3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter > Lighten Up!

Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

New Office Policies!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-18-2009, 11:23 PM   #1
Member
 
Crazy4Kenny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: SW Indiana
Posts: 71

S/C/G: 226/see ticker/130

Height: 5'4

Default New Office Policies!

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE



















EFFECTIVE October 1, 2008

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employe e will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement isnecessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders'
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's
all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!
__________________
Jennifer Laugh-Love-Lose


Crazy4Kenny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2009, 12:06 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
harrismm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 1,344

Default

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!I am taking that to work.It is so appropriate right now.
__________________
harrismm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2009, 06:05 AM   #3
Senior Member
 
dutchgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 759

Height: 5'6"

Default


Boy, someone put an almighty amount of work into that prank!
dutchgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2009, 07:33 AM   #4
Senior Member
 
zinkemomx2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 1,337

S/C/G: HW-300.2 GW-<175

Height: 5' 5.75"

Default

Love it!
__________________
Highest weight 306.9
Lowest adult weight I can remember 228
zinkemomx2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2009, 10:08 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
flowingair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 236

S/C/G: 225/223/150

Height: 5'5''

Default

Funny :rolf:
__________________
Go Red Team[img]



flowingair is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2009, 06:36 AM   #6
Senior Member
 
ferretgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Corsicana, Texas
Posts: 200

S/C/G: 150/123.5/113

Height: 5' 2.5"

Default

Hilarious!
__________________
ferretgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2009, 07:31 PM   #7
5 lbs at a time!!
 
better life's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 194

S/C/G: 202/195/150

Height: 4'11

Default

LOL....wow...that is a whole lotta cardboard
better life is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2009, 02:26 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
SunshineCA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184

Default

Looks like many of the governmental offices here in California!!! Please don't give Arnold any ideas!!
__________________
"All of the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening."
-Alexander Woollcott

SunshineCA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2009, 02:51 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
Deana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 588

Default

LOL I like that cubicle better than my own
Deana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-2009, 03:00 PM   #10
Burn It!
 
Aclai4067's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 2,552

S/C/G: 337.4/326.6/155

Height: 5'8

Default

The bathroom policy is my favorite!
__________________
Ashley
Mini Goal 1- 5%


Overall:
Aclai4067 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:48 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2