Beck Diet For Life/Solution – December 2009 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - At a restaurant for a periodic lunch with friends, I had my favorite "Portabella Mushroom Stack" - a dish I love that's about as healthy as a restaurant meal ever is; CREDIT moi. Since we go there often and I order the same thing, I knew it was coming before the waitress said, "Good for you." It cracks me up, like my mom is patting me on the head. But the good news is that during the long wait for our orders to arrive, sitting in front of rolls and butter, while everyone else munched away, I didn't have one; CREDIT moi again. It's better than that; I didn't think about having one! I didn't think about it until deciding to write about it here. I remember it was rolls instead of, say, their usual sesame crackers, because I noticed that the butter was in large triangles and I thought that odd as I watched a friend taking some.

Got my H1N1 shot. The priorities at my HMO rank healthy over-65's dead last, so I expected my immune system to have to fight it out with what it already knew. But, apparently there's a surplus of vaccine available so the dead last were serviced. So this also gave me a second walk for the day; CREDIT moi for both walks.


Kim (bennyhannamama) - Waving back at the dancing broccoli. Sleep is good. It's worth accepting that your mind and body need a little recovery space from last week.

Margaret (Nuxmaga) - Yep, Kudos for making yourself dinner instead of indulging in take-out. I continue to be impressed that you can measure out one serving of potato chips and return the bag. Thanks for demonstrating that you can give yourself credit for 2300+ steps; I tend to put myself down for the low numbers and like your reminder that they're creditable also.

FutureFitChick - Honking Kudos for persisting with your search for an exercise regime all the way to your first visit with a personal trainer. I sympathize with your reaction to being labeled "poor" in cardiovascular fitness; I hate being below average in anything. LOL remembering the ditty from childhood, "when she was good, she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid."

Just WOW for the mother of all personal posts; you win the prize for that one. It's like the month of December in review, LOL. Thanks for the tip to get my DW a step stool for a taller tree; will remember that next year. My Excel spreadsheet is just the last checklist from Beck's book; since it sufficiently covers the full 42 days, I just used it the whole time. I drink a scoop of protein powder with skim milk "shake" before gym three times a week. My goal is to help build muscles and to decrease muscle fatigue. I have no way to measure if it does either, but I can justify that the extra 20 grams of protein are a good backup as I add more vegetarian meals to my week. Perhaps the real benefit for me is that I like the shake and once consumed feel compelled to go to the gym whether I'm in the mood or not. It's also a guy thing. All the ad's show guys with ripped abs; I can dream, LOL.


Shepherdess - Yay for a fun but healthy reunion dinner following a hard run in the wind. Congrats to your fickle scale for finally admitting that you're on plan. I also believe that making my own salad dressing saves money, but in this case, I had dipped into my pricier balsamic vinegar that is, alone, more expensive than the store bought dressing. Best I can tell, there is no upper limit to what one could pay for balsamic vinegar but I leave that top shelf stuff for the true food aficionados.

Readers -

day 13
Overcome Cravings

To get to this point, however, you must first learn how to respond to your cravings. This is actually simpler than most people realize. Cravings start to diminish the moment you decide you're absolutely not going to stray from your diet. They increase when you're indecisive about whether or not to eat.

The Beck Diet Solution, pg 127.

[Shepherdess]

I spent yesterday making pumpkin pie for a pie auction. My husband was supposed to make the pies, but since he had been gone and yesterday was his day to catch up, he didn’t have time. But I don’t mind because it satisfied my love of holiday cooking and the good news is that I got it out of the house. I did make two “individual” pies for dh and baked the rest of the pie filling without crust and will work it into my plan for the next few days.

I kept thinking about BillBE’s designation of pie crust as “pure evil” while I was making it. I certainly felt a bit dirty bringing Crisco into my kitchen and I kept thinking about the ethics of making food for other people that I can’t justify working into my plan right now. Unfortunately, there is just no way to make a perfect pie crust without Crisco. I was reading recently that lard and other animal fats are making a comeback because they are similar to Crisco in their baking properties, but they don’t have the partially hydrogenated fats. Of course they are using trendier, better sounding names than “lard.”

The pies took too long to make and I wasn’t able to get my run in before the Christmas Party, but I did do yoga instead when I got home. This may have been the better trade-off since my shoulders and back have been very tight, and were feeling great when I went to bed last night.

