I had a rude awakening this weekend. I have been feeling absolutely skinny lately. And even though I knew I am overweight, bordering on obese, I felt like I was a wisp. Video cameras were everywhere over the weekend so I saw the reality of my actual size. Yes, I have lost 30 lbs but I am no wisp. I am going to buy an inexpensive full length mirror so I can actually see my entire body every day. I think knowing what I actually look like will be helpful to me in the long run.
WI-up 2.25 lbs from my last low. Read my cards, sort of made a plan. Food – op (in terms of exercise). Exercise – op. Well I wanted to get on the elliptical as an extra today, but I’m too tired. I’ll do it tomorrow. But beyond that I did my usual 45 minutes.
Tera I’m sorry for the pain, but credit for keeping up on PT, even partially. I hope you are now home and your Mom is feeling better.
Robin It sounds like things are going great for you and DD. Down 6 lbs (you), good moods (DD), and healthy eating (both). How’s the biking coming? Don’t worry about the chocolates – credit for nipping it in the bud!!
maryblu I’m glad you’re feeling a bit less sad, and a bit more hungry. It’s nice you’ve been hooking up with old friends.
Beth for pushing past that ‘sticky’ 1 lb. to a new low! Credit for the bike rides and sticking on plan when the adolescent fat chick came to visit (‘I don’t care!’) I hope you had a great 4th with your folks. I hope you are enjoying your new, smaller, pants!
Anne 4 hours on the bike – credit! But it makes me so tired! Credit for recognizing you use exercise to eat off plan. Addressing that is bound to make a difference!
Bill It’s so nice to have you back. I think you brought a bunch of newbies back with you! It certainly has been a hopping weekend on the thread.
Your vacation sounds so lovely. Tibet!! Does T=Tibet? I love the stories - Yak meat and Yak butter. Hiking at 17K feet! Walking around a temple clockwise. The native Tibetan greeting!
one by one Credit that eating is getting beter. 60% op is better than 50%, right? The weight room and pool sound great – credit!
Glad you got a diagnosis – did s/he say how much you need to lose to see a reduction in symptoms?
I understand your body image issues (see above). I don’t think it can be good to be disconnected from what size you actually are. But we each have to do what makes sense for us.
Except for a day here or there, our spring / summer has been like perpetual fall too. We are supposed to have a stretch of summery weather coming up- how about you?
As always congrats on all your art-work!
Margaret I just read all your posts for the last few days – very interesting road you’re on! I love how you’re dealing with all or none thinking; do you think the therapy and work you’ve done on OCD helps you to deal with all-or-none thinking? They do seem very related…
I know you are resisting making response cards, but they have a great deal of value. You’ve mentioned sabotaging thoughts, eating to deal with emotions and adolescent thinking (“I don’t care!” ) Response cards are meant to help you deal with all these things. They are CBT/Beckian responses that you read at least once a day (or more often if a particular sabotaging thought is bothering you). You might consider writing out only 3 or 4 that address the most common or problematic of your sabotaging thoughts. They aren’t a magic pill, but can help you when you need to combat those thoughts. Just a thought!
Tam (tammay)
I live in the middle of nowhere too – Maine at the end of a very long dirt road. I work remotely, so other than my husband, I see very few folks on a daily basis. This group has been a great boon to me over the last few months. I hope you decide to stay for a while.
Karen (Me Too)
I use the 2nd book and really like it. I’ve never used the first, so can’t compare the 2. In my opinion you can use another diet plan with either book, but the 2nd book includes one. I don’t use Beck’s diet plan, I just count calories and have a daily max I try to meet. Yes, you do make your own cards.
Erica back! Credit for eating mindfully when you were tired and away from home… And for choosing to graze on reasonable foods, if you did choose to munch ‘mercilessly’.
I am in the town of China, Maine. It’s about 85 minutes north of Portland and 45 minutes west of Camden (off the major road to Bar Harbor). I see you are in So Ontario – what town? I’ve spent some time visiting – camping on lake Erie, Niagara Falls and it’s environs, Stratford on Avon, Toronto, Tobermorrie, Algonquin (sorry I can’t remember how to spell it…). It’s nice to have another Canadian in the group!
dd and I went to a pool party. I gave her the choice of what she wanted to eat at the party.
