As tax time creeps nearer, the IRS schemes up yet another way to get more money out of our pockets, into theirs. Women, warn your men. Men, well, what can I say except I bet this is the first time you'd not want a refund.
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it's in the hole. It has two dependents, but they're nuts.
Effective January 1, 2003, penises will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows: 10"-12" Luxury Tax, 8"-10" Pole Tax, 5"-8" Privilege Tax, 4"-5" Nuisance Tax. Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!
Issues still under consideration are as follows: Are there penalties for early withdrawal? Do multiple partners count as a corporation? Are condoms deductible as work clothes?