New Medications For Women
There are new medications out on the market for women.....
D A M I T O L - Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to h*ll for up to 8
St. M A M A' S W O R T - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N - Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and
how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
F L I P I T O R - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road
rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N - Potent anti-boy-otic for women. Increases
resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ...
can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL - When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a
Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
J A C K A S S P I R I N - Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
R A G A M E T - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation
as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of
doing it herself.
285 Highest weight 01/20/03
235 current weight
quit smoking and maintain while doing it - mini goal by 05/26/03
220 and stay away from the cigarettes - next mini goal by June 28
150 goal weight
Be careful kissing princes; they may turn into frogs