FutureFitChick, congrats on getting started with your trainer! It’s a big step in the right direction and will get you off on the right foot (am I mixing enough metaphors). The good news is that fitness increases surprising quickly when you begin a program. Good luck on the hunger experiment—I found it so very helpful. As far as good days and bad, my only advice is to give yourself a huge pat on the back for the good days and try to learn from the bad and move on. Regarding the jump rope, I jump on my living room floor (so I can watch part of a movie while I jump). It’s linoleum and put down throw rug for extra cushion.

Nuxmaga, you do deserve credit for you steps, even if the number is lower than what you are used to. You’re still recovering and need rest as well as movement. Kudos on a another successful chip encounter and for taking the time to make a healthy dinner.

Bennyhannamamma, yay for practicing all of your skills and hope that you are able to get the rest you need. Wishing you a long night’s sleep.

BillBE, once again, I am totally impressed by how well your healthy habits are taking hold. I am eager to get to the point where that pre-dinner bread doesn’t even come to mind, but for right now, I’ll be happy just to be able to resist that urge to butter one up. I will join your waitress in a “Good for you” for the portabella mushroom stack.

[FutureFitChick]

Coaches/Buddies, alright, alright! I forgot to do the hunger exercise today! Augh. I can’t believe it. I guess I need to put some sticky notes on the refrigerator to remind myself in the morning. I just get on auto-pilot with getting through the day and put it out of my mind. No doubt, I need to be thinking “Beck” throughout my day and not just when I read my cards or check in here. I think I’d better start with some quiet time first though. That’ll be next thing tonight, meditation for ½ hour. Question for you: do you rate your hunger all day every day like BeachPatrol does?

Today’s Essentials:
Weigh-in: + 0.5 lbs.
Read Advantage Cards two times: yes
Read Response Cards at least two times: yes
Ate slowly, sitting down, noticing every bite: no, I worked through lunch and afternoon snack
Gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful eating behaviors: no, didn’t feel like I had too many helpful behaviors tonight.
Did spontaneous exercise: no, stuck at work all day & now I’m exhausted
Did planned exercise: none scheduled for today
Rated my hunger: no
Wrote out food plan for tomorrow: will think about this tonight after dinner
Tracked today’s food: yes

BennyHannahMama, bummer on getting to bed too late last night. Hopefully you have more time this weekend.

BillBlueEyes, excellent job with the roll resistance. Great job on your walks too. I like your strategy of using the shake to motivate you to the gym. I’m not sure I like the gym that much to follow through on that myself, but interesting, nonetheless.

Nuxmaga, whew! You’re on FIRE yesterday! You go hot stuff. Are you happier with your steps today?

Shepherdess, food ethics, now there’s a topic to ponder… My husband recently told me about a Chicago hot dog stand (gourmet) that cooks their French fries in goose liver. Trendy is right! Your yoga exchange sounds like it worked out well for you. I never thought about being able to jump rope on carpet. That sounds so much gentler than I was imagining.

[gardenerjoy]

I'm back. The various memorial services and immediate after death projects are handled. My brother seems to be doing well. I think going back to work this week was probably good for him.

Of course, I learned things from taking something of a break from my journey. On the small scale, flour tortillas are remarkably triggering for me. Having a quesadilla appetizer instead of dinner at a restaurant sounds like a good idea, but, for me, it means craving Taco Bell for three days after and generally overeating trying to avoid that fate.

In the bigger picture, I realized that there's been something different about the Beck journey all along that I hadn't noticed. Every previous time that I have gone through a period of eating well, I couldn't imagine why I would ever go back to eating badly. Conversely, when I'm eating badly, I've always felt that I had no earthly idea how to get back to eating well.

With Beck, that didn't happen. The Response cards kept it in my mind that things could go wrong, even when they weren't. All of this means, that even when I wasn't doing my Beck stuff the last couple of weeks, I knew exactly how I was going to get back to it and was completely confident that I would. A wonderful gift.

Step one: post here! Thanks you all for your supportive words and just for being here for me to come back to.

WI: +0.3kg , Exercise: +60, 575/1300 minutes for December, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Nuxmaga: great to see you posting regularly and recovering well from your surgery

FutureFitchick: good to see that you got to posting after a long break -- that gives hope for me! I'm resisting rating my hunger because I firmly believe that I'm incapable of discerning my hunger level. I suspect that, like many things, this is something I will choose to get over eventually. But, for now, planning my food and following the plan is getting the results I want, so I'll consider hunger monitoring an advanced technique to try when things aren't going as well. Or, maybe when they are going really well and I'm looking for a new skill to add to my repertoire.

