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My rant for the day.....

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Old 08-23-2006, 10:40 AM   #1
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Default My rant for the day.....

Okay I can't take it anymore, I have to get this off my chest. Why does everyone "ASSume" that because a person is overweight they eat everything in site? I mean not every person who is overweight can eat 2-4 hamburgers at a sitting, with extra large fries, milkshake and oh yeah some chicken nuggets!?!!! I guess tv and magazines might have something to do with it. They are always publishing stories about overweight people and showing these outrageous amounts of food that people eat! For example yesterday's Dr. Phil repeat. A woman on there overweight and they show all these mounds of food, her family talks about how she stuffs it in so much they are embarrassed to be with her out in public eating, etc. etc. I realize that there are those people that DO eat that amount of food, but not everyone does.

I guess this affects me because I don't really eat that much. I am insulin resistant diabetic II, with pcos. I admit I have made bad choices in what I chose to ate, but in no way did I ever eat a whole pizza by myself. Just the other day my husband and I went out to eat for my bd. We went to a nice mexican restaraunt i have never been there so I was parusing( SP?) the menu. I made one choice then changed my mind and tried something else. I was still looking at the menu when the waiter said to my oh honey thats a lot of food (what i ordered one enchilada entree) EVEN FOR YOU!!! OMFG the nerve! I was very offended. He repeated that to me a couple of three times. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the in-laws house and had dinner. I would get my plate and get what I wanted to satisfy me only to have someone say, "oh come on *****, we all know you eat more than that?!!!" WTH

I also want to say that I am not judging the people who do eat like that in anyway. My heart breaks for them and the struggles they have. Food is a powerful drug. I always say an alcoholic can give up booze but a food addict has to eat!?!

I just had to get that off my chest and say that we can never generalize about anyone or anything.

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Old 08-23-2006, 11:27 AM   #2
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My sociology class taught me a lot about this very subject. When we try to understand a commen thread amongst a group of people, we generalize it in academia. We make very generalized ideas and theories and we study how our generalization plays out in the world. We understand, however, that our generalization is about a group of people with a common thread and that generalization tells us absolutely nothing about the individual people. The reverse is true too, what we learn about an individual person cannot be applied to a group of people in generalization.

You could say "Overweight people overeat on food that are not healthy" and that would be a statement you could do something with. You could develop therapy and diet plans for the 50%, 60% of overweight people who fall into this generalization. You could not, however, pick a fat person out of the crowd and say "Since you overeat on foods that are not healthy, why don't you just stop and pick better foods?" You might be talking to someone with an insulin problem and has no problem with their food choices. You could be talking to someone who has lost 80 lbs so far on their very healthy diet. You never know.

This is a good post topic to talk about. Thanks for bringing it up.
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Old 08-23-2006, 11:49 AM   #3
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I sort of had an experience along this line recently. I was home visiting, and at supper, my dad dished me up a plate of food. The plate was filled ~ I knew I couldn't eat it all. I think he just thought that because I am overweight, that I must eat a lot. I could only eat about 1/2 of what he gave me. I wondered if he was thinking how did I get so big if I only eat that much. I don't eat that much all at once. It is a combination of eating the wrong things and eating too often. It has sort of always amazed/puzzled me how I could eat big portions of the wrong stuff, but smaller portions of healthy stuff fills me up.
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Old 08-23-2006, 12:12 PM   #4
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Oh the nerve. I surely hope you reported that waiter. and your in-laws could use a as well, for allowing you to be treated that way in their home.

About generalizations, sure its true that we all make them to some extent, but there is a difference between a generalization and ignorance. What gives someone the right to comment on your eating habits? OOhhhh.
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Old 08-23-2006, 12:29 PM   #5
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Oh, I would have been furious if a waiter had said that to me. I can't deny whatsoever that at times, I did over-eat and many times just ate a normal amount of totally unhealthy, fatty food. But, as a general rule my totally normal sized husband is the one that embarasses me when we go out to eat. He'll eat 5 lbs. of crab legs. Ask for an extra baked potato and such. Eat all his own food and half of my dinner.Absolutely never turns down a huge piece of cheesecake and has 4 or 5 beers with his meal. Makes me wonder how I ever got fat with him around stealing my food. He loves pasta and can eat more of it than I have ever seen anyone eat. He practically needs sideboards on his plate or giant bowl. I also have PCOS and Insulin Resistance and don't feel like I eat a huge amount. People just seem to ASSume too much.
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Old 08-23-2006, 02:32 PM   #6
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I just read an article that reported a study that showed overweight people eat on average 100 calories more than thin people. As a very obese person, I know that I do eat (or at least used to - now I have insulin resistance and it's hard to get the weight to come off no matter how little I eat) more than that, but even though I weigh more than twice what I should, I don't eat twice as much as I should.

A good part of it is just cultural mythology. Very few studies have actually compared how overfat people eat differently than slimmer people. And many of the studies that have been done, have shown much less difference than most people imagine.

In college, I had a roommate who ate more than I have ever seen ANY person eat, and she was average weight. She didn't seem any more active than the rest of us (she didn't run marathons or do any form of exercise that we could see), and she didn't vomit or use laxatives, so she just must have had the metabolism of a hummingbird.

