11-24-2008, 12:27 PM
Join Date: Aug 2005
Famous Success quotes
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
~ Stupidity got us into this mess... So why can't it get us out?
~ Think about it! In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
~ I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
~ Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
~ My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
~ I plan on living forever... So far, so good.
~ Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
~ I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
~ ~ I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.
~ Everyone has a photographic memory... Some don't have film.
"How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?"
"Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!"
"A plastic surgeon's office is the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!"
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Misspent Life
A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out The Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House
A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen... And This Kitchen Is Delirious
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Countless Number Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives
Help Keep the Kitchen Clean - Eat Out
Housework Done Properly Can Kill You
If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.
No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
"My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse"
"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
"I Don't Suffer from Insanity....
I'm a Carrier"
""I'm Not 50...
I'm $49.95 Plus Shipping & Handling "
"You Who Think You Know It All Are Really Annoying to Those of Us Who Do"
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
I cleaned my house yesterday. Sure wish you could have seen it.
This isn't clutter; these are my antiques!
Discover wildlife! Have kids!
Our policy is to always blame the computer.
Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
Take my advice. I'm not using it!
Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!
This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.