[AnneWonders]

Coaches/Buddies Today is a serious turning point in our family dynamic. I think I may owe the Tooth Fairy some big bucks. DS's first one broke through last night or this morning, and he turned back into the sweet little boy I've become accustomed too. He also decided that this crawling thing he's been messing with could be put to use and was suddenly all over the place. Then crawling wasn't enough, so he was pulling up, and even let go and proceeded to try to walk, ending up with a couple of nice head plants to the floor. DD suddenly seems to see him as competition and was pushing him away from DH & I, her stuff, his stuff, and started acting out big time to get our attention, and after a string of useless time outs at dinner, I ended up putting her to bed at 5:30 because I was done. Yikes.

In spite of this I stuck to plan. Food was right on, with the addition of a salad at dinner time when it became clear than my plan had about 250 calories less in it than it should have. Good addition, and I talked myself through some hunger to wait for dinner, and read my RCs in response to DD's issues. I also tried to do my run, even though I'm not quite done being sick, and sleep last night was a little rough. Well, a lot rough with the teething thing. It was pretty clear after my third running interval that I wasn't going to make the fourth, so I had a nice walk home.

For the record, the Wii term for "sucky" (see my yesterday post) is actually "unbalanced," which I find much, much more amusing. How could they know the half of it??

Bill My condolences on the loss of your friend. I'm glad you found a way to make it on-plan through the reception. Sometimes the simplest things like throwing away the paper plate just don't occur to me.

I would think that, yes, keeping on excess weight for some period of time would raise your set point, based on what I read. The book didn't talk about whether that relationship was symmetric, presumably since it was focused on weight loss. A motivator indeed. After 6 June, I'm no longer postpartum, I'm just fat, LOL.

CammieCam Evenings are tough for a lot of people. My favorite strategy is just to go to sleep if I can. I long for the days I'd call it a night at 8 pm. No eating plus extra sleep is good for weight loss.

Tera I love Bill's quote of the day as well! This is such a great thread.

RobinW Small steps. One thing at a time. It is easy to get overwhelmed. Please give yourself big credits for posting, and for working on your CT skills.

onebyone Big credit on tracking your off day. That is so hard to do. I've been in the high 4000s before, so I can completely understand. I learn over and over again, never let my guard down too quickly, because just when I think it's over, wham!!

Did I get everyone? Seems like a short list of folks today! to those of you lurking this weekend.

Anne

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Look up; there's a full moon now. Hunger Moon is one of the Native American designations for the full moon of deep winter when food was scarce. (Thanks to Anne (wndranne) for that neat pointer to event of February.)

An odd thing: at the supermarket on Saturday, the huge set of bins that usually contain bananas was empty. No explanation. When I asked, just got told there were none. No sign, just empty. Every fiber in my body wanted to put up a sign with the obvious, "Yes, we have no bananas." A whole lifetime I've known that line and Never had the opportunity to use it. Oh Well.

Had a delightful walk in the warm sunshine. CREDIT moi. (Actually went back to the same place to get bananas - desperate around here when we're plumb out.)


Robin (RobinW) - Sending warm supportive thoughts for you to find your personal peace again.

onebyone - Kudos for tracking your calories when you know you're over. That's such a good sign of staying the course. Some extra calories can be solved, dropping out is much harder. Good work.

Ouch for your "persist in victory" difficulty. It was indeed a neat display of your books. I hope you got an appropriate amount of positive feedback from your peers and from the guests on opening night.

And Kudos for the cooking, tossing, and walking - that should all whack your brain upside the head that you're serious about this journey and get it back in line.

Still holding my breath waiting for your report on your first post-strike bus ride after you return your weekend car rental.


Anne (wndranne) - Yay for first light for DS's tooth. Yay for DD noticing that he's gonna be a person, not just a baby. Yay for DS learning that this crawling thing can be put to good use. And, obviously, Ouch for all of the above. What a ride it is.

