I totally, totally blew it yesterday. It would have been OK to have one or two things I don't normally, but it was like I was starving I ate so much. Not sure if it was just the anxiety of seeing my extended family for the first time in a year because of my marital discord, or just telling them about the divorce and why it's happening. Or if it's just I fell into old patterns.
So ... credits? It wasn't as bad as it could have been. And I did weigh this morning - yesterday cost me 5 pounds.
Woah! Those came out a lot bigger than expected! How do I fix that without editing the original image?
Day before yesterday, a new face showed up at my doorstep. This one was not attached to a waddling body or a quacking bill. He mewed and mewed and fell instantly in love with my own cat. It took some food and a lot of coaxing but eventually he warmed up to me too.
I'm afraid I can't adopt him permanently. My hubby already feels crowded in this little apartment with one full-grown cat. But my aunt and uncle are coming today to take Elbi to the vet with me (yes, I named him). He's a scrawny little guy under all that fur and I'd like to bring him inside while we search for a new home for him. (After I'm sure he's not going to pass a lot of buggies to the cat I have already.)
Now, that's where I'm at rescuing stray cats. Where I'm at rescuing myself is this: Today B is running by Dr. G's office to pick up the records of my visits with him. Tomorrow morning, he and I will be going to the eligibility center for Parkland Hospital. At some point in the midst of this we hope to visit Primacare and pick up a prescription for painkillers so at least I'm a bit more comfortable til we can identify and remedy the cause.
Bill: for a happy and healthy holiday get together.
Davidette: for ho humming it through the weekend.
Athenawithheart: Ouch for those 5 pounds. Aren't you glad that today isn't yesterday? You have another chance to make different choices today!
Last edited by twilit tera; 04-13-2009 at 09:23 AM.
I decided to attach a couple of images of my works in progress. One is the macaroni artwork on the landscape underpainting. I don't know if I should leave it minimally macaroni or if I should cover it with pasta? I don't want the noodles to be "just there"... I want them to be there for a real reason... what I can do is start to make my animation. I can definitely begin to make my video today. I still have to glue my macaroni onto my painting, but can add more later if I need to/decide to. It struck me that I am innovating here and I can't think of anything that is like this. I don't know what it's "supposed" to look like so I am on my own here, left to decide by my intuition. I want a "sophisticated" artwork. Actually I am surprised my landscape came out so well. I rarely do landscape paintings--they don't interest me much.
My other jpg is of my bus strike project. This is 1/4 of the whole thing. There are 16 images here and in the end I will have 52. It looks like I may be able to print my piece on a press vs. by hand. On the press I can have results like what you see here. The images are sharp and black and they have an embossment on the back. As a printmaker, I love that and look for that. I am very happy with the print so far. I am going for a feeling of being overwhelmed, and of controlled chaos. I need a few blocks with little going on to contrast all these busy scenes, but it's coming together. 2 weeks until it has to be done. Same with the other project.
Credit moi for continuing to push on through.
Weightwise oh-la-la! She's a rising boys! Man. 268.2 this morning. This is my DANGERDANGERDANGER number. The one change I am implementing today is a real basic one: drink my water! And drink herbal tea! It's good we get a new start everyday. I can use that today.
Gotta go. Much to do again. Will check in with personals later.
Day before yesterday, a new face showed up at my doorstep. This one was not attached to a waddling body or a quacking bill. He mewed and mewed and fell instantly in love with my own cat. It took some food and a lot of coaxing but eventually he warmed up to me too.
twilit tera I am so happy to hear you have rescued this poor little critter, even if it is temporarily. This kitty is SO ADORABLE... bless your kind heart. At least you're giving the kitty a chance to have a good life. to you!
Coaches/Buddies: I can't begin to express how frustrated I am with my lack of consistency with posting here as well as taking care of myself, following the Beck Plan, etc. I've really been battling depression and hope to keep it at bay.
I've gotten my Sensewear armband back (yippee!), which has been helpful.