I think negative stereotypes allow people to feel protected and self-righteous - to let them feel better about themselves - this can't happen to me kind of thinking.
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Old 08-23-2006, 02:43 PM   #7
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I think it would be interesting and beneficial, sometime, to open a thread and discuss the reasons why we are overweight. What makes us unique in this sense. Is it because we overeat? Do we go out to eat too often? Is it because we eat late at night for months and months on end and then go straigh to sleep? Is it chemical? Is it because of tragedy striking in our life that we couldn't deal? Is it because of school, or lifestyle changes? Is it because we don't do anything, no form of exercise or movement? Is it depression, or maybe we are too busy to eat real meals so we snack as we rush around? Did we have a baby and the weight never came off? Why is it that we as individuals didn't deal with food and weight the way many thinner people did? I think looking inside of ourselves and really thinking about this issue is a good and healthy idea.
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Old 08-23-2006, 04:48 PM   #8
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Hi Ladies!

The nerve of that guy. I would have probably asked for th manager or either just set him straight. Anyway; I too Have PCOS and have a hard time getting the weight off. I didn't realize how little I did eat until I went on the LA weight loss it seems like I eat a lot more food. I have found too that I'm one of those who has to exercise to see it come off. all the dieting has my metabolism running at slug speed.
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Old 08-24-2006, 10:12 AM   #9
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Tomkyn, as always you have some great insight to share. I agree it would be great to explore. I know that I have not always made good choices in what I ate but as I said before I usually had less on my plate than the rest of the family and I was satisfied with what I ate. That being said since I have started spending so much time at the folks helping out I have noticed my mother triggers the tendency to want to binge purely from pushing the right buttons.

Case in point. The other day when I got ready for work I ate my yogurt, a banana, a peice of toast. Didn't take my bag with me for lunch. So when I got home at two. I had two bowls of salad (VV) cottage cheese (p) wheat thins (S), a little while later I was counting up what i still needed to eat and went to look for something. My dear mother says to me....you have been stuffing your face since you got home.! ARGGGGGGGGGGG She is constantly asking me now how do you count that, you can eat that, etc. etc. Needless to say it is very hard to stay properly motivated.

Anyway it is hard to lose weight period. Add on medical factors. Add on stressful situations. Add parents that make you crazy. Add on having no control of your own life and it is really really hard.

Thanks for all your replies and support.

Love you guys
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Old 08-24-2006, 10:25 AM   #10
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Beanie -

I know how you feel with that. My MIL (and I love her to death) started the "how do you count that" with me. I didn't tell them I was on LAWL until they noticed me eating differently, and I had lost 15 lbs. Then she just said how proud she was of me, etc.

Then we went on our cruise together this summer. I had already planned on this week being my break. After the first few days on the ship, I realized everything had oil in it and tons of salt. Even the "grilled" fish looked pan fried to me. So... we're out on a shore excursion and we run into KFC to get DS some chicken for lunch. I had decided not to eat, but to wait until we got back to the ship. I have ONE of DS fries, and she says... in front of my mom, my DD, my DH, his brother, his brother's girlfriend, and DIL... "you shouldn't have that". That was it... I went off. I told her that since I was not having lunch, a french fry was fine, and that it was my eating plan and I was making my own choices. I told her that I was taking the week off from the plan, and would be back on it when we returned. She didn't say another word.

When we got back, EVERYONE had gained 6 lbs. We all got on the scale and compared and it was funny that we all had the same number. Anyhoo... I did TO the day after we got back and dropped 5 lbs that week. I dropped the rest and more the following week. MIL decided to do South Beach, which she can't stick to. And then, every time she comes over she asks "are you allowed this? on my plan blah blah blah". I just tell her that I can have whatever I want carb-wise, and that I'm on a different plan. Since the cruise gain, I have lost 17 lbs. MIL has gained 10 (mean to say, but "hah"). She no longer asks if I should eat something. She started asking me what I eat.

I say you just tell your mother that you are on a certain plan that requires certain things. If she wants to join you she is more than welcome.
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Old 08-24-2006, 10:32 AM   #11
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Cassi - MIL you gotta love em but they make it really really hard! LOL I never have been able to stand up for myself in any situation. I need to work on that. *edited to add: I tend to let thing fester deep inside my soul, until one day like a big old boil they just explode all over the place.* Maybe you can give me some "get a backbone" coaching?!
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Old 08-24-2006, 10:44 AM   #12
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My in-laws are like that too. And DH. They are a lot more formal than my family. If something bothers me, I just say it. Sometimes I should learn to shut my mouth, but I will NOT let someone insult me like that, even if they think they are helping.

And she does... she loves me like the daughter she never had. But I know that I am on a long journey, and it won't be a perfect one, but I don't need someone pointing out the imperfections unless I ask them to.
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Old 08-24-2006, 11:05 AM   #13
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Hi everyone! I just had to add a little note to this. When my 16yr old was 5, we invited a mix of church friends and family to his "big boy" party. I was in the kitchen when I heard my MIL escorting one of my best friends outside to the party. She paused with her at my wedding portrait from 10 years earlier and said, look at her. She USED to be so pretty!
My friend looked horrified and so surprised, she blurted out, "Pearl is one of the most beautiful women I know and I'm not even talking about how she looks" and literally stomped away!
I still love that friend! (I love my MIL too, but I think she is here to teach me tolerance and help me grow patience!)
Cassi - I'm a simple person that shoots as straight as an arrow and everyone that knows me knows it. That's why they come to me for advise. They know I'll tell them the truth! Do I sugar coat? Yeah, I don't want to hurt anyone, but they know I'll be straight with them. Isn't that what a friend is for?!?
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