BillBlueEyes: thanks for the story about not even thinking about the rolls. Big credit for you and a beautiful shining beacon of what it can be like for the rest of us.

Shepherdess: good job on the pies, saving just a bit to eat on plan. I followed your lead and did yoga tonight since I didn't manage exercise earlier in the day. I noticed that I'm holding tension between my shoulder blades -- much better now!

bennyhannahmama: congratulations on your divorce -- it's a significant achievement under difficult circumstances. You are doing great!

[Nuxmaga]

Hello All,
Tracked food, credit. Measured out my potato chips, and although 2 servings hopped into the baggie, I am still amazed they have lasted this long. My dh opened the cupboard tonight and said, "there is a bag of chips in here that appears to be open," and was pleased when I said that I've had it for several days now. 7800+ steps, yay! I hovered around the vending machines at work this afternoon, but didn't buy anything, credit. Dinner leaned toward carby comfort food--that's what happens when it's 20 degrees out, and a couple feet of snow are forecast. . .Tomorrow is the holiday party. Still no plan. Lots of veggies is a good goal. No potato chips would be another one. I can hear my inner spontaneous eater throwing a fit!

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Finally, finally, FINALLY figured out why my wireless router wouldn't do its wifi part. I've had a cable dangling through the house to the second floor office since it's stopped. Rather proud that I figured out to replace its power supply a week ago and remembered how to log in and restore its settings to the right values. Well, almost right. I got done in by a "may I" box to check. It showed that it knew that I wanted encryption, and displayed the proper key, but I had overlooked a box that said Enabled/Disabled. Ouch. Took forever to figure that one out but I had planned to buy a new one today instead of a loooong list of pre-Christmas stuff. CREDIT moi for persistence and for not stuffing myself while wrestling with the frustration.

Felt the cold when walking home from the gym (CREDIT moi). Feeling a little dread for the predicted snow here on the East Coast. I've still got shopping to do.


Margaret (Nuxmaga) - LOL at "my inner spontaneous eater throwing a fit!" - a little temper tantrum like a two year old. I continue to admire your mindful selection of a baggie of chips - even if a two-fer. And Kudos for walking away from those vending machines.

FutureFitChick - Ouch for "stuck at work all day & now I’m exhausted." But LOL that you were too busy to not-eat since my DW frequently does the opposite - which just drives me crazy since I don't think I've ever been too busy to skip a meal. I no longer do the hunger rating since I did the exercise and discovered, like Beach Patrol, that it never got as high as the belief that I was carrying.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Continuing to send supportive thoughts as you and your brother plow through the many projects required. Glad you made it back. Interesting that you used you time away to realize how confident you are on your Beck journey. So well stated, "A wonderful gift."

Shepherdess - Yay for yoga relieving tight muscles like a masseuse. Wish that I would do a little yoga to get rid of my "tight." Years ago when I did yoga classes with DW, I was inordinately proud that I could do the head stand - particularly since I was only mediocre in all the rest. Interesting thoughts about Crisco. I asked DW and she insists that Crisco no longer has trans-fat. You're a nice DW for making your DH his own "individual pies" and a good Beckie for making your own crust-less version so you don't dip into his. And thanks for joining the waitress with a pat on my head, LOL. I keep wondering how confused vegetarians might feel when she says "Good for you" to them.

Readers -

day 13
Overcome Cravings

The emotionally painful part about a
craving is the struggle you feel. Once you can
say to yourself with total conviction, NO CHOICE,
the craving will diminish.

The Beck Diet Solution, pg 130.

[Shepherdess]

The last few days have been a marathon of Christmas shopping. I hate shopping and so in the few months before Christmas I keep an eye out in magazines and any stores I might pass for gift ideas. I get a pretty good idea of what I am getting everyone and then do it all in one fell swoop. It’s like ripping a bandaid off. I’m a bit resentful because I’m doing all of DH’s shopping as well because he just hasn’t had time. Last night he thanked me for taking care of it and said, “But at least it seems like you’re having fun with it.” I set him straight.

I have had my head in the sand about the upcoming Christmas chaos, but it is here and I have to deal with it. We are having an early Christmas tonight with dh’s dad and step-mom. I have cooking to do today for that. And dh’s mom comes in tomorrow and she’ll be staying with us for a few days. Then we are heading up to Jackson with my dh’s mom, sister and her family, and brother and his family. So I’m trying to get ready for all of that. I did manage to get a weight workout in and stuck to my eating plan, with my crustless pumpkin pie for dessert. I thought it would be disappointing without the crust, but it’s still awesome! I’m giving myself a pat on the back for being a good cook.

