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Trips to Target
12-11-2009, 10:09 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,146
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Trips to Target
Just got this in my inbox and decided to share with you guys. 
Trips to Target
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.. June 15: Took
24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2.. July 2: Set all
the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3.. July 7: He made
a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
restroom.
4... July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3
in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from
her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.
5.. August 4: Went
to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6.. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.. August 15: Set
up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8.
August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs
were called..
9.. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while
he picked his nose.
10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk
where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In
the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using dif
ferent sizes of funnels.
13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK
ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not
least:
15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled
very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
the clerks passed out.
__________________
"All of the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening."
-Alexander Woollcott
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12-12-2009, 09:13 AM
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#2
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I'M A YOGA WIDOWER!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 21,471
S/C/G: 201/186/180
Height: 6'
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Hilarious!
__________________
 As long as I live I will TESTIFY HIS LOVE!
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12-12-2009, 02:33 PM
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#3
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Eat Well to Feel Well
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Maine, USA
Posts: 3,607
S/C/G: 205/maintaining 145 - 150
Height: 5'3"
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 LOL I loved this!
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12-12-2009, 03:48 PM
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#4
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Back on Track 2 Healthy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,804
S/C/G: 258/210/Healthy
Height: 5 feet Tall
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Was this written about Gary?
__________________
Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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12-12-2009, 10:47 PM
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#5
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Just for today...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,101
S/C/G: 191/190/165
Height: 6'0'
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that is great!
Last edited by chickybird : 12-12-2009 at 10:48 PM.
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12-12-2009, 11:04 PM
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#6
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onedayatatimer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,294
S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155
Height: 5'9.5"
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Thanks for posting! Very funny!!! 
__________________
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12-13-2009, 11:28 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 1,346
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OMG...funny!!! Sounds like my dad!!
__________________
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12-13-2009, 07:58 PM
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#8
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Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Dunedin, FL
Posts: 6
S/C/G: 206/201/148
Height: 5'7"
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Too too funny! Laughed til I cried. Now I've got to share that at the Xmas party for the retirees that live in my building.
Broccoligirl
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04-05-2010, 12:16 PM
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#9
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Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ohio
Posts: 29
Height: 5ft 2in
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lol i work at target and i have seen some weird stuff like this happen before!!
i never knew how random people could be til i worked in retail myself
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04-07-2010, 03:19 PM
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#10
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I have another theory . .
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Here not there
Posts: 39
S/C/G: 161/161/130
Height: 5'2"
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04-08-2010, 11:54 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 383
S/C/G: 178/163/135
Height: 5'7.5"
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Hilarious!
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05-03-2010, 05:04 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 334
S/C/G: 271/222/140
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Sooo funny! Thank you so much for sharing!
Amy
__________________
Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be. KT Tunstall
Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Oliver Goldsmith
This is my chance! Shinedown
Go for it. Tabatha Coffey
Don't give up the fight...Determination always gets you where you're going. Stevie Nicks
Take your passion and make it happen! Irene Cara
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08-02-2010, 01:25 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 115
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That was funny
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08-02-2010, 02:04 AM
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#14
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Bella Signora ♥
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Palermo, Italy
Posts: 1,368
Height: 5'4.5''
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__________________
sierra. seventeen. engaged.
reserved are the depths of my heart, only for you. ♥
i will be marrying my dashing fellow on august
8th, 2012 under the presence of God,
our friends, and our family.
fitblurrr & letters to the gentleman (:
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