Beck Diet For Life/Solution – April 2009 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

[onebyone]

Evening coaches (what? it's almost 7? Argh.)

I went out this morning to school and worked in the ceramic room, then went into the computer lab and printed stuff out for my bus project then off to class for discussion..only 3 of us there today everyone else stayed home to work... then left school early and went to Walmart to print out photos for my downtown market application and that took some time and came home and just collapsed. DH made dinner but not before I scarfed down a bag of chips and piece of pizza and some juice; in about 10 minutes. I didn't eat all day again. I sure can eat a lot in a few minutes.

And so I ate to zone out again. maybe I should substitute with a bath or something. I've been using this method for a few weeks now and my big jeans are feeling tighter and that scale is not moving more than a pound or two and I am scared that I am slowly *accepting* 265-268 and my "new normal". I drank half the water I intended to yesterday. So far none today so I'll go drink a couple of cups when I log off here. Before I hit the hay tonight around 11:30 or so I'll get the 8 cups in. I promise.

Tomorrow is the first of my last classes. The Business of Art class ends. One down, four to go. Thursday is our final Media Studies. My project is yet to be made. That's for tomorrow. Two more nose-to-the-grindstone days. I think I'll a) drink my water and b) have either a bath or a shower when I come home starving. I'd say I'm going to bring my lunch but I won't. I know it. So let's just deal with what is and see if I can't make a small change.

Better go. Time's-a-wastin'.

Have a good night everyone and to all those who have trouble sleeping may you have a great night's sleep.

[davidette]

Tera What an adorable kitty! I'm so glad you rescued him. I know he'll return the favor with much pleasure for you while he's there. I hope he gets a clean bill of health. Glad to hear you are moving forward with medical assistance and proper treatment. it goes well.

onebyone Wow! Love it when you give us a glimpse of your creative soul; I'm in awe. herding cats. Not eating with the stress, you do have a lot going on right now.

kim You are showing great strength fighting your depression. I love the broccoli! Kudos noticing the difference reading your cards made. recognizing a "2 broccoli" behavior! "Doing the dreaded tasks first" is generally a good thing, but we need to watch it doesn't become do everything before taking time for yourself, or to just enjoy life. It always took a conscious effort for me to play with my children; I wasn't brought up that way.

chinamaine OP, low fatigue! Thanks for the protein reminder, I get plenty overall but perhaps it needs to be spread out more. Sorry your cottage is no longer there, but I know visiting the property is a joyful trip. Thanks for reminding me about fun memories. With the day to day routine, I tend to overlook just remembering.

anne I applaud your creativity with the Cheerios and meatballs but I don't think it will catch on, except maybe with the preschool crowd. I'll have to give Volumetrics a good look. Does it advise eating large amounts of low calorie foods? I would rather train myself to be satisfied with "normal" amounts, but that may end up impossible.

You have great insight into your stress precipitaters and symptoms. I know you can find a different way to look at the trip, if you can just find the time to look at the 7 questions; could perfectionism or exaggeration be pushing you off balance? (They're two of my favorite sabotaging thoughts!)

Bill using the old "just one", putting your walk first! Thanks for the verification that it's possible to grow accustomed to eating less; I'll never get there if I don't believe it can happen. BTW Costco had some new oranges today, "Tarocco"; super juicy blood oranges....try them.

Robin Doggie therapy! Don't know what I'd do without my cat and my dog. Whatever phone call you didn't make, they love you anyway. You'd be a wonderful blogger, I hope you can get that going without it being one more stressor to prompt stress eating. Let us know how the new books turn out. I listened to Waiter Rant on CD this winter; he started out blogging about his trials and tribulations as a waiter (anonymously; obviously his customers could not know because he was usually harpooning them... bye bye tips!). I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the CD of his book which is based on his blog. To his amazement, his site became so popular publishers approached him... you never know.

Forgot to try the backward lunges. I hope I don't have as much trouble as when the water instructor has us doing jumping jacks "inside out" : hands in when legs go out and viceversa.... this while moving in a circle to the left, and then to the right, and then crossing legs when they are both in, first right over left, then left over right.... I practically drown. If you aren't laughing picturing a group of heavy older women trying to do that, you should be. We certainly do, when we can get enough air!

I'm finding it quite a struggle to leave even a crumb on my plate, not because I'm hungry, but in fear I will be hungry. I thought I had "hunger is never an emergency" down, but it appears I'm still working on it! On-plan, but recognizing this is the calm before the storm; lots going on in May. I'm glad I have this opportunity to ingrain healthy habits and still practice some flexibility. Not that No Choice has left my vocabulary: 2 weeks now with no diet cokes. I am much less bloated, drinking lots more water, CREDIT MOI.

to all

[twilit tera]

hello all.

not up to a full report with personals, I hurt and am very tired. I'll give you the important stuff.