We did good....I did put the stop to more than one brownie, but other than that, she and I did great!
The bike still isnt bought, but hopefully this week.
quick note ...I found a great website that helps me put the sugar content in perspective www.sugarstacks.com This has been a very valuable tool in dealing with my dd, and my own self!!
Down 1.5 lbs--don't know if this is just a blip, but I'll take it.
Zumba, credit.
Tracking food, credit.
Choosing to eat at home when my lunch date was cancelled, credit
Bought a kitchen scale, credit.
Husband is catching on--he offered to measure out my glass of red wine before we went to sip on the front porch.
Potential for conflict at work tomorrow, and I spend so much time trying to avoid conflict. . .Maybe I can get myself to read Beck's thoughts on emotional eating again. . .
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating OP; CREDIT moi. No exercise as I still work the time zone change; Oh Well.
Vacation Vignette (3): In one hotel as we walked into the breakfast room with the standard Chinese buffet table in full service, the three of us were quietly ushered into a separate room - the Tibetan Diversity room. In T and western C we were always recognized; there weren't any other Caucasian tourists. The room was decorated with detailed Tibetan designs - rather plush. We were the only guests in the room.
They brought out a special breakfast for us - their image of the proper American breakfast instead of the weak green tea, green vegetables, dim sum, and rice porridge of the Chinese buffet table. It included coffee with milk, orange juice, three kinds of white bread, butter from New Zealand, jams, fried eggs, fried potatoes, and fried SPAM!!!! Just blew my mind; I haven't had fried spam in years. It was delicious.
onebyone – Kudos for going to your doctor instead of just ignoring the symptoms; Ouch that it's a real condition. But sounds like you're in the groove to work that.
Yeah for the action on your class and the interviews. So glad to hear progress in your career.
Robin (RobinW) – Kudos for you and DD succeeding at the pool party. Just love hearing that DD continues the good fight.
ChinaMaine - Yeah for feeling skinny; it seems to be hard for some folks to feel skinny even when they are, so you're ahead.
Yep, I use T for (T I B E T) and C for (C H I N A) just trying to avoid having the google bots and the bots of any interested gov't focus on my posts. It's a region of serious concerns about outsiders stirring up trouble; I've talked to people stateside who were there and made to leave.
Margaret (Nuxmaga) – Kudos to your DH for offering to measure your wine - that's super support.
Good luck with the conflict at work today.
Karen (Me Too) – Yep, Beck's not a cure all, but a help to stick to your diet. Methinks you got it.
Readers -
Quote:
Whether you're depressed or content, a stay-at-home or working parent, a binge eater or social eater, a dieting novice or dieting pro, the Beck Diet Solution can help you.
Coaches/Buddies/Matadors - Yesterday was Day 8, Create Time and Energy. I created a google calendar for this and scheduled a sample day. The coming year will be extremely busy for me ... my piano-teacher colleague at the university is going on sabbatical and I'll be taking up much of the slack. So planning is very important.
Today is Day 9 - Select an Exercise Plan. This is easy - running has always worked for me and I will go back and do C25K (the Couch to 5K running plan) again to get restarted. Spontaneous exercise is something I could definitely do more of, but I do walk a fair bit and climb stairs as part of my daily life. In fact, I think this is why I haven't gotten even bigger or totally lost my fitness.
I had a very rough day yesterday because I have been having real trouble sleeping here at the in-laws'. It's certainly not their fault; I've just been waking up at 3:30 and not being able to sleep for hours afterwards. So I ate spottily. Oh Well. I took 2 Benadryl before going to bed last night and I think today will be much better.
Maryblu - Yay for Senate representation for Minnesota! By the way I heard a fantastic girl's choir from Minneapolis the other day, called the Minnetonka Chamber Choir. They are here for the choral festival my husband is singing in. Very beautiful and inspiring.
Nuxmaga - Great job on walking, planned eating and tracking!! Is that the Rumi poem about the guest house? Tara Brach quotes it in her book - I just love it. Great suggestion about arranging my environment here. I am definitely going to try it today.
