Thinking about coming back
I've been poking around the forum this morning for the first time in almost two years.
I joined LAWL back in 2002 and lost over 50 lbs. I only had another 10-15 pounds to lose to reach "goal" but I should have just stayed where I was and went on maintenance. Instead, I got cranky and gave up entirely. I'm good at self-sabotage.
In any case I gained it all back after getting sick and going back to being an emotional eater. I was ready to go back on plan but then my COD (which had become PWL) closed down in Jan. 2008. I couldn't face going back on plan without my favorite Lites, so I gave up again and gained a few more pounds. I'm now 100 lbs. from where I'd like to be (and weigh about 50 lbs. more than when I started with LAWL back in 2002).
Like many of you - I was burned in that I still had a lot of product owed to me when the COD shut down and so I was out a lot of hard-earned cash. The only other diet program I've ever done is Weight Watchers, which is too easy for me to "cheat" on - I end up spending all my points on crazy snack foods and don't eat properly, and therefore never lose weight. LAWL worked so well for me and I felt like I was eating really good food all the time. It actually felt easy and like I was making a change in lifestyle and choices. The lites kept me going because I love having sweets and the lites took care of that worry that I would be giving up everything I loved just to be thinner.
I see from my forum research today that LA To Your Door is a possible avenue for new lites. I find that exciting. But I'm also torn. Do I really want to send them more of my money? But will I also give up on something that I know worked so well for me in the past?
I have never in my adult life been happy with my weight. I just turned 43 a couple days ago. That's a very long time to be unhappy and I just want to be in one place weight-wise that is not on the "overweight" end of things.
So I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. Whether its encouragement or what. I just felt that I had to share my feelings - how I'm torn about coming back to LAWL using LA To Your Door vs. what....gaining more weight??? I don't know what the alternative is.
Thanks for listening, everyone.