And Ouch for being "unbalanced." Double Ouch for it being declared by a d*rn Japanese robot instead of a board certified shrink or sumptin', LOL. Kudos for actively working your CT strategies to confront Hunger before dinner; it is unusual around here for someone to experience real hunger instead of Cravings or Desires. Nice to be reminded that it can be countered as well.


Tera (twilit tera) - Yay that "Oh, well" works for you. I've tended to use No Choice more often, but think I might try to some mileage out of Oh Well. Glad you like the quote from the book each day. Dr. Beck's writing style produces a lot of useful short quotes. I like them also.

Cammie (CammieCam) - Ouch for the rough time! Yep, the unstructured time of evenings invites thinking about eating. In the new book (know that you've just ordered yours so probably don't have it yet) Chapter 3 is Get Ready to Lose. And Task 7 of that is Fill your Distractions Box which is a list of highly distracting activities for just such times. Beck's idea is to make the list when you have access to your full brain to help you when your brain is distracted by Cravings and Desires for food. You've already started in your post with treadmill or do my homework for class. Good luck getting your arms around this.

Readers -

"what to do . . .
To give yourself credit, do the following:

1. Notice every positive eating behavior you engage in - and every time you refrain from eating something you are not supposed to have.
..." The Complete Beck Diet for Life, pg 68

[davidette]

onebyone Wow - incredible books! Your creativity is amazing. You truly are gifted. Thanks for sending the video link. Mucho credit for tracking through your victory rebound eating. That one feels like being clobbered from behind. You are doing an excellent job of picking yourself up and getting right back on the path.

anne I enjoyed your book review (Break through your set point). I am definitely going to check that book out from the library. Seems to confirm the prior theory posted here that "your set point is as strong as it is long" which I have kept in mind to cope with the fact that my weight loss is abysmally slow. Obviously my body does not want to go in reverse. But once I get where I want to be, it'll want to stay there. I'm focusing on that yellow line across my graph (starting point) and edging farther away from it (in the right direction). As long as I look at the total picture, I can see I am losing about half a pound a week which is optimal for keeping the weight off. I'm feeling so much better eating properly and exercising regularly that I am happy to be doing this anyway; it's not torture like diets can so often be. I feel good about nurturing my body. Of course I have to give myself pep talks (you're reading one right now, could you tell?). Coming here daily helps tremendously.

tera Glad to hear the shoes are helping!

robin Sorry to hear you're in a down mode, hang in there. Spring is coming! :

cammie You are probably too young for this, but when the evening snack bug attacks I pick up needlepoint, cross-stitch, any craft that uses my hands. Maybe playing cards? Obviously homework or treadmill are better options but sometimes you're all out of being productive. Credit for recognizing the problem and planning ahead.

Bill Should I run out and buy bananas? My first thought was have they managed to get salmonella in them and they are all recalled?

I'm in a good place right now except spending SO much time food planning and going to the gym is leaving me stressed about other things that are not getting done. I know I have to make time for this first, but I'm starting to see the consequences of slacking off in other areas. I need to find a different way to look at this, or change my expectations of myself. Maybe I'll go back to the Beck 7 questions from book 1; tedious but usually effective (and there goes more time! ) You guys with small kids and full time commuting jobs make me feel like such a whiner (I work from home as a medical transcriptionist) but I sense sabotage!

to all!

[onebyone]

Good Morning Coaches

I am sitting here writing to you guys, coffee to the left of this keyboard and this so great because I'm not in the car on the way to the school 5 hours early! I cam take a bus today AND it's free all week.

( to all my fellow citizens who endured the long bus strike.)

So I get my morning homework time back and that will keep this note short. I have homework to do. I am happy to report 1 lb was burned off of me this week. 260 this morning. I am glad I got back on the wagon yesterday.

davidette Thanks for looking at my books and the kind comments. As for the time it takes to do this stuff... "it's still less time than it takes to take the weight off!" (that's what came to mind...) but I know about time pressure. All I can really say is over-time it takes less time as things become more of a habit. Is this true for you or are you spending the same amount of time daily since you started Beck stuff? DO NOT SABOTAGE yourself! nonononono! Also, you are worth the time to get this thing done right. yes you are.

