You have gotten a lot of good advice here and have shown that you realize the changes with yourself. I agree that if you keep showing him with actions that you only have eyes for him, he will eventually realize that you are not going to up and leave him. If you start denying yourself things to make him happy (ie. losing your best friend, not getting "cute" clothes, being less active, etc.)...would you really be happy? Keep showing/giving him love and keep the lines of communication open.
Were you heavy when you guys met? Do you find that you are a different person, or just more of your old self? I find that I am more of my old self, and that is who he fell in love with, so he is enjoying this too.
No I was 118 when we got married. so he is getting the old me back. but I think what bothers him is he is not the old him. he was 26 when I met him. Now he will be 50 this aug. and he looks pretty damn good I must say. I will try to get a pic of him. on here.... so hopefully we can just adjust to the changes and level off....
Lettie, My DH got used to seeing me this way, and is not quite as jealous as he was. It will become the new normal. My DH will be 50 this year too. I think he looks exceptionally good for his age too. I attribute it to how good of care I took of him of course. I'm sure your DH is the same. If you can make the time away from the kids or do it with the kids, exercising together so you both feel good about yourselves is a good thing too. Then instead of my transformation, it is ours... even if like my husband, yours only loses 5 pounds and shapes up a bit.
Barbara - I'm with you on the "training a new one"! I've seen people trade in for a new one and have the same problems they had with the last one! I'm not gonna do that... I've thought about it in the past, but feel that I can see things a lot more clearly now.
At times when I was heavy I would get frustrated that I would see heavy women getting all kinds of attention from their men and mine would barely touch me. Here are some of the things my husband has said about weight in the past - when we were first going to get married, he told me that I "better not get fat or he will leave". When I was pregnant with my first child and gained 60lbs he told me that he "is not attracted to fat women". He has made numerous comments about my weight over the years and at times I felt as if there was "someone" out there that would just love me for me... what I failed to notice was this - I was not me! I was insecure, angry, lazy, unhappy, and just generally not well. He stuck with me through all this, none of what he said was true I think he was just saying it to try to motivate me. He is much more open about how he feels now and is so loving, he's happy that I'm better now and back to my old self - silly and carefree
It isn't easy for me to admit we have also been dealing with some of this. I can't help that I like wearing cuter clothes now, and am paying attention to my make-up and letting my hair grow out. I dress very appropriate for my age and even modestly. He has only made a handful of comments but the last time he said something, I let him have it! I just couldn't take it any longer. Getting to a healthier weight is only part of the makeover I am giving myself--I have basically changed almost everything in my life and doing what is best for me and my family is stressful enough without his comments.
I am a grown, confident and strong woman that is finally finding myself after all these years. I will be dayummed if I am going to be made to feel uncomfortable at this stage in my game.
I feel bad writing this because we have been married 16 years and he is such a fantastic hubby and father in every way. He is the love of my life, my inspiration, my all. But, enough is enough! He is older than I am (ten years) and I wonder if it's contributing.
p.s. One thing I consistently do that he loves is that when I go out with him, I am always dressed to the nines--even if I have on nothing fancy, I make sure my hair, makeup and clothing always looks just so so. On the evenings we do get a sitter and go out, I get all HOOKAH for him. LOL.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 01-21-2009 at 03:15 PM.
I wonder sometimes how the age difference plays in there. I think as they seem to get closer to Old age, so to speak, seemingly fast than we seem to be. that is makes them wonder about the young bucks that are circling!
Heres another look. Yes i think he is the Hottest guy there is! I would take him over Clooney or Pitt!
Damn Lettie-your hubby IS a hottie! Tell him to get dressed and take you out on the town! You guys are the freakin Brad and Angie of AR!
I don't have a lot to say here, been with DF for three years, will be getting married this year and haven't dealt much with this issue. For now guys checking me out, or me taking extra time on myself only turns him on. I actually usually tell him when guys flirt with me. Is that weird? I usually get a really good reaction so I guess that's why. We've never been with a "cheater" like AmyNJ mentioned, I can imagine that would really scar you.
I can definitely imagine this happening though. You've gotten lots of great tips here!
Nicole-I've seen pics of Scotty and he is definitely a hottie as well!
Love the cougar comment! hahahaa
I'm really sorry.. I HAVE to do this... Inside joke for Lettie...
Quote:
Originally Posted by zambejaly5
I wonder sometimes how the age difference plays in there. I think as they seem to get closer to Old age, so to speak, seemingly fast than we seem to be. that is makes them wonder about the young bucks that are circling!
Heres another look. Yes i think he is the Hottest guy there is! I would take him over Clooney or Pitt!
Billy Ray Cyrus called....
Of course, I'd be thrilled if I still had that much hair... Oh well.. At least I still have my own good looks...
He looks very handsome 
