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Beck Diet For Life/Solution November 2009 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

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Old 11-06-2009, 09:21 PM   #61
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Hello everyone,

Week 3 is done!!!!

ChinaMaine- Glad to hear you are sleeping better- what a difference that can make. Sounds like you did well yesterday in all ways.

gardenerjoy- how did your hair consult go? Are you going for the new look? That can put such a positive spin on things. Good for you for the doing your exercise and eating on program. It was good to read about your 12 weeks into a program and look at how much you have lost!

BillBlueEyes- LOL about the halloween candy. Maybe you should just ditch it when no one is looking.

FutureFitChick- you are doing lots of soul searching and it is going to pay off for you. I love your advantage that you want to lose weight as a primary example of self-care and unconditional love for myself. That is fantastic and it says everything in one sentence.

disneynerd- welcome here. I am really new to this forum too and just like you trying to escape a vicious cycle. I have lost and regained 10-20 pounds so often I could not count them. Seems to me that just posting here is a big step in the right direction.

maryblu- your post was great. I agree with all your comments about the Beck book. She talked about everything I have been struggling with and it was such a relief to see it all laid out like that.

RobinW- hope you are back on track and going to have a great weekend.


Thanks you all for the encouragement. It means so much. FutureFitChick said that it might be good to just think in terms of a few days. Thanks for that. I need to remember to take it day by day. Not get too ahead of myself.

Crediting me for eating OP today, walking once, turning down an invitation to lunch and eating my healthy stuff instead, and posting here.

This weekend I really am going to be busy but am promising myself that I am going to read the Response Cards and start to make my Advantages cards.

Have a good night everyone.

You all rock.
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Old 11-06-2009, 09:21 PM   #62
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Hi All,
This craft show anxiety is tough! I just ate some of the chocolate cookies from the freezer(from the grateful but misguided client)--I need to reconsider the idea of freezing treats at this time of the year when the stress is high. Sigh.
I also foraged for treats on the way to, and on the way home from work, eating them standing up. Double sigh.

I did go to Zumba today, credit. I tracked my food, credit, and though I went over my goal, it was less than yesterday, and I want to keep the trend going down.

maryblu--I will second Beck's uncanny ability to predict what sabotaging thoughts we may have as we move through the book, and change our habits.

disneynerd--welcome! I've been doing this since June, and it's the first time my weight has trended downward in a long time.

futurefitchick--Kudos for your decision to develop a healthy routine and stick to it for a year before considering adding more responsibility--that's a great way to take care of yourself! And thank you for your encouragement about turning the car around on the way to the bakery--that may be a first for me, and I was quite amazed with myself too.

Bill--Congrats on passing up the Halloween candy repeatedly! The first thing in my life I ever tried "no choice" with was flossing my teeth, and though a challenge, I have been rewarded with very quick cleanings and hygenist approval.

gardenerjoy--yay for planning to update your look! I went to a curly hair specialist in July, for the first time, after going 2 years without a haircut because of frustration with what regular hairdressers have done with my curls. If I remember correctly, you're a librarian as well? If so, the Beck group gets two curly headed librarians. . .

ChinaMaine--Yay for more sleep! And walking Moose for a mile. I always get an image of him "walking you" since his name implies quite a beast.

CeeJay--Credit for resisting carrot cake! And for doing Beck for 3 weeks! If you start to melt down, please post to the group--that's exactly what Beck is about--having support to challenge the sabotaging thoughts.

BeachPatrol--Way to work that Beck in dealing with maintaining rather than losing any weight! I keep reminding myself that any thoughts of "this won't work," or "somehow I am cursed" are just thoughts, and usually are saboteurs to any possibility of weight loss.

RobinW--Credit for facing workshops, and working through the anxiety. I've been there, and it takes a lot of courage. And yay for getting Beck out again. I need to do that too.
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Old 11-06-2009, 10:03 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by maryblu View Post
Welcome. You will get a much better welcome from our Cyber Shepperd, BillBlueEyes, but for now, welcome from me.

What strikes me is our similar stats..I am 5' 7 and 1/2..and was always ~220#s ..I conquered my weight issue a bit later in life than you are now tackling yours.... but I have maintained an 80# loss... and now 90#s for ~ 7 plus years..I never really tracked..I never had a "this- is- it--this -is- the- day -I -change- my -life -day"..so I am really not too certain of dates/times. The point is, you *can change your life, you *can do it, and we here on the Beck thread are ALL ....to a woman..and one, very important man...*smile, BillBE, are here to support you. As you will learn from reading, just doing Beck ..is that the diet itself is immaterial..they all work, if you follow them. Beck strategies help you follow them..it is not about *what you eat, it is about *how you choose to behave.......and the great thing is, with Beck, it is all laid out..rote..if this, do that..just do it..behave the way Beck says to behave and you will be successful. It never ceases to amaze me that she sees it all coming..and helps you block off the obstacles..it is truly amazing..I only have the first book..that is all I ever needed...I had lost the wt. pre-Beck, but was back sliding..and once I picked up Beck, I just could not believe that she covered everything..every single thing that can sabotage us..and she wasn't even ever *that fat! But she has treated us, and she gets it.