FutureFitChick, the hunger experiment is difficult and definitely took a bit of planning for me. I had to seriously think about the kind of day it was going to be because I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed. Good for you for meditating—that’s one more thing that would be good for me to do, but somehow gets lost in the shuffle. Do you have a regular meditation practice?

Gardenerjoy, glad to have you back and it seems that you are in a good place of calm. It sounds like you may have taken a break from meal plans, but it doesn’t sound like you took a break from Beck. You remained mindful and learned something from the experience—that is very Beck! Kudos on knowing exactly how you were going to get back to a plan when your life allowed.

Nuxmaga, wow, lots of steps today. I hope that means you’re feeling better. Good job on continuing to measure out those portions of chips! A couple of feet of snow—jeeze! That is some pretty serious weather. No wonder you were turning to comfort. Good luck controlling that spontaneous eater.

BillBE, yay for figuring out your wireless router. Kudos for your persistence and I’m totally impressed by your ability to navigate the tech world (I’m not tech-savvy at all!). Extra kudos for not turning to food in frustration. Thanks for the update that Crisco no longer has trans-fat—a little guilt relieved. And you have every reason to be proud of being able to do a yoga headstand. For most of us, that’s a tough move!

[midlifecrisis57]

(I acknowledge someone else started addressing us as BECKStars, instead of BECKsters. I like that!)
I have been getting so much strength from all your posts, especially Gardenjoy, BillBE and BennieHH. I love Day 6, get-a-coach, and that you have blazed the way for using the forum for us later-joiners. This is a great way to stay in touch and be inspired!
I had actually avoided for a few days out of guilt. I apologize for posting a reply that might be construed as doing someone else's inventory about reviewing BECK's two weeks Prep day-by-day steps. I haven't even finished Day 12 yet and already I'm the taking inventories. I'm surprised I didn't get chastise for that! Thanks for your tolerance and support instead. I'm not used to positive conditioning, I was raised and am still being raised by negative!
I have also been in cognitive therapy for 3 months and reading Melody Beattie's latest book and spent the whole session yesterday being encouraged to sit with and bawl over some grief and loss in my life, triggered by having just moved to the Midwest after 22 years in New England. I was never encouraged to grief before! More like "get over it!" I guess I'm drawing parallels with loss triggered by dieting--not only weight, but ways of coping, using food to self-comfort. How do we grief these losses? Is there a process? Is anger involved? ouch!
I think I want to do the Beck program to live more abundantly, and emotionally-in-tune, instead of numbing out of every situation I find unpleasant, and that is being tested as I live in tight quarters right now with parents in law in their 80s. Until yesterday, the whole living situation was making me sort of sick to my stomach and not hungry. But now that I'm expressing some pent up sadness over loss, I'm getting my appetite back!
So, now the program is going to be more difficult, cuz I'm going to be dealing with desire and craving, it is already starting to happen. Anyone had similar experiences with feelings about loss during dieting?
I pray for us all during these holidays. Hang in there and you know that have my strength to add to yours to help you avert your eyes from all the eye candy around you, and the heightened desire to "use" for comfort in this season. I'm personally looking forward to Dec 27, and may make this my new, personal savior nativity holiday...a day to celebrate getting through Christmas the Beck way, not my old way of sedating by stuffing--a box on a calendar to avert my eyes to as I pass by the dishes of candy and gift baskets currently set out all over the in law's house! Cheers, to the 27th! And courage to us all!

[gardenerjoy]

I received a gift of tea from a friend this morning. Isn't that lovely? So much kinder than cookies and she didn't even know that I'm watching what I eat.

If I'm going to meet my exercise goal for the month, I'll need to average 60 minutes a day for the rest of the month. That's doable, especially since I count my yoga and strength training in that total.

I don't know if anyone else is approaching this situation, but I just learned that menopausal women who do aerobic exercise for 3.5 hours a week (30 minutes a day) have 75% fewer hot flashes. Yet another good reason to keep my exercise minutes going.

WI: -0.3kg , Exercise: +75, 650/1300 minutes for December, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Nuxmaga: I hope you managed lots of veggies at the holiday party. I've found that a helpful strategy at those sorts of events.

BillBlueEyes: congrats on the fully functioning router and on not eating your way to the solution.