BillBlueEyes OMG that was hilarious...yes we have no bananas...I'd have been tempted to place a sticky note in the empty basket were I to have a sticky note and pen with me... funny. BTW I heard that banana trees the world over are dying from a virus. have you heard that? eventually they will all die... wonder if this is still the thinking? (we have bananas so no, not yet BBE... you guys are just banana-eaters-extraordinaire or the store blew their banana budget somehow!)

And yes, today is 1st-bus-ride-after-the-strike day. We have buses, but they are on "reduced service". Never sure what that means. I assume it means "packed full and not coming when you think they should". DH said that were this another city, he'd actually be afraid for the bus drivers' safety but it's Ottawa and look, it took until day 48 of no buses to actually get a bunch of folks out and protesting. Hello? if this was Montreal, there would have been rioting and over-turning of cars in day 4! Anyway I think people are just happy to be able to get around again. I'll let you know how it goes.

wndranne Wow that's amazing re:family dynamics and your DD's reaction to the baby-that-walked! Wow. I suppose that would be a huge surprise for a little one to see that happen. Amazing. And the tooth coming through and all that. Gee. It was a really big day and with that you stayed the food course and planned a salad and even had a run. Awesome. I can't wait to get my wii fit! I am looking forward to seeing chubby mii! So exciting. This time next week I'll have it...

Gotta go and do something with this one sheet of paper. My heart's not in it but I'll do it anyway.

Enjoy your day Becksters.

[RobinW]

Hi all.....Im here and op.

I went to target last night and picked up a new notebook just for my workbook work. I worked for about an hour from the Dr. Beck workbook, and then read a bit from the new beck book. I have to say I dont particularly like the new book. Im glad I read the pink one first!! However I can still pull some good out of the new one. (throwing food away?? No!) Even with her thinking of it being wasted either in the garbage or on my hips......no matter. Id be more at peace with taking the rest of the food and tucking it in the fridge.

Here is what is happening in my head (its scary in there sometimes)

I have this event planned for March 24th.
I planned to work the program daily and let the weight take care of itself.
The event is getting closer! (by the friggin day!)
Im starting to panick....I dont want to look like a big fat cow when I host this thing. (yes big fat cow is the picture I have in my head)

This starts all the Robin-bashing....if you would have started this a year ago you wouldnt be in this position. If you would have stuck to your plan 8yrs ago, you'd still be thin etc etc etc.

I know its not good. But I need to seperate everything and just deal with it all one day at a time. Im really struggling with this one.....this is where I give in, because if I feel like Im going to look huge at this event, I may as well enjoy the food that got me here. Right? No, I know that's wrong!!!

Some of you have made up spreadsheets to help you out....would you be willing to share? I would be truly thankful!

Thank you everyone for your good thoughts and good vibes sent my way I really appreciate it.

Today's Plan...

Eat the planned food and nothing else.
Keep myself distracted when Im feeling anxious.
Get on the treadmill tonight and walk or head to the park this afternoon and do a lap!
Tell hubby about the crud going on in my head.

.........that's it from me today. Have a good one!

[kuhljeanie]

feeling marginally better about things today. i'll get there, eventually. time to get serious about the dayton house. i'm going to strip all the ugly wallpaper borders, take down the weird molding (FIL used flooring because it was cheaper - ) and paint soothing colors. and even if it's just a futon frame, i'm moving the mattress off the floor. sleeping on a mattress on the floor is just depressing, and i've been doing it for 7 months. enough already.

