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New Medications For Women

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Old 04-01-2003, 03:02 AM   #1
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Location: Pittsburgh PA area
Posts: 68

Wink New Medications For Women

There are new medications out on the market for women.....

D A M I T O L - Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to h*ll for up to 8
hours.

St. M A M A' S W O R T - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N - Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and
how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

F L I P I T O R - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road
rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N - Potent anti-boy-otic for women. Increases
resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ...
can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL - When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a
Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N - Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

R A G A M E T - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation
as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of
doing it herself.
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Elaine

285 Highest weight 01/20/03
235 current weight
quit smoking and maintain while doing it - mini goal by 05/26/03
220 and stay away from the cigarettes - next mini goal by June 28
150 goal weight


Be careful kissing princes; they may turn into frogs
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Old 04-04-2003, 02:44 AM   #2
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Oh those were to funny! I love them all. Congrats on the great weight loss. Howare you doing it?
Daphne
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Old 04-13-2003, 05:46 PM   #3
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Too funny!! I want some of the "Jackasspirin"....reckon where I can find it?!

Thanks for sharing!
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A "Cheer" for each 5lb. I've lost!
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Old 04-13-2003, 10:09 PM   #4
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Sherry - I wish I knew where to find them!!

Daphne - Sorry it took so long to answer, but I'm using a modified version of the atkins diet. It's really been a lot easier than I expected, I just hope it keeps working. I had been doing low fat but I wasn't losing, then my Dr. told me that it was the wrong diet since I have a hypothyroid. She told me to use a low carb but makes some changes like watching the cholesterol and count my calories as well as the carbs. So far so good!
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Elaine

285 Highest weight 01/20/03
235 current weight
quit smoking and maintain while doing it - mini goal by 05/26/03
220 and stay away from the cigarettes - next mini goal by June 28
150 goal weight


Be careful kissing princes; they may turn into frogs
meembo is offline  
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