Shepherdess: Yay for awesome crustless pumpkin pie! Good luck with all your Christmas chaos.

midlifecrisis57: Welcome! (I think I missed saying that earlier). I've definitely found grief issues coming up during the Beck journey. A recent one we've discussed here is that some food experiences are about quantity not quality and those experiences just don't work that well for me any more. There's a lot of good in that, but a loss, too. As each issue comes up, I acknowledge it here -- I find a lot of healing that comes from the chorus of "me toos" that generally follows such a confession.

[FutureFitChick]

Coaches/Buddies, arrrrg! I didn’t do my hunger exercise today. Tomorrow isn’t a good day for it either, nor is Monday. So, I put it on the calendar as a “Really Important!!!” item that turns my whole calendar day red. So, I don’t think I’ll miss it this time. I’m really terrible at skipping meals, so I was proud of myself today when I made a good “brunch” destination suggestion where I wouldn’t feel like I was just eating some sort of sweet baked item because it was the only “small” breakfast on the menu (because lunch would be coming soon). Once there, I opted out of the menu item with bacon (which sounded really great to me this morning), and passed on a smoothie opting for coffee instead. Sadly, I noticed I was getting full and opted to eat the last few bites anyway. Oh, well. I guess I can only learn so much in a single meal… But, then, I turned down a soft pretzel while we were shopping today (and took no “free” samples throughout the store). When we came home, my husband and I decided to have a snack since it was too early for dinner, which ended up being filling enough that we decided to skip dinner. So, still some positives even though I didn’t do the planned hunger exercise today. One of the snacks I made was prosciutto wrapped mozzaella, which I thought was going to be this gourmet delight. I found the meat too salty and the cheese flavorless, so it became part of my geriatric dog’s dinner to encourage him to eat.

I’m pretty nervous about my holiday traveling. We’ll be at my husbands grandfather’s house with a billion relatives I don’t know that well. Due to the accommodations, there is very little privacy, which is difficult on many levels. I’m pretty introverted and often need to retreat to get my head to stop pounding when I’m around a lot of people. I also feel like I’m going to have very little to no control over my food, which makes me nervous, anxious, and frankly mad. We’ll see. A part of me is praying for a terrible snow storm very early Thursday morning. Selfish, I know. (Wow, I guess I needed to get that out!) Double ugh! I just realized I won't have internet access at all either. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Today’s Essentials:
Weigh-in: -1.5 lbs.
Read Advantage Cards two times: no, will read once tonight
Read Response Cards at least two times: no, will read once tonight
Ate slowly, sitting down, noticing every bite: yes
Gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful eating behaviors:
Did spontaneous exercise: yes, which included about 3,000 unplanned steps while helping my husband Christmas shop
Did planned exercise: no
Wrote out food plan for tomorrow: not yet; this will be important because I have a birthday party for my godson tomorrow
Tracked today’s food: yes

BillBlueEyes, I think I’m in love with wherever you live. Everything sounds walkable! Someday, when I finish this degree I thought would be such a great idea to go back to graduate school to get, we will live in a walkable city – not a subdivision. Uck. I hear you on the wireless router bit. I tend to be a little relentless when my technology isn’t working. I feel like my knowledge is just enough to keep me out of trouble, but I can be a little obsessive about it.

GardenerJoy, I was so excited to read your post tonight. What a marvelous observation you’ve made in the midst of lots of the rest of life happening. I think you are right with regards to the Beck program. I seem to perceive this experiences as a “journey” (which many of you have termed it) much more than an “I’m on or I’m off this thing.” If I don’t get through the book as fast as others, I’m OK with that because I’m trying to improve a little bit each day to make it stick. I haven’t been deluding myself that I won’t be confronting these same feelings the rest of my life. I think that is due to the book itself and from the experience conveyed by writer’s here at 3FC. I’m very grateful. I don’t know how much longer I would have been able to keep “trying” to stay on a “diet” type program when I kept falling down when life got in the way. It takes a lot more energy to pick yourself up from the ground when you fall off than to take a few steps back onto the path I want to be on.

Midlifecrisis57, oh, honey. Moving to the MidWest after New England must stink! I’ve been in the MidWest all of my life and agonize for the day we get out of here. I can imagine it would be especially rough living with in-laws. Take it easy! You sound like you’ve got a lot going on. One foot in front of the other… You can do this!

Nuxmaga, you’ve got some power, Lady! Hovering and not buying and taking charge of the open bag of chips. As my boss likes to say, “You nailed that dive!”