had a great run last night on the treadmill (warm enough outside, but dangerously icy) and a productive time making up meals. we ate out a lot this weekend, so i decided ahead of time that i'd follow my vacation plan to order what i really wanted (not what i "should" have), eat it mindfully, stop when i'm full, and be 100% on plan the rest of the time. i did great - even left half a cheeseburger and fries on my plate friday night. woot woot! saturday i was over my calories, but i'm down another 1/2 pound today. big credit moi - the original plan was for dinner and drinks at elsa's (local Mexican pubby-type bar and restaurant), then stop by dorothy lane for wicked, decadent dessert. when we were done at elsa's i realized that i just didn't want anything else to eat, even crazy-delicious DL dessert. and then for good measure i SKIPPED DESSERT AGAIN on saturday night, even though that means that i won't have dessert for another week. finally giving up that sense of entitlement to food i don't really want, but have allocated. i had a very clear thought at the time, which i want to remember - dorothy lane isn't going anywhere. i can always get that stuff, and i want to wait until i'm really going to enjoy it, because otherwise, it's just calories. i may need y'all to remind me now and again.

hi cammie! good luck with the distractions not weighing! hello tera! i'd love to be able to reuse all my packaging, and i do where i can, but sometimes it's not possible, and the sous vide cooking i do requires a vacuum seal. as soon as i cancel my bistro orders, that's one more styrofoam box they won't have to ship, so i feel better about that. can't wait to hear how the new exercises go. i recall the story that joseph pilates developed his system in a hospital bed, hence the frames and springs. if there's a will, there's a way. and FWIW, i'm also a HUGE fan of "oh well!" robin, PEACE! so, yep, putting undue pressure on yourself is a kind of sabotage. but you get that already - you're going to be fine. halloo onebyone! i also loved the video. you're the real deal and i'm happy to know ya, because at some point that'll be worth cool points. and you already know this too, but if you can log it, that's probably 75% of the battle. go on, girl!

miz anne! congratulations on wunderland and teeth! it's AMAZING how quickly they go from unbearable to darling, once those bad boys pop through. i only wish it didn't take so effin' long. mine will be 2 on thursday (holy COW) and he's still missing lots. sigh. DS's behavior makes perfect sense to me, too. apparently i tried to strangle my little sister in her crib when i was 3. your kid seems a lot less angry than i was. kudos on listening to the wisdom of your body when it was telling you it had had enough! hunger moon, huh? that sounds about right, actually. bill, you're scaring me with the no bananas thing. i hadn't heard about this virus you speak of. yipes! davidette, i'm right there with you on the slow and steady thing. it's such a revelation that dieting isn't punishing, and it's great training for maintenance. was also delighted by anne's review, since it means that my long stretches at almost every weight i hit are a little bit of extra insurance against regain. here i thought i was just pokey!

[twilit tera]

Sunday Report
stretched
OP Food
2 hours in new shoes
OP Supplements/Cleanse

All this in spite of the fact that I was bored and a bit lonesome. Hubby had the xbox 360 in the other room, so I couldn't watch zombie cutscenes and I couldn't easily share with him things I was reading. He said that he'd set it up where he did so I could play PS2 or Gamecube in the other room, and I expect that's true. He's really good about doing thoughtful things like that without asking whether I would like them done.

Rain came in overnight. I love a rainfall after a long dry spell as much as a sunny day after a storm.

Oh and for some good news - two of our best friends (practically family) just had their new baby this morning. Welcome to the World, Piper!

onebyone: I really admire the way you recognized your sabotaging behavior, understood it, and pressed on.

Anne: I'm happy your son finally got his tooth out. I'll just bet that the stress of that was so distracting he didn't have the energy to work on mobility. Gonna have to keep a sharp eye on him now! Pity about the sibling rivalry, though. How old is Daughter, again?

LOL about being unbalanced.

Robin: About the Robin-bashing... owie. I don't know about spreadsheets, but I know how I would answer those thoughts if it were me: "My life will neither begin, nor end, at this event. No matter where I'm at when it comes, I need to work on long-term health." If this helps, good. If not, just know I sympathize.

Jean: Sounds like you are doing GREAT!! I will certainly keep everyone here informed about the progress in my exercise program.

Okay, everyone, I'm off to build a book response on The Time Machine vs. Metropolis. Weee!