Here are the things I am doing:
- weighing every day
- sometimes eating consciously and slowly
- usually reading my Advantages Deck 1x per day
- worked out a couple of times this past week
- went to a sports trainer for advice on my hip pain secondary to running and found out it is nothing major, just need to strengthen and he gave me exercises
- finally did the exercises yesterday
- have not purged!
- have accounted for all the food that is passing my lips
Wow, look at that, when I spell it all out it looks pretty darn good. That's amazing!
I really want to get back into personals. I find it so helpful to feel connected to all of you and I love hearing what's going on with others, etc. I hope to do better with all of this starting now I will do the best I can and that will be enough
Beck – WI-up 1 lb. Read my cards did a food plan. (credit!) Exercise – op (45 mins!). My hubbie and I took a walk after work - about a mile. It's my subtle way to get him to exercise more and is a nice way for us to unwind together... Fatigue: 1.33 (1=Feel great, 5=Extreme fatigue). Overall, a happy, healthy hohum day!
Anne Ouch for you off-plan day. Sounds like a cheat-sheet is in order, it just might help it from happening again in the future. Credit for doing all the homework to make today the on-plan day you need. Yes, I will give myself credit once I’ve actually done my cheatsheet. I’ve got that penciled in for tonight… but i'm doing picasa instead, so I'll have to do it tomorrow over lunch...
Robin Credit for throwing away all your off-plan food! Food porn – LOL.
Tera I’m glad you got some pain meds that are helping you. Wow that kitty is adorable. And credit for so moving forward quickly on your hip issues.
davidette Credit for a hohum op day! Have you tried adding protein to your snacks? A small apple would never satisfy me if I was hungry, but an apple with 1 Tablespoon of peanut butter would satisfy me most of the time. I know I need a steady supply of protein (every time I eat!) to feel satisfied. Yes my hubbie is a good sport, this is the last year until we have grandkids I think. The girls are finally getting old enough that though they dearly want to believe in the Easter bunny, they don't actually have their heart in it. ‘pet frogs’ – LOL. And how wonderful to live in your childhood home! When I was little we had a cottage that had been in the family since the early 30’s. We spent every weekend and all summer there. It was on a creek (pronounced ‘crick’) and I have the fondest memories of swimming, playing in mud, skimming rocks and finding treasures both in the creek and the forest. Do you have the same kind of memories? But our cottage is gone now, although the property is still in the family. The land seems naked and foreign without the cottage there, somehow.
Bill Sounds like you had a perfect Easter Sunday – credit! I’m glad you got to have a great time with your grown kids. Children are the gift that keeps on giving…
athenawithheart We all blow it sometimes, a trait of all humans. – and definitely credit because you kept it from being worse. I’m sure most of those 5 lbs will be gone by the end of the week if you get right back on plan. Good luck!
one by one Credit for keeping your good humor – ooolala! LOL Yes today is a new day, as is tomorrow.
Kim Yep when you write everything down, you are doing a lot – credit! Consistency will come eventually, for now just give yourself credit as often as you can. And keep the sabotaging, negative thoughts at bay.
Last edited by ChinaMaine; 04-13-2009 at 09:09 PM.
Was in a-fib again yesterday...it is getting very old. Do have a dr. appt on the 20th...hope to be able to have the surgery soon. It takes alot for me to come back to where I was before the a-fib.
Weight wise...doing okay and am staying op pretty well. No word on dh yet...but our hopes are us.
Take care.
Buddies/Coaches: I'm back to post for a 2nd time today, so that's a good sign
(I really hope my broccoli doesn't get too annoying to people!)
I planned on running tonight, but Ross (kids' Dad, soon-to-be-ex) got stuck at work and my plans needed to change. My Sensewear read-out showed me that although I was laying in bed for 6 hours last night, I was only asleep for 4:53. So, I decided to take advantage of the situation and get to bed early. It's a little bit after 9 and I would have liked to be asleep already, but at least I'm sitting in bed (with my laptop, of course!)
