I Wish I Was a Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
Your husband expects you to growl when you wakeup.
He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wish I was a bear.