Went to parkland, not eligible. According to them, I should go without groceries to get on hubby's insurance rather than trouble them with it. I cried a lot after that.

Spent remainder of morning getting prescription drugs via Primacare for pain management while hunting for alternatives. I get pharmeceutical relief for 10 days then I'm SOL.

Afternoon was spent on phone and computer talking to insurance agents. frustration level high. Overwhelmed and confused.

Kitten tested positive for FIV but negative for leukemia - overall a good outcome considering time outdoors. Doc even said it was highly likely to be a false positive since he was only about 6 weeks old.

He was adopted by a nice lady with a large country house who said that her first cat had tested positive for FIV falsely. She fell in love with his picture and snatched him up 10 minutes after posting it on Craigslist. He's hiding in her bathroom now instead of mine. I feel good about the transaction and she offered to send me email updates with pics.

After he left, Scampers came up for some serious face time. That was the high point of my day.

[ChinaMaine]

Beck – WI-down .75 lbs. Read my cards; did a food plan. (credit!) Exercise – op (60 mins – credit!). Fatigue: 1.0 (1=Feel great, 5=Extreme fatigue). A great day!

angelmomma so sorry for the a-fib. I hope the doctor’s visit goes as you hope.

Kim Hunger is not an emergency – credit! Making it easy to read your cards in the AM – credit! for hitting second goal! Sleep! Op eating! Relaxing in front of the tube! And Running clothes are clean! Wow you are a dynamo!

Anne I’m so sorry you are fatigued and stressed. I gather it’s the visit coming up. Try to be reasonable, try to take baby steps, relax, and have fun. Cheat sheets and CBT are not about dwelling, rather shedding the bright light of day on things that you have the power to change. That said, you know you – doing a cheat sheet may not be the right thing at this time. Trust yourself, I guess is the best I can suggest.

one by one I’m sorry you are stressed – but you are another day closer to being done with school! And credit for not eating in response to the stress!! Oh darn – ouch for eating to zone out today.

Bill All this talk of backward lunges…. Do you make one leg bend in the opposite direction like a dog?? – I need to get on youtube and see someone doing these things.

Robin writing smaller on your whiteboard – to both give yourself more empty space (less stress) and add more items (presumably, more stress?) -- LOL Give your furry therapist a goods scruff for me…

davidette jumping jacks inside out – you and Bill (backward lunges!) have me all discombobulated about exercise… Credit for op! You’ll be leaving crumbs on your plate soon. And 2 weeks diet coke free! Credit!

Tera I’m so sorry you are in pain! I have such low regard for the medical bureaucracy – I’m so sorry the woman and parkland was so coarse and thoughtless. I wish I could say it’s unusual – because it’s not… That said, baby steps, one foot in front of the other. Your health is important enough for you to face down the dragons of the insurance world. In the meantime, here’s another

[AnneWonders]

Coaches/Buddies Still sick today. I think I'm starting to feel better; coughing was down to a mild roar by lunchtime. I had only a mental food plan today, but I stuck to it, so CREDIT me.

I decided to take advantage of the family being out of the house and got it decluttered and picked up. A bit here and there, all day long. First goal was just to get all the junk in the right room, second was to get all the junk in the right place, and third was to remove some piles of junk to the trash. I managed it all.

I figured out that my stress about the upcoming trip is due to "Negative Fortune Telling." The last two trips to Boston have been exhausting and not entirely fun, and I got violently ill both times, so perhaps my repressed negativity is not completely unjustified, but on the other hand, random stuff happens and the likelihood this time is small. I was also dreading packing, but getting the house in order makes that a lot simpler so the sick days were not all useless.

onebyone Did the photos happen?

I think taking a bath to relax instead of scarfing food is a good idea, but is there some alternative to packing lunch or going completely hungry? I'd be off plan to if I didn't eat all day. Even grabbing a latte or something would get you some milk, if that is an option.

Glad to see your light at the end of the tunnel on your classes!

Bill Nice work on talking yourself through your squats and push ups. The just one set thing really helps me with my strength training because I detest it.

RobinW At one point after DS was born I used to have things on my to do list like "shower" and "go to work." I wouldn't exactly forget but having it written down helped to get me focused. Congrats on crossing off two big ones!

Your blog is live but empty! I got some good advice on internet stuff once that I always try to follow. Never post anything you wouldn't want your mother or your boss to see. I would think that customers would fall into a boss-like category.