I'm feeling pretty hungry, but have already eaten enough calories for the day, so I'm just going to be okay with the feeling of hunger
I read my RC tonight and placed them on the island in the kitchen (right next to where my laptop sits during the day) to make sure I read them tomorrow too
Now that I think about it, I seriously wonder if I would have chosen not to eat more tonight if I hadn't read those cards.
I really hope to be back on here tomorrow morning. Goodnight everyone!
ChinaMaine: Yeah for a happy, healthy, hohum day!
Oh and yes, I forgot credit- lol! Thanks for your supportive and kind words, they really mean a lot to me.
Last edited by bennyhannahmama; 04-13-2009 at 09:12 PM.
Reason: To fix typos.
Coaches/Buddies I took a sick day today. Headache, fatigue, cough. I'm pretty sure stress is causing a dip in the immune system, and I'm trying to get plenty of rest to compensate.
I was on plan today. I thought about going off plan, but didn't want to have to come back here and report that. One legitimate deviation: DH "helped" me by making dinner tonight, pasta and commercial sauce, but got the pasta on the crunchy side of al dente. So I had Cheerios and meatballs for dinner. Oh well.
Robin You inspired me. I tossed a baguette I was having trouble with this morning. Was wishing I had it back at dinner to make a meatball sandwich with, but, Oh Well.
Tera I've heard a Kindle and a Ziplock work OK in the tub, but I'm not trying that one, LOL. Had a fine day reading The Drunkard's Walk on it in between napping.
Glad you got some pain relief. What a cute kitty!
davidette Thanks for the thought about my inner adolescent. I considered that, but my off-plan behavior was very strange, detached, and dominant. And I knew it was a one-time thing, and not the usual whiny nonsense I usually cook up in my head.
I hear you on the volume thing. You've read Volumetrics for ideas, I hope? If not, it's a great resource. I find that as long as I tell myself that an apple is going to do the job, it usually does the job. Head games with me. That's why I'm here.
Yay for ho hum.
Bill I think the adult children's Easter basket strategy can fall under either managing your environment or making energy for dieting, both by cultivating good relationships and family harmony. It also makes you a really great father!
Nice work on the Easter dining.
Athena on your bad day. Most of the 5 lbs will come off soon. Some of it could be an electrolyte imbalance from your long ride the other day. That happens to me quite a bit too. I'm glad you found a way to get yourself some credit in a tough situation.
Story time..BRB to finish up, but don't want the post monster to get tempted.
Robin Glad you are back on track today. Hope you got a lot of those to dos knocked out.
onebyone Love the macaroni and bus projects! Hope you made the most of your new start today. I hear your DANGERDANGERDANGER zone calling. I like that you picked one small step.
Kim You have a lot to give yourself credit for, and I'm glad you're doing that. It is good to see you coming here. Even if you just skate through and give us a wave, and you're doing much more than that.
I think getting some extra sleep instead of running sounds like a good trade after a 5 hr sleep night! Good for you for recognizing that.
ChinaMaine Glad you had a ho hum day and low fatigue levels.
Thanks for the reminder to do my Cheat Sheet. I basically think I'm so stressed out. I have found in the past, that it is helpful not to dwell on uncomfortable feelings. For me, sitting with sadness, or anger, or uncertainty, or whatever just amplifies it and makes it worse. So I distract. I can tell I'm stressed about this trip, and in the usual way am not letting myself think about it much, but am getting lots of physical clues that it isn't a small amount of stress, with the stiff neck, headache, not sleeping, and now possibly a cold. Perhaps I need to confront the anxiety with some good old fashioned CBT techniques.
Chris I hope you get your surgery scheduled soon. It sounds like a difficult thing to live with, both in terms of quality of life and employment. Still keeping fingers crossed for your DH. And kudos that you are managing to work on your weight with this much going on.
And before I get carried away (or my body locks me up completely), we are leaving Tucson at 0'dark thirty Thursday morning, so Wednesday will be my last post here for about a week. I am hoping to use SIL's computer to lurk a bit and maybe post a quick update, but we'll have to see how it goes.