Greenville Beth - WTG on eating well. That's really exciting about the galleries!! Is there any sample of your work online I can look at? Exercise scheduling is definitely a bear. The last time i had a 9-5 job, I actually lost about 30 pounds - I took the early bus in to work and worked out at the gym on the university campus where I was working. It was a massive pain but I sort of felt like a real athlete doing it.
BillBE - Good morning (sticking tongue out at you) Fresh fruit!! WTG. I'm going to have some upon finishing this post I think. Just love those vacation vignettes. I'm wondering if the yetis are in exile with the Dalai Lama.
Karen (Me Too) - You can do it! Looking forward to learning more about your journey.
onebyone - Indeed - big credit to you for keeping your focus on the goal. Good to know that the pain in your leg will gradually go away. Ceramics sounds fantastic. I would love to see your Sasquatch/Yeti when it is done. Maybe he can be our mascot!!
ChinaMaine - Great job staying OP! I think I can visualize where the town of China is - I have been to Camden a couple of times (Yarn stores!!) I live in Hamilton, halfway between Toronto and Niagara Falls. It's a really convenient place to live and I often have playing jobs in Toronto, Hamilton, St. Catharines, Niagara region etc.
Well I've spent a sleepy morning trying to get my things together for today's event: 6pm - 9pm Art Show Opening at BLINK Gallery Ottawa, across from the National Gallery of Canada and probably the closest my work will get to the NGC for quite sometime (unless I'm lucky! One can hope.) I'm sleepy casue I was at ceramic class last night. Boy I sure don't function well after 7pm. I just stared at my clay and then I made a fish head. And then I gave it a coat and arms. So it's the best fish in a coat I've ever seen. It just happened.
I'm starting to get flack about the children's ceramic art stuff already and here it is week one only. Man. They want the impossible done: make, dry, bisque fire, glaze all in 5 days..oh actually 4 days cause they want it for show and tell on Friday afternoon. Wet, just-made, things were arriving in the kiln room on Wednesday. They did not go in the kiln last night way too wet = explosions = wrecking the kiln AND other's work. The school has got to accept clay takes time! Respect the process and the material. Sheesh. More griping on this to come Becksters. Beware.
I won't even begin to tell you the things ahead of me. Mostly I need to start cleaning for the visit of my SIL and her DH next Wednesday. My place never did get put back together after they came in to replace the windows... so much much much to do...and much much much less time to do it in.
Speaking of such things I have to go. Enjoy your Thursday.
ChinaMaine yeah I've had my own self-revelations via the media of photographjy and moving pictures both. I need to look at them again to stay on track though they are certainly painful. to you for these feelings. Credit for your 45 min workout.
RobinW Thanks for the sugarstacks site. I love the carrotstacks too. Credit on enjoying the pool party in moderation.
Nuxmaga Facing conflict and not retreating into food is a constant challenge for me. I can stand my ground better than ever these days but give me a family conflict and I am a lost puppy. Just remember food didn't cause it so it can't cure it.
BillBlueEyes Interesting how we are also pigeonholed culturally, this time via breakfast food. Did you want to be with the locals or did you really want what they gave you? How did you feel about that? Interesting.
eusebius Creating time and energy are always a challenge for me. My last year at school has been non-stop work and really nose-to-the-grindstone work. My chocie of course and done with a view to really pushing my skills and it has all paid off BUT my body has paid the price cause I didn't follow basic Beck rules/guidelines. I am not sure what the answer is. I seem to always work very hard and very intensely and then flake out. Binge work is what I do and have for years. I attribute it to being self-employed most of my life with no regular day job the hours/days melt together and then I find myself staring at a deadline. oops! Anyway. All that to say, yes, it is VERY important. Now wonder it's in the first 14 days of her book. And I will keep us in mind as I forge ahead with my ceramic Sasquatchian plans (actually I was thinking one side Sasquatch, other side Yeti = one side brown one side white )
Coaches/Buddies Another quickie. Sorry. Work is stressful and I'm not sleeping well again. Food is on an off. Exercise is on and off. I'm hanging on and trying to remember that this will pass, and things will get back to normal.
Welcome back, BillBE. Loving the vacay stories. to everyone else.
