Rules of Chocolate
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices &
strawberries all count as fruit,
so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate
home from the store in hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.>
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of
calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate,
it will keep in the freezer.
But if you can't eat all your chocolate,
what's wrong with you?
If calories are an issue,
store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights, and
they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and
white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?
Don't they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives.
Preservatives make you look younger.
Q. Why is there no such organization
as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.
If not for chocolate, there
would be no need for control top pantyhose.
An entire garment industry would be devastated.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of
your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate!
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