I'm waiting to hear from one person in my grad class about our photography session tomorrow and if I don't hear from them I have to cancel for the group.
My graduation committe job is to take the group and the individual photos and I am trying to get that done. But I have to coordinate a group of 7 students who are trying to get their work done and all feel like I do... this makes me feel like I am trying to do this:
It's my fault too-- Edith, the one person I can't reach, gave me her phone number and for the life of me I can't find it anywhere. It's just gone. I did track down Myra, who is working with her over the weekend, but she hasn't called me back so I assume she didn't reach Edith to ask her about tomorrow or pass the message on... anyway I can't wait forever and need to elt the others know so I think I'll probably just cancel the shoot for tomorrow and re-schedule.
I'll wait until midnight and see what's up.
I'm stressed. But I'm not eating over it. Credit moi.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Did my gym, including one set of backward lunges. Without my trainer that's some good neck exercise watching behind myself to avoid crashing somebody. Thought of some really good reasons not to do my squats and push ups. Then tried the old just-one-set until I did all three sets. CREDIT moi.
And took a walk during lunch - neat because I haven't done that in a long time, yielding to work pressure. CREDIT moi.
onebyone - Yep, Kudos for "continuing to push on through." And Kudos for taking specific small steps toward getting on board your food plan. Are you writing down a daily plan? That can help.
Wishing you good luck in synchronizing the group photo shoot. LMAO at the video of herding cats; my job is like that some days.
And thanks for the photos of your art work in progress. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Robin (RobinW) - LOL at "filled the white board with "to-dos" " - laughing because I've done that before and then felt so overwhelmed that returning to the book I was reading was the obvious choice. Know you'll make a better choice. Maybe your furry therapist will show up again.
Anne (wndranne) - Ouch for having to take a sick day when you're actually sick; that's no fun, LOL. Sympathies for the stress about the upcoming trip - that's justifiable stress all right. Don't forget some sort of jacket for DD; Boston isn't yet warm.
Kudos for using your on-line Diet Buddies/Coaches as memories to stay the course.
Tera (twilit tera) - Don't know why, but I'm oddly drawn to that second picture: staring straight ahead, bright blue eyes, hair on the face, whiskers (OK, and hair sprouting from the ears, LOL).
Kudos for moving forward with working the system for your hip. Sending supportive thoughts for your progress and for the results.
Chris (angelmomma210) - Waving back. Sending supportive thoughts for your a-fib and DH's saga. Hang in there; April 20th is coming.
davidette - Yep, I recognize, "I want so much MORE food." For me, that slowly went away as I grew accustomed to the new way of eating. I worked hardest on finding snacks that satisfied; a small apple never worked for my afternoon snack - although a large apple remains one of my favorite evening snacks. A quarter cup of salt-free roasted soy nuts has become my standard morning snack. Before that, different whole grain stuff worked - Cheerios being a favorite. Kudos for your clarity working through that.
ChinaMaine - Yay for "ho hum" - gotta get the whole board on this ho hum track. Kudos for the covert exercise with DH. And Yay that fatigue was low.
Kim (bennyhannamama) - Yep, Kudos for an impressive list of steps on your plans. Yay for the dancing broccoli's - I love seeing them. And Kudos for reading those Response Cards. No doubt in my mind they helped.
Athenawithheart - Ouch for "it's just I fell into old patterns." That happens. The good news, of course, is that you didn't put on 5 pounds of fat in one day, so you'll get the satisfaction of watching that water hit go away. Kudos for jumping right back on track.
Readers -
Quote:
Success Skill 7 Plan and Monitor Your Eating
...
If dieters want to permanently lose weight, they need to learn to plan their food in advance - and to stick to that plan. In doing so, they will free themselves from the struggle, and once they become very good at it, dieting becomes so much easier.
... The Complete Beck Diet for Life, pg 89
the furry therapist shows up tomorrow morning for 3 whole days Doggie sitting
Got alot of the big stuff done off the list, (2 items) but they took all day. The rest has to wait until orders arrive.