Today, 10,000 steps with a lunchtime walk, credit. Tracked food, credit. Resisted most of the junk at work. The conference room is across the hall from me, and the buffet is set up in the hall, every Thursday. Maybe if I catapulted myself across the hall and didn't turn my head, I wouldn't see it. . .
Conflict didn't come to pass today, but sooner or later this person will show up in my office to complain, rather than talk directly to the person who they really need to deal with.
wndranne--hang in there! I hope you start getting some rest.
onebyone--wow, that's some basic misunderstanding of how clay works on the part of the school! It's weird how some areas I feel so much like an adult, but give me an entitled male about the age of my father, and I'm like 5 years old. Good luck with the cleaning!
eusebius--Hope you found some ways to arrange your environment and that you get more sleep. Yes, the Rumi poem is about the guest house--his poems are wonderful.
Bill Blue Eyes--Fried spam?? Glad to hear you are eating on plan. Has it been rough going back to your regular diet, or more of a relief?
RobinW--Congrats on the pool party moderation. That sugarstacks site is a great visual.
ChinaMaine--Yes, working on the OCD has been crucial to dealing with my all-or-nothing thinking! OCD demands certainty--ie. no matter that I can't predict the future I want to absolutely know that this or that thought will go away, or that I'm doing my eating exactly right, and all-or-nothing thinking is intrinsic to OCD's demands. That gray area is really anxiety provoking for me--I'm practicing making decisions even if I haven't massively researched every detail, normal decisions that most people don't think twice about. I'm tracking my food even though I have no guarantee I "really" know the true calorie value, and believe me, that can be a challenge, but it's worth it because I'm seeing the trends and how certain choices can jump up my calories very quickly.
I had a lovely day. I think I’m over the post-entertaining tiredness. I had breakfast and lunch by the lake. And DH and I spent an hour out there after dinner. It was perfect weather today. DH is keeping busy – his current project is building our dock one section at a time. He’s designed a 5 section dock (basically it’ll be a 20’ ramp ending at a 12’ x 12’ floating dock). He started building 16’ of the ramp (in 2 sections) today. While he was working on it, a Great Blue Heron landed on a rock and spied on him for a few minutes. They he jumped off the rock and strolled along the shore and off our property.
WI-down 1.5 lbs. Read my cards, made a plan. Food – op. Exercise – op. I did my usual 45 minutes plus 7 minutes on the elliptical (5 minutes is better than 0, right?) and an extra 1 mile walk. Credit!!
Robin for you and DD. Credit for only 1 brownie!
Margaret Getting a kitchen scale is great. It’ll help you stay op. Credit! It’s nice your DH is starting to measure now. It warms the cockles of my heart when my DH measures out my meat for dinner. that you deal with tomorrow’s stress!
Ha! Seems the stress passed you by today. Credit for resisting most of the junk at work. Free food at work is always so hard to resist… What if you hopped past the table on a pogo-stick?
Bill jetlag is a bear – credit for giving your body a break until you’ve adjusted. Quite a breakfast story today. I assume you would have preferred the C-ese buffet? I have never had Spam at all – I can’t even imagine having it fried. But you really liked it?
It’s really too bad it’s necessary to use T and C. I have to admit to a lack of imagination when it comes to repression. I can’t fathom what it would like to live without the freedoms I obviously take for granted...
Erika It’s great you do so much exercise already – credit! Camden is a nice town – it’s gotten much more frou-frou in the last couple of years. But I love the harbor there…
Hamilton, Ontario. I’ve only driven through on my way to other places. But my DH and I were just talking about the TV station we both watched there when we were kids (late 60’s, early 70’s). This was back before cable, when you coaxed your antenna to pull in far-flung TV stations. I think it was Channel 10 – I watched Star Trek every afternoon after school and my DH watched hockey once a week with his Dad (he thinks it was a show with Al Hamel…) Anyhoo – that’s neither here nor there, you’ve triggered some memories there. Thanks!
one by one Yikes – sounds like your work-related rollercoaster is going full-steam again. Good luck dealing with it. I know you can find a way.