Shepherdess, I hear you on the husbands and Christmas shopping ordeal. Just because I feel the need to keep groceries in the house, kibble available to feed the dogs, and my husband having underwear that has the prescribed number of holes in it does not mean that I enjoy shopping in any shape or form.
I have a sort of regular meditation practice. I have a few different meditation MP3s that I listen to, which when I do regularly and manage to stay awake for the entire time are very helpful. It is difficult finding the time, like everything else.
Good luck with your holiday traveling. You sound very immersed with your husband’s family. That sounds great, but I’m sure can be hard too. Do you have family on your side that you get to see?
Lastly, thanks for the advice about the hunger experiment. I will reevaluate to see how crazy things are on Monday to see if Tuesday will really be as “safe” as possible for it. Thanks and happy cooking and traveling.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Ran around and got lots of stuff done. The parking lot for the supermarket was, itself, a traffic jam although I stumbled into a spot immediately which made my day. I over-sampled the FREE stuff at Whole Foods - the gourmet bitter chocolate did fit into my unusual exception but my mind just switched into FREE food mode and I then had the cheeses and biscotti bites that didn't. Followed that at Trader Joe's by gulping ham and pineapple which I would have justified since tasting their spiral ham was on my list, but I didn't even think about it to justify it; I just grabbed. Still working on my FREE food issue. At least I could laugh at their jammed parking lots since I walked (CREDIT moi).

Carried the Christmas tree to the basement so it wouldn't get covered with snow; CREDIT moi for spontaneous exercise. We'll probably set it up today. I'll have to trudge through the snow with it since the only way it'll get out of the basement is through the bulkhead door.


FutureFitChick - It took me several weeks to get to the hunger experiment. I kept looking for the perfect day. Was almost a letdown when it passed so easily. Kudos for extracting a mindful eating day out of spontaneous happenings. That's the kind of skill that should increase confidence that your changes in eating are now just what you do. Smart to prepare yourself for the challenging situation crammed with relatives. Maybe you could lead a communal stretching workout to help everybody ease the tensions. Good luck.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for a gift of tea. Just neat that it doesn't thrust unneeded calories while still offering the opportunity to try something different. Kudos for being on track with your exercise goal for the month.

Shepherdess - LOL that your "one fell swoop"Christmas shopping is "like ripping a bandaid off." Yay that your crust-less pumpkin pie was awesome. Sounds like you do face a chaotic cluster of challenging events. Wishing you well, but with your Beck skills working so well I suspect that you'll come out just fine.

midlifecrisis57 - Such an interesting observation that changing our way of eating is a loss, and losses need to be grieved. I don't know of a process different than the five stages of grief and loss of the Kübler-Ross model, of which anger is certainly one. For me it included dealing with the feelings that the eating seemed to smother - just normal feelings of the ebb and flow of the day and the give and take of family interactions. The good news was that I didn't need the feeling smothered; I could just, well ... feel them. Beck could add, Feelings are nor an emergency to her stable.

Readers -

day 13
Overcome Cravings

Anti-Craving Strategies - Mindset Techniques
You can take a number of steps to respond to your next craving. The first five steps help you prepare your mindset, and you should use the following every time you have a craving:

1. Label it. - Tell yourself, This feeling is just a craving ... It's uncomfortable and intense, but, (like hunger) it's not an emergency.
. . .

The Beck Diet Solution, pg 130.

[Shepherdess]

My MIL is arriving today and my house is a disaster. It looks like we had a food fight in our kitchen and Santa’s workshop exploded in my living room. Oh well, yesterday I decided to go for a long run instead of clean my house and I don’t regret it. It felt really good to go long, since I haven’t for a few weeks now. Good thing my MIL is very understanding. She lived in this same house when she was first married and just enjoys being out here. It reminds her of the happy years of her marriage.

We had an early Christmas last night with dh’s dad and step-mom and her family. I get very scroogey around Christmas. The materialism usually really gets to me and I am uncomfortable with receiving gifts because I can’t reciprocate as generously as I would like. My MIL (dh’s step mom) lives for Christmas and gives hugely lavish gifts and so I usually dread Christmas with them. But I had a great time last night. It was fun to watch my MIL. She loves watching other people open gifts and she loves opening gifts, even the simple gifts she receives. She just loves that someone thought of her. So I guess that’s a good reminder that “It’s not about me.” I watched my SIL graciously accept Pepto-Bismol pink princess stuff for her girls, and I know she wants to strongly discourage the princess thing in her house. So she’s a good role model for me. So I’m going to remember this Christmas season to appreciate the intention behind every gift—it’s someone’s way of showing me they love me and trust that whatever gifts I give will be received in the same way.