.....and one phone call I keep putting off (why do we do that?)
I think the white board being in the backroom keeps me from feeling over whelmed. I just go back to cross stuff off, then look at the next task Mind you I did buy the finer dry erase markers last night...so I can write smaller and the board doesnt look so full. Mind you this also lets me add more
One of the biggies we have been working on, is getting a blog started. Based on my food and sugar addiction. foodandsugaraddiction.com I dont know if it's live yet...sometime today or tomorrow. Once it goes live I am committed to using the world as my coach. Hubby and I went for a long drive on sunday and discussed my eating issues, what he recognizes as my key factors in derailing me. I have 2 books on order from barnes and noble. Hopefully they will offer insight into the stress eating and some more coping mechanisms for it. I havent decided if I want to go "public" with the blog. Meaning....do I want our customers to know about it? Its kinda like Wynonna going on Oprah asking for help and not being successful. kwim?
Coaches/Buddies:
WI- Hit my second goal today- (but I won't change my ticker, etc. until it lasts a day or two!) :broc
Sleep- got some last night, despite having a hard time falling asleep
3FC- here I am!
Eating on plan so far
Allowed myself to sit and watch part of a movie with Benny while doing some crocheting (in the middle of the day, even though I had things I *needed* to do)
(Had to give myself two for that because this is SO huge. I never allow myself to just sit and relax, ever!)
Running clothes are in the washer now so I'm ready to go to running group tonight and also told Ross that I'd really like him to come get the kids in time for me to make it to running
Giving myself credit
Anne:
I'm sorry to hear that you are sick and I hope you're feeling better soon. Glad to hear you're taking care of yourself. I'm also impressed that you're staying OP while being sick, that's usually a tough one for me, it's an *excuse* to not eat well. So kudos to you. I also like how you're decisions are partially based on reporting back here. I know that is one of the advantages to being consistent with posting and another reason for me to keep coming back here.
I missed your posts about acquiring your Kindle2, but I am very jealous! I've bought myself too many presents lately to justify that one I was also worried about the cost of purchasing books (I'm a big fan of the library), but am very intrigued to hear about books for free; are there a lot of those?
Thanks for reminding me that it's okay to do a fly-by, I really need to get that through my head!
Onebyone:
Quote:
I'm stressed. But I'm not eating over it. Credit moi.
This is HUGE! Hooray for you
Bill: I just did backwards lunges for the first time a couple of months ago (part of training with my running group) and they are tough! Thanks for explaining your thought process about trying to skip the rest of your exercises and how you got through it. I need to keep just one set in my back pocket! I know I've heard so many of these ideas before (actually that one I've usually heard in terms of cardio-- just 10 minutes) but it's impossible to remember all these tools all the time, so I love to hear about other people's experiences actually utilizing the tools successfully! (I know the tricky part for me would be if I did stop after one set, trying not to beat myself up and accept that it was okay.)
Nice job on the walk during work too!
Glad you mentioned the Response Cards in your reply to me since I have NOT read them yet today. I'm about to go pick up Hannah and will be sitting in the car for a couple of minutes waiting outside her school, so I will bring those as well as my Advantages Deck.
Robin: I know what you mean about putting off the things we dread the most. I try to teach my kids to do the dreaded tasks first, hopefully they won't struggle with this as adults and maybe I can even learn from myself!
Good luck with blog. I can certainly see going public with customers, etc. being a really big deal; take your time in your decision.
for a happy and healthy holiday get together.
Monday -- glad to still be home!
aw! so cute!
to you!
I will do the best I can and that will be enough 
Monday, Monday
and is a nice way for us to unwind together... Fatigue: 1.33 (1=Feel great, 5=Extreme fatigue). Overall, a happy, healthy hohum day! 
well I'm stressed.
Mind you I did buy the finer dry erase markers last night...so I can write smaller and the board doesnt look so full. Mind you this also lets me add more 