control turns to the food program and worries about that.
Usually when I'm anxious and overworked, my thoughts turn to money--how much is there, how much is needed, where will it come from, etc.
My guess is that there's a mental habit happening. Perhaps next time you find yourself trying to fall asleep and fretting about breakfast choices, you could catch yourself--and ask, "Am I really worried about this, or about something else?" If nothing else, that might break the train of thought.
That's an interesting idea. You may very well be on something here, at least as far as I'm concerned. It's true that even though stress doesn't cause me hypertension, illness and nasty side-effects like that, I definitely am stressed quite often. :| My job, college, not knowing how I'll manage everything without skipping classes or homework now and then, not having much money, not knowing if I will have a 'real job' by 30 or if things will go on like this much longer... In a way, food is indeed the 'easiest' thing to openly worry about, and the one I might have the most control on at the moment, so maybe I just obsess about it in an attempt to control at least *something* (not that I can't control college, but it hasn't started yet, so it's in the "OMG what WILL happen?? Big Unknown!"" phase).
I'm going to keep that in mind. Thanks for suggesting it.
I may indeed have missed the mark on Kery's question, but all this was to say that yes, I think it's a phase we all go thru.
Not sure if you've missed the mark or not, it's too early for me to think clearly. But I also know what you mean with that. It's easy--too easy--to let such thoughts get the best of us, unfortunately.
But even though I've planned the WHOLE DAY, I still think about food A LOT. What if I want popcorn instead of that peach I brought to work with me? How will that effect my day? What if I don't end up fitting in that walk? It gets annoying, but it is WORTH IT to be thinking about these things. I'd rather be semi-obsessive over them and keep losing weight and get to my goal and maintain it than gain the weight back. I did that once before by getting very lax and losing my support structure, and I'm not going to let it happen again!
That's exactly the problem. planning and counting is alright. I'm just tired of thinking those "what if I want another snack?" thoughts, because what should matter is that I do have a snack, right, and am not running any risk of ending up starving by dinner time! I don't intend on giving up, I just wish I didn't have those crappy thoughts running in my head on top of all the other worries currently going on, because it kind of saps a dose of my energy I could really do something better with. >.<
That said, yes, it is worth it nonetheless. Even if I were to regain all my weight, I'm sure I would still be worried about food, so what's the point.
I'm mainly tired of worrying if I'm eating the right food. It has been so hard to figure out How many carbs, How many Calories, and now what is the Glycemic Index of my foods. I am definitely struggling to maintain my weight and wish I didn't have to worry so much. I guess after 2 yrs., I'm just sick of worrying. But, like others have mentioned, even the worrying seems to come in cycles for me. Some days I will feel like I'm totally stressed about it. Other days it seems easier to just pick the right food and not obsess over it. No matter what, I'm not giving up. The not obsessing and the subsequent consequence of obesity is a worse alternative than the worry that I am experiencing.
I think I should print something like this--"obesity is worse than the worry" on a card and keep it with me at all times. True, it's worse. Maybe consciously thinking that will contribute to helping.
I hadn't mentioned what you did, but that as well: sometimes it's hard to know what is best for us. Maybe if this was the only thing we had to worry about, it wouldn't be that bad, but I bet most of us do have other things in life to worry about that do and have to come first.
Oh well. I'll suck it up. From what you all said, it seems it's indeed a phase more than something definitive, so it's very likely possible to deal with it.
The tiring part of it all?
(or whatever)
). So I eat my breakfast, pack my lunch, and know right then how many points I will have leftover for dinner and what I'm planning on doing for exercise throughout the day (a walk at lunch, jogging when I get home, etc depending on my schedule). But even though I've planned the WHOLE DAY, I still think about food A LOT. What if I want popcorn instead of that peach I brought to work with me? How will that effect my day? What if I don't end up fitting in that walk? It gets annoying, but it is WORTH IT to be thinking about these things. I'd rather be semi-obsessive over them and keep losing weight and get to my goal and maintain it than gain the weight back. I did that once before by getting very lax and losing my support structure, and I'm not going to let it happen again!
