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Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

reasonable cause.....

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Old 01-08-2008, 07:12 PM   #1
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actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.

Everything clear?

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ... the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, Half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...
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Old 01-08-2008, 07:58 PM   #2
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OMG! LMAO! I'm sorry that is terrible!! Yet from my point of you it's hilarious and makes for a great story!
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Old 01-08-2008, 08:03 PM   #3
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Wow. That story really made me laugh, yet at the same time pretty pissed. I would have let her have it! What did you really do about it? I would like to hear! I don't think I would ever go back to that hospital, or at least that doctor again!
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Old 01-08-2008, 08:50 PM   #4
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's a joke!

A very funny one too! Although if this happened to me in real life I think I would be explaining why I'd committed homicide. Lol.
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Old 01-08-2008, 09:06 PM   #5
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LOL, okay I feel silly now
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Old 01-09-2008, 01:27 PM   #6
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yes, sorry, not PERSONALLY me....
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Old 01-09-2008, 01:55 PM   #7
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At first I thought it was you, ennay!!! LOL. Thankfully it is a joke (albeit a cruel one!!). One ought to print this out and accidentally leave a few copies in the dressing room at your next mammo appointment!!!
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Old 01-11-2008, 11:20 AM   #8
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FlabulessPhyllis and PurdueGal: Over at the Straight Dope, when somebody takes seriously a statement that's obviously a joke they call that a "whoosh". You have been whooshed
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