[AnneWonders]

Coaches/Buddies I took a day off work today. I have a huge headache, and it looks like I might be getting another sinus infection. It isn't fully here yet, so I'm hoping it goes, or I'll be home again tomorrow and getting some more antibiotics.

I have very little appetite today. My plan is healthy and I'm trying to choke it down to make sure I get enough nutrients to keep the immune system happy. This is an unusual thing for me. I'm not doing a Cheat Sheet for undereating, if that should occur, at least while I'm sick.

Bill A day without a banana is like a day without sunshine. I hope you have a stash at home to get you through.

davidette I'm a part timer, or I'd never see my children and never cook a meal and never run a mile. The time management is rough. I find the food planning gets easier over time. I have maybe 5-10 meals for dinner that we regularly fix, half of them extremely easy like spaghetti (boil water) and meatballs (unfreeze) with marinara (open can) and salad (open bag). Routine makes it go faster.

onebyone Hurray for buses. And especially free buses. Boo for overcrowded and late. Lemme know when you get your Wii Fit. I want to know how you do with the tightrope.

RobinW If there is a Beck strategy that you just can't do, skip it. Just skip it, and give yourself permission to do that. She has a lot of good ideas but nothing works for absolutely everyone.

You are very hard on yourself. When I'm getting that way with myself, and I do, I try to ask myself, "What would I tell my best friend if she was in this situation?" I figure I owe myself at least that. Easier said than done, of course, and I revisit this skill periodically, but it is good to develop.

It also sounds from your post like you've put all your Advantages on this one event! I'm sure you have a dozen Advantages for weight loss, and most (maybe all?) of them are not tied to this one event. Are you reviewing the list once in a while to keep a bigger picture perspective?

And now, after impersonating a know-it-all, . I think your responses to this stressful event are all very normal, and that just by coming here and checking in, you are showing that you are still committed and on track for the long haul. In other words, I think you are doing great with the rough patch that you are in, and rough patches pass.

Jean Get on with your bad self dessert skipping! If you could send some of those vibes over this way, I'd really love it! Did you name the treadmill yet? I think you should make a Memory Card (and a Memory Box) with this stuff on it, if you haven't already--one of the really good strategies from CBDL that wasn't in BDS.

Tera Zombie cutscenes? Huh? I think I missed a post! Sorry for bored and lonesome. Lots of purple people there. Good job.

Anne

[LisaMarie71]

I'm trying really hard to keep up with this thread and failing miserably. Add to that the fact that I must always type one-handed (holding or nursing baby with other hand), and personals are out the window for right now.

In brief, still counting calories (approx. 2000/day), weighed in at 218 this morning (depressing if you remember I was down to 214 last week; exciting if you remember I was 223 when I started making an effort a little more than two weeks ago). Giving myself tons of credit for sticking with it, as well as for getting some exercise the last three days in a row. Saturday: walk with three 5-minute jogging intervals; Sunday: walk with two 10-min. and one 5-min. jogging interval (yay! progress!); today: 30-min. stroll with baby. Honestly? Walking is sort of harder than jogging for me, or maybe it just annoys me because it doesn't feel as good as running. Now that I've felt how good distance running feels, everything else pales in comparison so so much. Really must get back in shape!

I'd truly like to eat everything in sight today, but I'm stopping myself somehow!

Have a good day, everyone! Personals later, I swear!

[twilit tera]

Tuesday's Goals

• 3FC x2
• OP Food
• OP Supplements/Cleanse
• Pool walking "while tolerable"

Spent the whole day on my Time Machine report and still only half done.

Tired now, and it's only 8.

Most recent soup experiment a bust, but I learned a few things:

1. No red wine vinegar with chicken
2. No tofu with vegetable base soup

Anne: sorry to hear about the sinuses. I wonder if it's the same "boomerang" cold I had last December that went away for a day and then returned with a vengeance?