Anne Ouch that you still aren’t feeling well. I hope things turn around for you soon.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating OP including making my lunch for work; CREDIT moi. My digestive track has not fully returned home yet, nor my sleep schedule. My body just isn't functional at the gym level yet - even long walks level. This morning I "slept in" until 3am so that's an improvement.
Had a nice NSV when a friend at work who is also maintaining suggested that I'd lost weight on my vacation. Maybe a couple of pounds, which I consider dehydration loss until I stabilize, but it was nice to have someone notice. I do miss the attention that I got when I was actually losing.
Vacation Vignette (4): Saw a Chinese teenager wearing a New York Yankees ("NY") baseball cap. Now this tweaked my interest, and, as a die hard Red Sox fan, gored my goat.
So, I asked her if she was a Yankees fan. Well, no she wasn't. And then, no she didn't really follow American baseball, or baseball at all. Nor did she seem to know who the New York Yankees were or that the cap was about them.
She said she likes the cap because Beckham wears one.
(I didn't push my luck trying to figure out whether she follows soccer or husbands of Spice Girls, LOL.)
onebyone – Ouch for being tired when you burn your candle at both ends, LOL. Love the thought of your fish head with a coat and arms. Is your brain more creative when it's being overworked?
Your audience seems to be unaware of the real process of using clay. Maybe the kids should be using children's play-doh; avoid all the issues of real clay and just bake it in an oven. Your clean up would be easier and folks who don't know the difference might be just as happy.
I really wanted to eat with the Chinese tourists for the people watching part. I liked the Chinese buffet; veggies for breakfast is rather nice. I'd just skip the weak green tea - which I love with dinner - and get a strong black tea or coffee.
Anne (wndranne) - Ouch for being "off." Yep, this too shall pass, but it's a PITA waiting patiently for that to happen. Sending supportive thoughts for the work stress.
ChinaMaine - Yeah for the exercise and being over the "post-entertaining tiredness." Spending so much time down on the lake sounds so much fun; I'm green with envy at the thought of a Great Blue Heron strolling by. (Will trade you 10 Mourning Doves and a Rock Pigeon for one.)
Kudos to your DH for taking on a major project to keep busy.
It really is a shock to encounter fear of authorities. It was real. It was palpable. We saw an incident where some tourists gave the check point guards a verbal drubbing and found themselves "held hostage" waiting for their passports to be returned. It's pretty amazing that this week the authorities are giving journalists tours of the areas of civil unrest rather than repressing journalists as was done in T a year ago. Change does happen.
Margaret (Nuxmaga) – Kudos for passing on the FREE food at work. LOL at the creative solution of catapulting yourself across the hallway; now that's using CBT for problem solving. And Kudos for the walking and 10K steps.
Yep, it's been a relief going back to my regular diet, like going back to my current comfort food. I actually like fried spam; it's comfort food from my childhood, which I avoid not only because it's almost 80% fat but because the smell drives my DW crazy.
Erika (eusebius) - Kudos for doing the Google calendar thing to work your Time and Energy strategy. Sounds like a good idea for a busy year next year. And Ouch for the lack of sleep - hope that subsides before it drives you bonkers.
LOL at "wondering if the yetis are in exile with the Dalai Lama." Watch yourself there - you'll give onebyone ideas for a combined Yeti/Dalai Lama sculpture.
Readers -
Quote:
You'll get to the point where you react differently when you see food you know you shouldn't eat.
The Beck Diet Solution, pg 24
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 07-11-2009 at 08:57 AM.
Reason: Typo
It was another good day. I did my usual 45 minutes of exercise in the AM and an extra 15 minutes of walking after work. Credit! We’ve eaten most of the leftover food we had from our houseful of guests last weekend. The only thing we have left is a Spinach and Artichoke dip I found in Cooking Light. We had some after work as a snack – yummy and on-plan. Credit!
I’m glad work is over for a couple of days; we’re hoping to head down to Popham Beach tomorrow.
WI-up .5 lbs. Didn’t read my cards , but did make a plan. Food – op. Exercise – op.
Bill your digestive tract is back to normal soon. for the positive comments from a fellow maintainer. LOL at the Chinese girl who wears a Yankees cap because Beckham wears one. You know it’s probably soccer she follows, is there anyone under the age of 30 who remembers the Spice Girls?