Midlifecrisis57, I love the idea of a post-Christmas celebration as a way of celebrating success through the Christmas season. Huge congrats on allowing yourself to feel grief and loss, although I’m sorry that you are feeling it. I totally agree that dieting will get harder because of it. My only suggestion is to try taking a moment before each meal or snack to get in touch with your feelings and deal with any negative emotions you may have. That may be a way to break the idea that food is a way to deal with negative emotions. Hope that helps.

Gardenerjoy, tea is a lovely gift! I’ll have to remember that one. It tells the receiver to take some time to indulge themselves, but in a calorie-free way. Good luck for an hour a day of exercise for the rest of December. I hope that the exercise time will be a good break from any holiday stress you have. But if you don’t reach your goal, I think it’s OK to give yourself a bit of break. You exercised regularly during a very difficult time and that deserves a lot of credit!

FutureFitChick, wow, lots of successes in one day. Great job turning down bacon, a soft pretzel and free samples. Good job getting rid of a snack that you found unappealing. I can sympathize with your anxiety over the holidays. I need a lot of space as well. I’m planning on taking long, solitary walks when I need to get away. Thanks for your concern about being immersed in dh’s family. It can be a bit overwhelming because we now live in the same town as his dad and brother and the family’s ranch just makes a convenient gathering place for his family. My family is all out in California, and I won’t be seeing them this holiday. But we did spend quite a bit of time with them this summer. It’s all a balancing act. We’re trying to make strong boundaries with his family and trying to find a way to stay close to mine. It’s all a learning experience.

I spaced on answering your question about wool socks the other day. I think wool is a very good fabric for athletic socks. Wool stays very dry, is breathable and is very warm. Some of my favorite running socks are wool and I wear them in both summer and winter. They keep my feet dry and prevent blisters. There are a lot of great synthetic fabrics out there as well, so wear what is comfortable for you.

BillBE, I was thinking of you on the east coast when I saw all the stories on weather.com, but if you’re getting your walk to Trader Joe’s in, it must be manageable. ‘Tis the season for FREE samples. One of the things that always gets me about the holidays is that every store arranged in such a way to encourage spontaneous, mindless purchases. The grocery store is no exception, but unfortunately, their traps cost calories as well as money. Good luck on finding a strategy that works, and if you find one, be sure and let me know. My strategy today is to send dh to the store. Thank you for the quote. It seems perfectly appropriate for this season in particular!

[CeeJay]

Hello Everyone:

bennyhannahmama- glad things worked out for you and hope that relief is what you continue to feel. Takes alot to continue to try to follow a plan under all the stress, you are doing great.

Nuxmaga- credit for walking and tracking food. You are doing really well on resisting those chips. Your daily posts are very motivational for me.

BillBlueEyes- credit +++ for eating on plan at the office party. Wish I could say the same, but am still trying. Good job also on resisting the rolls. Not even thinking about eating them is quite an achievement. LOL re the free food extravaganza yesterday. It's a tough one.

Shepherdess- kuddos for the exercise and the eating on track. I liked your comments re the scale reading. It has been so helpful to me to remind myself that the fluctuations are basically meaningless and that it is only the overall trend that is important. Past diets if the scale went up a pound I would be so discouraged.

FutureFitChick- yay about the personal trainer. That is such a huge step. I am waiting to do the don't eat exercise, cause I am just too afraid it is going to lead to binge-like behaviour later in the day. I am impressed that you are going to trying it. Have not been rating hunger, tried that yesterday and forgot about 3 hours into the day. Going to try again tomorrow. Nice going at brunch. Good luck with getting a snowstorm- I understand why you would just rather take a pass.

gardenerjoy- welcome back and kuddos for step one, posting. I love your comments about with Beck, going back is not a big problem. I have been experiencing this alot lately. Glad to hear your brother is doing well.

midlifecrisis57-I was interested in reading your comments about cognitive therapy. Beck's approach fits right in. I am so happy to be changing my eating in a positive mode, as opposed to the "beat myself up" approach that has been failing me forever. I can relate 100% to the loss feelings while dieting. I have no answer for that- it is something I work on every day. I am trying to replace the comfort that food provides with healthier things. Wishing courage for you also.

For me, Wed-Sat, well lets just say lots of ups and downs. I am 100% on track with exercising. I was about 60% with planning and about 40% with eating. So as always, I am just moving ahead. I know what I need to do.

