3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter > Lighten Up!

Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

The English Assignment

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-13-2011, 01:42 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
170starting's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Southern Maryland
Posts: 631

S/C/G: ticker

Height: 5'6.25''

Default The English Assignment

A supposed assignment actually turned in by two English students:



Rebecca <last name deleted> Gary <last name deleted>English 44A
Creative Writing
Prof Miller

In-class Assignment for Wednesday

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.
-----------------------------

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
You total ###.
Stupid #####.
__________________


My Diet Blog:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/170starting/
170starting is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2011, 02:04 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
zoodoo613's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 857

S/C/G: 220/ticker/135

Height: 5'2"

Default

Love it!

(I don't believe it's the actual product of such an assignment, but I love it none-the-less.)
__________________




First mini-goal: 5% - 209 - Met 04/29/11
Second mini-goal: 10% - 198 - Met 6/27/11
Third mini-goal: 15% - 187
zoodoo613 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2011, 05:02 PM   #3
PhDelicious
 
SMess's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Davis, CA
Posts: 44

S/C/G: 256/ticker/155

Height: 5'10''

Default

I had to do one of these in seventh grade, but it wasn't nearly as good.
__________________


One for every 10 lbs lost:

It's not about where the journey ends. It's about how you got there.
SMess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2011, 08:48 PM   #4
Made of Starstuff
 
Lovely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,806

Default

Aww... I was wondering how the story was going to end
__________________
~Made of star stuff~
Lovely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2011, 05:21 AM   #5
One step at a time
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: The land of Spare Room in the City of Wardrobe..-C.S. Lewis
Posts: 109

Default

Yah me too..it was captivating until everyone died!
Jasesgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2011, 11:29 AM   #6
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 351

S/C/G: 212/216/150

Height: 5'3

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasesgirl View Post
Yah me too..it was captivating until everyone died!
Didn't you know?? In those books, no one really has to die. lol I would have gone back 15 seconds thanks to a rip in the fabric of the space time continuim and beamed off the planet. lol
Wish I could have done one of those. lol
CrystalZ10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 12:48 PM   #7
Member
 
Bethedee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 97

Default

This made me laugh out loud. In class. Everyone looked at me. : P
Bethedee is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Beck Diet For Life/Solution February 2010 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach BillBlueEyes Beck Diet Solution 259 03-01-2010 05:28 AM
What are you reading in 2008? Kim_Star060404 South Beach Diet 397 12-29-2008 01:44 PM
The Beck Diet Solution November 2008 Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach BillBlueEyes LA Weight Loss 206 12-01-2008 04:49 AM
Going to try this again ... akihega South Beach Diet 70 07-14-2005 02:46 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:32 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2