Robin Credit that food is good. But ouch that it’s hot and you are cranky.
I got my book today, can't wait to start reading it and learn what I need to do to lose weight.
step 1 be open minded and willing to do what it says.
I want a happy thin healthy life, so I am willing.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Eating OP; CREDIT moi. Slept until 4:30am - an improvement over yesterday - so I'm slowly making the transition back.
Today is the day I increment my month counter for staying on maintenance; CREDIT moi.
Vacation Vignette (5): From a very respectful distance we became aware that a sky burial was taking place on a sacred mountain near where we had stopped along the road for a break.
According to our guide, the Tibetans actually use five different forms of burial: earth, water (not frequently), fire (cremation), stupa (in an above ground shrine for special figures), and sky.
Sky is the one that fascinates westerners. Along with the belief in incarnation comes a disassociation with the remains of the dead. They've already come back in another life; the remains are for disposal in an ecological manner. Leaving them on a mountain top to be consumed by the vultures is respectful. Again, according to our guide, a whistle is used to summon the vultures.
We saw two large Lammergeyer (Bearded Vultures) circling the mountain. It was a moment of awe. We discretely moved along.
Robin (RobinW) - Kudos for staying on top of food despite the heat. Don't know why Buffalo, of all places, is hotter than we are on the East Coast. Thought you guys always had a stiff, cold wind coming straight from Canada.
ChinaMaine - Drooling over your "Spinach and Artichoke dip." Dips are always hard for me to limit. LOL at your observation about Spice Girls and people under 30.
Karen (Me Too) – Bon Voyage on your journey with your new Beck book. Can't think of a better start than "step 1 be open minded and willing to do what it says."
Readers -
Quote:
the solution at a glance
• Cognitive Therapy is a psychological treatment that will help you successfully lose excess weight and keep it off. . . .
The Beck Diet Solution, pg 25
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 07-12-2009 at 03:57 AM.
Hi Coaches - quick fly-by as I'm alone with DD this morning. Things continue to be up & down here. The alcohol is flowing a bit too freely with all these extra people around (members of the choir DH is singing in) and I need to cut back generally. Terrible headache this morning. On the positive side, I am sleeping a bit better.
I've been reading Days 10 and 11. Set a Realistic Goal is no problem - I'm happy to think in 5-pound increments. Differentiate between Hunger, Desire and Cravings is also not too difficult. I'm very rarely acutely hungry. My problem is, and has always been, emotional eating. Sometimes I'll eat when I don't even desire or crave the food all that much. It's sitting with uncomfortable feelings - over and over again. Too bad there are so darned many of them
Sorry I have to run today ... but kudos to all of you on your achievements and NSV's!!
Erika
Wednesday
I have been feeling absolutely skinny lately. And even though I knew I am overweight, bordering on obese, I felt like I was a wisp. 
Video cameras were everywhere over the weekend so I saw the reality of my actual size. Yes, I have lost 30 lbs but I am no wisp. 
I am going to buy an inexpensive full length mirror so I can actually see my entire body every day. I think knowing what I actually look like will be helpful to me in the long run. 
WI-up 2.25 lbs from my last low. Read my cards, sort of made a plan. Food – op (in terms of exercise). Exercise – op. Well I wanted to get on the elliptical as an extra today, but I’m too tired. I’ll do it tomorrow. But beyond that I did my usual 45 minutes. 
I’m sorry for the pain, but credit for keeping up on PT, even partially. I hope you are now home and your Mom is feeling better. 
Down 6 lbs (you), good moods (DD), and healthy eating (both). How’s the biking coming? Don’t worry about the chocolates – credit for nipping it in the bud!!
back! Credit for eating mindfully when you were tired and away from home… And for choosing to graze on reasonable foods, if you did choose to munch ‘mercilessly’. 
Thursday
stacks too. Credit on enjoying the pool party in moderation.
Interesting how we are also pigeonholed culturally, this time via breakfast food. Did you want to be with the locals or did you really want what they gave you? How did you feel about that? Interesting.
Thursday
that you deal with tomorrow’s stress!
Tgif