We are all here, ready to be your diet coaches. If you just dive in and do it, you will be successful. My one word of caution is: avoid that perfectionist mentality trap. If you slip up, get back on track immediately..no big deal..just do it.
Wow! That was deep Maryblu! Thanks for the quick response. I just bought the workbook because B&N didn't have any other Beck books. Thankyou for 'taking me on'
I've been waiting for that ah-ha moment as Oprah says but it never came and I'm tired of waiting. Is it too much too ask that my thighs don't rub together anymore?
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Old 11-06-2009, 10:43 PM   #64
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LOL..disneynerd..your first Advantage Response Card.

No more chaffing thighs!

:-)
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Old 11-06-2009, 11:25 PM   #65
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We chose badly for a lunch restaurant. But, credit, for leaving some of the worst bits on my plate and skipping a snack to make up for some of it.

WI: -0.1kg, Exercise: +30, 247/1300 minutes for November, Food: off, Read my Advantages and Responses: no

BillBlueEyes: I have naturally curly hair -- a decided disadvantage growing up in the 60s and 70s, but much appreciated most years since then

FutureFitChick: great job thinking through things like your reasons for losing weight and exercise and for taking time to plan how to work that into your life.

disneynerd: We'll be your buddies! You will find BillBlueEyes' long experience with Beck and maintenance invaluable on your journey -- and we have lots of other enthusiastic and supportive people here, too. You are in a great starting point for long term, permanent weight loss. I keep reminding myself what they tell smokers -- all those previous times were just practice.

RobinW: glad your session went well!

CeeJay: Yay for getting past the important milestone of week 3! My hair consult is next week -- I'll let you know!

Nuxmaga: that's right, I am a librarian, too! Are you happy with the curly hair specialist?
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Old 11-07-2009, 06:28 AM   #66
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Thumbs up Welcome disneynerd

disneynerd

And, in case you didn't get one of these last month when you first posted,

Yay for learning about the Beck program from a doctor at an Ideal Protein Diet clinic!!!

How did you find this thread on 3 Fat Chicks?

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Old 11-07-2009, 07:20 AM   #67
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Thumbs up Saturday

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Arrrrrgh! Did OK at a family gathering - stayed wihin my calories allocation (CRDIT moi), if I were counting calories and had an allocation. Until that long period of after dinner conversation with a bowl of roasted peanuts sitting on the table. After the third time I found my hand in the bowl, without asking permission of the hostess, I walked the bowl back to their kitchen and sat back down and continued the conversation, like that was the right of any table guest. CREDIT moi for taking care of myself; Might have to work on my Emily Post a bit, LOL.

Little exercise besides a handful of very short walks. I hope my lunges at the gym didn't miss me.


maryblue - Just love the reminders, "no big deal..just do it," and "avoid that perfectionist mentality trap." Yep, it's the perfectionist notion that suggests to me that since I snarfed some peanuts on Monday, then I'm the kind of guy who can eat them on Friday.

Robin (RobinW) - Yay for an awsome class. You're rolling.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Big Kudos for "leaving some of the worst bits on my plate" from the guy whose nurons reuse to desert the starving children in China. Thanks for the clarification about "curly hair specialist." Methinks my real question was whether she'd accept a client who didn't have curly hair - as in, you know, wasn't curly when it was there.

Margaret (Nusmaga) - Ouch for the anxiety; Double Ouch for figuring out the combination to your freezer safe. But Kudos for Zumba and for giving yourself credit for your on-plan stuff. Hope that sales meet your expectations.

FutureFItChick - Neat and succient, "self-care and unconditional love for myself." Kudos for pondering your future and then converting that into actual steps. Have a nice trip.

CeeJay - That's a terrific idea; I'll become the secret candy evaporator, snarfing it up from every break room in my company and stuffing it into my briefcase for disposal. Just gotta avoid the elderly security guard at the front door; imagine facing, "Sir, would you mind opening that briefcase?"

Kudos for completeing week 3. Onward to the first day of week 4.


disneynerd - Re: "Will you be my buddies?" I join the others, Yep and hope you'll accept the role to be my Diet Coach/Buddy also. Kudos that you already start out with the perspective, "not expecting a killer weightloss."

Readers -
Quote:
day 6
Find a Diet Coach

Here's what your diet coach can do:
. . .

Help you take a more useful perspective. Imagine your diet coach looking over your shoulder at times when your resolve is weak. When you consider straying from your food plan, think to yourself, What would my coach say to me now? Doing so can help you better stick to your plan.