Kim Good to see lots of dancing broccoli, and a special on giving yourself permission to have some down time.

There are tens of thousands of free books available for the Kindle and other eBook readers, many of them classics, but also many aspiring writers, and some commerical freebies. (Bill look away) Check out feedbooks.com or mobileread.com.

davidette Volumetrics is a way of eating (a diet?) based on the concept of energy density, and written by Barbara Rolls who is one of the researchers who studies this stuff. There is usually a support thread here on 3FC, in the General Diet Plans section (like us), but it gets a bit less traffic and sometimes gets bumped off the front page. I don't always eat this way, but it is true that I almost always do better when I do.

LOL on your aquatic jumping jacks. Sounds like fun!

Tera Sounds like a thoroughly rotten day with the health insurance stuff. I think your persistence is admirable.

Glad your kitty found a home!

ChinaMaine What a great day!

Thanks for the Cheat Sheet suggestion. I did try it, but uncharacteristically, for Sunday, I just came up with no answers. A weird day.

G'night everybody. I'll check in tomorrow and then periodically for the next week.

Anne

[AnneWonders]

Coaches/Buddies Someone, possibly even me, left the pantry door open and I walked by while I was all munchy. Now I'm in it for a (SmartPop at least) and a muffin for about 400 calories total. This is while watching the Biggest Loser no less.

Got back on track with an herbal tea, reading some RC, and generally reminding myself that, no, I don't want this. and .

Lesson: close the stupid pantry door. I'm sure I would have wanted to eat anyway, but without the visual cues and the added effort of opening a door I probably wouldn't have. Other contributing factors: getting past an obstacle (unhelpful thinking about trip) without keeping up my vigilance, and also watching TV, even "motivational" TV.



Anne

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Ate on plan; walked after work. CREDIT ho; CREDIT hum.

Made the walk to the more distant supermarket that has a super price on a bag of red bell peppers. Somewhere I read that the red veggies are good for male plumbing, which has served to help justify that I slice up a whole one for my finger salad for lunch every day.


onebyone - Kudos for a productive day - lots of stuff accomplished. Ouch that you forgot to eat which, of course, led to a vigorous eating response. You're doing good to view your eating and to post here on 3FC. Such a major phase of your life is coming to an end that it's not surprising that lots of emotions are flaring up. Keep the faith.

Robin (RobinW) - Yay for the furry therapist!! Congrats for getting two big items done from the white board.

Would seem to me that keeping your blog private would allow you to be more open than if your customers were reading it. If I carried weight and was hoping to be invisible, I might not feel comfortable confronting someone who is that conscious of weight issues. YMMV.


Anne (wndranne) - Bon Voyage for your journey to far away lands. Kudos for getting everyone packed and organized. Wishing you good luck through all the airports along the way.

Ouch for the late night munchies. Kudos for fessing up immediately and getting your head back in working order.


Tera (twilit tera) - Sending supportive thoughts for your struggle to get the medical care you're seeking. Ouch that that avenue didn't work out, and Double Ouch that it was such a negative emotional experience.

Kudos for seeing the positive in your face time with "Scampers."


davidette - Kudos for two weeks without Diet Cokes. Ouch for the struggle to leave food on your plate. That was amazingly hard for me, also, but I've finally done it a few times. Good to be planning for your busy May coming up; just be sure that you're not falling into one of the Thinking Errors where you make overly negative projections.

Thanks for the tip; ""Tarocco"; super juicy blood oranges" are on my list now.


ChinaMaine - Yay for fatigue level of 1.0. And Kudos for a stellar day.

LOL at the confusion about backward lunges. They are the same motion as regular lunges only executed as if the film were running backwards.


Kim (bennyhannamama) - Kudos for taking the relaxing time with the kiddo midday. And Congrats for meeting your second goal.

Interesting thoughts about the feelings if I stopped after only one set. For me, it would be OK; I'd still have one set done.


Readers -

Success Skill 7
Plan and Monitor Your Eating
...
In Stage 4 you will learn how to be more flexible with your eating and will be able to make some decisions about what to eat in the moment. But, first, it's important for you to learn to be an inflexible eater - one who makes a plan and sticks to it absolutely. This is an essential skill that will help you maintain your weight loss for the rest of your life.
...
The Complete Beck Diet for Life, pg 89

[davidette]

Tera Sorry Parkland did not work out The indifference of the bureaucracy is astounding. I hope you will luck onto an insurance agent who can steer you to a more helpful program or a more reasonable policy. You should feel good about finding kitty a good home; so many pets have been abandoned with the recession.


chinmaine WI down 60 minutes exercise! feeling great!!

anne dealing with the cause of your stress versus just the symptoms, which are so much harder to ignore! going through off-plan, back on track, and lesson learned in record time!

bill extending walk. CREDIT mindful eating with nutritional value of red peppers!