No you didn't miss a post - I was just not making much attempt at clear communication. Sorry. Basically, DH had the xbox360 in the living room playing Dead Rising. I'm not interested in "being" in a zombie movie, but I do enjoy watching them and watching him play is a lot like watching a movie, with all the cutscenes dispersed throughout the game. He meant to give me a chance to play games too, but it backfired because I was more interested in watching his game than playing one of my own. Unfortunately there is no way for me to get into a comfortable position out there with my hip as it is.

We talked about it, and it's better now.

Lisa: I wouldn't worry about personals if I were you. I do wonder if you aren't expecting too much of yourself. Hopefully, your 2k calorie plan takes into account the fact that you are nursing. Also, don't forget that weight for us ladies tends to be cycle, so a slight weight gain on your second week back in the saddle could just be your body's cycle.

that you're still checking in, even though it's a challenge!

[ChinaMaine]

Hello again! J and I finished our lovely visit to his Mom and Aunt Saturday evening. His Mom especially is a role model. At 90 she reads several books a week, as well as 3 news magazines and the daily newspaper. She takes care of her 93 year old sister. She manages to be astute in her observations and opinions, always honest, and yet incredibly sweet. His Aunt is no slouch – she’s world famous in her field and a Carnegie Medal of Honor winner. Yesterday we flew home to Maine, and can’t wait to get out to see them again soon…

I’m making a new Advantage Card – If I lose my weight I can live a long, healthy and happy life like they have.

Beck – WI-up .25 lbs. So I managed to stay at about the same weight in spite of traveling – credit moi. I ate a lot of Buffalo burgers, salads, and a really lovely trout dinner at Red Lobster. I made a couple of mis-steps, and had a couple of high saturated fat days. But a good first attempt at traveling. Yesterday I finished reading Stage 1 and read through Stage 2 (the actual diet part of the book) – credit! It’s very interesting, and I’m very surprised at the number of calories I’m allowed. I’m still wrestling with whether to use her diet as specified or to modify my current diet. I’m leaning towards the latter. I have time to decide since I want to go back and do the homework for the skills 6-10 in Stage 1. So I’m hoping to really begin ‘living’ Stage 2 towards the end of February.

Food – Today was op in terms of sat fat and fiber. Credit moi. Hmmm I was too lazy to make my evening snack today. I just got hungry while I was typing this up and want to go to bed instead of eating this late at night. Hopefully that’s OK with Beck…

Exercise – I’m tolerating my 45 minute days better, so I think I’ll move up to 4-45 minute days per week, with the other 3 days at 30 minutes. My tummy is aching from the jack-knifes I did today… credit!

Anne - I’m happy that DSs tooth broke through, but unhappy at DD’s reaction to his newfound abilities. I only had one child, so never experienced the sibling rivalry… Credit for the exercise and salad! Extra credit for recognizing when it was time to walk rather than run! Sorry for the sinus infection – feel better!

Bill – How strange – the bin for bananas at my supermarket was empty on Sunday. I’ve never seen that happen before… Credit for taking the time to walk to replenish the banana supply!

davidette – I’m glad you are in a good place about the Beck-stuff – credit! I too work at home (telecommute) and have no children at home. And I’m wondering how I can keep all the other balls in the air. But I rely on CBT to help me deal. To be [much too] simplistic, CBT can be boiled down to the question ‘What’s the worst that can happen [if I don’t do X]?’ Most of the time the worst that can happen is that the perfectionist vision we have of ourselves will be challenged. That we’ll have to leave to let some things be left undone, or to get done later than we’d like. I too have a number of things undone. For some (like practicing piano), I just spend less time than I used to. For other things (like the room where all my Xmas decorations are randomly piled), I just leave them undone. The worst that can happen is that I’ll be packing away Xmas decorations in my shorts!! In any case, don’t be too hard on yourself. Your health has to have priority, right?


onebyone – Another pound lost -- Credit! And congrats for 5 hours a day back!!

Robin I’m sure the more experienced hands here will have better advice than I. So let me send you a (Perhaps you can try to respond to your internal saboteur by saying you’ll stick to your plan so you can stay on the path to losing weight?) CREDIT for the great plan for today!!