The Beck Diet Solution, pg 85.
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Old 11-07-2009, 12:43 PM   #68
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Migraine and sick kid this week. Eating was way off, but did manage to do some running even when I didn't really want to. I also had some victories in the midst of defeat on the food side, so I must remember to give myself credit.

BillBE, I get a new toothbrush every time I get new toothpaste. But I too love the free one from the dentist.

Glad to see new faces here!

Anne
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Old 11-07-2009, 09:49 PM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BillBlueEyes View Post
disneynerd

And, in case you didn't get one of these last month when you first posted,

Yay for learning about the Beck program from a doctor at an Ideal Protein Diet clinic!!!

How did you find this thread on 3 Fat Chicks?

.
BillBlueEyes,
Thanks for the awesome greeting. I laughed out loud and both my husband and dog look at me funny. I was reviewing diets recently and remembered this site primarily due to the name. How can you go wrong with 3fatchicks? awesome. I see its been quite a journey for you. I'm interested in learning more from everyone.
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Old 11-07-2009, 09:56 PM   #70
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Default An unwanted epiphany.

How many times can I say I am back before I actually follow through?? This is time #3. I am embarrassed to say I have had an epiphany about myself that I don't particularly care for... I am lazy. Not in the traditional sense, I don't laze on my couch all day. I have two kids under three so I am up and at 'em most of the time, whether or not I want to be. But I am lazy, however, when it comes to taking care of myself. I realized that part of the reason I am not sticking to any sort of plan is that I enjoy being glutenous and irresponsible. Enjoy may not be the correct term as I don't gleefully stuff my face but you get the idea. It is much EASIER to be lazy than to make a commitment to being responsible. I am beginning to feel, however, that I am not being an active participant in my own life. I was actually trying to come up with reasons I could give for not posting regularly on this thread after I said I was back. I don't consider myself a dishonest person, actually I abhor dishonesty, but I am so embarrassed by my willingness to take the path of least resistance that I had to come up with some kind of REASON that I wouldn't be posting!!

I have been trying to be a little more gentle with myself as, truthfully, I am generally strapped for time, especially for myself. I think, however, I may have taken this a step too far and just started making excuses for my poor behavior..... becoming lazy.

I think that is enough divulging for one post.
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Old 11-07-2009, 09:58 PM   #71
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*A well-stacked wood pile. I got my wood delivered today, and it is very well stacked..by my hand alone (will stop short of saying perfectly..cuz......the wild card is the dawgs..if they want to get at something on top of it..who knows?) It is just weird how much I like stacking wood. It is just rote..just do it..just keep stacking..it will turn out right...hmmm...just rote..just do it...if this, do that..sound familiar?

*seeing a wndranne post..hey, bud, good to see you! I am rewarding myself tonight for great day of stacking wood and getting the yard cleaned up by diving into The Sorceress..had to buy it in hard copy..but couldn't wait. Oh, well.

* November gift day of 57 degrees F. No wind, lake like glass. Amazing how thick my blood has already gotten. Was outside all day with just a sweatshirt vest on..it felt balmy! And no end in sight..projected to be in the 50s for the next week. The downside is that it is deer hunting season, so have to keep a close eye on the dawgs..Buck looks like a deer, runs like a deer, even has the white turned-up tail..so, have to keep 'em close for the next 8 days. Woke up this morning to lots of shooting..am used to that from growing up on the farm, but, still, a November ritual.

*Beck buddies doing well...you go, all!
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Old 11-07-2009, 10:21 PM   #72
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Happy Saturday Night Everyone!
So I'm the new kid on the block here. This hot pink workbook keeps getting my attention. I've been paging through the last couple days and I tell you the thinking is sticking. I keep rereading the first couple chapters to make sure I'm following the correct steps.
Simply not eating when standing is so simple yet I do it all the time. or used too.
Feeling hungry is o.k.? Wow I won't starve after all.
I was at a get together this afternoon and managed to avoid Wise honey barbeque chips, peanut butter cookies, pretzels and Dove chocolates. I was tempted but I guess I wanted to test myself. I passed today.

MaryBlu- I like that idea of 'don't want my thighs to rub together' as a response card. Good idea. Its simple yet powerful.

Nuxmaga- slow and steady is better than fast and furious. Keep up the good work!

GardenerJoy- wow 15lbs is outstanding! try picking up a 15lb turkey at the store this holiday and carry it up an down the aisle. Feel your loss for real!
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Old 11-07-2009, 10:24 PM   #73
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Made my way through a 24-hour funk without overeating, even though I wanted to. Took the Beck advice to engage in distractions -- even computer games are better than overeating from that perspective. Feeling better now and even better that I didn't overeat.

