Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

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Old 03-02-2007, 02:26 PM   #1  
2 wheels is plenty :D
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Default They're Back - church bulletin bloopers

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the Water." The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.


Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is ****?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
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Old 03-02-2007, 04:50 PM   #2  
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I love these. Thank you!
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Old 03-02-2007, 07:10 PM   #3  
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hilarious!!!!
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Old 03-02-2007, 07:27 PM   #4  
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Those are priceless!! Almost makes me want to go back to church -- looks like that's where all the fun is...

Thanks for posting them!
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Old 03-04-2007, 12:55 AM   #5  
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Default Thanx ... Gina

How dull life would be without our sixth sense ~ a sense of humor! Once again ... you made me laugh! Rosebud.
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Old 03-14-2007, 11:14 AM   #6  
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Thanks, these were just what a stressed out church organist needed to brighten her day.
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Old 03-14-2007, 12:25 PM   #7  
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Quote:
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Oh,they are all funny,but this one is my favorite! Thanks
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Old 03-14-2007, 01:14 PM   #8  
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Too funny!
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Old 04-23-2007, 04:02 PM   #9  
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LOL, those are great.
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Old 04-25-2007, 03:37 PM   #10  
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Those are GREAT!
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Old 04-28-2007, 12:39 PM   #11  
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Old 05-12-2007, 07:38 PM   #12  
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lmao Those were priceless!!
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Old 06-03-2007, 10:41 PM   #13  
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Lol~! Awesome Xd
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Old 06-14-2007, 12:17 PM   #14  
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roflmao!
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Old 07-02-2007, 09:46 AM   #15  
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Loooool thank you so much for posting these and brightening up my day!!
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