Jeanie You had so many credit-worthy items in today’s post, it’s hard to keep track!! Treadmill – credit; prepared meals – credit; uneaten cheeseburger – credit; 2 uneaten desserts – credit!! (And good luck on getting the house in shape. It sounds like you have your work cut out for you…)

twilit tera – Credit tu for op food and stretching – especially since you were bored and lonesome.

Lisa Credit for sticking to it (eating and exercise) when the scale is just not cooperating! Please don’t fret about keeping up with the list – we all are rooting for you!

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - With a banana in my belly to provide my potassium, I did my trainer session at the gym. More core work. CREDIT moi for doing it; Ouch that it's so needed. I need to work on my "thoracic extension," even though it was better than he had expected. First, of course, I had to look it up. Just one more part of core. Did the lunges. CREDIT moi. I still beat up on myself that I work out harder with my trainer than without. Oh Well.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Kudos for bringing your management thinking skills to your Dayton house project. Yay for getting a mattress off the floor. Perhaps you could get access to your best thinking if you made a Power Point presentation to yourself as a client with a plan for bringing the project to conclusion. With milestones, risk identification/management, trade offs, ... the whole nine yards. For myself, it's hard to think clearly about the stuff in which I'm emotionally invested.

Such a neat thought for skipping dessert, "dorothy lane isn't going anywhere." So much easier to skip something that isn't a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.


Robin (RobinW) - Kudos for fighting the negative thinking, especially for identifying that Sabotaging Thought of "like a big fat cow." Yep, that's a sure killer thought. Easy to see how that can send you to the why-not-just-eat thinking place. Perhaps there's value in focusing on what you're doing with your plan: you're making yourself healthy; you're making yourself stronger; you're managing your diet; you're strengthening your emotional well being.

And your body is going to follow with a change in shape - on it's own schedule. You don't look like a cow to anyone. Not now, not at the networking event. You will look confident. You will look like a person who is keeping her business afloat in difficult times. You will look like a person who can invent and organize this event which is desired by all the vendors who signed up so quickly. That's what they'll see.

Sending warm supportive thoughts to help you plow though this destructive thinking and actively work to replace it with the Robin image that the rest of us have.


onebyone - Congrats for getting back on track and for the pound lost. Yay for the whopping 5 hours per day back in the comfort of your own home. LOL at your thoughts about the bananas; perhaps some church group decided to serve banana cream pie to the whole congregation and just snarfed them all up. Keep expecting to read about this in the papers.

Anne (wndranne) - Ouch for the headache and sinus infection. Obviously I should be sending you supportive thoughts to get enough nutrition. And, just as obviously, I won't. I send you happy thoughts that there's a silver lining to feeling awful. Do you suppose that headaches could be the mechanism the body uses to enforce it's set point?

Tera (twilit tera) - Kudos for all the purple happy faces, especially for getting yourself out to do the pool walking. What's the story behind "No tofu with vegetable base soup?" Sounds good to me.

ChinaMaine - Welcome back. Your mother's story inspires me also. That will go on my Advantages Card - to be mentally alert and able to take care of a 93 year old when I'm 90. Reminds me that yesterday when walking to the gym I passed my 96 year old friend out for his daily walk. Some people pull it off.

It's boggling that your supermarket was also out of bananas. Do you expect a conspiracy? Are we the only ones who know about this? I do suspect there is some story here that will come out. "The truth is out there."


davidette - Ouch for the squeeze on time. Yep, food planning and prep does consume time and it has to come from someplace. Methinks that Beck understated that in her first book. I'm getting better at accepting this, but occasionally feel that negative longing for the days I just rushed out the front door and let the cafeteria handle my breakfast. Indeed it's a trade off. Let us know how your Seven Questions session goes.

Nope, no indication that Banananella is spreading throughout the land, LOL.