WI: -0.25kg, Exercise: +30, 277/1300 minutes for November, Food: op, Read my Advantages and Responses: no

BillBlueEyes: I'm not quite sure if a curly hair specialists only works on natural curls or also creates curls from straight. Maybe I'll learn that next week.

wndranne: good job creating opportunities for giving yourself credit during a difficult week.

KidsLibrarylady: I hope you can make some time for yourself to figure out how to make time to do what it takes to be "an active participant in your own life" (great phrase). One thing that keeps recurring for me as I take this journey is realizing just how much I enjoyed overeating. Like you said, "enjoy" isn't quite the right word, but it was really serving several purposes and I keep having to work out new ways to deal with things now that overeating isn't a choice that I'm allowing myself.

maryblu: we're having unseasonably warm temperatures, too -- a great time to work outdoors! I think it reached 75 here today!
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Old 11-07-2009, 11:02 PM   #74
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is it just my imagination or am I seeing more discrimination towards overweight ppl?

Its almost as if its now "OK" to make fun of us because it isnt healthy etc etc etc.

I was looking thru some friends facebook photos and seen a couple dressed as a "biggest loser" couple and I was appauled that they thought this was acceptable.

Im feeling more and more pressure to get the weight off ....has anyone else noticed this? Its not something that has happned overnight, but something Ive been noticing and thinking its just "that person". But it almost seems to be all over the place.

Ok....Im off to bed to get rested for a fully 100% op day tomorrow!
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:27 AM   #75
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Thumbs up Sunday

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Thoroughly enjoyed my walk, CREDIT moi, in the morning when there was still frost on the windows of parked cars. Crisp air motivates me big time.

Eating felt more in line than I reported yesterday; CREDIT moi. At lunch, however, with family dynamics on the table along with the food, I chose a half slice of a blueberry crumb cake being touted from a local bakery gaining recognition. Good choice for splitting a slice, but it was just cake, and it was still dessert at lunch for heavens sake. For dinner at a restaurant that featured MASSIVE portions and included french fries with everything I chose well, even got zuccini, broccoli, and salad with NO fries, and, much to my delight, when I asked for oil and vinegar was able to choose balsamic. And for dessert later at a big table with extended family about, I went to the fridge and found myself a pear instead of the selecting several of the uber-rich delectables being snarfed by everyone else.

My current goal in life is to have dessert in the desert without using the dictionary to figure out which gets the double 's'.


maryblue - Happiness is "A well-stacked wood pile" and then savoring it with the reward of reading The Sorceress. Thanks for a lovely demo of "just do it."

Robin (RobinW) - Nope, it's not your imagination, there does seem to be more pointed discrimination about weight on adults. (Thinking that discrimination toward fat kids has always been over the top.) Perhaps it's partially because more people are visible who carry weight or because more rude people are visible, LOL. There was a thread around here recently on that subject and the most compelling response, over and over again, was that no one got shamed into losing weight.

Anne (wndranne) - Double Kudos for giving yourself credit along with your food victories. Double Ouch for tending a migraine along with a sick kid. Thanks for the tip to use a schedule to replace my toothbrush - hadn't thought of that, duh!

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Ouch for the funk, but Kudos for recognizing that "engaging in distractions" is a Helpful Response, and Kudos again for doing it.

KidsLibrarylady - My admiration for working at looking at yourself honestly and for having the courage to post about it; Big Kudos. It helps me to avoid labeling myself, e.g. as lazy me, rather than the actions themselves, e.g. Sabotaging Thought to avoid posting. Whatever works for you, it's neat that you broke the re-entry barrior and can feel free to select small, specific tasks to do each day as you climb yourself fullly onto your plan.

I, too, love your phrase, "not being an active participant in my own life." Yep, I've felt that one big time.


disneynerd - Kudos for testing yourself and passing on all those food porn items. And Kudos for reading and re-reading the first chapers; Dr. Beck has emphasized that those first chapters are the key to making the program work. What got to me was when I read them, and immediately realized that they weren't necessary for me, but must be for people who needed simplistic little things, Beck then wrote that I had probably just had the Sabotaging Thought that I didn't need to do those steps, but, in fact, I did. So I did, and have come to belive that it's been exactly those "simplistic" steps that have made her program work for me.

Readers -
Quote:
day 6
Find a Diet Coach

How to Find a Diet Coach

Decide whom you'd like to be your diet coach and line up that person now. You might not need your coach's help at this point to assist you in implementing the toaks in the program. And you might not need the inspiration your coach can provide during the first few weeks of dieting when your motivation is high. But you will need a diet coach at some point. Lining up your diet coach now is important because I've found that a dieter is much less likely to try to find a coach once he or she has hit a rough patch and is feeling discouraged - which is the time, of course, when the coach is needed most.
...

The Beck Diet Solution, pg 85.
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