Feels good to be back in my routine "morning" slot here; you guys motivate me for the day My favorite, step class, is on the schedule. I'm going to enjoy the luxury of having one overriding goal: Reinforcing healthy habits!

to all!

[Athenawithheart]

So I have been completely off plan for the past three days. And it cost me 11 pounds. Yes, I am up 11 pounds in 3 days. *the heaviest of sighs*

So back on plan today. I'm going to skip weighing at WW, but I will go. The first half of the weight should come back off pretty quickly. Not sure about the second half.

Easter just completely threw me off. I totally blew it. And, thankfully, there is not a major holiday for months. Next time I may have to institute a eat-only-what-you-take rule or something until I feel more in control.

I know I can't expect myself to be perfect. I need to move on and move past this. But it is disappointing.

Also, the gym I was going to 2x/week over lunch has closed. And I haven't been sleeping well, and so I've been skipping my morning workouts. I need to get back into the habit of going to the gym every morning as well.

[twilit tera]

Monday Report

WI: +3

Completely off plan. Eating since Sunday morning has been atrocious. Some of that includes barbecue so I'm expecting half of the weight gain is salt consumption/water retention.

It's okay. pounds quickly gained are quickly lost and I'm not about losing weight, I'm about getting better. Getting better right now means focusing on the hip pain and getting me back out into the world.

The Primacare Dr. prescribed one anti-inflammatory and one really strong pain drug. Woke up today in pain (level 1), slightly dizzy, with drymouth. Grabbed a breakfast bar and a tall glass of water. (much better than the 7-11 breakfast i had yesterday.)

today I'm playing catch-up in school. I've got a sociology test and response paper due this week in addition to my usual biology/computers schedule.

I should mention that when I saw the warnings on the pain drug samples he provided, I considered holding onto them as a suicide method. Depression has been terrible lately - it's hard to see myself as anything but a drain on my family. But then they're the reason I really can't seriously consider suicide an option. I just couldn't do that to them - knowing how much it would hurt them.

So I took my one pill before bed last night and will continue to take the medication as instructed.

This morning I filled out the Addison parks and recreation questionairre (to determine what types of facilities we need) and strongly recommended they build a boundless playground. Oh and I have to stay alive long enough to make my next blood donation appointment.

I'm this close to e-begging. Updating my cafepress site, starting a video blog, spamming everyone I can think of, and asking people to buy stuff specifically to pay for my medical needs.

ChinaMaine: for a great OP day!

In defense of the woman who processed my application at Parkland, she didn't exactly put it the way that I did, but she did have to stamp that "declined" on the application, and I could see the sympathy on her face. It's the system that denied me, not her personally. I didn't intend to imply that she was mean to me.

While I was researching health plans I stumbled upon a message board for agents (I had no idea how many telephone solicitors are for health plans) and one post on it really made me shake my head - an agent sounding the alarm that the new administration was going to institute "socialized medicine" and how bad this would be for all of America. He'd obviously bought the company line.

I wish people would do their homework before deciding how terrible someone else's system is.

Anne: Sorry you've been dealing with health problems. Glad that you've worked out the source of your trip-anxiety and made use of the down-time. Nothing like getting family out of the way to speed up a chore.

Bill: for Op and walk to the store! for yummy bell peppers!

Davidette: I was surprised at how easily I let the little guy go to his new momma. I guess I really don't need a second cat. Now things can get back to 'normal'.

Athenawithheart: Sorry to hear about your holiday off-plan disappointment. Things will get better. It sounds to me like the holiday was a trigger on top of a bunch of other things. Hope you find a new gym you like.

Oh, and backtracking a bit...

onebyone: I really love what you did with the noodle art! The combination of relief and video is unique and interesting! I know it will be a hit!