LisaMarie71 - Interesting that the rewards for jogging makes plain old walking so less desirable. Kudos for your progress in that. I love being reminded that you are feeding the baby even as you type; I can mentally hear that slurping sound that I loved to hear when my two nursed - even when I was in the next room. I suppose we raised two noisy drinkers, LOL.


Readers -

"what to do . . .
To give yourself credit, do the following:
...
2. Say one of the following, or the equivalent, to yourself: Good job. Okay! Yes! That was good. Great! Good going! That deserves credit.
..." The Complete Beck Diet for Life, pg 68

[kuhljeanie]

morning all,

did a less-than-desirable job of tolerating hunger last night, and ultimately fed myself 400 calories more than my plan proscribed. i was really and truly HUNGRY for most of the day, and when i finally got home and had access to food, i overdid it. credit moi for staying conscious enough to eat all my on-plan food at work, as opposed to hitting a drive through, or for picking up junk at walgreens when i stopped after work. a big "oh well" for the frozen chocolate cake (un-iced, at least) and microwave popcorn i wolfed when i finally got home. i need to re-think my calorie allotment for the day-after a long run. it's extremely hard to be that hungry for that long; distractions don't work very well, and eventually the lizard brain kicks in. it feels qualitatively different from binging or garden-variety desire. will adjust for that.

am also feeling down in general. my doctor thinks my hair loss (which i may not have mentioned) is due to stress. i'm a little concerned about that, and am still struggling to get 7 hours of sleep a night. not sure how to get better balance, or maybe thinking that if i just suck it up for a while longer, things will get better on their own. yesterday morning i felt hopeful, but by the afternoon i was really down and fantasizing about running away. not sure where to, exactly...it just all felt like too much. i can't put my finger on anything specific. not sure if it's time for a therapist yet...between my dental surgery and el nino's run to the ER for his asthma, we're a little low on HSA funds right now. if it keeps up for another couple weeks, i may reconsider.

cheers to all!!!! hope things are going very well for everyone.

[twilit tera]

Monday Report
Stretching exercises as able (I was in pain before I could start, looking for the Oblivian game)
3 hours in new shoes (on feet as able)
OP Food
OP Supplements/Cleanse

I may have to step on the scale today, just to satisfy my curiosity. I know it's been just a few days but I feel like there's progress.

ChinaMaine: What a wonderful description of your MIL(?) and her sister! I'm glad that they have such a positive effect on you.

Your dedication is an encouragement to me!

Bill: for your banana and work out. Don't beat yourself up over being human, though. Everybody works harder under observation - sociologists even have a term for it, I discovered (taking Intro to Sociology this semester). It's called the Hawthorne effect.

I did not like the tofu in my italian style tomato-based soup. I loved it in a beef broth soup. Maybe I was just using the wrong vegetable... er, fruit... that's it, no tofu in a fruit based soup! Maybe I used the wrong kind of tofu? it was the firm kind, but I think the tofu I used before was less firm. onder: I'm very green when it comes to cooking with tofu.

Jean: Please keep us informed on how your health (mental and otherwise) is going. The low HSA balance can't be helping your stress level.

Another thing that can cause hair loss (and poor coping abilities) is being undernourished. Do you know if you're getting FDA recommended amounts of nutrients? Are you taking any kind of dietary supplements?

Whatever the case, I hope you feel better quickly.

[RobinW]

the mental anxiety over all this is so exhausting (whoda thunk it?!)

I have tried a few times this morning to thank each of you for your wonderful kind words. But I cant keep my eyes from watering up, and leaking over. So Thank You very much all of you I appreciate it more than I can possible express here.

Im working my way back up. I finally gave in last night. I got on the treadmill, did my 20min walk. Had my op dinner, but then I bought a bag of marshmallows, and ate half of it with a very lovely bottle of wine.

Ok....here is something I really need to work on!! Anxiety/stress/bad news! Last night was definitely an emotional rollercoaster that peaked and the food brought a sense of peace over me. Not good I know. But I am dealing with everything so much better this morning.

The good in all this........it hasnt taken me days or weeks to pull myself back up.

Thank you again everyone! Have a great day!