Here is how I am feeling and I feel kind of bad about this but Christmas is just bad timing for me right now. Frankly, I will be very glad when it is over. I just don't need to be dealing with this ever-present minefield of food. And I know it is all up to me and I need to just resist but it is proving pretty hard. Not meaning to whine, just trying to figure out how to put the brakes on.

I have a plan for today and tomorrow and so far so good. So credit for that. Credit for riding exercise bike 30 minutes this morning. Credit for a healthy breakfast.

Take care _

[FutureFitChick]

Coaches/Buddies, just time for a quick check-in. Went to my godson’s 4th birthday party today. I let myself enjoy a little bit of everything and combined lunch and dinner, so I feel like it went pretty well. I’ll be interested in what the scale tells me tomorrow about this perception. I’ve so much going on with school right now, as I let myself get way behind. Add to that getting ready for Christmas. Augh!

Today’s Essentials:
Weigh-in: didn’t weight
Read Advantage Cards two times: no
Read Response Cards at least two times: no
Ate slowly, sitting down, noticing every bite: yes
Gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful eating behaviors: not so much
Did spontaneous exercise: yes – chasing a houseful of 4 year old boys!
Did planned exercise: no
Wrote out food plan for tomorrow: no, and unfortunately don’t have time to tonight.
Tracked today’s food: yes

BillBlueEyes, you’re free food issue is interesting to me (not that it’s helpful to you at all). We are lucky to have a Whole Foods or a TJ’s where I’m at now. So, I don’t have that aspect to deal with. But, I always feel like there such a crowd around the sample area that I’m too self-conscious to eat the free samples – like I think they’re going to yell “Look at the fattie. Of course, SHE’D take the free samples…” I wonder if this will change for me in a few years or maybe it’s just a female thing. On weekdays, I think I’m lucky because I don’t think our stores put out the massive free food frenzie like yours do.
Found your response to midlifecrisis57 interesting (great comments yesterday by the way midlife). I never really thought that I might be using food to “quiet myself down” and keep my emotions on a more even keel. I was aware of the numbing effect for strong emotions like occasional deep sadness, anger, stress/anxiety. But never really thought that I might be sort of benefitting from the sedation effect allowing me to stay hidden in the crowd to avoid being noticed. I’ll have to give that some awareness in the midst of the difficult family holiday. There may be some fear about possibly exploding (think reality, not emotionally) from feeling all of the push and pull. We’ll see. I’m thinking of starting a countdown until January 2nd…

CeeJay, I agree about the potential for overeat after or preeating (“Last Suppering”) with the hunger exercise. I hadn’t confronted that thought until you mentioned it, so thanks for pointing that out.

Shepherdess, I’m so glad your sticking to your exercise. I can tell by your comments that it provides you a tremendous lift. Good luck with your holidays. It is tough finding a balance between all of the family.

[Nuxmaga]

Hi All,
Well, we got a foot of snow! A round of sabotaging thinking led to choc chip pancakes 2 mornings in a row--a way to survive the blizzard I guess. . .but I did leave some on my plate today, credit. 6000 steps, credit. My holiday party was cancelled yesterday due to the snow, and ironically I probably ate even more because I really wasn't planning to be left to my own devices.
I did make Nanaimo bars today, my one baking tradition that I still do, and an item I still miss from Canada. I nibbled much less on the "broken pieces" than I usually do, so that is definitely a credit.

FutureFitChick--you are doing great with incorporating Beck into your life, and I agree that there is only so much you can learn in a single meal!

CeeJay--Yay for continuing forward with the positive approach, rather than the "beat yourself up" approach, of which I am much too familiar

Shepherdess--Kudos for taking a run instead of cleaning house! And yay for sending dh to the store to take that impulse eating hit for you.

Bill--Whole Foods is a gauntlet of free samples, and you are very brave to work on becoming aware. Credit for learning to let feelings be there--I am still kind of freaked out by feelings in general, but have improved with just letting them be there. It's quite a revelation that they ebb and flow.

gardenerjoy--Credit for planning to stay on track with your exercise. Enjoy your tea!

midlifecrisis--Credit for sitting with the grief. Ironically, when I try to "get over" something rather than let myself grieve, the feelings get stuck. It's counterintuitive to my upbringing of "don't feel anything" but I am slowly learning. December 26th is my personal holiday--a friend and I started going out to lunch the day after Christmas about 5 years ago, as a time to truly celebrate and be ourselves. Enjoy the 27th!