[bennyhannahmama]

Coaches/Buddies: I finally feel like I'm getting back into the swing of things! Both with taking care of myself and posting here (Coincidence? I think not!)
Some highlights from yesterday:

Brought my Advantages Deck and Response Cards in the car with me to read while waiting for Hannah to come out of school

When I was still hungry after lunch I ate a small bowl of baby carrots and felt satisfied

It was pouring rain last night when it was time to go to my running group. Ross and the kids were both shocked I was still going (I love being part of a group that runs not matter what the weather!). I was running a little bit late and was worried that the group would leave the store for the run before I got there. Luckily I made it there with time to spare. Last night's fun was hill repeats! Picture a big U with the two vertical parts being hills and then a flat across the horizontal part. We were supposed to do 6 repeats (where 1 circuit is up the 1st hill, down the 2nd, back up the 2nd and then down the 1st). This is my first time running in over a week because of hip pain I was having. Well, I did 4 reps and was thinking about stopping. (I made all sorts of excuses, including the fact that many of the people I was running with are those training for full marathons and I'm only training for a half, the other people are faster runners, etc.) And then I thought, this is just like justifying eating something I shouldn't be eating. What would I do then? "NO CHOICE" popped into my head And so I said "NO CHOICE" and did another whole rep! My run came in just under 5 miles when all was said and done. Although I was drenched, I felt fantastic!

I better hit send for now, because if not Benjamin and I will be late for story time at the library. Talk to you all a bit later

[angelmomma210]

Okay...yesterday was long and last night was longer. Was in a-fib again...sure do hate it. Will see dr. on monday. Am really tired of this...it is all that I can think about. Have been losing weight the hard way. When I am in a-fib I can't eat as much and I don't think of food. Not the best way to lose, but I can continue from there. Thanks for the thought and prayers.

[Athenawithheart]

Really interesting article in Wall St. Journal about why certain foods seem to make people hungry, and others make them full. Not sure if I can post the link, but if you google Wall St. Journal and "Why That Big Meal You Just Ate Made You Hungry" it should come up.

"Other researchers have described similar phenomena. An article in this month's Medical Hypothesis argues that for some people, refined foods with high sugar and carbohydrate content can be just as addictive as tobacco and alcohol."

So, REMINDING myself that I have to EAT to lose weight; I just have to eat the right foods. Credit. And I'm chugging along again.

[RobinW]

Athena! Thank you for the heads up on the article. I loved it. Ive been known myself to come home from a restaurant and head right to the fridge because Im freaky hungry after eating.

Tera~ do you use twitter to plug your cafepress stuff? How about constant contact? It's free for 30(?)days for up to 250 contacts. You can put paypal stuff in there. constantcontact.com How about etsy.com? Have you tried them? What are the products you are selling? I might be able to help with ways to market them dirt cheap and free.

You sound so down and depressed. Just the fact that you mention suicide scares the **** out of me. But you've acknowledged your feelings.....now lets see how we can help. Send me a pm if you think you shouldnt post your products here. I dont think it will be a problem if you dont post the link in the public forum.

Bill~ I read that too, and I also read that you can get the same "good" stuff from red veggies if you just ate a tbsp of tomato paste.

Anne~ when you leave the doors open, the talking food can be heard Never a good thing

Our blog went live last night sometime....but it's still empty. Hubby is uploading the template this afternoon, then I should be good to go. We even registered our names in the .com world. Both our names are fairly common and alone each name was taken, so we registered Hubby and Robin. This all came about because of one night of serious restless sleep and alot of dreaming about one particular man who is in the same business as us. He's building a ski chalet!!!!!!! Let me tell you it bugged me down to my toes that he is able to do this, and be semi retired from the sign business! Hubby didnt like that I had been dreaming about him So we got started! Blogs are up, new websites are up, the white board is loaded and new banners and sidewalk signs are up and out!! I want to be semi retired too!!!!! Man it takes alot of work to get there doesnt it? I think the best part tho, was it pushed hubby into action

davidette~

Kim~ Big Kudos for putting your cards in the car!


My eating and exercise....eating is very off, exercise is walking to work....but I'll be walking furry baby tonight after supper.

Have a great day everyone!

An after thought....because I forgot to post about it.

Ive been thinking about whether or not to keep it private or "advertise" it.
Here is the plan so far....I am meeting with my old PT next week. I want to get her involved in this project on some level. I also think there are so many women that I know personally that would benefit from having someone they know who is a "professional" working woman going thru the same things they are. Alright, so I dont want to target just specific women, I thought maybe (maybe...Im still deciding) I would let the women in my "women in networking" groups know what I am doing. Then just let everyone find out if they stumble on the blog. Some are customers, some are contacts.
Any more thoughts on the idea?

[bennyhannahmama]

Onebyone: Being starved and exhausted make staying OP so hard. I think it's great that you came here, looked at what may have caused it and came up with a step in the right direction. Keep up the great work.

Davidette: Wow, that water class sure sounds intimidating to me I have a problem following exercises on dry land in the "normal" order! Good for you for recognizing this is the time before the storm. If you prepare yourself well, the storm doesn't have to hit nearly as hard.


Need to go play with the kiddies, will add more personals later.