Unfortunately this is a cycle Im sure we all have been through...its terrible to do this to ourselves
You need to pick your butt up, go to the center and fess up and get back OP...once youre in the right direction and no more spiralling downward, you need to address the sabotage issues either with a friend or a counselor or find a self help book, maybe. This will follow you no matter what plan you do
You need to want this more than anything and be willing to pick up and get back on...you can do it, you know you can
If you were to trip on the sidewalk, youd get back up, right? You wouldnt lie there and get trampled. So love yourself enough to face the music, you will be glad you did. I AM SURE you will have lots of success...come here, the chicks are always here to chat